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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

Online Sex Auction Takes A Bizarre Turn ...

Posted on February 17, 2008
As reported in the City News: It is a tale that could only happen in the age of the Internet and it's become the focus of worldwide attention. A German woman has won a court battle to force an Internet service provider to reveal the names of the men who may have gotten her pregnant...

Would You Vote For This Man?

Posted on February 16, 2008
Milwaukee Alderman Michael McGee had been arrested three times in the past 18 months, and was involved in several other incidents. He was arrested (that's #1) for shouting an obscenity at Blockbuster employees. In the aftermath of a protest following the Blockbuster incident, he did not contest "a municipal charge of resisting and obstructing an officer...

Flashing Belt Buckle In Court Said What?

Posted on February 15, 2008
Well, the bailiffs told reporter Mike Longaecker (of The Republican Eagle) that the message on the woman's flashing belt buckle read "fuck you." Shazam! Why? Per Mr. Longaecker: While the attorney for a suspected Red Wing murder accomplice argued for his client?s release, a supporter of the suspect had a courtroom message she also wanted to deliver...

A Man Who Is Quite Serious About His Weed

Posted on February 14, 2008
So this 52-year-old dude was growing pot in the loft of a house he owned with a 59-year-old woman. She dropped by the house to tell him to kill the weed. An argument ensued, after which she tried to tear down the wall that partitioned off the weed room...

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Irony

Posted on February 13, 2008
Sixty-one-year-old Janusz Nowak of Sosnowiec, Poland was sick and tired of people vandalizing his bus stop. So, he pasted the following notice on the pavement: "Dear Vandals - please stop destroying the bus-stop." And guess what happened? He was arrested for vandalism! A police spokesman said: "Although the man had good intentions and wanted to express his indignation towards hooligans' behaviour in the neighbourhood he unfortunately broke the law himself...

Jail Time For A Handshake?

Posted on February 12, 2008
Anthony Rentas, husband of Attorney Kathy Brewer Rentas, was sentenced to 90 days house arrest for violating his probation. Call it a hunch, but I don't think Ms. Rentas was thanking Assistant U.S. Attorney Jenifer Keene when she shook her hand after the hearing...

Do NOT Cut And Paste In The Phillipines

Posted on February 11, 2008
Especially if you're doing it with a random nude body and your ex-girlfriend's head. Rustan Ang now knows this. As reported in the Philippine Daily Inquirer: The Court of Appeals has affirmed a four-year prison term, P100,000 fine ($2,470 U.S.) and mandatory psychiatric treatment for a man who threatened to spread a pornographic picture with his ex-girlfriend's face on it after she rebuffed his attempts to rekindle their relationship...

Insanity From Italian Judges

Posted on February 10, 2008
How can a 34-year-old man, who admitted to a four-month-long sexual relationship with a 13-year-old girl not see the inside of a cell? He was originally sentenced to 3 years but, on appeal, the court reduced the sentence to 1 year and 4 months. Why? The court concluded there was "real love" between Vicenza butcher Antonio de Pascale and the girl...

She Said "No Omelette" - Okay?

Posted on February 09, 2008
So the husband, Ravi, wanted an omelette for dinner. And he's not real flexible (at least he wasn't at the time). Wife Kavitha, a school teacher, didn't feel like cooking no stinkin' omelette. After an argument, she began chopping onions for the omelette...

Make Up Your Mind!!!!

Posted on February 08, 2008
Ah yes, the happy couple. James McManus and Corina McCarthy became engaged in December 2005, and they lived... Actually, she dumped him, and returned the "relatively expensive" engagement ring. She changed her mind, again, and they got engaged, again, with the same ring...

Not Your Average Texas Legislator

Posted on February 07, 2008
I think Representative Borris Miles will have a tough time explaining this (as reported by The Houston Chronicle): ... in December ... Miles crashed a party at the posh St. Regis Hotel. Party host David Harris said a drunken Miles shocked guests with loud, profane language before planting a Godfather-style "kiss of death" on his cheeks [and tried to grab his groin, per Mr...

Judge Said What To Attorney?

Posted on February 06, 2008
As reported in The Star-Ledger, The Advisory Committee on Judicial Misconduct charged that Superior Court Judge F. Michael Giles [Essex County, New Jersey] launched a tirade against Sebastian Bio when the attorney pressed him on a legal matter in 2006...

Don't Be Hatin'

Posted on February 05, 2008
Surely Ponce de Leon High School (Florida) Principal David Davis would deny it's hatin'. Decide for yourself. As reported by the Student Press Law Center: The lawsuit, filed Thursday [by a junior at the school], alleges that Principal David Davis told several students who were wearing rainbow belts and shirts and writing pro-gay expressions on their hands that supporting gay and lesbian rights was impermissible at the school...

New Rule: No Farting In School

Posted on February 04, 2008
True. As reported in The Knox County Times, Camden-Rockport Middle School in New Jersey has banned farting, apparently due to a bunch of superfarting eighth-graders. This is from the Fire Cracker, the school's newsletter: Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS...

Should He Be "Doctor Of The Day?"

Posted on February 03, 2008
Earlier this month, the North Carolina Legislature honored Dr. Bob Crummie as "doctor of the day." In addition to some interesting "deep thoughts" (see below), Dr. Bob has had a few run-ins with the law: In 1997, he was convicted of driving while intoxicated...

Short On Street Smarts?

