Law Humor

Scalia: Equal Protection for Ladies? Nobody Voted for That

Posted on January 04, 2011
Here are a couple of quotes you may find interesting: No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life,...

Renewed Witch-Regulation Bill Passes in Romania

Posted on January 03, 2011
Last September I reported that a bill intended to get Romanian witches to pay their fair share of taxes had failed to pass, because (according to its sponsor) too many legislators were afraid they would be cursed if they voted...

Most-Viewed Stories of 2010

Posted on December 30, 2010
The items below are the items that got the most traffic here during 2010. Not all of these were written or posted during 2010, though most were - they are just the items that, for whatever reason, happened to draw...

Assorted Stupidity #11

Posted on December 30, 2010
In Connecticut, Betty Lichtenstein was just sentenced to nine months in prison for practicing nursing without a license. You may remember Betty as the Connecticut Nursing Association's "Nurse of the Year" for 2008, but if you do you have forgotten...

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Video Appears to Undermine Football Fan's Injury Claims

Posted on December 29, 2010
Last week, New York Jets defensive end Shaun Ellis was sued by a Seattle Seahawks fan over a 2008 incident in Seattle in which Ellis threw a giant snowball into the crowd. The Jets had just lost to the Seahawks...

Benny-Hill-Worthy Police Chase in Washington

Posted on December 27, 2010
Doesn't seem to be too much going on in the legal profession today, between the holidays and New York being buried in two feet of snow, so how about a ridiculous police chase to ease back into things? Police in...

UPDATE: Santa Cleared in Providence Robbery

Posted on December 25, 2010
I reported earlier on a number of crimes allegedly carried out by one Santa Claus, a.k.a. Kris Kringle, a.k.a. "St. Nicholas," a.k.a. "St. Nick," during this holiday season, and it seems only fair to follow up with this report that...

NY High Court: Shank Happens

Posted on December 21, 2010
In a brief opinion released today, the New York Court of Appeals agreed with lower courts that a golfer hit by an "errant" shot could not sue his co-golfer for negligence, because one who chooses to golf assumes the risk...

How the Great Kansas City Meerkat Caper Unraveled

Posted on December 21, 2010
According to a report in the Kansas City Star, the stolen meerkat just proved to be too much for the teenage masterminds to handle: [Police] said the teens [19 and 17] grew up in the same Northland trailer park and...

Scanners Successfully Locate Things for TSA to Steal, Not Much Else

Posted on December 20, 2010
A former TSA officer got three years' probation last week for stealing things out of the luggage he was supposed to be screening. Well, I guess he was screening them, he was just screening them for loot. According to a...

UPDATE: Kentucky Lawyers Still Not Allowed to Fight Duels

Posted on December 17, 2010
As I wrote in more detail last year, since 1849 Kentucky has required every new legislator, public officer and member of the bar to take an oath stating that, among other things, [I] have not fought a duel with deadly...

Assorted Stupidity #10

Posted on December 15, 2010
"I miss having a dog," said Michael Vick, who used to help drown the ones that weren't good enough at killing other dogs. Uh, how about no? If you don't like your firm's dress code, be glad you don't work...

Facebook Page

Posted on December 15, 2010
While I have never been too fond of Facebook (though I have come to terms with the Twitter), it has come to my attention that at least a few people do use it and so I have set up an...

Law and the Multiverse

Posted on December 15, 2010
Here's a great new blog you should check out: Law and the Multiverse, which considers legal scenarios involving superheroes and supervillains. My favorite so far is probably the post "RICO and the Legion of Doom," in which the authors conclude...

"New-Car Fumes" May Have Contributed to Hit-and-Run, Expert Says

Posted on December 14, 2010
Mmmm, who doesn't love the smell of a new car? There's just nothing else like it. It may also be deadly. That's according to an accident-reconstruction expert working for the defense in a Colorado criminal case. The expert has reportedly...

A Festivus for the Rest of Us, or at Least for This Guy

Posted on December 13, 2010
Why hasn't this been tried before? Or has it? On December 10, the Orange County Register reported that "longtime county inmate" Malcolm King had successfully argued he was entitled to special meals because eating the salami served at his facility...

