Law Humor

Free Advice: Service-Animal Claim Is Stronger If Animal Not Dressed as Pirate

Posted on March 04, 2011
Joan Newberger, 66, and her caretaker, James Poole, said they and the four monkeys were dressed as pirates on Bourbon Street during the weekend when police and wildlife agents approached them and seized the small primates . . . ....

Insurer Sues FBI for Crashing Ferrari

Posted on March 03, 2011
I guess in this case FBI stands for "Ferris Bueller Imitators." According to the Detroit News, a Michigan insurance company has sued the FBI and the Department of Justice alleging that one of its agents totaled a $750,000 Ferrari during...

GWU Law Students' Ode to the "Gunner"

Posted on March 03, 2011
This was created by students at George Washington University's law school for their annual law "revue," and it's pretty damn good. Language warning for those who dislike F-bombs; volume warning for those who are fine with them but may be...

Illinois Golfer Not Liable for Head Shot

Posted on March 02, 2011
Bad golfers can now add Illinois to the list of states where they are relatively safe from liability for damage caused by lousy tee shots and/or failure to yell "Fore." (Hawaii and New York are also on that list.) In...

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Woman Argues Google Maps Was Her Personal Advisor

Posted on March 01, 2011
According to On Point News, the woman who alleged she was hit by a car after following walking directions provided by Google Maps is now arguing that Google can be held liable because it provided her with "individual advice." As...

Note: Just Because You Only Grabbed the Wheel Doesn't Mean You Weren't "Driving"

Posted on March 01, 2011
Here's another argument people can probably stop trying. The California Court of Appeal ruled on February 25 that a drunken passenger who caused a car to crash could be convicted of "driving under the influence." The defendant had argued that...

Fire in the Hole! More About Ear Candling

Posted on February 28, 2011
I briefly reported last month that a woman had filed a lawsuit alleging she was injured by hot candle wax that got into her ear, although it turned out it got there because she paid somebody to stick a lit...

Assorted Stupidity #14

Posted on February 25, 2011
"[I]t is not up to this Hearing Officer to decide whether in fact Respondent was or was not truly possessed by and speaking for [her client's] deceased wife," wrote the officer hearing this remarkable legal-ethics case. He did go ahead...

Judge Rules Pizza Slice Is a "Solid Object"

Posted on February 22, 2011
A Pennsylvania statute provides: Whoever intentionally throws, shoots, drops or causes to be propelled any solid object, from an overpass or any other location adjacent to or on a roadway, onto or toward said roadway shall be guilty of a...

"Aisle Hogs" Fight for Position at State of the Union

Posted on February 20, 2011
It was nice that at least some Democrats and Republicans chose to sit together during the State of the Union address, but apparently there were ferocious seating-arrangement battles going on behind the scenes. According to the Huffington Post, this happens...

In Defense of the Swingline 747

Posted on February 18, 2011
I was appalled to see that the people at the normally very good site Big Legal Brain have posted a less-than-perfect review of the Swingline 747 stapler -- -- which, as you can see here, is the model I use....

Prosecutors Taking a Second Look at the Red Bull Defense

Posted on February 17, 2011
It appears that prosecutors in Pinellas County, Florida, may have changed their minds about accepting the Red Bull defense being asserted by Stephen Coffeen. As you may recall, Coffeen is the gentleman claiming that a combination of sleep deprivation and...

"King of the World" Tased

Posted on February 17, 2011
"I'm king of the world!" the man shouted as he sprinted down the street. That's usually going to turn out funny unless the shouter is in fact King of the World at the time, in which case it might still...

TIP: To Avoid Seat-Belt Ticket, Seat Belt Must Be Attached to Car

Posted on February 16, 2011
As a great man once said, it's a fine line between stupid and clever. On February 10, the Kansas City Star reported on the failure of a Wichita man's strategy for avoiding tickets for failing to wear a seat belt...

"Twilight" Fan Admits She Lied About Vampire Attack

Posted on February 15, 2011
One more tale of forbidden love and then we say farewell to Valentine's Day for another year. According to Florida police, a 15-year-old girl has admitted she was not attacked and bitten while she was jogging, as she initially told...

