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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

So, How's That Cult Going?

Posted on December 19, 2009
Hey, it's not so easy to start a cult. Just ask Tennessee resident Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey. As reported by News Channel 9: He called himself "The Impaler". He claimed to be a vampire. Now, Jonathan Sharkey can call himself an inmate. Sharkey wanted to start up a commune in rural Grundy County...

Let Me Get This Straight

Posted on December 18, 2009
Olay hires Twiggy (age 60) to promote a product (the Definity eye illuminator) that supposedly makes your eyes look younger. Said the ad, next to a photo of Twiggy ... Olay is my secret to brighter-looking eyes. There's just one small problem - the photo was airbrushed! I kid you not...

VOTE FOR THE JUICE!

Posted on December 17, 2009
Legal Juice has been nominated by the ABA as one of the top 100 blawgs for the third consecutive year! While The Juice appreciates all of the referrals he has received through the blawg, right now he would really like your vote. Please click here and vote for The Juice! Thank you, juicers everywhere...

If You Thought We Were Past People Having A Problem With Long Hair, Think Again

Posted on December 17, 2009
(Full disclosure: "Hair" is one of The Juice's top ten favorite films.) Even in late 2009, long hair is STILL an issue in some schools. The crazy thing about this story is, we're talking about a 4-year-old boy! (Click on the link at the end of the post to see his picture...

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So Threesomes Are Okay?

Posted on December 16, 2009
I know lots of states still have stupid laws criminalizing premarital sex. But the Juice found this Minnesota law to be particularly amusing. 609.34 Fornication. When any man and single woman have sexual intercourse with each other, each is guilty of fornication, which is a misdemeanor...

Sure It's A Good Idea To Make Sure You're Clean Before You Leave The House, But ...

Posted on December 15, 2009
Yeah, you generally want to be clean when you leave the house. The Juice would suggest, though, that this does not apply when it's a house you've broken into! A Texas man would beg to differ. As reported by KETK News: Around three thirty [Sunday] morning, [Tyler, Texas] officers got a call that someone had kicked in the door of a house on the 3300 block of Garden Valley Road...

Chuck Norris Is In The Protection Business?

Posted on December 14, 2009
No, it's not the "give us cash to protect yourself from us" kind of protection. Without even being there, Chuck Norris has singlehandedly ended a series of break-ins at a bakery in Split, Croatia. From the Croatian Times: Store bosses have seen off burglars by placing a life-sized photo of Hollywood action star Chuck Norris in the window...

Please Mister, Don't Kill Frosty!

Posted on December 13, 2009
Truth be told, "Snowzilla" is the real name of the 16-foot snowman in question. Some families in Anchorage, Alaska began building him in 2005. He was a huge hit. Per The Anchorage Daily News: It was just a few years ago that 16-foot-tall Snowzilla arose in a residential yard in Airport Heights, launching an annual procession of local gawkers and an international media blitz...

This Is A Strange One

Posted on December 12, 2009
Here's a wacky current Minnesota law I stumbled upon: 609.294 Bestiality. Whoever carnally knows a dead body or an animal or bird is guilty of bestiality, which is a misdemeanor. If knowingly done in the presence of another the person may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than one year or to payment of a fine of not more than $3,000 or both...

Busted For The Stickers On His Car?

Posted on December 11, 2009
You betcha. A 20-year-old construction worker named Cory Bishop got a ticket for having "indecent" stickers on his car. Where are things apparently going so well that they have time to write tickets for such a harmless "offense?" Harrisonville, Kansas...

Might As Well Have A Neon "DUI" Sign On Your Truck

Posted on December 10, 2009
Please, MADD, no emails. As a personal injury lawyer, the Juice is very aware of the dangers of drunk drivers. Fortunately, this guy didn't hurt anyone. He had the good fortune to pass out while waiting for his food in a McDonald's drive-thru in New Jersey! As reported by The Daily Journal: Police responded to the McDonald's for a report of an unconscious person in the driver's seat of a vehicle in the drive-thru line at 1:30 p...

VOTE FOR LEGAL JUICE!

Posted on December 09, 2009
Legal Juice has been nominated by the ABA as one of the top 100 blawgs for the third consecutive year! Please click here and vote for The Juice!

Woman Must Have REALLY Wanted To Ski

Posted on December 09, 2009
The Juice enjoys skiing, but this is just nuts. A Colorado woman tried to pass herself off as her boyfriend so that she could use his ski pass! From The Aspen Times: The trouble started when a woman was caught trying to use a man named Daniel's ski pass at Keystone Resort...

Perhaps The Last Place You Would Expect Someone To Grow Marijuana

Posted on December 08, 2009
Regular Juice readers will recall this recent post about a marijuana greenhouse set up just 25 feet from a police station. But what if I told you a gent grew marijuana, in prison, with the permission of the guards! And he did it for at least 5 months before he was busted! What do you think he was in for? Drugs? Yup...

