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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

One Hot Kitchen

Posted on September 14, 2008
Is f-bombing on TV okay in Australia? Hell yes. Chef Gordon Ramsay, of "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares" in Australia (and "Hell's Kitchen" in the U.S.) drops some serious f-bombs. Per The Daily Telegraph, ... celebrity chef Ramsay slipp[ed] in the f-word more than 80 times in one episode...

Flying Through The Air With A Dog On His Arm?

Posted on September 13, 2008
If it sounds really crazy, it's usually true. As reported by the Los Angeles Times: A 28-year-old man pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor count of animal cruelty in a bizarre New Year's Eve incident in which he leaped off the San Diego-Coronado Bridge with an Oceanside police dog biting his arm...

How Do You Miss A Cyst That Big?

Posted on September 12, 2008
Despite having examined the patient several times in 2002 and 2003, the doctor failed to notice that his patient had a 32 pound cyst! What did he tell her? Per the Otago [New Zealand] Daily Times online, that ... ...she was overweight and prescribed weight-loss pills...

What Not To Say If You Get Pulled Over For A DWI

Posted on September 11, 2008
Before I tell you what Christopher Lucero told New Mexico State Police Officer Kurtis Ward, just remember one thing: Lucero was drunk! As reported in The Albuquerque Journal, Lucero said he was weaving because: His passenger spilled his beer ... Doh! There's more...

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Where Are My Breasts?

Posted on September 10, 2008
Although you usually get what you pay for, that does not apply in this case. As reported by radio station CJAD: A 34-year-old St Constant woman has taken her doctor before the College of Physicians disciplinary committee for her more than $5 000 breast augmentation which only lasted four days...

Robber Left What Behind At The Crime Scene?

Posted on September 09, 2008
Our purse snatcher in Port St. Lucie, Florida, was a male cross-dresser, and apparently not a very good one. Why? He left his fake breast at the scene of the crime! And it was made with a condom filled with water, stuffed in a sock! The cops are dusting the condom for prints, and are doing DNA testing on 2 hairs they found on the sock...

Police To Limit Beer Consumption At Auto Race?

Posted on September 08, 2008
Outrageous, right? But true. As reported by UPI: Police in Australia have set what they describe as "very generous limits" for an upcoming auto race [The Bathurst 1000] The limit? ... no more than a case of beer a day for adults. Holy shiznit. You know Aussie's like their beer if a case a day is a "limit...

The Dangers Of Burping

Posted on September 07, 2008
How can a burp lead to an arrest? Here's how, as reported by The Australian: A 19-year-old man who allegedly burped in the face of administrative staff at a north Queensland police station has been charged with being a public nuisance. Innisfail District Police Inspector David Tucker said the man from Tully was at the local police station on Monday when he allegedly burped twice in a female worker's face...

Sick Man's "Best Friend"

Posted on September 06, 2008
What kind of person would sexually assault a dog, and make a boy watch? It's difficult to fathom. As reported by the Grand Junction Sentinel: Allegations that a former Grand Junction man had sex with a dog while forcing a 7-year-old boy to watch has astounded even the county?s top prosecutor...

What Happened To Personal Responsibility?

Posted on September 05, 2008
Darren Mirren, age 16, had an interview scheduled with a commercial cleaning company. He didn't show. When they called him, he said he didn't know how to find the office. So they rescheduled the interview. Again he didn't show. Prepare yourself for this: He didn't get the job! OMG...

Part Two: Library Book Returned, Or Jail?

Posted on September 04, 2008
Remember that post about the woman who refused to return the "obscene" library book she checked out? (Hint: It was yesterday's post.) So do you think she returned the book, or was sent to jail? Wrong. Neither. The city (Lewiston, Maine) decided not to pursue the matter any further...

Choice: Return Library Book Or Go To Jail

Posted on September 03, 2008
Maine resident JoAn Karkos said she'll take jail. And it's not because she likes the book, "It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health." It's because "she claims [it] violates the city's obscenity ordinance," per The Sun Journal...

Digging Up Corpse Why?

Posted on September 02, 2008
For a skull bong, at least in part. True, gruesome, and bizarre. Here's the story, as reported from Texas by The Tribune: A Kingwood teenager that took part in a grave desecration earlier this year, was sentenced Aug. 25 to 240 days in county jail for abuse of a corpse...

For Labor Day, A Story About A Working Man

Posted on September 01, 2008
Maybe Wayne Simpson should have just called the customer who he said gave him her cell phone number. Said Wayne: I honestly thought she fancied me. I certainly fancied her. She was gorgeous. She pulled up a chair very close to me and sat there staring into my eyes and fluttering her lashes...

An F-Bomber Himself?

Posted on August 31, 2008
Following up on yesterday's Legal Juice post, it appears that Captain Decker is an f-bomber himself, and an s-bomber! (The guy is probably an honorable public servant. Regular Juice readers know, though, that it irks the Juice when people make a big deal about so-called "bad" words...

Busted For Dropping The F-Bomb At Wal-Mart?

Posted on August 30, 2008
Sure enough. Kathyrn Fridge, a 28-year-old Texas mom, as reported in the Galveston County Daily News, went with her 2-year-old daughter and mother to Wal-Mart on Aug. 4 to buy batteries just in case Edouard left the county without electricity the following day...

