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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

Should You Be Allowed To Do This To A Kitten?

Posted on February 04, 2010
In many households, there is a debate over piercings of various body parts. What body part? How many piercings? At what age? But what about this: piercing a kitten's ears! That's what a Luzerne County, Pennsylvania woman has been charged with, as reported by WNEP-TV...

Who Taught This Kid How To "Fish"?

Posted on February 03, 2010
This is definitely the most bizarre type of "fishing" The Juice has ever read about. As reported in the Strongsville, Ohio police blotter of the Sun Star Courier: ... officers had a chat with a boy because of his unusual fishing methods. Concerned residents called police because the youngster -- who was at Waterford Lake on Prospect Road -- was catching fish with a bow and arrow that had a suction cup attached...

Should You Call The Cops When You Get Punched? Not Always.

Posted on February 02, 2010
So you get popped in the face. Why wouldn't you call the cops? Well, it depends on who's doing the popping, and who gets popped. Per the San Diego Union Tribune: A man who was busy robbing his elderly victim Saturday became so upset when a bystander tried to break up the crime by punching him in the face that he called police to report an assault...

Sorry, But You're Too "Ellen" For This Job

Posted on February 01, 2010
That "Ellen" thing. That is essentially why Heartland Inns of America fired Brenna Lewis, according to Ms. Lewis. But, as reported by Courthouse News Service, Ms. Lewis may have the last word. An Iowa hotel clerk who describes herself as "slightly more masculine" can sue her former employer for allegedly firing her because she wasn't pretty enough and she lacked "the Midwestern girl look," the 8th Circuit ruled...

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Doctor Of The Day? I Am Not Worthy. Really.

Posted on January 31, 2010
No doubt Dr. Nilon Tallant was incredibly thrilled to be honored as the Texas "Doctor of the Day" on January 12, 2007. He correctly assumed that the Texas House of Representatives did not know that he is a CONVICTED SEX OFFENDER who had his license revoked (by the Texas Medical Board!) for 4 years...

A Very Unusual Bedside Manner ...

Posted on January 30, 2010
Let's just say that Canadian doctor Martin Gillen is in a class by himself - hopefully. As reported by the Ottawa Citizen: [Gillen's boss] said [he] was upfront with him about a 2001 incident in which he was caught masturbating as a drugged female patient lay on his examining table...

The Dumbest Traffic Ticket Ever?

Posted on January 29, 2010
Crime must be down in Strathclyde (Scotland). Why? Because police there apparently have nothing better to do than to give a man a ticket for blowing his nose! And his car was stopped! As reported by Sky News: Michael Mancini had stopped his van in traffic and wiped his nose with a handkerchief...

You Can't Fire Us For That!

Posted on January 28, 2010
Of all the reasons to fire somebody, this has got to be among the most idiotic. As reported by China Daily: Two women have been fired from their jobs for refusing to drink at a company party. No doubt they would have been fired had they gotten shitfaced...

Three Months For Five Firecrackers?

Posted on January 27, 2010
You can put your eyeballs back in their sockets. You read it right: 3 months in the slammer (and a fine of about $600!) for possessing 5 firecrackers. From the New Straits Times (Malaysia): A jobless man was sentenced to three months' jail and fined RM2,000 by the magistrate's court yesterday for possessing five firecrackers...

Excuse Me, Sir. You May NOT Bring That Into The Hospital!

Posted on January 26, 2010
Kauai has got to be one of the coolest places on earth (especially the north shore). It's definitely the coolest place The Juice ever visited. But even this totally chill tropical paradise has a few rules. For example, when you visit somebody in the hospital, you can't bring the patient's horse (in the elevator!) to cheer him up...

Do We Want A Prank-Free Society?

Posted on January 25, 2010
The Juice definitely doesn't - and not just because it would reduce the amount of material out there. Anyway, talk about a harmless prank. And a damn funny one too ... Check this out, as reported by khou.com: What happens when you drop the C and the L from class? You get in trouble, that?s what...

Oh No You Didn't Just Call The Judge That

Posted on January 24, 2010
She did. She called the Judge an asshole! (Or, as reported at Ocala.com, "a two-syllable curse word?a crude term referring to the anus." Must be a "family" newspaper. Please.) Anyway, Ms. Sarah E. Muller was not pleased with Marion County [Florida] Judge R...

The 12th Commandment: Don't Be Afraid

Posted on January 23, 2010
The day may come when The Juice reveals the 11th commandment... But this day, we have the story of a man who violated the 12th commandment: Don't Be Afraid. And his dog almost paid the ultimate price. Per the Cairns Post: A man was so convinced he was going to jail for hosting a noisy New Year's Day party he put his things in storage and arranged to have his dog put down, a Cairns court heard...

Hmm. If You're Involved In An Illegal Transaction, Should You Call The Police If One Party Reneges?

Posted on January 22, 2010
No! No! No! If you're doing something illegal - like soliciting a prostitute! - don't call the cops to complain when it goes south! As reported by WMUR in New Hampshire: A man and a woman were charged with prostitution Tuesday after, police said, the man called them to report that the woman didn't have sex with him after he paid for it...

