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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

Horse And Donkey Finally Get Their Day In Court

Posted on May 25, 2010
Sadly, this is not The Juice's first report on crimes of this ilk. Click here for a recent story, and here for another. The most recent report comes from news.scotsman.com. A pensioner has been sent to prison for having sex with a horse and a donkey...

They Were Caught ... Kissing

Posted on May 24, 2010
Think about this story next time you kiss your girlfriend/boyfriend in public. From the Arab Times: Police arrested a Kuwaiti youth and his compatriot girlfriend [in Kuwait City] for consuming alcohol and behaving indecently while swimming opposite Al-Sha?ab Al-Bahari, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily...

Cycling While Partially Clothed ...

Posted on May 23, 2010
Ojai, California's loss is Ashland, Oregon's gain? Ms. Jennifer Moss, as reported by The Oregonian ... ...often pedaled a bicycle around Ojai in a hemp G-string and flower-shaped pasties to promote Earth-friendliness. Live and let live, right? Her most recent misdemeanor arrest was for removing everything but her G-string and pasties in front of parishioners leaving an Easter Sunday Mass outside a Catholic church in Ojai...

Man "Bares" His Soul To Save It?

Posted on May 22, 2010
If you believe your soul needs saving, how would you go about doing it? Probably not the way Shafiq Mohamed did. As reported by www.wafb.com: A man was arrested early Thursday morning after police responded to a complaint and found him walking down the street completely naked...

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Public College Student Fined For F-Bomb Dropped After Class

Posted on May 21, 2010
Can you just imagine how much money a college could take in if it could collect $25 from students for public cursing (and $50 for a second offense)? My guess is ... a lot. And yes, there really is a college that has such a policy on the books. That school is Hinds Community College in Mississippi...

Streakers Get What's Coming To Them

Posted on May 20, 2010
Yes sir. These streakers were in for a real surprise when they ran into a police officer while streaking through a neighborhood in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. And they got what was coming to them, which was ... nothing! As it should have been with this truly victimless crime...

Hey Buddy, Turn Your Piccolo Down

Posted on May 19, 2010
Keep in mind that this is the same town, Kure Beach, North Carolina, that outlawed thong bathing suits. Anyway, way back when (way pre-thong), someone must have been playing the piccolo really loud. Why would the Juice hazard this guess? This is from the Kure Beach nuisance laws: Sec...

Drunk Folks Make Poor Decisions

Posted on May 18, 2010
Here's a very good example, per WTHR.com: It was a day that kept getting worse for a Terre Haute man who put his car in a ditch and then tried to get it out with a "borrowed" tractor. When officers arrived, they discovered a large farm tractor and car in a ditch, apparently after falling from the bridge...

If The Underwear Doesn't Fit, You Must Acquit

Posted on May 17, 2010
Okay, so maybe that's not exactly the defense employed, but it's damn close. As reported in The South Asian Post: An Indian man escaped a possible death sentence for drug trafficking after his lawyer told a court it was impossible to walk with a stash of heroin in his underpants...

A School With Too Many Rules

Posted on May 16, 2010
Certainly regular readers know the Juice is not a fan of dress codes. Check this out, from Georgia's Thomson-McDuffie Junior High School website: In order to foster a climate conducive to [blah, blah, blah] ... the following guidelines have been developed with input from councils, faculty, administration, and students...

Jeans That Keep On Giving

Posted on May 15, 2010
At least that's how Gaylon Linn Murphy drew it up. As reported by The LA Times: Murphy, 52, apologized for his actions, which began when he tore a hole in his Gucci jeans during a visit to a Home Depot store. He then attempted to claim the retail price of the jeans, valued at between $500 and $1,500, from both the building supply store and a local restaurant where he had dined...

Capital Punishment For Masturbating?

Posted on May 14, 2010
Okay, so The Juice is overstating it a little bit. Sanchez Brumfield was charged with killing a man in Louisiana. He's being tried for first-degree murder. While in a holding cell in the courthouse basement, he was seen masturbating by the deputies who were monitoring him by camera...

Hellish Deposition - Witness Repeatedly F-Bombs Questioning Attorney

Posted on May 13, 2010
Must have been "f-bomb the lawyer day." Mr. Aaron Wider is the owner and CEO of HTFC Corp. In a lawsuit brought by GMAC Bank against HTFC, Mr. Bodzin (GMAC's attorney) was attempting to take Mr. Wider's deposition. To say Mr. Wider was uncooperative would be an incredible understatement...

A Man Who Takes His Wii A Little Too Seriously

Posted on May 12, 2010
Lots of folks take their gaming seriously. But this? From the Colorado Springs Police Blotter: May 6, 2010, Time: 5:04:00 PM, Title: Assault Officers were dispatched to Astrozon and Powers for a disturbance with a bat and a gun. When Officer Paladino arrived on scene the suspect, James Williams, ran at his cruiser and jumped on the hood...

Claim Your $200,000 Package Now!

Posted on May 11, 2010
No, you did not win some strange lottery [which you never entered, so exactly why would you believe you won it?]. There is no Nigerian bank or company involved. All you have to do is contact a certain Florida medical supply company and claim the package they received...

A Night In The Clink For A T-Shirt?

