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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

A New Kind Of Tourism?

Posted on April 27, 2010
Ecotourism is so yesterday. There's a new kind of tourism you may not have heard of. Per Whatcom County (Washington) Sheriff Bill Elfo, as reported in The Seattle Times: [Douglas Spink] was "promoting tourism of this nature for bestiality."Oh my. When county deputies and federal investigators searched the property they found videotapes that included images of a man, who was visiting the property, having sex with several large-breed dogs...

The Most Embarrassing DUI?

Posted on April 27, 2010
How embarrassing? Check this out, as reported by The Telegraph:A man who was caught drink-driving in a toy car with a top speed of 4mph has been banned from driving. Paul Hutton, 40, was pulled over by police as he drove an electric Barbie car, which moves slower than a mobility scooter, near his home in Essex...

A Simple Way To Get More Jobs For Locals

Posted on April 27, 2010
More jobs for locals? It may be simple, but perhaps it's just a little bit harsh. So how do you do it? You ban foreigners from doing the jobs! Done. That's what happened in Malaysia, as reported in The New Straits Times: Owners of coffee shops and restaurants are unhappy over a ruling that bars foreign workers from serving customers from next month...

If Your Child Has Been Bullied, What Should You Do?

Posted on April 27, 2010
Any parent would be rightfully angry upon learning that their child was bullied. Perhaps, though, stabbing the bully is not the proper response. Say what? Per the Toronto City News: Here's what [the police] say happened: two female students at an Oshawa school - which isn't being named - were engaged in a war of words...

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Kids Can Legally Drink At Bars In These Two States

Posted on April 27, 2010
True. Kids can legally drink at bars in Wisconsin and Texas if a parent buys them the drinks. That may be about to change in Wisconsin, as reported by Jason Stein of the Milwaukee, Wisconsin Journal Sentinel. Parents at a bar or restaurant could buy alcoholic drinks for children who are 18 years of age or older - but not those younger than that, as now allowed - under a bill passed 56-41 by the Assembly...

Catch And Don't Release?

Posted on April 27, 2010
Have you ever heard of squirrels invading a person's home? Apparently this has been a major problem for a man in Parsippany for 17 years! It has been so bad that Mr. Slaughter (yes, that's his real name) caught over 50 squirrels in recent years and released them several miles away...

I Have A Major Problem With This Version Of Strip Poker

Posted on April 27, 2010
So, how do you feel about strip "throw rocks at cars on the highway from an overpass" poker? Yes, that's what two dipshits in Washington were charged with. As reported by KOMO News: State troopers have arrested two people suspected of damaging at least 14 vehicles by throwing baseball-sized rocks onto them from a railroad trestle over Interstate 5 as a part of a stripping game...

Not The Best Hiding Place For Your Weed

Posted on April 27, 2010
Go ahead and scratch your head. I did, after reading this story about where a father decided to hide some weed. From The Herald-Standard: A Fayette County father is behind bars facing drug charges after he allegedly put several ounces of suspected marijuana in his son's blue Elmo backpack - and the child took it to school Thursday morning...

Can Cats Fly?

Posted on April 27, 2010
All parents get mad at their kids. But this? From the Broadview Heights Police Blotter, as reported by the Sun Star Courier at cleveland.com: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, EAST ROYALTON ROAD: At 6:19 p.m. Thursday, a patrolman went to Marymount South Medical Center for a report of domestic violence...

You Have A Gun In Your What?

Posted on March 12, 2010
Surely she didn't mean she literally had a gun there... But, after Ms. Patterson was arrested in Orlando, Florida, when the police asked her if she had any weapons or drugs on her person, here's what she is reported to have said: ?I have a gun in my vagina, you fucking idiot!" [expletive reinserted] If you're thinking that perhaps she was drunk, you can listen to the 911 tape(it's not real exciting) and judge for yourself...

$20 Down And Payment Plan For A Hitman?

Posted on March 11, 2010
A New Jersey man has been charged with soliciting a hit for $20 (and drugs) up front, plus payments after the hit. $20! Fortunately for the intended victim, the would-be hitman was an undercover police officer. From the pages (virtual, that is) of The Jersey Journal) ...

Not Your Typical Assault

Posted on March 10, 2010
Assault by ... breast milk, right from the source. Loyal Juice readers will recall a similar incident from across the pond a few years ago. Here's the skinny, from wkyt.com: A very unusual assault on an officer has more than doubled the trouble for a woman in Owensboro, Kentucky...

6-Year Divorce Case Comes Down To THIS?

Posted on March 09, 2010
After 6 years of litigation, everything else was settled in this divorce, which began just 4 months after the birth of the child at the heart of the controversy. Just what is the controversy? Whether the birth mother can prohibit her daughter's stepmother from calling the stepmother "Mum" or a variation thereof...

Pain. Serious Pain

Posted on March 08, 2010
Getting kicked there hurts. How about getting shot there? A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said. Police said the 17-year-old, whose name is being withheld because he's a minor, walked into Kaiser Permanente Vallejo Medical Center at about 5:45 p...

