Law Humor

We all need to eat

Posted on March 28, 2008
Arden Group is poised to become the #2 premium full-service grocer for Southern California's bountiful health nuts now that Whole Foods has been made more whole with the addition of Wild Oats. With all the changes these new age companies are bringing to the exciting world of groceries, can Village Super Market make it with a CEO who has been packing shopping bags since 1955? Slow and steady Kroger might make the best inflationary play...

How To Get Off A Jury

Posted on March 07, 2008
A juror was permitted to leave a jury after having another juror performed the Heimlich manuveur to remove lunch from her throat. Though the women did not require emergency ambulance transport, she was permitted by the judge to skip the remaining deliberations...

Don't jump off the Empire State Building

Posted on March 06, 2008
In fact, don't even THINK ABOUT jumping off the Empire State Building. You will faced reckless endangerment charges even if you get stopped before you leave the ledge.The state appeals court has overturned a Manhattan judge's decision to clear daredevil Jeb Corliss of charges related to his attempt to parachute off the Empire State Building...

Don't Listen to Donald

Posted on March 06, 2008
If you've defaulted on your mortgage payments, the Donald says "Don?t leave your house. Work with your bank. If you have to, fight the bank. Figure out a way to make a deal."Why this is s an idea that makes a lot of sense in theory, bankruptcy attorney Kevin Chern doesn't believe this advice is realistic:While Trump is cheerfully suggesting that it's easier to work things out than you might imagine, an NPR headline tells us that the Federal Reserve Chairman is urging banks to help borrowers more...

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Don't trust your Aunt Jemima

Posted on March 06, 2008
About to sit down in front of a hot stack of Aunt Jemima's best pancakes? Not feeling well after downing a pile of waffles? Quaker Oats is recalling Aunt Jemima Pancake & Waffle Mix on fears of salmonella contamination.Look in your cupboard for the recalled products-- Aunt Jemima Pancake & Waffle Mix: Original and Original Complete and Buttermilk Complete sold in 2 pound and 5 pound boxes with Best Before dates of FEB 08 09 H through FEB 16 09 H stamped on the top and containing the following UPC codes:30000 43272: Aunt Jemima Buttermilk Complete, 5 lb...

Claim your refund for useless Airborne cold supplement

Posted on March 05, 2008
Been fooled by the mythical schoolteacher who created Airborne cold remedy in response to being "constantly exposed to germs in her classroom"? In 2006, ABC News discovered that the "clinical study" that Airborne had been touting as proof that its product cured colds was not really very clinical, nor much of a study...

Shoot Yourself to Avoid Drug Tests

Posted on March 02, 2008
Daniel Kuch, of Pasco, Washington, had his friend shoot him, and then told the police he was shot while jogging in order to avoid an upcoming drug test at work.LAW HACK: To avoid charges false reporting and reckless endangerment, create more convincing story...

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