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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

Bent Penis Is Key To Case?

Posted on April 18, 2008
So said Plaintiff's attorney Rob Serafinowicz in a case now being tried in the Waterbury Superior Court in Connecticut. The case involves allegations by Neil Perrotti that, when he was 17 years-old, former Middlebury First Selectman Edward B. St. John sexually assaulted him...

Does Home Seller Have A Legal Obligation To Disclose That The Neighbor Is Wacky?

Posted on April 17, 2008
Yes, this is the subject of a lawsuit in Arizona. Nathan Thinnes sold his house to Glenn Melton, who bought it for his daughter, Kelly Zegers. Thinnes did not disclose that his neighbor was a REAL problem. When Melton discovered this, he asked Thinnes to take the house back, which he refused to do...

Apparently It's Okay To Invade Brittany Spears' Privacy - If ...

Posted on April 16, 2008
Remember when a bunch of people at UCLA Medical Center snuck a peak at Brittany Spears' electronic medical records? No? I didn't either. Well they did. As reported by California Healthline: The Department of Public Health said 53 employees, including 14 doctors, at UCLA Medical Center breached Spears' records on two occasions...

Good Throw Foils Robbery - Wright Triumphs Over Wrong

Posted on April 15, 2008
"Down on the floor!" - or something like that - said the knife-wielding, would-be robber of the Cigarette Outlet in Des Moines, Iowa. Although employee #1 complied, #2 (Ruth Wright) didn't, and grabbed a couple cans of chewing tobacco. Per the Des Moines Register: Wright threw two cans of chewing tobacco at the man, one of which bounced off his face...

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You're A Judge, And This Is Really Your Defense?

Posted on April 14, 2008
Zoinks. Judge Kerry Evans was before the Ontario Judicial Council in 2004. The charges included: patting the groins and buttocks of co-workers; French-kissing co-workers; force-feeding Jujubes to his co-workers; andengaging in oral sex with a court worker in his office washroom...

It's A Bird. It's A Plane. No, It's A Sausage!

Posted on April 13, 2008
Have you ever been hit by a sausage? No? Then maybe you shouldn't be so quick to judge authorities in Manchester, England who are prosecuting a 12-year-old boy for throwing a cocktail sausage at a neighbor. And it hit him on the shoulder! And this crazy judge said he couldn't believe such a case had been brought before him! What the hell is wrong with those English judges? Clearly this boy must be stopped...

Ladies Kissing Ladies In Singapore

Posted on April 12, 2008
Per a report in Reuters India: Singapore bans sex between men and any man found to have committed an act of "gross indecency" with another man could be jailed for up to two years. There is no legislation on sex between women. Okay, so this authoritarian country would allow a commercial showing women kissing? No way...

"Naughty" or "Gaudy?"

Posted on April 11, 2008
Hey, I'm all for giving someone the benefit of the doubt, if it's a close call, and there's no history. You make the call on this one. Per the Palm Beach Post: The Judicial Qualifications Commission filed formal charges against [Palm Beach County Circuit Court Judge Howard] Berman in December 2000...

Life In Jail For Abusing ATM Glitch?

Posted on April 10, 2008
Okay, so after discovering the glitch (the man's account was only debited 1/1,000th of the amount withdrawn!), he made an additional 171 withdrawals, to the tune of about $25,000. And yes, it was in China, where he could have been sentenced to death (for real)...

The Most Idiotic Prescription Drug Warning Ever

Posted on April 09, 2008
People always ask how I find the stories for Legal Juice. I found this one on the back page of the "A" section of yesterday's Washington Post. I was skimming a full-page ad for a new allergy drug called "Xyzal." Ignore, if you can, the idiotic name "Xyzal...

Judge Drops A-Bomb On "Victim"

Posted on April 08, 2008
I gotta say, I really like the way Springdale District Court Judge Stanley Ludwig handled this one. Here's what happened, as reported in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette: The alleged victim had accused his wife of beating him, Ludwig said. Ludwig said he found the woman innocent, believing the man?s injuries to be self-inflicted...

How Did Attorney Stop Disciplinary Proceedings? By Becoming A Judge!

Posted on April 07, 2008
In October 2006, as reported in The Montgomery Advertiser: [Then attorney Stuart] DuBose, pleaded guilty to violating the State Bar's rules and was suspended from the practice of law for 45 days. But the state Supreme Court ruled that the penalty wasn't sufficient...

Why You Shouldn't Fall Asleep In Class...

Posted on April 06, 2008
At least, don't fall asleep in Melissa Nadeau's class. Why not? Just ask Vinicios Robacher, a 15-year-old student in Danbury, Connecticut. When Vinicios crashed, Ms. Nadeau allegedly awoke him by slamming [the palm of] her hand down on his desk so hard that it injured his left eardrum! The boy's parents have filed papers with the Danbury town clerk, as the AP reported, which is "a prelude to a lawsuit...

All Whites, Please Leave The Courtroom

Posted on April 05, 2008
For real. As reported in The Kansas City Star: [Fulton Superior Court Judge Marvin] Arrington asked all white people to leave before he lowered the boom on the defendants, telling them that bad behavior in poor black neighborhoods drags down black advancement...

