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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

This Stinks

Posted on February 06, 2009
A Michigander named C.J. McDonald is just dying to see his township's meeting minutes. And he wants to see the original minutes because he doesn't trust the ones on the web. So he filed a FOIA lawsuit, which the judge tossed because he said Augusta Township provided Mr...

A Use For A Chicken That You Probably Haven't Considered

Posted on February 05, 2009
Sorry to disappoint a certain segment of you Juicers, but it's nothing sexual. It's actually criminal. As reported by The West Australian, a man broke into a butcher shop and stole a frozen chicken. He then took that chicken to a cafe, where he allegedly used it to try to smash the cafe's window...

Some Seriously Smelly Feet

Posted on February 04, 2009
Can you imagine a man's feet smelling so bad that he got kicked out of a university? It's true, and Teunis Tenbrook has been fighting getting the boot (sorry) FOR 10 YEARS! Exactly how a case like this can take 10 years is a mystery to me, but whatever Mr...

Doctor "Do Whatever I Please"

Posted on February 03, 2009
That's apparently the way Dr. Henry Kinch's mind works. Mrs. B and her husband, Mr. B, were his patients for many years. Oh, and Dr. Kinch prescribed anti-depressants to Mr. B without seeing him. I'm sure you know where this is going ... Yes, you guessed it, Dr...

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Quite The Crime Spree

Posted on February 02, 2009
When you think of a crime spree, don't you think of a string of similar crimes? Irishman Richard William O'Flynn, in Australia on a 2-year visa, defied convention with his spree. As reported by livenews.com.au: His most bizarre act was to take a goldfish into a Ticketek office in the CBD and demand money so he could pay for food to feed it...

What's A Foot Worth?

Posted on February 01, 2009
Apparently, a severed foot is worth less than $100, at least in St. Lucie County, Florida. As reported tcpalm.com: The St. Lucie County Fire District firefighter accused of absconding with a portion of a man?s leg from an Interstate 95 crash scene last year was arrested Monday on a misdemeanor theft charge, a Florida Highway Patrol spokesman said...

How Many Dogs Can You Have Until Your Home Is Considered A "Kennel?"

Posted on January 31, 2009
If you live in Kern County, California, the answer is ... there is no limit! That's got some folks mighty angry with Ms. Kimi Peck, who has at least 168 dogs insider her home, according to KGET News. That's a lot of dog hair. (Can you imagine washing and brushing all of those dogs?) Why so many dogs? Peck says the animals at her house are society's throwaways: dogs deemed too vicious or turned over to animal shelters in the Southland over the last 15 years and facing certain euthanasia...

Look Out For That #@*&+!

Posted on January 30, 2009
Hey, look out for that ... lamppost. As reported by the BBC: CCTV has captured the moment when two handcuffed prisoners' attempt to escape custody came to a crashing end as they ran into a lamppost. The pair ran away while awaiting their court hearing in Hastings and managed to cross a street towards a car park before they were recaptured...

Just Don't Complain About The Calzone ...

Posted on January 29, 2009
Didn't I tell you not to complain about the calzone? But no, you wouldn't listen. As reported by the Sun Sentinel: Flagler County authorities say a restaurant owner pistol-whipped and beat a customer who complained that his takeout order was incorrect...

Not The Smartest Way To Express Displeasure With Your Lawyer And The Jury

Posted on January 28, 2009
Mr. Weusi McGowan was on trial in San Diego. It's clear that he was dissatisfied with both his lawyer and the jury. How do we know this? Per 10news.com: At the mid-morning break, McGowan produced a plastic baggie filled with fecal matter and spread it on [his attorney's] hair and face, then flung the excrement toward the jury box, hitting the briefcase of juror No...

One Of The Strangest Toilet Stories Ever

Posted on January 27, 2009
That headline is not hyberbole. As reported by the AP: Law officers in western Kansas are investigating the bizarre case of a woman they say sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years. TWO YEARS! What would you think happens to your body under those circumstances? The sheriff said the woman's muscles had atrophied and that medical personnel had to remove her from the toilet because she was bound to it by "natural means...

A Foot Fondler Hits The Target

Posted on January 26, 2009
Target the store, that is. I don't understand what drives a foot fetishist, though when I think about the sweet, gentle curve of the arch, the juicy meat of the big toe ... oh, sorry. Anyway, I don't know what Robert James, Sr. of Montgomery County, Pennsylvania was thinking when he went to Target, posing as a podiatrist...

Tell Me You Didn't File A Lawsuit Over That

Posted on January 25, 2009
No! I told you not to tell me that! As reported by The Cincinnati Enquirer: The 88-year-old Blue Ash woman arrested after refusing to give a 13-year-old neighborhood boy his football back after it landed in her yard has sued the youth's parents, alleging emotional distress...

Seriously - You're Giving Me A Ticket For That?

Posted on January 24, 2009
[Warning: kids, leave the room.] Ms. Gill Hodges committed an almost unspeakable crime: she used four parking vouchers to pay for her parking, instead of two! And she had the nerve to wonder what difference it made, since her four vouchers added up to �2, exactly the required fee...