Posted on February 02, 2008
Okay, so the 2 cops were in an unmarked car in street clothes [sort of]. But perhaps alleged prostitute Rose M. Townsend should have picked up on the following signs: Detective Osborne was wearing a tactical vest with the word "Police" in large letters! Detective Hamblin was wearing his badge on the outside of his clothing...

Bad Dog! (Don't Eat It. Eat It. Don't Eat It. Eat It.)

Posted on February 01, 2008
What would you do if your dog ate the food off your plate? Me and Devin Shane Calhoun, well sir, we'd shoot him. (Note to PETA, truly, I like dogs.) As for Mr. Calhoun, of Conifer Colorado, he definitely does not. As reported by UPI: A Conifer, Colo...

Not The Model Doctor/Patient Relationship

Posted on January 31, 2008
As reported by The College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario, here is the story of Dr. John Geoffrey Limbert of Victoria, British Columbia: This family physician cared for a female patient for five years during which time she had two pregnancies. Subsequently, he established himself as a full-time sex therapist [I think you can guess where this is going] and she sought his professional advice...

Dude Dissed A Priest For Bad Sermonizing! And Then Sued Him!

Posted on January 30, 2008
Sorry, no f-bombs. But, here's a little tale courtesy of John Browning of The Southeast Texas Record: Father Luis Alfredo Rios of St. Thomas the Apostle Church in Crystal Lake, Ill., was sued for making a "wrongful sermon" by one of his parishioners, Angel Llarona...

Whose Foreskin Is It Anyway?

Posted on January 29, 2008
Parents get divorced. Dad converts to Judaism, and wants son circumsised - and Mom doesn't. Now if I were to to tell you that the son istwelve years old, who else do you think they should ask? Yes, junior, of course! You would think someone would have thought of this before the case worked its way up to the Oregon Supreme Court! Nope - not in the 3 years the parents have been litigating this issue...

How About A Shot Of Weed Killer?

Posted on January 28, 2008
Here's how Georgia Dr. Totada R. Shanthaveerappa promoted his "Integrated Medical Specialists" and "Integrated Chemotherapy Specialists" clinics, as reported in the Gwinnett Daily Post: He advertised that his clinic practiced "safe and effective, nontoxic, scientifically-based alternative" medicine that could "cure or control most cancer and other chronic disease," according to court documents...

No Matter How Routine The Sex May Have Become ...

Posted on January 27, 2008
Yes, electricity and sex occasionally cross paths, but this is insane. Toby Taylor (37) and his wife Kirsten Taylor (29) of York County, Pennsylvania apparently used a live electrical cord to sexually stimulate each other (according to Mr. Taylor). This time, though, the shock ended up giving Ms...

Man Revokes Own Bond?

Posted on January 26, 2008
New Yorker John McDonald was charged with second-degree assault for attacking a cab driver in Aspen, Colorado. Why? Apparently he was pissed because the cabbie wouldn't take him somewhere to buy cigarettes. So, said the cabbie, McDonald popped him in the face, breaking at least one bone...

Quite The Day For Younger Brother

Posted on January 25, 2008
Here's a wacky story from Patna, India: Villagers at a wedding in eastern India decided the groom had arrived too drunk to get married, and so the bride married the groom?s more sober brother instead, police said. ?The groom was drunk and had reportedly misbehaved with guests when the bride?s family and local villagers chased him away,? Madho Singh, a senior police officer, told Reuters...

Drinking (A Lot!) And ... Riding?

Posted on January 24, 2008
The German police pulled this guy over and gave him a breath test. The results? Ten times the legal limit! So they busted him for driving while intoxicated, right? Nope. He was riding down the road in his wheelchair! Was he charged? As reported in The Fayettesville Observer: Police said that because the man was technically traveling as a pedestrian, he could not be charged with a driving offense...

Yes, Another Wacky "Motion To Continue"

Posted on January 23, 2008
Regular Juice readers no doubt remember this "Motion for Continuance." This one is not quite as funny (the bar is now pretty high), but it's still juiceworthy. In the Louisiana case of Harrell v. Spencer, et al., defense counsel filed, I shit you not, an "Unopposed Motion To Continue Trial Due To Conflict With The LSU Tiger's National Championship Game...

If You Think Your Job Is Bad ...

Posted on January 22, 2008
Think again. You are not a "manual scavenger." As described by writer Sunil Kuksal: The term ?manual scavenging? describes the daily work of manually cleaning and removing human feces from dry (non-flush) latrines across India. Workers, mostly women and young boys, are also referred to as ?night soil workers?, a Victorian euphemism that hides the repugnance of the word ?shit?...

Setting The Standard For Stalkers

Posted on January 21, 2008
Wow. There is an aerobics instructor in Winnipeg who regrets the day she said "hello" to Alanna Phizacklea, who attended the gym where the victim taught. Apparently, that "hello" was all it took, because there was nothing else that transpired between the two of them...

Oh No You Didn't Mess With My Dog

Posted on January 20, 2008
If Alexander Yermilov is saying this, you should listen. If not, you might find yourself on the business end of an ax. As reported by UPI: Prosecutors said a man in the Chita region of Russia killed two friends he found dismembering his pet dog so they could prepare a meal...

What Happens If You Skip Class At Arson University

Posted on January 19, 2008
Kansan Austin Jones found out when he and some friends tried to set an SUV ablaze. He set his own pants on fire! So he took off his pants and boxers, and took off. How do we know this is the way it went down? The incident was recorded by a neighbor's security camera...

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