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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

Not The Best Solution For The Munchies

Posted on October 14, 2008
Okay, maybe going to McDonald's when you have the munchies isn't such a bad idea. But let's say, for whatever reason, you try to pay for your food with ... pot! I guess it didn't occur to the hungry gent to sell the weed, and then buy some food? As reported in the Treasure Coast Palm: A McDonald's cashier called 911 at 12:22 a...

Teacher Did What?

Posted on October 13, 2008
What did Canadian elementary school teacher Maria Pantalone do that resulted in her pleading guilty to assaulting a 12-year-old boy? Hint #1: She threw something at him. Hint #2: It was brown. Need another hint? Hint #3: It smells really, really bad...

Not Your Average Heist

Posted on October 12, 2008
A strange crime as reported in The Hartford Advocate: It's always surprising to see what lengths people will go to get away with petty crimes, even if it's for something as silly as ganking baby food. According to the Courant, 22-year-old Bristol resident Paul Bergeron allegedly tried lifting some of the instant baby formula Enfamil from a Shaw's supermarket on Sept...

Pet Shop Pappy

Posted on October 11, 2008

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Driving And Doing What?

Posted on October 10, 2008
No, not texting, reading or polishing fingernails. (We actually had a case involving a woman who was eating crabs while driving - I swear.) But this dude, he was injecting himself with heroin while he was driving! Per the Hartford Advocate: According to police reports, on Oct...

Not The Way To Deal With The Troop Shortage

Posted on October 09, 2008
If you're out on bail for some serious crimes, how do you leave the country, without permission, and not get in trouble? Here's how: you're in the Army, and your unit gets called to Iraq (and nobody tells the Judge!) Per the Alabama Press-Register: In May 2006 a grand jury indicted Sean Sebastian Lane, 33, for enticing a child younger than 16 via a computer, attempting to entice a child younger than 16, two counts of transmitting obscene material to a child younger than 16, and attempting to invite a child younger than 16 to enter a vehi cle, house, office or other place for the purpose of a sexual act...

If You Love Me, Steal That Car

Posted on October 08, 2008
Ullricht Walter, a German citizen living in South Africa, had good reason to doubt that his wife loved him. Per The Times: ... Ullricht had discovered e-mail correspondence ["steamy love letters"] between [his wife] Linda and her high-school sweetheart, who even flew out from Germany for a clandestine meeting...

A Final Attempt To Get Justice?

Posted on October 07, 2008
It is not yet known what motivated a 45-year-old woman to drive her car into the courthouse doors. Whatever it was, though, it's likely the same thing that motivated her to then back up her car, and ram into the doors again... and again ... and again! Per the Journal Pioneer: When police arrived on the scene the woman had backed up a fourth time and rammed her car through the doors again, this time ending up inside the building...

A Really Big Bag, Or Really Small Bras ...

Posted on October 06, 2008
Now, either this lady had a really big bag, or the Victoria's Secret "PINK" bras are really, really small. Why? Because she stuffed 160 of them into her bag! Here's the story from The Miami Herald: There's a bra bandit on the loose in Southwest Florida...

Men Across New York Hail Judge's Ruling

Posted on October 05, 2008
What could a Judge do to please so many men? As reported by the AP: It won't be last call for ladies' night. A New York federal judge has a tossed out a suit claiming that drink discounts for women discriminate against men. The case was filed by attorney Roy Den Hollander, who also recently sued a university over its women's studies program...

Busted For Hugging?

Posted on October 04, 2008
Did I mention that the Iowa City, Iowa man hugged a cop? Oops. Here's the story, as reported by the AP. Hugs aren't getting any kisses from the law in Iowa City. Luke Schreder is now charged with assault on a peace officer, for hugging a policeman...

Another Day, Another Tasering

Posted on October 03, 2008
Unlike the incident in yesterday's post, I don't have any problem with this shocker in Ypsilanti, Michigan. As reported at mlive.com, Ypsilanti Police Sgt. Deric Gress said police were called to the scene at 4:10 a.m. on a report of a man chasing a woman outside an apartment complex...

Man Tasered By Police, And Later Dies, Was Carrying What?

Posted on October 02, 2008
An incredibly threatening ... squeegee. Really. Maybe the drugs killed him - maybe not. Here's the story, from the Orlando Sentinel: A sheriff's office spokesman said the man who deputies Tasered in south Orange County died this morning. Capt. Angelo Nieves of the Orange County Sheriff's Office confirmed the man was "under the influence" when deputies used a Taser to control him...

Your Money And Your Feet!

Posted on October 01, 2008
I might have to add a separate category for foot fetishes. (Click here and here for more foot fetish entries.) As reported by CBS3 in Philadelphia: An alleged foot fetish bandit is due in court for a preliminary hearing following a series of bizarre attacks in Philadelphia...

Dude Really Needs To Chill

Posted on September 29, 2008
Gino Lee Breeze, a 20-year-old man from Wales, has a wee bit of a thin skin. Thing is, the gents he thought were joking about him, weren't. No matter, though. The wheels were set into motion as Mr. Breeze went to the home of one of the men he thought had a laugh at his expense...

You Were Battered By What?

Posted on September 28, 2008
A fart. Yes, the police charged Clarksburg, West Virginia resident Jose Antonio Cruz with battery for farting on a policeman! As reported in the Charleston Daily Mail: South Charleston police said they were fingerprinting Cruz at police headquarters Tuesday when Cruz moved near Patrolman T...