Billion-Year Contracts and Musical Chairs

Posted on February 14, 2011
Ironically, Scientologists declare that they are "of sound mind" when they sign this contract agreeing to commit to the group's "Sea Organization" for the next one billion years. According to this new article in the New Yorker, they also do...

Happy Valentine's Day?

Posted on February 14, 2011
In honor of this semi-holiday, disliked by many and inducing feigned enjoyment in half of the remainder, here are a few past tales of love and the law, most but not all from the "Domestic Law" category here. Actually, now...

Have You Been Injured by "Spider-Man: the Musical"? Call Now

Posted on February 14, 2011
Via Hollywood Reporter, Esq., Saturday Night Live's ad for a law firm that specializes in representing people injured by the "Spider-Man" musical.

It's Not Your Fault You Microwaved the Cat

Posted on February 10, 2011
"It's not unusual for an elderly person like yourself to think of drying her cat in the microwave. Therefore, it's clearly the fault of the manufacturer for not adding a proper warning." A Japanese view of America, via Overlawyered, Siouxsie...

Court: Baseball Fan Did Not Assume Risk Associated With Hot Dog Toss

Posted on February 10, 2011
On Point News reports that a Missouri judge has refused to dismiss a claim against the Kansas City Royals by a man who alleges the Royals' mascot, Sluggerrr, hit him with a hot dog in 2009. See "Dog-Flinging Mascot Blamed...

Good Reason to Kill #13: Disputed Your Cow-Milking Experience

Posted on February 09, 2011
"An apparent dispute over cow milking methodology in Fort Pierce escalated into a foot chase with a machete, sending a 61-year-old man to jail, according to recently released records," begins this report from wptv.com in Florida. As so often happens....

Red Bull Is Part of Insanity Defense in Florida Case

Posted on February 09, 2011
Given that some people have been demanding warning labels on soft drinks on the theory that people don't know sugar can make you fat, I assume there will now be a similar call for warnings on energy drinks. Not about...

Video: Grandma Defeats Six Crooks With Handbag

Posted on February 08, 2011
This is fantastic. At first she seems to have thought it was a fight, and headed over to break it up or at least get a closer look. But "[w]hen I got closer to them I realised it was a...

Alan Simpson on the Deficit: "Give Them the Green Weenie"

Posted on February 08, 2011
Alan Simpson, who was a senator from Wyoming and more recently a co-chair of the president's deficit commission (don't remember that? Neither does anybody in Washington) is renowned for his "colorful language." He reinforced that reputation recently by saying this...

Man Loses Cockfight

Posted on February 08, 2011
This is what you might call "payback," although in California people tend to call it "karma." A California man attending a cockfight in Tulare County died on January 30 after one of the birds stabbed him in the leg. The...

UPDATE: City to Legitimize Mystery Stop Signs, Report Says

Posted on February 07, 2011
As I noted last year, the city of Cranston, Rhode Island, had a puzzler on its hands after it came to the city's attention that there were hundreds of unauthorized stop signs on its streets, installed by a person or...

Sarah PalinTM Having Trouble With Registration

Posted on February 05, 2011
I suppose it should not be surprising that Sarah Palin has filed an application to register her name as a trademark. But having learned that, it is not at all surprising that the application was rejected because she forgot to...

Iraqi Treasury Gets Partial Refund on Magic Wands

Posted on February 04, 2011
On Wednesday, the Iraqi Interior Ministry reportedly said it had recovered the equivalent of $20 million that the government lost due to corruption. Unfortunately, that's only a fraction of the amount it lost to people who duped it into buying...

Man Points Finger at Brain in Parking-Rage Incident

Posted on February 03, 2011
A British man who attacked a car with an axe and then set fire to it blamed his brain for the incident, according to a January 27 report in the Herald Express. The brain's alleged involvement was especially surprising because...

Immigration Officer Puts Wife on the No-Fly List

Posted on February 02, 2011
I guess this is one way to save money on a divorce. According to the Daily Mail Online, an immigration officer who worked for the UK Border Agency managed to get his wife out of his hair for three years...

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