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Law Humor

Bad Court Thingy

The cynical adventures of a new attorney.
By Anonymous

Post Frequency: 0.1/day

Last Entry: November 05, 2008 at 11:53:25

A Conservative For Obama, and the End of the Line

Posted on November 05, 2008
Like several prominent conservatives, Colin Powell, Lincoln Chafee, and Stephen Colbert to name a few, I supported Barack Obama. I had two main reasons for doing this. 1: I really don’t see how any person can look at the events of the last 8 years and say they like the direction the country is headed...

No Baby, You?re Money

Posted on October 04, 2008
The Duncanville Fun Police are at it again. The Dallas Morning News reports that Duncanville police have once against arrested the owners of a swingers club called The Cherry Pit. Duncanville police have again arrested the owners of the Cherry Pit, who host swingers’ parties at their home...

The Barter System

Posted on September 20, 2008
Over at Simple Justice, Scott opines as to what the current state of the economy means for criminal defense lawyers. He doesn’t paint a pretty picture. For those lawyers who do quality work for lower end crimes, find another practice area. I predict your business is going to dry up, and that the bottom dwellers, sucking [...

Cash Crops

Posted on September 18, 2008
Some news from The People’s Republic of California. According to The Economist, the marijuana industry in California is more profitable then the wine industry. After September 11th and the serious attempted crackdown on border security, California’s marijuana supply has gone from being imported from Mexico and British Columbia, to being grown in the state...

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Am I in Trouble?

Posted on September 16, 2008
The things I think about when I have too much time… I was covering a case for my boss today. He handed me the file as I walked out the door and told me, “plea it out if he wants to, otherwise just reset it.” Pretty simple instructions...

So You Want To Go To Law School

Posted on September 10, 2008
A Slacker’s Primer for Law School, by the always brilliant PhilaLawyer. 1. Do not spend the LSAT prep course money at the bar. If you’re looking into law school you’re not much for math or linear thinking. Otherwise you’d be on your way to Wall Street...

Beefcake

Posted on September 08, 2008
The always informative Grits had a post yesterday about police forces and steroids that got me thinking. With disgraced sprinter Marion Jones heading home to Austin this week from a federal prison and the feds prosecuting amateur bodybuilders in Plano for steroid use, I continue to wonder with each new headline when the same level of [...

Can We Have a Mulligan?

Posted on September 04, 2008
And it appears the Great Polygamist Roundup will end with a whimper instead of a bang. Strangely, this doesn’t seem to be announced with the same fanfare the original raids were. I can’t imagine why. SAN ANGELO ? Child by child, Texas authorities are acknowledging that many of the children seized during a raid on a [...

More Fun at the Border

Posted on September 02, 2008
Both University of Texas - El Paso and New Mexico State University have issued State Department like travel warning about going to Juárez. Brought to my attention by the brilliant (although SECcentric) blog, Every Day Should Be Saturday. Students from both schools have traditionally gone over to Juarez to participate in ?Drink and Drown,? which in [...

De Minimis

Posted on August 28, 2008
Your tax dollars at work, from the Houston Chronicle. Houston’s 14th Court of Appeals on Tuesday upheld the conviction of a local doctor for indecent exposure. The court rejected the argument by high-profile attorney Dick DeGuerin and his associate Neal Davis that the doctor could not have exposed himself to an undercover cop because that which is [...

Does Not Compute

Posted on August 23, 2008
Two headlines from the Houston Chronicle that just don’t add up when put next to each other. Mexican officials outline ambitious plan to fight crime Mexican police chief slain a day after taking job On the same day that Mexican prosecutors get together to come up with a new anti-crime plan, the Chief of Police for Ciudad Juarez [...

Hard Workin? Man

Posted on August 22, 2008
No pun intended. I promise. There’s a lot of perks to being a police officer. The satisfaction of helping others and keeping the streets safe. The fact that you can have a mustache and people don’t wonder about you. The ability to have sex with prostitutes as part your job...

A Match Made In Heaven

Posted on June 14, 2008
Blackwater is joining the War on Drugs. Nope, absolutely no chance anything could go wrong here. Blackwater’s Iraq contract was extended in April, but the company is by no means betting the house on its long-term presence there. While the firm is quietly maintaining its Iraq work, it is aggressively pursuing other business opportunities...

Scents of Plum and Newspaper Ink

Posted on June 10, 2008
This is completely off topic, but it’s been slow around here, not much criminal news to write about. Mrs. BadCourtThingy and I were making dinner last night, and the recipe called for red wine. Since I’ve read that red wine is good for your heart, I figured I better do my body good and have a [...