Mayors Gone Mad?

Posted on August 29, 2008
Power corrupts, and absolute power ... So maybe Italian mayors don't have "absolute" power, but they recently obtained additional authority to enact new laws. Here are a few of them, as reported by Reuters: In Eraclea, near Venice, building sandcastles is now illegal In Capri, it is illegal to leave the beach area wearing a bikini...

Speeding, Kneeling Bird-Flipper

Posted on August 28, 2008
Australian Christian Marchesani has unambiguous contempt for speed cameras. Well, aside from the above photo, per the Australian Broadcasting Corporation: ... in January Marchesani sat on the fuel tank of his motorbike and rode past a speed camera twice with his thumbs up, reaching speeds of up to 130 kilometres an hour in a 70 zone...

Cheerleaders Can't Wear School-Issued Cheering Uniforms In School?

Posted on August 27, 2008
If you have eyes, you've no doubt noticed that skirts have gotten pretty short lately. Some schools, like Monroe High School in Ohio, are stemming the upward creep of the hemline by instituting dress codes. As reported by WLWT.com, skirts should be no shorter than 3 inches above the knee...

Mother Trucker! Homeowner's Association Just Says "No"

Posted on August 26, 2008
By now probably everyone has heard of a few stupid homeowner's association rules. But check this one out. Jim Greenwood lives in a suburb of Dallas, Texas called Frisco. More specifically, he lives in - hold your nose up, and speak nasally - Stonebriar Village...

A Real "Career Criminal" - Who Gets Bail?

Posted on August 25, 2008
A 26-year-old man in Northern Ireland has 104 convictions. His crimes include, per The Belfast Telegraph, ... a string of offences including burglary, theft, assault and other dishonesty type offences. And, per the police, ?every single time he was granted bail he broke the conditions...

Bad Doctor, Bad Boss

Posted on August 24, 2008
All doctors know that it is unethical, at a minimum, to have a sexual relationship with a patient. And that, at a minimum, there is an appearance of impropriety when a boss has a sexual relationship with a subordinate. Well, as reported by Radio New Zealand, a family doctor in New Zealand had a sexual relationship with a patient, who also worked for him...

Ignore Overdue Library Books At Your Peril

Posted on August 23, 2008
That's what Heidi Dalibor, of Grafton, Wisconsin did. The result? After ignoring letters from the library and a court notice, per The News Graphic: Still, the last thing she expected was a knock on her door by Grafton police. "They showed me a warrant they had for my arrest," said Dalibor, 20...

Condom Buyer's Remorse?

Posted on August 22, 2008
Things must not be going well if you get to a place where you need to return a box of condoms for a refund. And, when the clerk won't give you a refund, you call 911, claiming that you were robbed. As reported in the North Jersey Record, Kadien Jackson, 21, of Blauvelt, N...

What Happens If You Drive Down This Woman's Street?

Posted on August 21, 2008
Bad things. The woman is 56-year-old Mary Ann Lamkin. The street is Island Shore Drive in Hamburg Township, Michigan. You have been warned. As reported by livingstondaily.com: Mary Ann Lamkin, a former Hamburg Township trustee, already has two felony convictions for trying to impede traffic in her neighborhood and was on bond for new charges of disturbing the peace when she allegedly drove down the center of Island Shore Drive on July 31 as a neighbor came in the opposite direction...

Hooters Girl Sues Hooters Over Contest

Posted on August 20, 2008
Okay, this not a new case, but it's too wacky to omit on that basis. The waitresses at the Panama City Beach Hooters were told that whoever sold the most beer would get a new Toyota. As reported by the AP, [Hooters waitress Jodee] Berry, 27, won a beer sales contest in last May at the Panama City Beach Hooters...

Landlord Has Interesting Way Of Getting Attention of Delinquent Tenants

Posted on August 19, 2008
He crashed his Hummer into their - um, his - house! At about 2:30 a.m.! As reported by delawareonline: According to New Castle County police, the tenants, a 50-year-old man and his 53-year-old wife, awoke around 2:30 a.m. to a loud crash at their home on Lute Court in the Harmony Woods development in Ogletown...

Virginia Keeps Unconstitutional Laws On The Books

Posted on August 18, 2008
Though it certainly wouldn't be the case, I guess not many legislators are eager to appear to be in favor of sodomy, flag-burning, cohabitation, or unmarried couples having sex. That's probably why, per the Virginian-Pilot: The state code [still] declares it illegal for unmarried couples to have sex...

Shhh. Kids, You Can Get R-Rated Movies At The Library

Posted on August 17, 2008
At least they can in Lake County, Florida. I was just kidding about Jackass. It was Jackass Number Two that a kid who appeared to be about 11 rented! And the issue was born. The library board voted 9-0 against a policy that would prohibit kids under 17 from renting R-rated movies...

After A 30-Foot Fall, Kid Tasered Up To 19 Times

Posted on August 16, 2008
Really. This happened to 16-year-old Ozark, Missouri resident Mace Hutchinson. Here's the story, from ky3.com: A family from Branson wants answers about what happened to their son that left him hospitalized. Early Saturday morning, police found Mace Hutchinson, 16, underneath the Highway F overpass over U...

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