Law Humor

Store Owner Told to Stop Taking Shoes From Shoplifters

Posted on June 02, 2008
The owner of Wagon Wheel Liquors in Durango, Colorado, says he will comply with a police order to stop taking shoes from people he catches shoplifting in his store. Gabe Fidanque said he was frustrated because calling the police did...

British Judges to Get New Attire; Fashion Critics Aghast

Posted on May 31, 2008
Earlier this month, a panel of British judges recommended a number of changes to the country's judicial-dress requirements, which have been roughly the same for hundreds of years. Wigs will no longer be worn in civil and family courts, and...

Wife Sues For Share of Formerly Secret Lotto Prize

Posted on May 30, 2008
On May 15, a judge ruled against a Miami woman who had sued her husband to get a share of a $600,000 lottery prize he won. Donna Campbell said that last summer she began to suspect that her husband, Arnim...

Gallery of Bad Disguises, #3: The Thong Bandits

Posted on May 30, 2008
Before too long there will be enough material of this kind to create a separate category or gallery of Bad Disguises. Previous candidates would include the Duct Tape Bandit and the Tree That Robbed a Bank, and to those we...

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UPDATE: Conviction in Hedgehog-Assault Case

Posted on May 29, 2008
William Singalargh, who as we learned in April had been accused of assaulting a 15-year-old boy with a hedgehog, was convicted this week on charges of "common assault" and "offensive behavior" and ordered to pay about $550 in fines. Singalargh...

Wind-Breaking Said to Be Last Straw in Employment Case

Posted on May 28, 2008
An employment tribunal in England has ruled that a woman's co-workers discriminated against her by using "laddish" behavior to maker her work life miserable, and that senior managers did not intervene. Indeed, one of the managers seems to have been...

Fourth Circuit Reinstates Dirty-Dancing Lawsuit (Again)

Posted on May 27, 2008
On April 30, the 4th Circuit reinstated a seven-year-old lawsuit against the city of Marshall, North Carolina, by a woman who was banned from the town dance hall for allegedly dancing in a "sexually provocative manner." The court ruled that...

Pirate Boards Macy's Flagship; Claims No Booty

Posted on May 26, 2008
On Memorial Day, police arrested a 29-year-old man in the Herald Square Macy's store in Manhattan after spotting him "brandishing" what was described as a curved, rusted, "pirate-style sword," presumably a cutlass. The report also used the word "carrying," although...

Q: Does a Criminal Defendant Forfeit His Right to Counsel by Punching Said Counsel in the Face?

Posted on May 23, 2008
A: Yes. Or, as one report put it, "[t]he Minnesota Court of Appeals . . . [has ruled] that a defendant gives up his right to a court-appointed lawyer when he beats up the one he has." In State of...

Ape Appeals

Posted on May 23, 2008
As expected, Matthew Pan (or his handlers, depending on how you view this story), has appealed to the European Court of Human Rights. You may recall that Pan is a chimpanzee currently residing in Austria. An animal-rights group took his...

Congress Forgets Part of Farm Bill

Posted on May 22, 2008
The U.S. Congress, which some of you may remember as a third branch of government, roused itself this week to override President Bush's veto of a popular farm bill. That was the plan, at least, until somebody noticed that they...

Arizona Considering Bill That Would Punish "Dissent" in Public Schools

Posted on May 20, 2008
I'm starting to think it is the purpose of a house of representatives (using lower-case there to mean, generically, that half of a bicameral legislature, not a specific house that happens to be full of representatives) to pass utterly stupid...

153rd Time is the Charm for Frequent Arrestee

Posted on May 19, 2008
Although Paul Baldwin was charged only with stealing a can of beer (retail value: $1.99), on May 19 a judge in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, set his bail at $10,000. This may have something to do with the fact that this...

Your Dog's Body Damaged My Car, Says Alleged Creep

Posted on May 17, 2008
"I have complete compassion for them," said Jeffery Ely about the family he sued after killing their dog. Ely had been driving at night on January 4 when Nikki Munthe's dog, Fester, a miniature pinscher, ran out into the road...

Firearms Instructor Teaches Students to Unload Guns Used for Firearms Instruction

Posted on May 16, 2008
Accounts differed of the incident on May 3 in which Dave Hansen, police chief of Riverdale, Utah, managed to shoot himself while teaching a gun-safety class. Two of Hansen's students, Bart Ulm and Lewis Walker, claimed they had been concerned...

