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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

Judge Said What?

Posted on July 06, 2009
Per the Alaska Supreme Court's decision, Judge David Landry: made inappropriate sexual comments to female court employees in the workplace. These included a note to a female employee that her "Hillbilly thermometers are distracting", a note to a court clerk referring to a juror, stating, "I think Ms...

Have I Got A Piece Of Property For You!

Posted on July 05, 2009
A Chinese company called "Beijing Lunar Village Aeronautics and Technology Co Ltd," but operating as the "Lunar Embassy to China," offered land on the moon at the low, low price of 298 yuan (about $40) per acre. And just in case you need to check up on your plot, this ambitious company also registered to engage in space travel...

A Doctor Is Kind Of Like A Tailor, Right?

Posted on July 04, 2009
They both sew with a steady hand, right? Somehow, a 30-year-old Indian man posed as a doctor for almost a year without raising even an eyebrow. So how was he caught? A security guard overheard the "doctor" telling a patient that he did not know the way to the pathology lab! And what did the man say when he was caught? He said he was a surgeon in India, had a applied for a job, and was just wandering around waiting for word on his application...

Robber's Weapon Of Choice? Tough To Conceal

Posted on July 03, 2009
This man didn't walk into Walgreens with no stinkin' pocket knife. No, it's the Powell Doctrine (remember, overwhelming force?) or nothing. Per The Denver Post: A 19-year-old Denver man wielding a samurai sword is suspected of holding up a pharmacy Tuesday night in Glendale...

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"I'm Not The Best Criminal"

Posted on July 02, 2009
That may be an understatement. Sure, if you're in jail, maybe it's not a big deal to steal from another inmate. But what about stealing a computer from the jail? Yup. Per the Kalamazoo Gazette:Kalamazoo County Circuit Judge Gary Giguere Jr. sentenced [Western Michigan University student William K...

Is That Even "Armed" Robbery?

Posted on July 01, 2009
Okay so the guy had a knife, but it was a butter knife. And the motel clerk didn't think much of it either. Per the Rapid City Journal [South Dakota]: The front desk clerk told police a man pointed a butter knife at her and asked her for money. When she refused, the man left the hotel, walking west, police said...

Easy Way To Make $45 On Your $5 Investment!

Posted on June 30, 2009
You know those ideas that make you say "why didn't I think of that? It's so simple." Well, this isn't one of them. The only simple thing about this scheme is the dude that tried to pull it off. From the South Florida Sun-Senitnel: Add a zero to a $5 bill and it becomes a $50? Well, one would-be thief today tried to pass off a fake fifty at the Ace hardware store, 510 E...

How To GUARANTEE That Your Kid Will Get Better Grades And Higher SAT Scores

Posted on June 29, 2009
The old saw remains true: if it's sounds too good to be true, it is. So how did former high school secretary Caroline McNeal allegedly assure that her daughter increased her grades and SAT scores? Per The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: The first clue that something was amiss came when a high school guidance office employee in fall 2007 noticed that the SAT college entrance exam score in the school computer for Ms...

A Truly Obscene Number Of Obscene Phone Calls

Posted on June 28, 2009
How many? In Paul Kavanagh's case, 15,000! He's been at it since 1995. On one day in February of this year, he made 65 calls! After all these years, how did they catch a guy who used unregistered cell phones? He gave the police a huge clue when he told one of his victims that he "liked the way [her] hair is today...

Dude, You're Violin Is Killing Me!

Posted on June 27, 2009
What's a person to do when his boarding housemate's violin playing has been driving him insane for three years? Per The Courier Mail: The man approached the violin player, snapped the bow and threw it out the window of the Lutwyche residence. He said he had been listening to him play it badly for three years and finally had a "brain snap and couldn't listen to it any longer"...

How Can You Convict One Twin If You Can't Tell Them Apart?

Posted on June 26, 2009
An interesting question, and not an academic one, for identical twins Gavin and Rhys Higgins, and for the alleged victim, Darryl Churchill. Per the Daily Mail: Darryl Churchill had claimed that one of the twins set upon him after a dispute over a game of pool which he had refereed...

Is BFWI A Crime?

Posted on June 25, 2009
BFWI? Breast-feeding while intoxicated. And yes, at least in Grand Forks, North Dakota it is - and it's a felony. As reported by the Grand Forks Herald: A Grand Forks mother who police say was ?extremely intoxicated? while breast-feeding her 6-week-old pleaded guilty to child neglect Tuesday...

Doctor's Troubling Career Ends

Posted on June 24, 2009
Timothy Paul Gatschet of Wichita, Kansas was not exactly a shining example of what a doctor should be. From The Hays Daily News: [The Kansas State Board of Healing Arts] had taken away his license in 1993 for inappropriate conduct. In 1996, he was convicted of three felony counts of attempted enticement of a child...

Pennsylvania Beer Laws? Grab A Six Pack And Get Comfortable

Posted on June 23, 2009
You live in Pennsylvania, and you just want to pick up a six-pack of beer and be on your way. So you head down to the Sheetz convenience store, which has a license to sell beer. But, under Pennsylvania law, because Sheetz wouldn't allow folks to drink on the premises, they're not allowed to sell beer at all! Say what? Sheetz took this absurd law to the Pennsylvania Supreme Court and ...