Lawyer Partakes Of Not So Legal Juice, In The Courthouse

Posted on January 04, 2010
I'm not sure how The Juice missed this one (perhaps he was busy with his daytime gig), because it's not often that an attorney gets busted for doing cocaine, in the courthouse, in the midst of a trial. As reported by the The Wininona Post (Minnesota): The assault trial for accused murderer Jack Nissalke came to an abrupt and unexpected end Thursday when his Twin Cities-based attorney was arrested for alleged possession of 5 grams of cocaine...

Belt Buckle In Court Said What?

Posted on January 03, 2010
Well, the bailiffs told reporter Mike Longaecker (of The Republican Eagle) that the message on the woman's flashing belt buckle read "fuck you." Shazam! Why? Per Mr. Longaecker: While the attorney for a suspected Red Wing murder accomplice argued for his client?s release, a supporter of the suspect had a courtroom message she also wanted to deliver...

Dude Sues For His Penthouse

Posted on January 02, 2010
The magazine, that is, not the dwelling. Unfortunately for Jorge Niebla, his current dwelling is a prison cell. And he's having a real hard time getting his Penthouse subscription. So, feeling aggrieved, and having plenty of time on his hands, he sued...

New Year's Resolution: Quieter Sex Or Move To Single Family Home

Posted on January 01, 2010
Would you believe me if I told you a woman was busted for noisy sex? Well, I am. As reported in The Northern Echo: A woman pleaded guilty today to breaching a sex Asbo [anti-social behavior order] three times. Caroline Cartwright, 48, and her husband Steve were hit with a noise abatement notice after neighbours, the local postman, and a woman taking her child to school complained about their noisy lovemaking...

Not A Good Way To Beckon In The New Year

Posted on December 31, 2009
If it sounds really crazy, it's usually true. As reported by the Los Angeles Times: A 28-year-old man pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor count of animal cruelty in a bizarre New Year's Eve incident in which he leaped off the San Diego-Coronado Bridge with an Oceanside police dog biting his arm...

It's Hard To Believe These Fellas Were Caught

Posted on December 30, 2009
So check out these fellas, as reported by The Arkansas Times: Worst dillweeds Several people were arrested in April and charged in a series of burglaries in the Hillcrest section of west Little Rock after they pawned a digital camera that contained pictures of them displaying and bragging about all the loot they'd stolen, including the camera...

My Weed? Why Would You Think That?

Posted on December 29, 2009
Talk about really bad timing (or being really stoned - or both), as reported by The Maryland Coast Dispatch [Ocean City]: On Monday evening, an OCPD officer was in the Liquor Mart on 18th Street investigating a theft when he observed a female standing at the counter paying for her purchase...

The Darjeeling Express - "Kidnapper" Flees India

Posted on December 28, 2009
Actually, it would be "bugnapper." As reported in The South Asian Post: SILIGURI, India - A Czech national who was sentenced to three years imprisonment by a court for collecting rare insects from a national park in Darjeeling has fled India after jumping bail...

Not The Best Way To Treat Your Tenants ...

Posted on December 27, 2009
What did the Landlord allegedly do? He crashed his Hummer into their - um, his - house! At about 2:30 a.m.! As reported by delawareonline: According to New Castle County police, the tenants, a 50-year-old man and his 53-year-old wife, awoke around 2:30 a...

These Folks Must REALLY Love This Dog, Or Really Hate Each Other (Or Both)

Posted on December 26, 2009
It's often not pretty when relationships end. But what would these doctors do about the dog they both wanted? From the Bangkok Post: A woman doctor shot at her boyfriend, who was also a doctor at the same hospital in Ubon Ratchathani province, after he refused to let her take care of their dog after the couple broke up...

Man Had Sex With A What?

Posted on December 25, 2009
I would imagine it does not get more embarrassing than this. As reported by lite-news.com: A pensioner was caught engaged in a sex act with a horse when the animal?s owner drove past and could not believe what he was seeing. Retired farm worker David Chamberlin was watched as he led the horse towards bushes at the side of a field in Billingham, near Stockton...

Really? A Motion To Continue A Trial For That?

Posted on December 24, 2009
Regular Juice readers may recall that this will not be the first post involving a Motion to Continue a trial due to ... a football game! I'm sure it won't be the last, unfortunately. And just in case you think that maybe The Juice just doesn't like football ...

Father Told Congregation What?

Posted on December 23, 2009
Yes, times are tough. But check this out, from a sermon by Anglican priest Tim Jones, per The Daily Mail: He told parishioners [shoplifting from major stores] would not break the eighth commandment 'thou shalt not steal' because it 'is permissible for those who are in desperate situations to take food that they might not starve'...

Cop Brandished Gun At Washington, DC Snowball Fight?

Posted on December 22, 2009
True, and there are photos of it on the Washington City Paper site, which you can see if you click here. And check out the video below of the snowball fight. I'm not sure when it took place relative to the police officer brandishing his gun.

Think Twice Before You Stick Out Your Tongue

Posted on December 21, 2009
No need to think twice about sticking out your tongue, either in the United States, or probably almost everywhere except ... Italy. You may not believe this but, as reported by UPI, "Italy's highest court of appeal affirmed the illegality of insulting someone by sticking your tongue out at them...

Speed Camera Photographs Birds ...

Posted on December 20, 2009
Australian Christian Marchesani has unambiguous contempt for speed cameras. Per the Australian Broadcasting Corporation: ... in January Marchesani sat on the fuel tank of his motorbike and rode past a speed camera twice with his thumbs up, reaching speeds of up to 130 kilometres an hour in a 70 zone...

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