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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

I Happen To Like Macaroni

Posted on November 13, 2008
Such is not the case with Donald J. Jacobs, Jr. of North Platte, Nebraska. Per the North Platte Telegraph: According to the police report, Jacobs was intoxicated and assaulted his girlfriend with the pot when he discovered she made macaroni for his dinner...

You Will NEVER Guess Where This Dude Built A House

Posted on November 12, 2008
Mr. John Renshaw built a 2-story, 2-bedroom house inside a ... barn! Totally inside a barn! Why? Because he knew he couldn't get a permit to build it, and, per The Telegraph, [Council officers] think he attempted to use a loophole in the law that states that properties built without planning permission are allowed to stand if they have been lived in and undetected for at least four years...

Does This Poor Kid Have Any Sober Relatives?

Posted on November 11, 2008
A 1-year-old boy was waiting for a relative to pick him up at the police station in Schererville, Indiana because his mom was busted for drunk driving. So his dad drove to the station to get him, only he was drunk too, and was also busted for drunk driving...

Um, Can Another Doctor Read My Films?

Posted on November 10, 2008
You'd probably be better off having your palm read than having your x-rays or CT scans read by Oregon and Washington radiologist David Shoemaker. Both states have suspended Dr. Shoemaker's license. Here are a few of the "Findings of Fact" by the Oregon Board of Medical Examiners: "On May 18, 2001, Patient I underwent CT scans (with contrast) of the abdomen and pelvis...

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Seriously, This Is A Crime?

Posted on November 09, 2008
Even if this is technically a crime (like you never speed!), what kind of person would report this? Very uncool. The guy wasn't hurting anybody. As reported by The Republican-American: A man from Stonington faces public indecency charges after state police said he was driving nude on Interstate 84 on Wednesday morning...

Probation For This Kind Of Abuse?

Posted on November 08, 2008
This is just outrageous. As reported by the Northwest Arkansas Times: Fayetteville police responded to the Washington Regional Medical Center on May 24 to investigate suspected child abuse. According to the police report, the victim [a 4-year-old girl] had a 4-inch skull fracture with a pool of blood between her skin and skull [the evidence was unclear regarding how the child?s skull was injured...

Darjeeling Express - Kidnapper Flees India

Posted on November 07, 2008
Actually, it would be "bugnapper." As reported in The South Asian Post: SILIGURI, India - A Czech national who was sentenced to three years imprisonment by a court for collecting rare insects from a national park in Darjeeling has fled India after jumping bail...

GWI - Gliding While Intoxicated

Posted on November 06, 2008
It was a bad idea, and it didn't end well. Per the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review: Witnesses told township police that [Jay Matthew] Tokar [age 46] was flying his glider dangerously close to children playing soccer in the area. They also told police Tokar was yelling at people on the golf course and trying to spit on them...

Twice In One Day?

Posted on November 05, 2008
It was not a good day for Manheim Township, Pennsylvania resident Michael Hufford. At about 11:00 a.m., he was in an accident, and was busted for suspected DUI. The police released him to his girlfriend. Just 5 hours and 8 minutes later, Mr. Hufford was in another accident, and was again busted for suspected DUI...

What Do You Do If Your Child Tells You She Has Been Bullied?

Posted on November 04, 2008
Any parent would be rightfully angry upon learning that their child was bullied. Perhaps, though, stabbing the bully is not the proper response. Say what? Per the Toronto City News: Here's what [the police] say happened: two female students at an Oshawa school - which isn't being named - were engaged in a war of words...

Really, You Won't Allow This License Plate?

Posted on November 03, 2008
Juice devotees know that Sweden really is Big Brother when it comes to names. Apparently that applies to license plates too. Check this out from The Local: Officials with Sweden?s Road Administration (V�gverket) have denied a driver?s request for a licence place with what at first glance appears to be a completely innocent combination of characters...

Does Judge Buy Lame Speeding Excuse?

Posted on November 02, 2008
Just when you thought you'd heard them all... Check out this excuse for speeding, as reported in The Local: A woman from southern Sweden has lost her bid to have a speeding fine overturned on the grounds that she was suffering from diarrhea at the time of the offence...

Is Having Sex While Driving Legal?

Posted on November 01, 2008
At least in Germany it is. As reported by Reuters (a few years ago): A Cologne court fined a man who admitted he was having sex with a hitchhiker sitting astride him when he drove his car into a road sign. But only because he fled the scene of the accident with his naked accomplice...

I Love Bacon, But I'm With PETA On This One

Posted on October 31, 2008
Working on a pig farm must really suck. But why take it out on the pigs? So PETA did some undercover video work at a pig farm in Iowa, resulting in 6 workers being charged with 22 counts of animal cruelty. What did the video show? ... Another worker admitted to sodomizing the animals with metal rods, shoving clothes pins in the eyes and genitals...

Oh No You Didn't Show Up At The Courthouse In That

Posted on October 30, 2008
I'll give you a hint. Tony Van, of San Francisco, California, went to court to find out what the jury decided in his auto theft case. Here's another hint, he didn't take the streetcar to court. (Please, no e-mails if it doesn't go to the courthouse...