This Law Is Nuts

Posted on March 07, 2010
There is a law in Japan that forbids the importing of photographs showing male genitals. Why would The Juice know this? No, not because of a recent trip to Japan. Because, returning home from a trip abroad, Japanese publisher Takashi Asai was carrying a book of Mapplethorpe photos that he published in Japan in 1994...

You're Banning The Movie For That? Not Cool

Posted on March 06, 2010
A crushing blow has been dealt to schoolboys throughout the Indian State of Andhra Pradesh by it's highest court. The Andhra Pradesh High Court on Friday barred the release of a controversial Telugu movie after it allegedly inspired a Warangal schoolteacher to elope with her student...

Third Time Definitely Not A Charm ...

Posted on March 05, 2010
Talk about pushing your luck. This is from the Colorado Springs Police Blotter: Summary: Burglar alarm tripped at 7:25 PM at Dublin address, which is a medical marijuana dispensary. Access made by breaking front, glass door. Suspect gone upon officer arrival...

A Few Silly Laws

Posted on March 04, 2010
Yes, sir. They're tackling the big problems in Victoria, Australia. Here are a few recently enacted laws: In Bass Coast shire, families were shocked to learn they needed a $100 permit for children to camp in their own back yards. Geelong residents can be fined for feeding ducks or throwing stones into a public lake...

Crazy Domains Ad With Pam Anderson Banned - Too Much Skin?

Posted on March 03, 2010
This ad was banned by Australia?s Advertising Standards Bureau after viewer complaints. I'm with Gavin Collins, the managing director of Crazy Domains. He blamed ?feminist bloggers? for stirring up the controversy and is fighting the ban.

Getting Rid Of A Stupid Law?

Posted on March 02, 2010
The Juice won't take all the credit. But ... it has been reported that the South Carolina legislature is considering repealing an insane law requiring subversives to register with the state (and pay a $5 fee!) "... since bloggers picked up on it ....

If You Aren't Married - Keep Your Distance

Posted on March 01, 2010
Check this out, from The New Straits Times (Malaysia): SEBERANG JAYA: A 35-year-old man involved in alleged khalwat (close proximity) found himself stuck on the roof of a house before he was arrested.The man had earlier tried to evade a raid by the state Religious Affairs Department by jumping from an apartment unit in Jalan Tuna into an adjacent house at 3...

Could A Doctor Really Continue Practicing After All This?

Posted on February 28, 2010
If you or I ever try to pull the shit that Tennessee doctor Robert E. Grindstaff admitted to doing, fuhgeddaboudit. While he was in the hospital, here's what went down, per The Kingsport Times-News: [from August 3 through September 8] unlicensed personnel at Grindstaff?s Pinecrest Family Practice in Johnson City treated 115 patients by evaluating and questioning them about their needs and calling in refills for prescriptions without consulting a physician...

Talk About Patience ...

Posted on February 27, 2010

Starbucks, Or Bikini Bottoms Espresso Stand?

Posted on February 26, 2010
Pasties were booked into evidence - for real. The Juice is confident you can see where this post is going. So, here are your choices: Starbucks, where the baristas are fully clothed, or Bikini Bottoms Espresso Stand, where the baristas wear bikinis and ...

So, You Think You're Job Is Bad?

Posted on February 25, 2010
The Juice suggests that you think again. You are not a "manual scavenger." As described by writer Sunil Kuksal: The term ?manual scavenging? describes the daily work of manually cleaning and removing human feces from dry (non-flush) latrines across India...

This Is What You To Do A Sock Thief?

Posted on February 24, 2010
That's probably what Mr. James Dowdy is thinking. Per the Belleville News-Democrat: In 1993, Dowdy received a three-year-prison sentence for attempted burglary after police caught him with a bag of stolen socks. Damn. Three years for that? But wait ...

South Carolina Requires "Subversives" To Register - Really

Posted on February 23, 2010
Who do you think would be the last group of folks to tell the government that they are subversives? Maybe subversives? Well sir, the legislature in South Carolina was of a different mind, because they enacted the "Subversive Activities Registration Act...

Oh No You Didn't Just Call Your Client That

Posted on February 22, 2010
I know you're probably wondering, how could a sexual harassment claim arise from a cocktail waitress's employment at a strip club? Well, suspend your disbelief, and take my word for it. Or click here to read about it in the Gothamist. Anyway, that's not the point of the post...

Did The Judge Really Say That?

Posted on February 21, 2010
Yup. Judge John P. Wulle, of the Clark County, Washington Superior Court, was attending a conference entitled "Planning Your Juvenile Drug Court in Los Angeles in July 2006. I know, skip the details - get to the dirt. Here's some of what he said, as set forth in the "Stipulation" entered into by the Judge and the Commission on Judicial Conduct: During a breakout session, the team's facilitator wrote a star on an assignment the team completed and said jokingly, "Clark County gets a star...

Mugging Victim Takes "Feeling No Pain" To Another Level

Posted on February 05, 2010
"Shock" can mask a lot of things, but this? Per The Sun ... A mugging victim had a six inch knife plunged deep into her back ? and she didn't even feel it. Skeptical? Check out the picture here. Incredibly the 22-year-old, who was knifed by a mugger on her way home from work, failed to notice the appalling injury and managed to calmly stroll to safety...

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