Law Humor

2010 Ig Nobel Prize Winners Announced

Posted on October 15, 2010
I'm a big fan of the Ig Nobel Prize(s), awarded every year by the editors of the magazine Annals of Improbable Research. At least a few of this year's winners conducted research that might be of some distant relevance to...

"Rich Whitey" Laments Electronic-Voting-Machine Typo

Posted on October 15, 2010
Occasionally people will tell me typos aren't that big of a deal. I know at least one person who thinks otherwise. Due to an unfortunate typographical error, Green Party gubernatorial candidate Rich Whitney will appear as "Rich Whitey" on electronic-voting...

Warning: Open Windows Can Be Hazardous

Posted on October 14, 2010
They can even be hazardous, as the label discussed here implies, if they are only eight inches wide and are located seven feet above the floor. Granted, an infant might come along with a seven-foot ladder and end up plummeting...

Town's Lawn-Mowing Requirement Held Not Equivalent to Slavery

Posted on October 14, 2010
The excellent Legal Blog Watch reports today that the Georgia Supreme Court has rejected an argument that an ordinance requiring citizens to mow their lawns constituted an imposition of "involuntary servitude" of the kind prohibited by the 13th Amendment to...

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"Naked Cowboy" Announces Presidential Bid

Posted on October 13, 2010
Well, why not. Here's just a partial list of what this election year has offered so far (and it's only mid-October): An attack ad run by a candidate for coroner in Orleans Parish portrayed the incumbent coroner as Dr. Frankenstein....

Two Ways to Get the President's Attention

Posted on October 13, 2010
Author's Note: Alternative titles you may prefer, depending on your political persuasion: Somebody Finally Throws the Book at Obama or Public Still Eager to Donate to Democrats This blog makes an effort to be non-partisan, so please select from the...

One Possibly Unforeseen Risk of Escaping While Handcuffed

Posted on October 12, 2010
-- is that you might also get charged with stealing the handcuffs. According to the Longview (Wash.) Daily News, a man who was arrested on October 1 managed to escape while being taken to jail, after he was able to...

Questions Not to Ask Police, #47

Posted on October 11, 2010
"Are there any warrants out for my arrest?" is one question that you should consider not asking the police, or at least not asking in person. It's just awkward if the answer turns out to be yes. This happened in...

No Repeat for Obama on Nobel Prize

Posted on October 10, 2010
I?m not really sure how many Nobel Prizes they give out, but so far at least the committee has snubbed President Obama despite the fact that it voted to award him one during his very first year in office. See...

Outlaw Finally Pleads Guilty to Sucking

Posted on October 08, 2010
Entertainment Weekly reports that NBC has halted production on Outlaw, its new legal drama starring Jimmy Smits as a conservative but hard-partying Supreme Court justice with a gambling problem who resigns from the Court to go into private practice as...

Hotel Sued After Employee Caught Wearing Guest's Underwear

Posted on October 07, 2010
Opinions vary about how much you should tip hotel employees, but in this situation, there is general agreement that it should be zero dollars. A Los Angeles woman is suing the Hyatt hotel chain, alleging that she returned to her...

Another Reason Not to Wear Sagging Pants: They Won't Stop Bullets

Posted on October 06, 2010
A couple of weeks ago, I made fun of the city council of Dublin, Georgia, which had passed a bill banning pants that sag more than three inches below the "crest of the ilium," exposing the buttocks or underwear, and...

Tiny Dress, Big Award

Posted on October 06, 2010
Geisy Arruda, a 21-year-old Brazilian woman who was kicked out of her university for wearing a dress that officials considered "too short," has been awarded $23,600 in compensation by a local court. Officials at Bandeirante University, a private school in...

Pirate Loose in Law Firm

Posted on October 05, 2010
Or at least that's what I infer from this email, forwarded to me today from a Midwestern law firm by one who wishes to remain anonymous: From: [redacted] Sent: Tuesday, October 05, 2010 11:02 AM To: [redacted] Subject: Found -...

Illiterate Clown Elected to Congress

Posted on October 04, 2010
In a development that must be raising the spirits of many American candidates, an inexperienced, illiterate clown has won a landslide victory in Brazil's congressional elections. Francisco Everardo Oliveira Silva, whose clown name is Tiririca ("Grumpy"), got more than 1...

