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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

Judge Forces Parents To Paddle And Spank Their Kids?

Posted on August 15, 2008
Several parents have accused Cameron County (Texas) Justice of the Peace Gustavo "Gus" Garza of ordering them to paddle or spank their kids in court. Per The Brownsville Herald: This morning, [Judge] Limas will hear the request for a temporary restraining order against Garza first brought last week by Mary Vasquez and her husband Daniel Zurita, who filed a lawsuit against the justice of the peace, a former state district attorney and special prosecutor...

When Is A Strip Club Not A Strip Club?

Posted on August 14, 2008
In Hamburg, Iowa, the owner of Shotgun Geniez was charged with violating obscenity laws after a 17-year-old danced nude there. The defense? It's not a strip club. It's a theater, and is therefore exempt from Iowa's obscenity laws. The result? As reported in The Omaha World-Herald: "The evidence proved beyond a reasonable doubt Shotgun Geniez is primarily a strip club that features nude dancing...

Now THIS Is Speeding

Posted on August 13, 2008
130 MPH on a motorcycle! As if that's not bad enough, per Sky News, [Christopher O'Donovan] led police on a 23-mile high speed chase across the Wiltshire countryside, racing through villages and tracks and along several A-roads. Witnesses say up to 17 police vehicles pursued O'Donovan before the police helicopter took over the chase...

Free Porn?

Posted on August 12, 2008
How do you get free porn? Well, here's what a guy in Longmont, Colorado tried, as reported by The Longmont Times: ... the man provided a badge and a business card without a name, and told the clerks he was a detective with the Longmont Police Department?s ?age verification unit,? which does not exist...

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Yes, "Iron Man" Was Good, But Dude, Seriously ...

Posted on August 11, 2008
So 55-year-old Wyoming resident David Anthony Vaughn was enjoying "Iron Man" at the Eastridge Movies when the unthinkable occurred - the projector malfunctioned. Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! When Mr. Vaughan demanded a refund, he was offered a voucher to see another movie...

God Drops By A 7-Eleven

Posted on August 10, 2008
From the Police Blotter of the Daily Nexus, at the University of California, Santa Barbara: Sun., Aug. 2, 2:47 a.m. ? Officers working the late shift received a call concerning a man loitering at the 7-Eleven convenience store on Hollister Avenue...

This Granny Is Off Her Rocker

Posted on August 09, 2008
Of course grandparents spoil their grandchildren. Maybe a little candy from grandma, or some new clothes. But how about this: 54-year-old Brenda Bouschet was arrested after driving around a Marathon, Florida supermarket parking lot with her 3-year-old granddaughter sitting on the roof! Not to worry, said Ms...

That's No Way To Treat A Car Thief

Posted on August 08, 2008
As Police Cmdr. Kelly McMillin said: "you couldn t make up something stranger than this." So here's what happened, per knbc.com. Old Edward Bishop went and stole himself a pickup truck. Not so exciting, but ... ...while [Mr. Bishop was] sitting outside a convenience store, a man with a gun hopped in and ordered him to start driving...

Rockers Need Their Booze ...

Posted on August 07, 2008
Admittedly being a rocker is not your average profession. So, you would expect that, come tax time, they would claim some unusual business expenses, right? What about booze? Yup. As reported by UPI, a Swedish rocker ... tried to claim that because rockers drink a lot as part of their jobs, he should be allowed to import 12 gallons of spirits, 16 gallons of wine and 300 beers into Sweden without having to pay hefty import duties...

Never Douse Yourself With Gasoline ...

Posted on August 06, 2008
... and never toss a lighter to someone who has just doused himself with gasoline. Because if you do, charges of assisting suicide might await you, as they did a 30-year-old South Korean man. His girlfriend's distraught ex poured gasoline on himself, then stopped the couple, and threatened to kill himself...

Keep The Cat Away From This Guy

Posted on August 05, 2008
Warning to cats: the following story may be disturbing to your kittens. As reported by wcbstv.com:A man accused of forcing his 7-year-old daughter to stab the family cat by holding a knife in her hand has reached a plea agreement that would send him to prison for 18 months...

Illegal Butt Crack?

Posted on August 04, 2008
No, it's not another butt cleavage, low rider pants story. And actually, it was meth, not crack, that Brian James Verdoes snuck into jail. How was he caught? From the Worthington Daily Globe: While in the jail, Verdoes exhibited strange behavior, lying on the floor with his legs raised in the air...

You Outlawed Dancing?

Posted on August 03, 2008
Clearly they have not seen "Footloose," one of the best Kevin Bacon movies of all time. People, people, people. You can't stop dancing, as Kevin Bacon proved beyond any reasonable doubt. So who dares to question the lessons of "Footloose?" Well sir, the Indian State of Andhra Pradesh, that's who...

The Naked Tickling Burglar Milk Container Urinator?

Posted on August 02, 2008
This Thomas Blacine is one weird dude. (Though that is apparently urine in the photo below, it's not Mr. Blacine.) He has been breaking into women's homes, naked, and tickling them while they sleep. And videotaping them while they sleep. And peeing in at least one woman's milk container! Now he obviosly likes the way Linda Combs looks while she's sleeping - because he's hit her house twice! "I felt something on my leg and thought it was my cat and I look up and it was this naked guy, and he ran again," said Ms...