VOTE FOR LEGAL JUICE!

Posted on December 07, 2009
Legal Juice has been nominated by the ABA as one of the top 100 blawgs for the third consecutive year! Please click here and vote for The Juice!

Dude - It's An Xbox - Chillax

Posted on December 07, 2009
I would bet that even troglodytes are aware of the depth and breadth of the Xbox craze. Even people in their - um - 40s are caught up in it. Even amidst this craze, I think it's fair to say this guy overreacted. As reported by WXYZ (Troy, Michigan): Clerks inside the Gamestop store at the Oakland Mall weren't allowed to talk on the record [really?], but say it was a bizarre scene that played out inside the store Wednesday around noon...

VOTE FOR LEGAL JUICE!

Posted on December 06, 2009
Legal Juice has been nominated by the ABA as one of the top 100 blawgs for the third consecutive year! Please click here and vote for The Juice!

Tow Truck Operator Jacked Up A What?

Posted on December 06, 2009
Um... A police car! A MARKED police car! Said the owner of the towing company, Gary Coe, "I think he just lost it." Gresham, Oregon police officer Tom Pohlman was resonding to an assault-in-progress at 2:20 a.m. When he was told over the radio that "They're towing you're car," Pohlman said "#@!&* + !&%*^#!" Actually, he said "You can't print my response...

Quite The Multitasker

Posted on December 05, 2009
So you think you're a good multitasker? Could you do all of this simultaneously? Light up a joint ... ... while holding a beer... ... while speeding down the road? I didn't think so. Per The Cairns Post (Australia): A driver lit up a joint while speeding past an unmarked police car with an open can of beer in his clutches, incredulous police have alleged...

VOTE FOR LEGAL JUICE!

Posted on December 04, 2009
Legal Juice has been nominated by the ABA as one of the top 100 blawgs for the third consecutive year! Please click here and vote for The Juice!

Lick My Toes And Film It With A Phone!

Posted on December 04, 2009
Gino Lee Breeze, a 20-year-old man from Wales, has a wee bit of a thin skin. Thing is, the gents he thought were joking about him, weren't. No matter, though. The wheels were set in motion as Mr. Breeze went to the home of one of the men he thought had a laugh at his expense...

VOTE FOR LEGAL JUICE!

Posted on December 03, 2009
Legal Juice has been nominated by the ABA as one of the top 100 blawgs for the third consecutive year! Please click here and vote for The Juice!

Robber Caught Sleeping On The Job

Posted on December 03, 2009
Maybe it's a good idea to give a prisoner at least a few bucks upon his release? And maybe it's not such a good idea to try to rob somebody right after you are released from jail? Anyway, this guy definitely picked the wrong woman to try to rob. From China Daily: [Mr...

What's Wrong With Checking For Aliens On The School System's Computers?

Posted on December 02, 2009
We don't know if there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe. And it seems unlikely that we'll find out by installing software on our computers to detect the presence of aliens. But that is precisely what the former director of IT for the Higley Unified School District in Arizona is accused of doing...

I Think This Guy Might Be Speeding

Posted on December 01, 2009
Video - Descente de cote en BuggyRollin

Not The Usual Context For "You Want A Piece Of This?"

Posted on December 01, 2009
And what exactly was this man referring to when he asked his neighbor if she "wanted a piece of this?" His penis! Brilliant! And of course his name is "Mr. Smart" - really. Here's the skinny, per The Cairns Post: A man taking a pee in his front yard waved his penis at the woman living next door then sprayed her car with urine during a neighbourhood row at White Rock, Cairns...

Talk About Playing It Close To The Vest ...

Posted on November 30, 2009
No doubt there are many ways to smuggle things into a country. But check out this lizard-smuggling story from KTLA-TV: A man was arrested at LAX for trying to smuggle 15 live lizards into the United States by strapping them to his chest. Special agents with the U...

Five "Security Guards" And One Streaker ...

Posted on November 29, 2009
Clearly, this man belongs in the Streaking Hall of Fame. As reported by The Times of India: Students at the varsity were stunned to see a youth walk stark naked right past them, said MSU officials. "Though it was a holiday due to Moharram, there were several students on the campus as the youth festival is on...

Really? You're Firing Me For Calling The Cops On A Shoplifter?

Posted on November 28, 2009
Former Home Depot employee Michael Boyer probably couldn't believe it either. As reported in The Detroit News: "It sounds crazy but he was not fired for confronting or physically restraining a customer. He was terminated for involving professionals, the police, to catch someone with a shopping cart full of stolen goods," said Joey Niskar, Boyer's attorney...

Honey, I TOLD You Not To Park There

Posted on November 27, 2009
Having been ticketed for almost every imaginable violation of the traffic code (parking too close to an intersection, parking too close to an alley, parking too far from the curb, parking at a broken meter [under prior law], along with all the typical violations), the Juice no longer parks illegally...

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