Posted on May 06, 2010
So maybe wearing this particular shirt to court was not the best decision Jennifer LaPenta, 19, of Round Lake Park, Illinois ever made. But did it warrant two days in jail? As reported by the Lake County News-Sun: Associate Judge Helen Rozenburg charged LaPenta with contempt of court for wearing the garment in her courtroom Monday...

Just A Little Trigger Happy?

Posted on May 05, 2010
Really? You're going to use a taser (in the back!) on a guy who posed NO THREAT to anyone? Have you read the manual? Even used properly, people die, Jack. Think about it. For more taser posts, scroll down a bit, and enter "taser" in the "Search This Blog" box.

Just Because It's Legal Doesn't Mean It's A Good Idea

Posted on May 04, 2010
In some countries, it's legal to change your name to just about anything. That's what George Garratt decided to do. His new legal name? Hold on. The Juice needs to take a deep breath. Okay, here it goes ... Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined...

So You Want To Give The Cop A Fake Name?

Posted on May 03, 2010
Maybe you can get away with giving a fake name to the cops for a little while, but in this day and age, not for long. Although in this case, technology was not even a factor. From the Murfreesboro (Tennessee) Post: When most people get pulled over by Murfreesboro's finest and are asked to produce identification, they do so willingly...

Total Insanity From Italian Judges

Posted on May 02, 2010
So, how can a 34-year-old man, who admitted to a four-month-long sexual relationship with a 13-year-old girl not see the inside of a cell? He was originally sentenced to 3 years but, on appeal, the court reduced the sentence to 1 year and 4 months...

Think Twice Before Calling This Woman "Fat"

Posted on May 01, 2010
Although words can cause a lot more pain than a physical injury, a 21-year-old man who called a woman "fat" might disagree. As reported by the Lincoln [Nebraska] Journal Star: Police say a 24-year-old man is missing a chunk of his right ear that was bitten off by a woman who didn't like being called "fat...

Do You Want To Be A Policeman, Or Do You Want To Be "Big"?

Posted on April 30, 2010
So you've always wanted to be a police officer. And, you've always wanted to be a little, um, bigger. Turns out you can't satisfy both of your wants, at least if you live in Papua, Indonesia. Why not? As reported in the Jakarta Globe: An applicant "will be asked whether or not his vital organ has been enlarged," said Papua police chief Bekto Suprapto, quoted on local website Kompas...

Sometimes You Have To Fight. But This?

Posted on April 29, 2010
It's an age-old story: two girls are involved with the same dude. What to do ... Conclude that they should both dump this two-timer? No. Go to the dude and tell him he has to choose between them? No. Flip a coin? Arm wrestle? First come, first serve? No, no and no...

This Is What You Get For Being A Good Samaritan?

Posted on April 28, 2010
A Good Samaritan in New York intervenes in a mugging and gets stabbed. As he is lying on the sidewalk bleeding to death, more than 20 people pass by him, and do nothing. Strike that. One guy did take pictures with his cell phone. It's just wrong that the one person who did care about his fellow man, and acted on it, died...

What Can Happen To You If You Don't Hold The Door Open For A Lady?

Posted on April 27, 2010
The Juice is a believer in some old-fashioned notions, like men holding the elevator door open for women. Too bad a fellow in Boston, Mohammed Warsame, is not likeminded. Here's why, as reported by The Boston Herald: A Roxbury man was slopped with a plate of pasta, punched, kicked, spit on and beaten with handbags by two women who told investigators they needed to "teach him a lesson" for not holding an elevator door for them, police said...

So, You're Sure He Was Black?

Posted on April 27, 2010
Are you sure about that? As reported at metro.uk: Police had put out an appeal for information on a black robber after six strikes on banks and pharmacies in the space of a month. After a tip-off police tracked down 30-year-old Conrad Zdierak - trouble was though he was white...

Lookout, Cuz Barbie Is Pissed!

Posted on April 27, 2010
So MCA Records put out a song called "Barbie Girl."(If you haven't heard the song, lucky you. Not only does it SUCK, it becomes stuck in your head.) Anyway, it doesnt' paint poor little Barbie in the best light, so Mattel sued MCA for using Barbie's name without permission...

Liking The Sound Of Your Own Voice Is One Thing ... But This?

Posted on April 27, 2010
You can't go through life without encountering folks who just plain like to hear themselves talk. I can deal with that. But what about people who just plain like to hear other people say ... "ouch" ... and don't mind making it happen? Per WSAU in Wisconsin: A 41-year-old woman from Plover is in custody after shooting people with blow darts from her van...

Indiana Man Literally (And Figuratively) In Some Deep Sh*t

Posted on April 27, 2010
There are many variations on the theme, including "You're in a shitload of trouble," or "You're in some deep shit." That last one is particularly appropriate in the case of 52-year-old Thomas Hovis Jr. As reported by WANE: A wanted man in Albion literally created a big stink to avoid being captured by police...

Not The Best Call If You're On The Explosive Ordinance Disposal Team

Posted on April 27, 2010
Although it's dangerous to handle explosives for a living, a lot of these folks would probably prefer dealing with bombs than having to do what South Lake Tahoe, California Explosive Ordinance Team members recently did. What was that? Just remember that this is posted in the "Gross" category...

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