Law Humor

On Memorial Day, police arrested a 29-year-old man in the Herald Square Macy's store in Manhattan after spotting him "brandishing" what was described as a curved, rusted, "pirate-style sword," presumably a cutlass.

The report also used the word "carrying," although I think it would be almost impossible to just carry a cutlass (especially through Macy's) without actually "brandishing" or even waving it around.  (Taste cold steel, mannequin!  Arrrr!)  But the distinction, if any, won't help the accused pirate, who is charged simply with criminal possession of a weapon.

The suspect, Lawrence Jackson, did not dispute that he was carrying a rusty metal sword, nor did he try to claim he was "just holding it" for someone else, as you often see in these cases.  In fact, Jackson had a perfectly reasonable explanation:  "He told police he was carrying the sword because he is a member of a kickball team whose players often wear pirate-themed costumes."

Now, that is either true, and inexplicable, or it is possibly the worst explanation any criminal has ever come up with.  I really can't decide which would be better.

Link: CBS News