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Law Humor

: Lowering the Bar

Gallery of Bad Disguises, #3: The Thong Bandits

By Kevin Underhill

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Before too long there will be enough material of this kind to create a separate category or gallery of Bad Disguises.  Previous candidates would include the Duct Tape Bandit and the Tree That Robbed a Bank, and to those we can now add the Thong Bandits of Colorado.

Thong_bandits Police in Arvada, a suburb of Denver, released surveillance-camera images this week showing two men robbing a Diamond Shamrock gas station on May 16.  The report begins: "Brightly colored women's thong underwear disguised the identities of two men during a robbery earlier this month," but it really didn't.  Gentlemen, please be advised that if an underpants disguise is to be deployed, boxers or perhaps a boxer-brief of some sort would be recommended for maximum coverage.

One of the suspects helpfully wore a short-sleeved shirt so that the distinctive tattoos on his arms could be clearly seen, although he did successfully cover his lips and the tip of his nose by means of the thong mask.  Police described that suspect as about 5-foot-9 and 190 pounds with short black hair, and noted that "[h]e also has short black hair and has a cross tattoo about six inches long on his right upper arm and a tribal tattoo on his left upper arm.  He was last seen wearing a blue thong over his face."

Presumably he will have removed it by now, but just in case, anyone who sees such a man or has other information about the crime is asked to call the Arvada Police Department.

Link: Denver Post

Full post as published by Lowering the Bar on May 30, 2008 (boomark / email).

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