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Law Humor
: Lowering the BarAssorted Stupidity #11
By Kevin Underhill
- In Connecticut, Betty Lichtenstein was just sentenced to nine months in prison for practicing nursing without a license. You may remember Betty as the Connecticut Nursing Association's "Nurse of the Year" for 2008, but if you do you have forgotten that Betty wasn't a nurse, that there is no Connecticut Nursing Association, and that Betty staged the dinner at which she got the "award."
- More things not to call 911 about: french-fry disputes (1 call), unsatisfactory manicures (4 calls), and "checking up on deputies" (16 calls). If you missed the prior examples, they included McNugget controversies, sandwich-creation issues, disobedient children and missing shrimp.
- More things not to kill somebody over: dominoes. Especially on Christmas Eve. People, the Yahtzee killing was bad enough. Can't we all just get along?
- We're "always trying to think ahead," said an official as to why the TSA issued a "Thermos alert" for the holidays. Seems the new theory is that a terrorist might try to hide a bomb inside something. And since the TSA is already alert to the risk of exploding chickens, I guess it has moved on to brainstorming about other things people could put things in, so it can look inside those things too.
- Re: thinking ahead, the Washington Post reports that the TSA "spent about $30 million on devices that puffed air on travelers to 'sniff' them out for explosives residue," though tests showed they weren't reliable. "Those machines ended up in warehouses . . . abandoned as impractical." It's now spending $300 million on body scanners (which will cost $300 million a year to operate), though the GAO told Congress it is "unclear" whether they work. Thermos alert!
- Q: How many pages of post-deposition corrections to your client's testimony is too many? A: Sixty-three. "[A]nyone can make an innocent misstatement or two," wrote the Eleventh Circuit. "But not 868 of them."
Full post as published by Lowering the Bar on December 30, 2010 (boomark / email).
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