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Law Humor

Overheard in Law School Overheard in Law School

Funny exchanges between law students, law students and professors, or strange statements made by professors while lecturing.

Post Frequency: 0.3/day

Last Entry: February 24, 2008 at 20:35:00

Recent Entries: 30

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Ha Ha Ha...Ewww

Posted on February 24, 2008
3L: Have you heard about "There Will Be Blood?" . . . Yeah, it's a period piece.

Sometimes Words Suffice

Posted on February 13, 2008
3L: Get your camera ready, we're about to see that fat lady's butt cheeks.

Well Hello, Mr.Fancypants.

Posted on February 07, 2008
District Attorney: I think we'll just wait for the officer to get here, then we'll go ahead and try the case.3L: But if I try it and we don't win, it'll count as a loss.Judge: No, no, no...do not start counting wins and losses.3L: That's the point...I haven't had to count any losses before.

A SEIBEI answer

Posted on January 30, 2008
The Law:You wouldn't have to show that the design was taken directly from SEIBEI. I am going to try not to go TOO deeply into this, but to demonstrate copyright infringement you would have to show evidence of both access and similarity, which are weighed according to a sliding scale...

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Copyright Law Junkies: NOW IS YOUR CHANCE!

Posted on January 30, 2008
Hey Law School people.This really gets to me. The guy who does the SEIBEI monster t-shirts is awesome. He is friends with a good friend of mine, and I own one of the t-shirts personally. If you are at all interested in copyright law and want to talk about the issue presented here, please e-mail me...

freudian blackboards

Posted on December 01, 2007
Noticed on a blackboard following a property review:StandardJurisprude

At least you have a way to pass the time?

Posted on November 13, 2007
Law School Grad (waiting for bar results): oh good, i was hoping for bar results before i left, but luckily i got an ad for butt plugs so i'll still be able to be f***ed in the ass!

Don't make me get my belt!

Posted on November 10, 2007
Prof (who is also a practicing criminal law attorney): Everytime I go in there I give my credit card to one of the public defenders who comes to watch, because one of these days Judge X is going to throw me in jail.3L: Why?Prof: We got him spanked by daddy...

Northwestern University College of Law and Microbrewery

Posted on November 05, 2007
Overheard at an expansive Liquor Store in Chicago:Female #1: Do you work here?Employee: Yes Female #2: We hate you.Female #1: Kidding!Employee: How can I help you?Female #1: We are looking to buy beer, but we don't know what to getFemale #2: We don't want Frat Party beerFemale #1: And we don't want something that screams 'Snob!'Employee: You want Law Student Beer...

Does this smell like torts, oranges, or pine trees?

Posted on November 04, 2007
Recent Grad: [State's] bar is apparently scratch 'n' sniff, because [other recent grad] passed!

Those chicks sure do move fast on the L-Word

Posted on November 04, 2007
1L: Why is the clock moving so slow?1L lesbian: Cause god has a penis.Overheard by Emma

West-Crack and LexisMeth-is

Posted on November 04, 2007
Regarding the shameless self-promotion of Lexis and Westlaw at 1L orientation.1L#1: It's like they're taking their marketing cues from street hustlers. 1L#2: Yeah, "Psssst--hey, kid, wanna buy a statute?"1L#1: "C'mon, first ten hits are free."Overheard by JB3

Great 2nd Amendment argument

Posted on November 04, 2007
2L: I was thinking that maybe I should be saving my money for a new computer instead of buying more guns; but I figure there?s no one trying to make it illegal to buy a computer so I?ll just buy guns for now.Overheard by DSE

Is it Strickland yet?

Posted on November 04, 2007
Attorney: "Your honor, I wasn't aware my client had any priors."Judge: "Really. You represented him on that case."Overheard by JLE

Priapism is a serious condition

Posted on November 04, 2007
Torts Professor: Party A agrees to have 'intimate relations' with party B for $20. Party B knowingly gives party A a counterfeit $20 bill. Is there harm? I mean, Party A is stiffed.Overheard by DJB

Another great reason to spend $50K

Posted on November 04, 2007
Torts Prof: "I didn't take notes in law school. Though in some classes, I got so bored, that I figured that law school would provide me with the perfect opportunity to learn how to write with my left hand. So I did take some notes, but they were technically penmanship practice...

He meant point the finger of blame at her, clearly

Posted on November 04, 2007
Re: Bonkowski v. Arlan's Department StoreTorts Prof: Defendants may, in this case, possibly be held liable for a tort if "one holds her down while the other one fingers her."Overheard by DF

Invest in some really big notebooks

Posted on November 04, 2007
Evidence Prof: Now the defendants have heard that their medication is causing praipism. That?s like in the Viagra and cialis commercials when they say, ?If you?ve had an erection for more than four hours?? This is a serious condition. Any man knows how hard it would be to try to pee standing on your head...

You found a use for it after all!

Posted on November 04, 2007
2L, yelling: I am going to beat you to death with my UCC!Overheard by LH

It's similar to the douchebag test

Posted on November 04, 2007
Contracts Professor: "Bastardy proceedings are interesting because you don't actually get to prove someone is a bastard."Overheard by mn

but he did it for you?

Posted on November 04, 2007
1L #1: but a hammer and nails is not intrinsically dangerous 1L #2: i don't know, jesus was killed with a hammer and nails.Overheard by EW

Admit it, you know this guy

Posted on October 29, 2007
Professor: "Now I remember back when I was in law school, and even in undergrad - even though that was a long time ago, that if someone asked me how much time I spent on something ? I'd lie! I'd tell them I didn?t spend any time on it, or just 15 minutes, but in reality I spent three hours...

On the count of three, everybody vomit

Posted on October 29, 2007
Prof walks in, shows the bloodstains on his shirt from his neck: "Hold on while I get a towel but don't worry, I'm not canceling class."Overheard by MJG

yes please!

Posted on October 29, 2007
Criminal Law prof: "You can still consent to have a good wrestle with your buddy on the floor ? assuming guys still do that."Overheard by ML

Character and fitness is overrated

Posted on October 29, 2007
The Dean: "Don't let bar nights bar you from the bar."Overheard by I could be sleeping...

thank you, I'm here all week

Posted on October 29, 2007
Torts professor: "Sex for money is prostitution? so the only harm is if you got stiffed."Overheard by I could be sleeping....

Maybe not so bad after all

Posted on October 29, 2007
Civ Pro Prof: "You know, extortion has such a negative connotation."Overheard by without reason

But we paid $50K for it!

Posted on October 29, 2007
Prof: How many of you think this year [3L] is totally unnecessary?*Everyone raises their hand*Prof: IT IS!!Overheard by Melanie

R. Kelly gives two thumbs up

Posted on October 29, 2007
Associate Dean: "Yes, urination is always a treat."Overheard by AK


Posted on October 29, 2007
Torts Professor on first day of class: "Welcome to Torts R Us, an introduction suing everyone for just about everything. Learning to sue the bastards should be fun!"Overheard by Newly Minted 1L

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