You Put A Video Screen Where In Your Car? And It Was Playing What?

Posted on August 01, 2008
A 16-year-old Indiana boy had a 15-inch video screen in the rear window of his car. And he was driving around, playing porn on it! He was busted, and appealed the conviction. The ruling? The Indiana Court of Appeals upheld the conviction. As explained by police Sgt...

This Guy Has To Be The World's Worst Driver

Posted on July 31, 2008
This will blow your mind. Alan Hogg, age 34, was convicted of drunk-driving - for the 13th time. He's also had 34 convictions for driving while disqualified. You may have guessed that this didn't happened in the United States. Dude would have been executed, at least...

No Bride Or Groom, And The Marriage Is Legal?

Posted on July 30, 2008
Only in Montana (really - it's the only state that allows it.) A couple can get married without either of them attending! It's called a double-proxy wedding. Per Montana Code Section 40-1-301: If a party to a marriage is unable to be present at the solemnization, he may authorize in writing a third person to act as his proxy...

Lie, And You'll Get By ...

Posted on July 29, 2008
Randy Miller always wanted to be a soldier. In 2004, he achieved that when he enlisted and was assigned to the elite 82nd Airborne at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. He volunteered to be a paratrooper, not the safest of choices. He made 22 jumps and, along the way, picked up two Army Achievement Medals and a Combat Infantryman Badge...

Employee Fired For Calling Cops On Shoplifter

Posted on July 28, 2008
Former Home Depot employee Michael Boyer probably couldn't believe it either. As reported in The Detroit News: "It sounds crazy but he was not fired for confronting or physically restraining a customer. He was terminated for involving professionals, the police, to catch someone with a shopping cart full of stolen goods," said Joey Niskar, Boyer's attorney...

Solitary For Hairy Boy?

Posted on July 27, 2008
Leave the poor boy alone! Grant Stranaghan, age 15, of Ulster, Northern Ireland, dared to attend school with his hair 2 inches below his collar. Gasp! Hair must not be below the collar (of course, this just applies to boys), so Grant was suspended for 3 days...

A Wicked Foster Mother

Posted on July 26, 2008
Ms. Eunice Spry may be the worst foster mother ever. Over the course of 20 years, here is some of the abuse she subjected three foster children to: She forced sticks down their throats.She starved the kids for a month, keeping them in a locked room, with no clothes...

You Named Your Kid What?

Posted on July 25, 2008
Let's just say that, suddenly, I'm much happier with "John." The name? "Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii." Really. Per the Taranaki Daily News: [Family Court Judge Rob Murfitt] was so worried about the effect on the girl [who was the subject of a custody hearing] he ordered her to be temporarily placed under the guardianship of the court so a suitable name could be chosen...

The Jeans That Keep On Giving?

Posted on July 24, 2008
At least that's how Gaylon Linn Murphy drew it up. As reported by The LA Times: Murphy, 52, apologized for his actions, which began when he tore a hole in his Gucci jeans during a visit to a Home Depot store. He then attempted to claim the retail price of the jeans, valued at between $500 and $1,500, from both the building supply store and a local restaurant where he had dined...

Where's My Ear?

Posted on July 23, 2008
So Peter Lees had recently broken up with his girlfriend, Gaile Stevens. She didn't take it well. Per the Ledbury Reporter, Mr. Lees was hosting a Pagan wedding party at his house when Ms. Stevens made an appearance. Per Mr. Lees: She was dressed as a comedy cleaning woman with rubber gloves and a broom and there was the most bizarre stuff coming out of her mouth...

A Long Strange Trip ...

Posted on July 22, 2008
So it was for Mark Pannell of Buffalo, New York. Here's how his day went, as reported by The Buffalo News: ... at about 8:45 a.m. Saturday ... deputies stopped Pannell's car on Grand Island Boulevard near Staley Road for what is being described as minor traffic violations...

What Happens When You Shoot A Bullet Through The Floor?

Posted on July 21, 2008
Bad things, at least in this instance in Brigantine, New Jersey. As reported in The Press of Atlantic City: ... Kevin Dorsey, 36, was visiting his girlfriend's West Brigantine Avenue apartment and had the .40-caliber handgun out when he somehow shot it into the floor at about 12:40 a...

No, You Can't Look In My Bag

Posted on July 20, 2008
Some of us, like Michael Righi (and me), have a real problem with groundless intrusions into our lives, even small ones. (If you're inclined to give up your rights because "you have nothing to hide, so what's the big deal," you might want to skip this one...

http://video.nbc5i.com/player/

Posted on July 19, 2008
http://video.nbc5i.com/player/?id=276294

Dad Picks Wrong Place To Rob

Posted on July 19, 2008
And so did husband, who was with dad. Why? Because daughter (and wife) Stephanie Martinez was working at the Pizza Patron in Denton, Texas when her father and husband tried to rob it! It also turned out to be a bad choice because one of the employees hit dad so hard he knocked him out...

A Graduation To Remember ...

Posted on July 18, 2008
Before you jump all over 19-year-old Calvin Morett [not pictured above - that dude is a "model"], remember that you were once 19 too. It seems Mr. Morett was not content to throw his cap in the air. Instead, he came to graduation dressed as a 6-foot penis, and sprayed students and school administrators with silly string (per The Albany Times Union)...

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