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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

A Couple Strange Louisiana Laws - Silly String & Butt Cleft

Posted on June 17, 2008
These laws are from the Code of Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana: Sec. 19-12. Silly String sales restrictions. ... (b) It shall be unlawful for any person to sell any silly string, or its equivalent as defined herein, within three hundred (300) feet of any parade route within the parish on any day a parade is scheduled...

A Most Unusual Weapon

Posted on June 16, 2008
I lack the imagination to make these stories up. Seems that young Ms. Marin (age 18) was picked up for trying to pinch a pair of shoes at a London store called Lizard. While the police were detaining her, she managed to secure her weapon - her right breast - and let loose with a stream of milk at the officer...

Big Brother And The "Legal Weed" Bottle Cap

Posted on June 15, 2008
So Vaune Dillmann is a retired policeman who owns the Mt. Shasta Brewing Co. in Weed, California. (The town was named after lumber baron and state senator Abner Weed.) The bottle caps of his beer read "Try Legal Weed" (surrounded by "A Friend in Weed Is a Friend Indeed...

So You Want To Be A Doctor?

Posted on June 14, 2008
While reviewing doctor disciplinary cases, I came across this incredible story. In 1976, Illinois pharmacist Gerald Barnbaum had his license revoked for Medicaid fraud. He moved to California, and legally changed his name to Gerald Barnes, a prominent doctor whose name he found in a medical directory...

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Pot Yes, Tobacco No?

Posted on June 13, 2008
It's true. Starting in July, Dutch folks will not be allowed to smoke cigarettes in bars, restaurants and cafes, including in the coffee shops famous for selling soft drugs. But, and this is a big "but," smoking marijuana or hashish will still be legal! You can read more in this Spiegel Online article.

Obscenity Trial Judge's Porn Website

Posted on June 12, 2008
Alex Kozinski, Chief Judge of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, is one of the most important judges in the United States. (The 9th Circuit includes California, Washington, Nevada, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Arizona, Alaska and Hawaii.) As fate would have it, Judge Kozinski is presiding over the trial of Ira Isaacs, a filmmaker based in Los Angeles, who is accused of distributing criminally obscene sexual-fetish videos depicting bestiality and defecation...

Coincidence? What Do You Think?

Posted on June 11, 2008
I'm sure you've heard that the California Supreme Court overturned the state's ban on same-sex marriages. So June 17 is the first day that same-sex couples can legally marry in California. Well, as reported by the Los Angeles Times, ... the Kern County [California] clerk will stop performing all civil marriages before June 17 ...

A Very Cooperative Suspect

Posted on June 10, 2008
Perhaps Tennessee resident David Dewayne Sanders is not aware of his constitutional right not to incriminate himself. As reported in The Murfreesboro Post, [Detective] Beene approached Sanders last week on South University Street and asked if he had any drugs on him...

If You're Going To Turn Yourself In ...

Posted on June 09, 2008
... make sure you're not drunk! This advice comes to late for William Olson, age 38, of Great Falls, Montana. He drove himself to the Highway Patrol, and turned himself in. For what? Per the Great Falls Tribune: According to charges, Olson was driving in a Toyota 4Runner with his four children, who range in age from 3 to 13, on Morony Dam Road on Sunday...

Oh No You Didn't Just Ban ...

Posted on June 08, 2008
... party balloons! The California Senate passed a bill banning helium-filled, metallic party balloons. Why? Per the AP, Utility company officials blame fly-away balloons for shorting out power lines and causing hundreds of blackouts in recent years...

What Goes Around ...

Posted on June 07, 2008
... every now and then, comes around. This is one of those times. Remember the New York judge who jailed 46 people because a cell phone went off in his courtroom? (If you don't, click here. It was outrageous.) Guess what happened to him (Niagra Falls City Court Judge Robert M...

Hey Judge In Wal-Mart DEATH Case - You're NOT Funny

Posted on June 06, 2008
Yes, it's a wrongful death case. William H. Waggoner, age 88, died a month after he was hit by an automatic door at a Wal-Mart in Marble Falls, Texas. Is it me, or is a case like this an inappropriate forum to try to be funny? Judge James Nowlin tried ...

That Nosy Swedish National Tax Board Again!

Posted on June 05, 2008
Remember the story about the Swedish parents who wanted to name their daughter "Metallica?" Or the Swedish transvestite who wanted to change his name to Pia? Add to that list the Swedish couple who wanted to name their daughter "Elvis." Fuhgeddaboutit, said the National Tax Board...

Life Imitating Art?

Posted on June 04, 2008
Two friends, Robert John (age 20) and Carl Thorpe (age 26) ran into each other in town. They had a few drinks and returned to Mr. Thorpe's apartment to watch a DVD "featuring football [soccer] hooligans," as reported by the BBC. [The DVD] featured footage of fans biting each other...

If You Curse In Saudi Arabia, You Better Hope You Get A "Disbelief" Judge, Not A "Heresy" Judge

Posted on June 03, 2008
Turkish barber Sabri Bogday has been sentenced to beheading for "using God's name in vain," as reported by the Los Angeles Times. It happened "during an argument with a neighbor, who later complained to police." Why is the judge you get so important? The [Arab News Daily] quoted a lawyer as saying: "Some judges consider it heresy and infidelity, and say that the accused cannot repent and so faces the death penalty...