Seventh Circuit: Plaintiff Unhappy With Search Results Can't Sue Yahoo!

Posted on October 03, 2010
"Like many," this opinion begins, "Beverly Stayart was curious about what she would find when she put her name into a search engine." And like many, Beverly Stayart was not happy with what she found. Unlike anybody else, however, Beverly...

Update: Caffeine/Sleep-Deprivation Defense Fails

Posted on October 01, 2010
Reports last week were that the lawyer for Woody Will Smith would argue that Smith was not responsible for murdering his wife because he had done so while suffering from a "brief psychosis" due to lack of sleep and heavy...

Headline of the Day: "Man Says Weed in Buttocks Is His, Cocaine's Not"

Posted on October 01, 2010
This explanation seems problematic for a number of reasons. But it's the one a 25-year-old man gave officers who stopped him for speeding in Manatee County, Florida, on Wednesday. The officers claimed that they smelled marijuana during the stop, and....

Good Reason to Kill # 10: Posted "Ugly Baby" Comment on Facebook

Posted on September 30, 2010
If you need another reason not to use Facebook, here's one: your "friends" may not stay safely on the Internet. Here's another: some of them may be really touchy about their ugly babies. Obviously, all new babies are ugly. I...

Officials Uncertain Whether National Soccer Team Was Fake or Just Untalented

Posted on September 30, 2010
Bahrain's national soccer team felt pretty good about its easy 3-0 win last week over the national team from Togo. The match was more lopsided than the score indicates; they actually scored eight times but five of the goals were...

Please Consider Nominating Lowering the Bar, If You Like It, for the ABA's Top 100 List

Posted on September 30, 2010
If you have a minute and are so inclined (assuming you are not just here to find out how to sue me), I would greatly appreciate it if you'd consider nominating Lowering the Bar for the humor category of the...

Whole Foods Selling Fish It Sort of Doesn't Want You to Buy

Posted on September 29, 2010
The Whole Foods grocery chain has reportedly begun putting warning labels on some of the seafood it sells suggesting that customers may not want to buy it. Not because there is any risk to consumers, apparently, but because that species...

Stephen Colbert Testifies Before Congress

Posted on September 29, 2010
If you didn't have a chance to see Stephen Colbert's testimony before Congress (specifically, the House Judiciary Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship & Border Security) about the plight of migrant workers, here's his opening statement. The video of the full hearing...

Judge Hands Out Condoms Hidden in Acorns

Posted on September 29, 2010
Today's inexplicable-misconduct story involves a Pennsylvania judge who has been charged with disorderly conduct for hiding condoms inside acorns and handing them out to unsuspecting women on the grounds of the state capitol. Confronted by capitol police, the judge admitted...

Elmo Testifies Before Congress

Posted on September 29, 2010
There is no shortage of news items on Stephen Colbert's testimony before Congress, and as many of these stories note, some Democrats also did not think that having a comedian testify was such a great idea. (And some Democrats are...

Poster for Anti-Infringement Campaign Was Copied, Designer Admits

Posted on September 28, 2010
Taiwan's Intellectual Property Office said it had disqualified Wu Chih-wei and asked him to return the medal and prize money he got for winning the "Protect Copyright" poster-design contest, after Wu admitted he had copied the design he submitted. "The...

Tip: Covering Self in Paint Will Not Deter Taser Use

Posted on September 28, 2010
A man in Cheyenne, Wyoming, expected police to have Tasers when they showed up at his house on a domestic violence call, so he was ready for them. When they arrived, they were confronted with a man covered in white...

On Lawmanship

Posted on September 27, 2010
I just finished a book that I recommend very highly: On Lawmanship by Bullstrode Whitelocke, K.C. Bullstrode, who I consider a close personal friend even though he is fictional, is the greatest practitioner of the law Australia has yet produced,...

Witch Regulation Moving Forward In Russia

Posted on September 24, 2010
The question of whether Russia or Romania has more powerful witches has now been settled, or at least the question of which set of witches has more powerful lobbyists. Just a couple of weeks ago, Romanian lawmakers refused to pass...

From the Docket: Satan's Employees, Dangerous Doors

Posted on September 24, 2010
These are third-party summaries of a couple of cases filed recently in San Francisco Superior Court. This first one seems to involve a party admission of the kind you just don't get that often: Rabbi C.I.M. Gruber v. Mark Hopkins...

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