Dear, I Think That Man Was Driving Backwards

Posted on June 22, 2009
Now, dear, don't be ... oh my! He is driving backwards - down the highway! As reported by tdn.com (Washington State): Police arrested a driver Thursday night who was cruising along Interstate 5 ? in reverse. The 41-year-old man drove at least three miles backward on Interstate 5 before his arrest around 8:30 p...

Damn You Teddy!

Posted on June 21, 2009
Here's the defense: "It wasn't me. It was all the bear's idea." The crime? Per The Sydney Morning Herald: Police said in April this year [22-year-old Russell] Hounslow's 21-year-old flatmate found a camera inside a teddy bear on her bedside table and discovered it was linked to a video cassette recorder...

Dude Must Have Been REALLY Hungry

Posted on June 20, 2009
Talk about a petty crime. Per newsok.com (The Oklahoman): Roger Hamilton told police he was sitting on a bus station bench, preparing to put mayonnaise on his 76-cent bologna and cheese sandwich, when a man wearing headphones began staring at him. Hamilton, 24, told police he asked the man if he could help him, but the man punched him in the mouth and snatched his sandwich...

Can A Lady Just Mail A Letter Without Being Harassed?

Posted on June 19, 2009
On several occasions, I have put an envelope in my bike bag and arrived home, having forgotten to stop by the mailbox. Never, though, have I stopped by the mailbox, having forgotten to put on my clothes. Florida resident Marilyn Incigeri made that trip to the mailbox ...

You're Stalking The Police?

Posted on June 18, 2009
Dude. Of all people to stalk, the police? That's what Thomas C. Massey of Traverse City, Michigan is accused of, per the Traverse City Record-Eagle: Massey spent a good portion of Monday shouting at officers and making a profane gesture at them as he paced around the building, police said...

Saved By The Cell ... Phone

Posted on June 17, 2009
If you are one of those folks who refuses to carry a cell phone, I seriously doubt that this story will change your mind. But for those who carry them religiously (me?), and feel strange if we don't have them, vindication! Check out this story from the Atlanta Journal Constitution: The robber came in the door of the Beverage Mart liquor store in Roswell, waving a big, black hunting knife...

License Plate "0" May Be #1 In Parking Tickets

Posted on June 16, 2009
Perhaps you might feel otherwise, but despite receiving 77 parking tickets this year - all "unearned" - Illinois resident Tom Feddor would not dream of giving up his "0" license plate. His grandfather got it in 1971, and it's been in the family ever since...

Clerk Makes Himself Immortal

Posted on June 15, 2009
How can a judge's clerk make himself immortal? By cleverly inserting his name in an opinion. Props to the Southeast Texas Record's John Browning for sharing this story. And speaking of the story, here's how law clerk Bob Bragalone put his name in Judge Belew's published opinion: He started each paragraph of the opinion with a letter in his name...

Cook Put What In The Steak?

Posted on June 14, 2009
Pubic Hair! As reported by cbs4denver.com: "According to the [police] complaint, a second kitchen worker told police [the cook] put a slit in the steak and pushed something inside, then stated, "These are my pubes," referring to pubic hair." [The cook said they were facial hairs...

Wet Blanket On Iowa Wet T-Shirt Contest?

Posted on June 13, 2009
[Sorry if this disappoints anyone, but that there is a costume.] So wet t-shirt contests might not be your thing, but really, is it something you want to spend time prosecuting? In Mason City, Iowa, that would be a "yes," as reported by RadioIowa.com...

Punished For Toilet Paper Letter?

Posted on June 12, 2009
Texas Inmate George Morgan filed a habeas petition, which the state moved to dismiss. This didn't sit well with Mr. Morgan. So he wrote a note to assistant U.S. attorney Susan San Miguel on toilet paper. What did the note say? As reported by Courthouse News Service: "Dear Susan, Please use this to wipe your ass, that argument was a bunch of shit! You[rs] Truly, George Morgan...

Beyond Road Rage

Posted on June 11, 2009
So this man and his son (the Estays) were cruising down an Idaho highway when they saw their car ... being driven by someone else. They say they thought it was stolen. Nope. Turns out it was being repossessed (by the Lyles). A car chase ensued. Per kpvi...

What, You Don't Find Kohl's Exciting?

Posted on June 10, 2009
Honestly, I'm not a Kohl's guy either. But some people get really excited about shopping there ... A man from Oconomowoc, accused of fondling himself in a department store, was charged Monday with one count of Lewd and Lascivious Behavior. According to the criminal complaint, Daniel Wagner, 38, was seen masturbating in a Kohl's Department store on St...

Interesting Gardening Apparel

Posted on June 09, 2009
There are folks who garden in more traditional garb (clothes), and then there are the Pierces of Boulder, Colorado. They were spotted gardening in front of their rental unit with very little on - Ms. Pierce was sporting pasties and a thong; Mr. Pierce was was just wearing a thong...

Really? You Missed A Cyst That Big?

Posted on June 08, 2009
Although he had examined the patient several times in 2002 and 2003, the doctor failed to notice that his patient had a 32 pound cyst! What did he tell her? Per the Otago [New Zealand] Daily Times online, that ... ...she was overweight and prescribed weight-loss pills...

Toilet Tissue Tax Tiff

Posted on June 07, 2009
Oh no you didn't K-Mart. You didn't just charge Mary Bach tax on that toilet paper. Everybody knows that, unlike other paper goods, toilet paper is not taxed in Pennsylvania. No, Ms. Bach is not making a federal case out it - just a teeny, tiny $100 state court case...

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