One Wicked Lady

Posted on September 28, 2008
You can find the original report on this sadistic woman, Ms. Eunice Spry, here. She was just re-sentenced for the incredible abuse she inflicted upon 3 foster children over a 19-year period. Incredibly, the appeals court reduced her sentence for the abuse from 12 to 10 years...

One Really Creepy Firefighter

Posted on September 27, 2008
It started with a really bad car accident. Melbourne, Florida resident Carl Lambert had to have his leg amputated at the accident scene. Things went from extremely bad to extremely strange. Per CBS12 news: Lambert's Attorney says he was flown to the hospital, but his leg didn't follow...

A Good Day For Johns

Posted on September 26, 2008
Maybe this won't help Johns everywhere, but 9 Johns in Pennsylvania had a real good day. The "Johns" I am referring to are the customers of prostitutes. What's the cause for celebration? As reported by lehighvalleylive.com, Riegelsville's Craig Cardone and 8 others, accused of soliciting prostitutes, are getting their cars back...

Dude Busted For Stickers On His Car?

Posted on September 25, 2008
Yup. A 20-year-old construction worker named Cory Bishop got a ticket for having "indecent" stickers on his car. Where are things going apparently going so well that they have time to write tickets for such a harmless "offense?" Harrisonville, Kansas...

Full Nudity, Anyone?

Posted on September 24, 2008
Ojai, California's loss is Ashland, Oregon's gain? Ms. Jennifer Moss, as reported by The Oregonian ... ...often pedaled a bicycle around Ojai in a hemp G-string and flower-shaped pasties to promote Earth-friendliness. Live and let live, right? Her most recent misdemeanor arrest was for removing everything but her G-string and pasties in front of parishioners leaving an Easter Sunday Mass outside a Catholic church in Ojai...

You're Telling Me It's Illegal For Men To Go Topless?

Posted on September 24, 2008
Not only is it illegal for men to go topless in Easton, Maryland, it's illegal for "any person." What about babies? What about boys? Here's the law: Sec. 18-9. Required dress, upper torso, penalty. (a) It shall be unlawful for any person, whether male or female, to appear upon the streets, sidewalks and highways, or in any public building of the Town of Easton unless he or she is wearing a shirt, blouse or similar article of wearing apparel designed to cover the upper torso of said person...

Twelve-Year-Old Kid Did What?

Posted on September 22, 2008
It's 2:30 a.m. in Hartman, Arkansas. Do you know where your 12-year-old is? No worries. He's just drinking your beer, with his 10-year-old friend, then taking the truck out for a spin. Why? Per the AP, to find a girl they met at the rodeo! Here's what happened: The boys made it about 10 miles before the 12-year-old lost control of the truck...

Not A Kid You Would Want As A Neighbor ...

Posted on September 21, 2008
So if you're a neighbor of 15-year-old Ryan Bowen, you could always move. (One poor family did.) But what do you have to do to get the court to issue an ASBO (Anti-Social Behavior Order) against you? And to take the unusual step of naming you? (The ASBO imposes a curfew, prevents Ryan from associating with certain people, and imposes other restrictions on his behavior...

What's Wrong With The Barter System?

Posted on September 20, 2008
Usually nothing. But there are exceptions. Per the Chicago Tribune: A DeKalb lawyer was suspended for 15 months Thursday for arranging to have a female client perform nude dances for him in exchange for credit on her legal fees, a state commission said...

If You Are A Acquitted Of Robbing A Bank ...

Posted on September 19, 2008
About a month ago, Oscar Reynolds Jr. was acquitted of robbing the Liberty Bank in Jonesboro, Arkansas. Guess what Mr. Reynolds was doing this past Tuesday? He was robbing that same bank! Unlike the first time, where he was acquitted because he could not be positively ID'd, smart money says Mr...

Do The Dishes, Or Else

Posted on September 18, 2008
So this woman, Briana "don't make me pounce on you" Pouncy, told her live-in boyfriend Joseph Boykins to do the dishes. He didn't. When she came home to a sink full of dirty dishes, it was on. They argued, and she told Mr. Boykins to leave. When he refused, it got ugly...

Sure, Spitting Is Gross, But ...

Posted on September 17, 2008
Should spitting really be criminalized? "Yes," said he powers that be in Cincinnati. Here's a law that was passed in 2006 as part of the "Neighborhood Quality of Life Unified Code" Sec. 1601-27. Spitting in a Public Place. No person shall spit upon any sidewalk, street, highway, alley, the floor of any bus used for public transportation, theater, railway or public transportation depot or platform or the floor of any school house, church or public building of any kind...

Can You Run Yourself Over?

Posted on September 16, 2008
It takes some doing but, yes, you can. A 63-year-old Floridian named Mary Davis found this out the hard way. She was pissed off when the police, who came to her house in response to a domestic dispute, arrested her son. As reported by the Florida Times-Union: ...

As Ye Sew ...

Posted on September 15, 2008
You might know the rest of the saying ("so shall ye reap"), and so might Pennsylvania dentist Thomas McFarland, Jr., but he paid it no heed. The "sewing" in this case was the dumping of about 300 used needles [and other medical waste] into the ocean, which washed up on the beach in Avalon, New Jersey - where McFarland owns a vacation home! How did the authorities figure out it was McFarland? As reported in The Press of Atlantic City: ...

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