More Lessons in Avoiding Jury Duty

Posted on May 15, 2008
Thankfully, the Chicago Tribune is providing "gavel-to-gavel" coverage of the R. Kelly trial in Cook County, and though this trial will probably teach us many important lessons, the first of them has to do with jury service. Reporter Stacy St....

Man Who Attacked Founder of Jedi Church Gets Suspended Sentence

Posted on May 15, 2008
After a hearing on May 14, 27-year-old Arwel Hughes was sentenced to two months in jail (suspended), a light punishment for one who turned to the Dark Side. Hughes was arrested in March after he assaulted Barney and Michael Jones,...

JetBlue Sued by Man Forced to Ride in Lavatory

Posted on May 14, 2008
Numerous sources reported recently on a lawsuit filed by Gokhan Mutlu, a gentleman who alleges that Jet Blue employees deprived him of his original seat during a cross-country flight and forced him to use the lavatory toilet seat instead. Pro:...

Judge Finds Alleged Indian Tribe to Be "Complete Sham"

Posted on May 13, 2008
On May 6, a federal judge in Utah ruled that a group calling itself the "Wampanoag Nation" was not a branch of the recognized Native American tribe of that name, but instead was a sham organization set up to further...

Knife-Purchasers Must Register, Says Chinese Government

Posted on May 12, 2008
China's Ministry of Public Security, in full public-securing mode as the Olympic Games approach, has told citizens that anyone buying "potentially deadly knives" must now register with the state. According to the government, "potentially deadly knives" include switchblades, knives with...

Judge Who Lost Pants Wants Job Back

Posted on May 09, 2008
In what is certainly welcome news for amateur legal humorists everywhere, Roy Pearson has filed another lawsuit. As you may recall (see, e.g., "Judge Drops Pants; Suit Still On," Lowering the Bar (June 6, 2007)), Pearson was formerly Judge Pearson,...

Claim Alleges Trip Ruined by Dung

Posted on May 09, 2008
A New York woman who says a family trip to Connecticut was ruined when her child stepped in dog feces has filed a claim against the city they were visiting. Kelly DeBrocky says that she and her family were planning...

Bear in Prison

Posted on May 08, 2008
Despite that title, this is not the bear from "Bear Convicted," a March item that had to do with a bear prosecuted in Macedonia for stealing from a beekeeper. That bear is still at large, as you would know if...

Oregon Says Its Laws Are Copyrighted, Can't Be Published

Posted on May 07, 2008
A battle has been going on for about three weeks now between the state of Oregon, which has laws, and some legal websites that have been publishing those laws. Oregon is insisting that they not do so. Justia.com, for example,...

Probation May Be Revoked for Sharing

Posted on May 06, 2008
A judge in Vinton County, Ohio, has been asked to revoke probation for Timothy Caudill and send him to prison for nine months. The offense: sharing a Little Debbie snack cake without permission. At the time of the infraction, Caudill...

Droopy-Pants Law Fails in Louisiana; Similar Measure Gutted in Florida

Posted on May 05, 2008
On April 22, a bill that would have ended the scourge of droopy pants throughout Louisiana failed in the state senate. This was lamented by the bill's sponsor, Sen. Derrick Shepherd (D-New Orleans), who said the state should take a...

Everything's Bigger in Texas -- Including Bad Checks

Posted on May 02, 2008
Saying he was planning to start a record company, Charles Fuller tried to cash a large check at a bank in Fort Worth last week. Problems with this story included: One does not normally start record companies using cash; and...

Hand-Held Lie Detector Deployed: Now We're Completely Safe

Posted on May 01, 2008
If you have been taking any comfort in the idea that our strategy in the War on Terror can't get any worse, cut it out. MSNBC reported recently that the Pentagon has spent $2.5 million to date on a project...

UPDATE: "Duct Tape Bandit" Pleads Guilty

Posted on April 30, 2008
The improbably named "Kasey G. Kazee," better known to history as the "Duct Tape Bandit," pleaded guilty on April 29 to robbing a Kentucky liquor store. The robbery failed despite the fact that Kazee had carefully prepared for the robbery...

New Video Questions Dupre's Claim

Posted on April 30, 2008
Welcome back to the case that poses the following legal questions, among others: Is it possible to have less than zero credibility, and What happens if both parties to a lawsuit suffer from that handicap? I think the answer to...

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