Crusin? and Boozin?

Posted on June 05, 2008
I’m actually surprised this story isn’t from Texas. A Whitehall man learned that on Memorial Day, when he was charged with driving while intoxicated after police pulled him over for swerving and driving on the sidewalk on a four-wheeled, motorized cooler known as a “Cruzin Cooler...

Down The Tubes

Posted on May 27, 2008
It finally happened. No, not a nasty letter from the State Bar. It finally cost me over 50 dollars to fill up my gas tank, $51.00 to be exact. I knew this day was coming, the cost to fill up my tank has been going for in the 30 dollar range, to [....

Will Snitch For Cash

Posted on May 19, 2008
As a Texan, I normally wouldn’t read the New York Times. Heck, I kind of feel like a traitor when I read the Scott’s and Gideon’s blogs. But, since I got this story from The Consumerist, I figure I won’t get kicked out and sent to Oklahoma...

Money Well Spent

Posted on May 16, 2008
7.5 million dollars. According to the Austin American Statesman, that’s how much money it cost the state of Texas for the first 19 days of the raid of the YFZ Ranch in Eldorado and ensuing boondoggle aftermath. I had a few other words to describe this situation, but this is a family friendly site...

Hide and Seek

Posted on May 15, 2008
My practice takes me to three different counties on a fairly regular basis, giving me six different offices to deal with. Three County Attorneys and three District Attorneys. And each one has a different interpretation on just how much information they have to give me...

Because I Got High

Posted on May 06, 2008
People who skip out on jury duty make me mad. First off, it’s your civic duty. Suck it up and miss work for a couple days. Second, I really want to be on a jury and will probably never get to. And while the Homer Simpson method for getting out of [...

It?s Fun To Do Bad Things

Posted on May 01, 2008
I suppose with Grand Theft Auto IV coming out last Tuesday, this is an appropriate post. Let’s review here. We’ve got a 7 year old who: Looks like he’s ready for a triple-bypass. Has friends who smoke. Jacked a car, causing plenty of property damage...

Lock & Load

Posted on April 28, 2008
Just as an aside, tonight is one of those nights that makes me glad I live in Texas. I’m sitting out on my back deck typing this. It’s 70 degrees with no humidity. I’ve got Radio Free Texas streaming (thanks to my neighbor’s wifi he didn’t password), a bottle of Shiner Bock, and a Kinky [...

Sign Language

Posted on April 23, 2008
A post on Mark Bennett’s blog and a story in an ABA email caught my eye. A criminal defense attorney in Austin was convicted of contempt and given 90 days in jail for making a “gesture, which simulated masturbation.” A Texas lawyer found guilty of contempt for making a lewd courtroom gesture has been released on [...

Parenting Lessons

Posted on April 11, 2008
Today’s lesson, how to lose your kids. COMMERCE CITY, Colo. — A couple fighting about which gang their 4-year-old toddler should join caused a public disturbance that resulted in the father’s arrest, Commerce City police said Thursday...

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

Posted on April 09, 2008
Since my beloved Detroit Tigers have started the season by going 0 - 7, it’s up to me to pick up the slack and get some wins. I got my first win at a jury trial. Only it was as a prosecutor. And it was against a Pro Se Defendant. Occasionally, I get asked to be [...

The Scarlet-er Letter

Posted on March 25, 2008
According to an article in today’s Houston Chronicle, Texas has decided to take the sex-offender registry information one step further. Currently, if you’re a sex offender in Texas, anyone who looks you up online can find your name, home address, and a photo, among other information...

Jump In The Pool, Its Filled With Sharks

Posted on March 10, 2008
I was browsing the ABA website seeing what’s happening in the legal world outside of the Great State of Texas. A press release caught my eye, claiming that there was only a “slight change” in law school enrollment statistics from last year to this...

Do Not Call

Posted on March 05, 2008
Last night, I had my first late night phone call from someone needing help. It was a lady I had spoke with earlier in the day who wanted to hire me. She managed to call me late at night, since when I called her to set up the appointment, I used my cell [...

License To Breed

Posted on February 29, 2008
In the interest of full disclosure, I don’t have kids, nor do I want them. And I’m at the age where my friends start having kids on purpose (unlike college where they had kids on accident). I have two reasons for not wanting kids. The first is very selfish...

Money for Nothing

Posted on February 26, 2008
I promise I’ll get back to writing about criminal related stuff, I just haven’t had anything good lately. Just run of the mill crimes, nothing worth writing home (or on the interwebs) about. So right now myself and the soon-to-be Mrs. BadCourtThingy are in the process of buying a house...

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