Do Not Come Between This Man And His Chicken

Posted on January 23, 2009
Calvin Edwards of Fort Pierce, Florida takes his chicken VERY seriously. Just ask his brother. Per The Treasure Coast Palm: The brother said he and Edwards were ?scuffling over chicken wings when Calvin pulled a small pocket knife and threatened to cut him? ...

Armed - With A Dildo - And Dangerous

Posted on January 22, 2009
This one is bizarre, even to the Juice. Shaun Michael Burke has been charged with seriously beating a woman with a rubber dildo (wrapped in duct tape) while he robbed her house. The police also suspect that her dog bit Mr. Burke - for the last time...

Surely The Best Fake Student - Ever

Posted on January 21, 2009
Maybe you wouldn't be so impressed if I told you that Elizabeth Okazaki pretended to be a student for 4 months at UCLA, even obtaining a BruinCard that allowed her to use the recreational facilities (where she stored some of her stuff!) and the libraries...

Seriously, Busted For Feet On The Seat?

Posted on January 20, 2009
Kathleen Jennings, age 19, is getting hosed. This young lady is no reprobate. She is a Cub Scout leader who works with disabled children! And she is an A student, and is studying math at Manchester University. She's never been in any trouble before...

Twin Trouble In Italy

Posted on January 19, 2009
In Italy, you can be a part-time Judge and a practicing attorney. So there were these identical twins, one of whom was a part-time Judge and a lawyer. The other sister had finished law school, but was not a practicing attorney, or so everyone thought...

Wendy's, Toilet Paper, And ... A Lawsuit?

Posted on January 18, 2009
When the moment comes, I think it's safe to say that most of us would prefer not to be in a public place, especially a fast food restaurant. The moment came for Henry Chai in a Wendy's Restaurant in Montgomery County, Ohio. Now, as fast food goes, I like Wendy's...

Registered Socks Offenders

Posted on January 17, 2009
For offenses involving socks, two British men were sentenced to 18 months in jail (for "conspiring to commit acts of gross indecency"), and put on the sex offenders' registry for 10 years. Really. Per The Southport Visiter: Two men swindled hundreds of people in Southport out of their socks back in the 1990s...

Bank Robbery Doomed To Fail?

Posted on January 16, 2009
Got the gun? Check. Ready to do this? Check. In the bank? Um. No. Per the Lexington Herald-Leader: Police in Nicholasville say a man showed a gun and tried to rob a bank, but he wasn't in one. The Jessamine South Elkhorn Water District has offices in what was formerly a branch of Farmers Bank...

Need Some Cigarettes? You'll Need A Pick-Up Truck ...

Posted on January 15, 2009
All this for some cigarettes? Check this out from the Pocono Record: Two males backed a pickup truck through the front glass door of the Tobacco Road store on Route 209 in Middle Smithfield Township at 3:38 a.m. Monday, police said. And then they took a bunch of cigarettes? Not exactly...

I Hate Taunting

Posted on January 14, 2009
Let's say you rob somebody, and then you're foolish enough to call him the following day to taunt him. Would you do it from a phone that could be traced to you? A young man in New York did. And it led to his arrest, along with his 4 alleged accomplices...

A Little Too Late For Remorse

Posted on January 13, 2009
Certainly nobody (save some of the cheaters) would argue that it's wrong to cheat on your spouse. Likewise, just about everybody (save a few vengeful souls) would argue that Rajni Narayan, of Adelaides, Australia, went too far when she "... set fire to her husband's genitals...

An Embarrassment To Petty Thieves Everywhere

Posted on January 12, 2009
You would think that even a petty thief would be mindful of the the old adage about "going to the well once to often." Not this guy. As reported by the Australian publication The Age: A serial beer bandit who was caught after stealing beer on three separate occasions from the same house...

It's My Yard, Beyatch, So Go ...

Posted on January 11, 2009
Actually, Maryland resident Erin Alban has a raised middle finger sticking up from her mailbox support. As reported by The Baltimore Sun, her neighbors aren't real happy about that, or the ... used-car-lot-style pennants [that] run between trees; plastic reindeer; smiley faces painted on the driveway; lampshades tied to bushes, and ...

Know When To Say When

Posted on January 10, 2009
Certainly it's no State v. Johnson, but the Buldoni case will have to do for today. As reported at myCentralJersey.com, here's what happened in a case involving Mr. Buldoni, before Judge Emery Toth: After pleading not guilty, Buldoni, also known as Luis Martinez, tried to explain the offenses to Toth...

Indian Security Guards Not Up To The Task

Posted on January 09, 2009
This man clearly belongs in the Streaking Hall of Fame. As reported by The Times of India: Students at the varsity were stunned to see a youth walk stark naked right past them, said MSU officials. "Though it was a holiday due to Moharram, there were several students on the campus as the youth festival is on...

Multitasking - A Quintessential Juice Story

Posted on January 08, 2009
Here's the story from ABC News (that's the Australian Broadcasting Corporation): A Darwin man has been fined $2,000 for filming himself masturbating while speeding along the Stuart Highway. The man is already in jail until August after pleading guilty to carrying cannabis in the car boot and two plants on the back seat...

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