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Law Humor

Legal Antics

Chronicling legal humor-- because let's face it-- lawyers take themselves far too seriously and the law is damn funny if you look at it through the right lens.
By Nicole Black, Esq.

Post Frequency: 2.5/day

Last Entry: August 08, 2011 at 07:55:00

Wait. They offer those in court? NYC is so craaazy.

Posted on July 27, 2009
Via the New York Personal Injury Law Blog: In Bronx Supreme Court today, a woman calling out "Hand Jobs! Hand Jobs!" My inquisitive correspondent found that McLean v. Hand Jobs, Inc. (Index #350502/2008) was on for a Preliminary Conference before...

Touché , Mr. Squirrel. Touché .

Posted on July 22, 2009
Via Courtoons:

Why, he's perfect--and on Craigslist. Things that make you say "hmmm".

Posted on July 21, 2009
Handsome, Successful, Funny Lawyer Looking for Hot College Girl 18-25 - 28 Date: 2009-07-18, 8:31AM PDT Reply To This Post This is for all you lovely college girls out there who are looking for a hot, smart, mature guy. I...

The complimentary burglar--the best kind.

Posted on July 20, 2009
Via KFYRnew.com, a note left by a teenage burglar:

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Sometimes, the truth hurts.

Posted on July 15, 2009
Via Courtoons:

Camping-the solution to legal discontent?

Posted on July 13, 2009
The Intro to Every Horror Movie from the 80's, in a Nutshell Male 30-something lawyer: I'm looking forward to this weekend. Me and my girlfriend are going camping. Male 50-something lawyer: The only thing I have left to look forward...

Start a blog--get a job

Posted on July 13, 2009
I'm proud to announce that I'm now a contributing blogger at one of my favorite law blogs, Lawyerist. My first post, "Start a blog-get a job," explains how blogging can help attorneys who were recently recently laid off, are new...

Honesty-the best policy.

Posted on July 12, 2009
Disgruntled Lawyer Seeks Hot Girl for Broken Plans and Disappointment - 33 (Lower East Side) Reply to: pers-jgmm9-1258273540@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-07-07, 5:02PM EDT Hi there, I'm a depressed overweight overworked balding lawyer that hates his job...

Honesty's always the best policy.

Posted on July 08, 2009
Via Courtoons comes the following:

I just can't improve on the title, so why even try?

Posted on July 07, 2009
Why New York's Prisons Are Overflowing Agitated man : I'm going to take that lawyer to court now! Disinterested store owner: For what? Agitated man: Not talking nice! --35th & 4th, Brooklyn Overheard by: Rhian via Overheard in New York,...

"Feast on the feces of your young" = not sexy

Posted on July 06, 2009
Doesn't anyone find nerds/geeks sexy? - 35 (South Mipples) Reply to: pers-zvm9r-1223694638@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-15, 10:45PM CDT Alright. Here's try number 2. Why the second try? Because of all the replies I've received, I feel it...

Multiple bar exams-and a model to boot. Awesome.

Posted on July 01, 2009
SEXY, TAN, MUSCULAR LAWYER / MODEL LOOKING FOR PRETTY N SMART GIRL Reply to: pers-zujsm-1234106356@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-22, 11:26AM PDT This is for all of the girls out there who are smart and sexy and fun....

Wish I'd know this before law school.

Posted on June 30, 2009
My Therapist Says That's Why I Don't Get Any 40-something man: Hey! I know you! You're Victor's daughter, right? Teenage girl: Yeah. 40-something man: Wow, look how tall you've gotten. You probably don't remember me, but I'm a friend of...

If only stupidity were a defense...

Posted on June 29, 2009

Will lawyers ever get technology?

Posted on June 25, 2009
4PM We're Looking for a Porn Site. Lawyer, about purchasing domain name: Why don't you go through that website. What's it called? Who's your daddy dot com or something? CEO: I think that's a different kind of website, Brett. Baltimore,...

A new use for social media status reports.

Posted on June 24, 2009
That's right. I just couldn't stay away. I'll continue to post over the summer, posting just won't be as predictable as before. Via Courtoons:

New blog

Posted on June 15, 2009
If you're a foodie, check out my newest blog, The Epicurean Esquire. Thanks!

Summer vacation

Posted on June 14, 2009
I'm going to take a summer break from this blog--a break of undetermined length. At least one month--maybe two. But, never fear--I'll be back before you know it. Try to carry on in my absence;)

If only this guy had shared just a bit more about himself...

Posted on June 10, 2009
Eclectic Guy Wants to Get Out Tonight - 25 (Friendship Heights) Reply to: pers-kgf78-1208633505@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-06-06, 3:03PM EDT Hello! I'm a 25 year-old single white male. I'm 5'11 with blue eyes, and while I?m no...

Free Screencast- "Web-based Law Practice Management Systems"

Posted on June 10, 2009
For a limited time, the 3rd episode of lawtechTalk, "Web-based law practice management systems" can be viewed for FREE. This screencast (a recording of computer screen output along with video of me discussing what is seen) will focus on three...

The guy was lying--lawyers don't know how to make small talk.

Posted on June 09, 2009
Via FMyLife: Today, I rear-ended a car. While we were waiting for the police, we made small talk, at which time I learned he was an attorney. FML

How to make friends and influence judges.

Posted on June 08, 2009
Via Lawyerist, we learn that saying "Screw You" to a judge in written and verbal form is the way Ashton O'Dwyer Jr. influences people. Whether his approach was successful remains to be seen. Mr. O'Dwyer's entire handwritten response to the...

I'm pretty sure I worked with this attorney.

Posted on June 03, 2009
Via Courtoons:

How to pick up chicks if you're a lawyer.

Posted on June 02, 2009
Sexy bathroom advertisement lawyer - w4m - 25 (Unidentified bar in Katy) Reply to:pers-yem9w-1194917172@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-05-29, 10:48AM CDT So there I was, perched on a toilet in some random bar in Katy. I admit that...

Art through the eyes of a lawyer.

Posted on June 01, 2009
Via Overheard in New York: Lawyer to friend, about Vincent van Gogh: You know, I could have gotten him disability. --Van Gogh Exhibit, MoMA

Examples of how not to advertise

Posted on May 28, 2009
Via Esquire, Five Lawyer Ads That Make Any Supreme Court Candidate Look Brilliant:

And there are pictures, too!

Posted on May 27, 2009
Handsome, Sweet & Hung Lawyer Coming to Town - Tuesday Night Only - m4w - 29 (My Hotel - Midtown) Reply to:pers-caumt-1188942101@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-05-26, 2:31AM EDT So you pretty much have all the facts now...I....

Sadly, I'm not even kind of surprised that this occurred.

Posted on May 26, 2009
His Private Life Is Irrelevant, Counselor. Attorney on conference call: Your honor, opposing counsel is beating a dead whore! New Orleans, Louisiana Overheard by: Glad she's not a dead whore via Overheard in the Office, May 26, 2009

What is a "tort" anyway?

Posted on May 20, 2009
Via Courtoons comes the following:

Not sure of that would have passed the character and fitness test.

Posted on May 19, 2009
Via Texts From Last Night, one of my newest favorite blogs (created by lawyers, coincidentally), comes the following: (919): I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let...

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