The Next Time You Think You Heard Something In The Closet ...

Posted on June 02, 2008
... you will probably think about this story. Over several months, this guy noticed that some of his food kept disappearing. So he had cameras that transmitted images to his cell phone installed. As reported by the AP: One of the cameras captured someone moving inside his home Thursday after he had left, and he called police believing it was a burglar...

Your Honor Said What?

Posted on June 01, 2008
Judges have to put up with a lot of crap, day in and day out, and deal with it, on the record. I'm not sure how long I would last. Judge Mark Chow of King County, Washington made it from 1991 until just recently. As reported in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer: Chow was presiding in a King County Jail courtroom Jan...

Another Bizarre Fetish ...

Posted on May 31, 2008
As reported in The Cincinnati Enquirer: A Columbus man has been charged with crawling under a table at a library on University of Cincinnati's campus, spraying a substance from a syringe on a woman's shoes and then photographing them. Dwight Pannell, 43, was booked into the county jail Wednesday on charges of voyeurism, assault and criminal trespass...

The Pettiest Of Petty Criminals?

Posted on May 30, 2008
Oh yes she did. Stefanie Woods stole a 9-year-old girl scout's cookie money! And, she just pleaded "no contest" to skipping out on a $25.84 bill at Denny's. As reported by WPBF-TV, here's what Ms. Woods had to say for herself about the Denny's case: "All I can say is that, I'm really sorry, and Denny's was not my fault, even though you guys don't want to believe me...

The Reluctant Bicycle Commuter?

Posted on May 29, 2008
You might think that the government official who represents the Motor Accidents Authority, and is also the Education Minister for over 1 million kids in New South Wales, Australia, is biking to work to set a good example. You would be wrong. Minister John Della Bosca is riding his bicycle to work because he has gotten seven speeding tickets, from the same camera, in the same place...

10 Years In The Clink - And Lifelong Embarrassment

Posted on May 28, 2008
He will be forever known as the "duct tape bandit." Why? Kasey Kazee, unarmed, entered a liquor store in eastern Kentucky - with his head and face almost completely covered in duct tape. The manager tackled him and held him until the police arrived...

Death Sentence For Masturbating?

Posted on May 27, 2008
Okay, so I'm overstating it a little bit. Sanchez Brumfield was charged with killing a man in Louisiana. He's being tried for first-degree murder. While in a holding cell in the courthouse basement, he was seen masturbating by the deputies who were monitoring him by camera...

Best Notice of Appeal - Ever

Posted on May 26, 2008
While Mr. Swinyer was in jail, [former] correctional officer Cole admitted that he assaulted Mr. Swinyer by grabbing him around the throat and shoving him against the wall in response to - what else - a "donut" comment (really). Mr. Swinyer filed suit and litigated the case himself...

Boared Thief Gives Police A Hand

Posted on May 25, 2008
An 18-year-old stole an SUV, but couldn't shake the cops. So he ditched it, and ran into the woods. Bad move, because he ran into a bunch of wild boars. The boars were pissed, scaring the thief so much that he started yelling for help. The police gladly responded, and arrested the young man...

Not The Best Time To Be Calling 911 ...

Posted on May 24, 2008
So the Largo, Florida police respond to a call about a problem at a bar, and they find Dana Shelton. But there's no problem, and they tell Shelton to move along. Unless you are completely plastered, you realize this is a good thing. Not Shelton...

The $341,000 Fly?

Posted on May 23, 2008
Just like the McDonald's coffee case (PLEASE click here to read the incredible truth about that case, not the BS put out by business groups and the insurance companies), I'm sure that, though the facts are bizarre, Mr. Mustapha's injuries are real and quite serious...

This Diet Sucks!

Posted on May 22, 2008
As a result of this diet, you've gone from 413 pounds to 308 pounds in 8 months. Awesome, right? Not according to much-lighter Broderick Lloyd Laswell. Not only is he not pleased, he filed suit against the responsible parties - his jailers in Benton County, Arkansas (the Sheriff and the Jail Captain)...

How Many Wives (And Kids) Is Enough?

Posted on May 21, 2008
For 57-year-old truck driver Mohamed Nor of Malaysia, 3 wives and 18 kids (ages 4 to 34) are not enough. So he is seeking the permission of the Syrariah High Court to marry a fourth women. And guess who has consented to the marriage? Wives 1,2 and 3...

This Kid Is In Some SERIOUS Trouble

Posted on May 20, 2008
It's 2:30 a.m. in Hartman, Arkansas. Do you know where your 12-year-old is? No worries. He's just drinking your beer, with his 10-year-old friend, then taking the truck out for a spin. Why? Per the AP, to find a girl they met at the rodeo! Here's what happened: The boys made it about 10 miles before the 12-year-old lost control of the truck...

As You Brag, So Shall You ...

Posted on May 19, 2008
... reap. A saying that will no doubt be heeded (even though I just made it up) by Jane Kodros, who was substitute teaching at Alton High School in St. Louis, Missouri when the brag bug bit. What did she brag about? Per the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: ...

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