Food Been A Little Crunchy Lately?

Posted on October 29, 2008
Hey, I like crunchy foods, probably more than most folks. But I absolutely draw the line at glass. Yes, glass. Ms. Lynette Margaret Quessy thought she would get her husband to deal with his drinking problem by lacing his food with glass! As reported by news...

Prison For Search Engine Results?

Posted on October 28, 2008
You may recall that, for several years, a google search of "miserable failure" brought up, as the first result, Bush's White House biography! (Google has since fixed this "problem.") Now, imagine that the pranksters were in Poland, and the target was the Polish President...

You Are On Notice. Do NOT Mess With This Woman

Posted on October 27, 2008
Of course, if you don't mind having your head handed to you ... As reported in The South Asian Post: A woman chopped the head off a man who allegedly tried to attack her and then paraded the head through a market in northern India, police said. Police arrested the woman late on Thursday after receiving calls from frightened witnesses, said police officer Ram Bharose...

Good Drinking Buddy And A Good Doctor?

Posted on October 26, 2008
Perhaps this is the case with trauma doctor Martin Derusha, Jr. of Fort Worth, Texas. As to the doctoring, as reported in The Fort Worth Star-Telegram, per Mr. Derusha, "At this point in my career, I have no malpractice (claims), no problems at all in medicine...

Going To Jail Over How Much?

Posted on October 25, 2008
Would you rather pay your $7.45 Waffle House tab, or spend the weekend in jail? A 66-year-old Florida woman chose the latter, perhaps because she didn't have $7.45. Perhaps because she's ornery. Or maybe she's mentally ill? Maybe she was lit (she placed her order around 3:45 a...

What's Wrong With Friday?

Posted on October 24, 2008
Is it just me, or does "Friday" evoke positive thoughts for you too? For most folks, it's the end of the work week, and the beginning of the weekend. Well sir, an Italian court took a different view of "Friday." As reported by the BBC News: Italy's top court has banned a couple from naming their son Venerdi (Friday), saying such a "ridiculous" name could expose the boy to mockery...

Possibly The Worst Driver In History

Posted on October 23, 2008
If there is a worse driver out there, I'd be shocked. As reported in The Hamilton Spectator, here are some highlights of Toronto resident Gloria O'Neill's driving history: Her driver?s licence was suspended as far back as 1978, when she was just 21...

Shit Kills?

Posted on October 22, 2008
The word "shit" is just that - a word. Certainly some folks prefer not to say it, hear it or see it, but, well, tough ... Seriously, this is still America, right? Tell that to Brian Barnett, a Green Party candidate in Arkansas. I don't know anything about his politics, and I will stipulate that his sign was an incredibly stupid way to try to attract voters...

Seriously, You Want The Dog That Badly?

Posted on October 21, 2008
It's often not pretty when relationships end. But what would these doctors do about the dog they both wanted? From the Bangkok Post: A woman doctor shot at her boyfriend, who was also a doctor at the same hospital in Ubon Ratchathani province, after he refused to let her take care of their dog after the couple broke up...

This Really, Really Sucks!

Posted on October 20, 2008
Seriously, it sucks so much, a Michigan man couldn't resist. A car wash, a vacuum, an arrest... From The Saginaw News: Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash. The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit...

Shoot Me, Please!

Posted on October 19, 2008
Seriously, he said to shoot her, and she did. The charges? None. Here's the story from The Denver Post: Authorities said a woman who shot her husband in the knee won't face charges because he begged her to do it. The Arapahoe County Sheriff's office said a 35-year-old woman accused her husband of being drunk and becoming violent during an argument...

If The Underwear Doesn't Fit, You Must Acquit

Posted on October 18, 2008
So maybe that's not exactly the defense employed, but it's damn close. As reported in The South Asian Post: An Indian man escaped a possible death sentence for drug trafficking after his lawyer told a court it was impossible to walk with a stash of heroin in his underpants...

Definitely Not A Cat Lover

Posted on October 17, 2008
Why would one think that this young South Carolinian dislikes cats? Per The Post and Courier: He admitted to killing eight cats ? slitting the throats of six kittens and bashing in the skulls of two adult felines. Brutal. Anything else? In addition to eight counts of ill-treatment of animals, Campbell faced a harassment charge stemming from threatening telephone calls and profanity-laced e-mails directed at his ex-girlfriend, then 15...

Ouch! Do NOT Make This Lady Angry!

Posted on October 16, 2008
In her wake, a woman from Lillington, North Carolina, left 2 injured men, one of them a police officer. Warning: Men, reading this will likely cause you to cringe. From The Daily Record: Rebecca Arnold Dawson of Lillington was in court again on charges of assaulting Lillington Police Officer Ronnie Bass...

Run, Do Not Walk, From This Doctor's Office

Posted on October 15, 2008
An obstetrician named Roman Hasil has amassed quite a record, both on and off the job. As reported by The Courier: Dr Hasil committed one of the drink-driving offences, on February 6 at McGraths Hill, just weeks before he was suspended by the NSW Medical Board after a damning report into several botched operations he had performed in New Zealand...

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