Witness Repeatedly F-Bombs Questioning Attorney - Hellish Deposition

Posted on April 04, 2008
Must have been "f-bomb the lawyer day." Mr. Aaron Wider is the owner and CEO of HTFC Corp. In a lawsuit brought by GMAC Bank against HTFC, Mr. Bodzin (GMAC's attorney) was attempting to take Mr. Wider's deposition. To say Mr. Wider was uncooperative would be an incredible understatement...

A Court Reporter Not To Be Messed With

Posted on April 02, 2008
Vietnam veteran and court reporter Ronald Tolkin was in the right place at the right time. That place was a courtroom in Brooklyn, New York. Others present: prosecutor Carolyn Pokorny, defendant Victor Wright, Judge Block, and U.S. Marshal Alvarez. As reported by nymag...

A Picnic Table?

Posted on April 01, 2008
This one is just really strange. Per wtol.com: Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. Holy shiznit! So what charge is Mr. Price looking at? A felony! What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price...

Stabbed For Being Friendly?

Posted on March 31, 2008
Yup. A 30-year-old Toronto man was riding the bus. After making eye contact with the man next to him, the friendly guy said "hello." This was too much for the unfriendly guy, who, as reported in The National Post, then asked Why do you say hello to me? I don't know you...

This TOTALLY Bites!

Posted on March 30, 2008
Robert Johnson REALLY wanted to be a telemarketer. The only problem? He is missing 18 teeth. But Johnson wasn?t going to let that stop him. He applied for a telemarketing position, went through three days of training, and received generally positive evaluations from the telemarketer...

I'm Getting That Damned Motorcycle!

Posted on March 29, 2008
Dude really wanted the motorcycle, so he came equipped - with a blow torch, gas cannisters, a screwdriver and a claw hammer. Problem was, he was a little bit to loud. The homeowner's 4-year-old son heard some noise, and woke his dad. So dad chased him down the street, then realized he was buck naked...

Threats Of Killing For Better Test Scores?

Posted on March 28, 2008
By who? A principal! According to Anita White, a teacher at New Braunfels Middle School in San Antonio, Texas, here's what principal John Burks said to her and three other teachers: He stated if the scores were not to his liking, he would kill us all and then kill himself...

Venomous Viagra? Asian Elixir? Or Just Cheap Vodka With A Snake?

Posted on March 27, 2008
A fella in Palo Pinto County Texas, known as "Bayou Bob," has been arrested for selling alcohol without a license. Not just any alcohol, mind you, but vodka with a rattlesnake in every bottle. It helps that Bob Popplewell is a rattlesnake rancher...

Bank Teller Thinks Something About Transaction Smells Funny

Posted on March 26, 2008
Tyler J. Meverden of Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin, went to the bank to make what he probably thought was a routine deposit. There was just one problem, as reported in the Door County Advocate: The money Tyler J. Meverden, 21, tried to deposit at a Sturgeon Bay bank reeked of marijuana, according to a Sturgeon Bay Police Department investigation into the incident...

Aussie TV - Raining F-Bombs? C-Bombs?

Posted on March 25, 2008
Can you say that on TV in Australia? Hell yes. Chef Gordon Ramsay, of "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares" in Australia (and "Hell's Kitchen" in the U.S.) drops some serious f-bombs. Per The Daily Telegraph, ... celebrity chef Ramsay slipp[ed] in the f-word more than 80 times in one episode...

Sorry, Sir. Those Are NOT Allowed In The Hospital

Posted on March 24, 2008
Kauai has got to be one of the coolest places on earth (especially the north shore). It's definitely the coolest place I've ever visited. But even this totally chill tropical paradise has a few rules. For example, when you visit somebody in the hospital, you can't bring the patient's horse (in the elevator!) to cheer him up...

What Hand Gesture - Not The Bird - Lands Texas Attorney In Jail?

Posted on March 23, 2008
Austin Texas attorney Adam Reposa, in court representing a man charged with DWI, was not pleased with a particular objection made by the prosecution. As reported by keyetv.com, Travis County Court at Law #6 Judge Jan Breland put Adam Reposa into the lockup after he made what is described in court documents as "?a simulated masturbatory gesture with his hand while making eye contact with the Court?" Mr...

No Jail Time For Canadian Child Molester?

Posted on March 22, 2008
How can that be? I have no idea. As reported in the Edmonton Sun: According to the agreed facts, the victim disclosed to her parents that Lister had sexually assaulted her on approximately six occasions between September 2005 and June 2006 when she was between 11 and 12 years old...

On The Lam After Ham Slam

Posted on March 21, 2008
Joe Scola, of Gloucester, Massachusetts, heard the front door of his restaurant slam. As reported in the Gloucester Daily Times, When he glanced outside, he saw his waitress returning from a break. She asked him, "Who's that guy carrying the meat down the street?" Scola recounted yesterday...

What Happens If You Offer Gum To A Prostitute?

Posted on March 20, 2008
Actually, Dayton, Ohio resident Tony Henderson only thoughtthe woman he propositioned was a prostitute. Actually, she was a police officer. So what happened that fateful night in April 2006? As reported by the Court of Appeals of Ohio, Dayton Police officer Dyan Briggs was working as a prostitution decoy...

An Unforgettable Lap Dance

Posted on March 19, 2008
Not the good kind of "unforgettable," though. A fellow named Stephen Chang was at the Hot Lap Dance Club, when, he alleges in his lawsuit, he got a lap dance that was - sorry - not so hot. Seems he caught a heel in the eye, causing "serious injuries...

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