City Baffled by Hundreds of Mysterious Stop Signs

Posted on December 13, 2010
If you installed 700 unauthorized stop signs in Cranston, Rhode Island, would you please call the mayor? Judges have been dismissing tickets written for running stop signs in Cranston because the city apparently doesn't know which signs are official and...

Study: Lawyers Under Stress Are Critical, Cautious and Distant

Posted on December 10, 2010
According to a study reported in the ABA Journal, lawyers under stress are tense, overly critical, cautious and emotionally distant. In a related story, lawyers not under stress are tense, overly critical, cautious and emotionally distant. The data for the...

PRACTICE TIP: "Making Strange Faces" at Jurors Is Frowned Upon by Judges

Posted on December 10, 2010
"I've been involved in the criminal justice system for 30 years," said Ontario Attorney General Chris Bentley, "and I can't say that I've heard of a similar circumstance." The circumstance was an assistant prosecutor "making strange faces" at jurors, which...

Sue Your Illusion

Posted on November 24, 2010
Not only do the former members of Guns N' Roses not get along, Axl Rose even hates the cartoon version of Slash that appears in Guitar Hero III. Axl sued Activision this week, claiming that it had fraudulently induced him...

Dance Troupe Mistaken for Terrorists

Posted on November 23, 2010
On November 17th, the Lincoln Tunnel was closed for nearly an hour while police chased a group of people dressed in camouflage who were seen running through the tunnel. Officers of the FBI-NYPD Joint Terrorism Task Force as well as...

Quit Bothering Superman, Judge Tells LAPD

Posted on November 22, 2010
Superman has won yet another battle against evildoers, but this time he went to federal court instead of the Hall of Justice to get help. This matter comes before the court on a Motion for Preliminary Injunction filed by the...

New York, Florida, Whatever

Posted on November 19, 2010
The ad to the right appeared in a Law360 newsletter that was circulated today. Phillips Lytle is a New York firm, and so possibly the intended message is that even if you are in, let's say, Florida, Phillips Lytle can...

"I'm the Next President," Says Guy Who Will Never Be President

Posted on November 19, 2010
Alvin Greene, formerly the Democratic nominee to be the next senator from South Carolina, predicted this week that he would be the next president of the United States. He seemed undeterred by either his loss in the general election or...

More Things "TSA" Might Stand For

Posted on November 19, 2010
It looks like my claim to "Trouser Search Administration" is safe, but as this video shows, there are so many other good alternatives I won't get too excited about that one in particular. Given some of the increasing number of...

Plaintiff Claims Potential Landlord Tracked Her in Motorcade

Posted on November 18, 2010
From the San Francisco docket: Jacqueline J_____ v. Milena Talian; Bobby Bogan; Mission Bay Housing Ptnrs LP; Fillmore Marketplace LP; Related Mgt. Co. LP, No. CGC-10-505164 (San Francisco Super. Ct. filed Nov. 8, 2010) Civil rights lawsuit. The plaintiff was...

Florida Governor Will Seek Pardon for Jim Morrison

Posted on November 18, 2010
Florida's outgoing governor, Charlie Crist, said this week that he will officially ask for a posthumous pardon for Jim Morrison, the Doors singer who was convicted in 1970 of indecent exposure after a prosecution that many believe was politically motivated...

Man Forced to Eat His Own Beard After Losing Lawn Mower Fight

Posted on November 17, 2010
From Lawrenceburg, Kentucky, comes this poignant story of a shattered friendship and a severed beard. James Hill and Troy Holt pleaded guilty to charges stemming from an incident last May in which they cut off Harvey Westmoreland's beard and forced...

TSA: Trouser Search Administration

Posted on November 17, 2010
Credit where credit is due: as I have said before, I think "Thousands Standing Around" is hilariously funny, but if nobody has suggested "Trouser Search Administration" yet I am hereby staking my claim to that one. This excellent post by...

WARNING: Do Not Drink From Toilet, Say Helpful Signs at City Hall

Posted on November 15, 2010
This warning sign appears inside the men's bathroom in the city hall of Chandler, Arizona: Urinals and Toilets are served with gray water. Do Not Drink. According to the Arizona Republic, Chandler has a brand-new city hall that incorporates environmentally...

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