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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

One Year In Jail For Man With Strange Fetish

Posted on September 04, 2009
You'll have a hard time believing what this Minnesota man's fetish is, and that he will be spending a year in jail because of it. Per the Duluth News Tribune: Christopher Neil Bjerkness is not a rapist, but a Duluth judge lectured him on Wednesday that unless he stops carrying out a bizarre sexual fetish of slashing exercise balls with a knife, he could some day find himself facing an indeterminate civil commitment as a sexual psychopath...

I Don't Like The Smell Of This Proposed Honolulu Law

Posted on September 03, 2009
Oftentimes, some things you just have to live with, like, say, smells you don't like. Actually, if a proposed Honolulu bill passes, you might not, at least in Honolulu. The question is, how does one determine if an odor "unreasonably disturb[s] others or interfere[s] with their use of the transit system?" Hey, Axe disturbs me...

iPhone Catches Muggers

Posted on September 02, 2009
Great. Just what the world needs - another reason for iPhone users to brag about their beloved phones. You can bet that Carnegie Mellon University student Can Duruk will be talking it up. He was mugged the other day in Pittsburgh. Per ThePittsburghChannel...

Virginia May Be For Lovers, But Constance Bay Is For ...

Posted on September 01, 2009
Of course the Juice would never condone vandalism, but ... how about that artwork! No doubt the City of Ottawa will think twice before installing a sign with an empty panel. A skilled vandal took the opportunity to fill that empty panel with ... well ...

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Are You Saying That I Can't Have Sex With My Patient?

Posted on August 31, 2009
Not only did this doctor have sex with his patient ... he did so in his office, weekly, and at least one of those times ... her husband was in the waiting room! Per metro.co.uk: A doctor 'nearly fell off the couch' when a patient told him her husband was in a surgery waiting room outside while they had sex, a disciplinary panel heard...

Man On The Lam After Ham Slam

Posted on August 30, 2009
Mr. Joe Scola, of Gloucester, Massachusetts, heard the front door of his restaurant slam. As reported in the Gloucester Daily Times, When he glanced outside, he saw his waitress returning from a break. She asked him, "Who's that guy carrying the meat down the street?" Scola recounted yesterday...

A Little Tea With Your Mercury, Dear? ... I Mean ...

Posted on August 29, 2009
So this guy's estranged wife visited him regularly. How did he repay her kindness? He put mercury in her tea! At least five times! Why? So that when she got sick, he could take care of her, and win her back. How much jail time do you get for something like this? Zippy...

Illegal Nudity In An Art Gallery?

Posted on August 28, 2009
No nude sculptures or paintings were hauled away, but 26-year-old model KC Neill was. As reported by NBCNewYork.com: Police arrested a woman at the Metropolitan Museum of Art for stripping naked in the middle of the Arms and Armour exhibit. You can see the video here...

Burglar's Serious Chutzpah

Posted on August 27, 2009
Talk about chutzpah. Check out this burglary, as reported by Sweden's "The Local" and "Helsingborgs Dagblad" A thief in southern Sweden took time off during a weekend break-in to surf pornographic websites on a company computer ... local newspaper Helsingborgs Dagblad reports...

Are You Sure You Want To Steal THAT Car?

Posted on August 26, 2009
In this [alleged] car thief's defense, how could he have known that the POV ("personally owned vehicle") he stole belonged to a police officer. Oops. This is from the Colorado Springs Police Blotter:Summary: On 08/13/2009 at 0600, off duty Officer Ruben Crews reported his POV as stolen from his residence...

I Pity The Fool Who Sells Me Bad Beef Jerky

Posted on August 25, 2009
This story is wacky for 2 reasons: it involves a robbery due to some bad beef jerky, and the alleged robber works 2 doors down from the scene of the crime! As reported by The Cleveland Plain Dealer: Police say a Cleveland barber got so upset by what he considered bad beef jerky that he returned to the store where he bought it and tried to rob the owner...

If You Don't Like The Food, DON'T COMPLAIN

Posted on August 24, 2009
I seriously doubt that Mr. James Lewis will ever complain about his wife's cooking again. I can tell you how I know this in 2 words: fifty stitches. As reported by wral.com: Deputies responded to an assault call Friday morning on the 5000 block of Justice Branch Road and found paramedics treating James Lewis, 85, for head injuries...

Does Lightning Strike The Same Place Twice?

Posted on August 23, 2009
Oscar Reynolds Jr. was acquitted of robbing the Liberty Bank in Jonesboro, Arkansas. Guess what Mr. Reynolds was doing about a month after the acquittal? He was robbing that same bank! Unlike the first time, where he was acquitted because he could not be positively ID'd, smart money says Mr...

Bad Babysitter Arrested?

Posted on August 22, 2009
A 21-year-old woman in Sioux Falls, South Dakota was not arrested for anything she did to her 3-year-old charge. Actually, it's what she didn't do - WATCH THE CHILD - that led to her arrest. As reported in the Rapid City Journal: Police were called to an apartment building after a woman reported finding a 3-year-old girl wandering the complex about 1 a...

Oh Really? And Just How Would You Smuggle 14 Live Birds From Vietnam To Los Angeles?

Posted on August 21, 2009
It's easy to play Monday-morning bird smuggler. But do you have any better ideas? From the L.A. Now blog (by Scott Glover) of the Los Angeles Times: A man who allegedly flew from Vietnam to Los Angeles with 14 live birds hidden in his pants was one of two men indicted on smuggling-related charges today by a federal grand jury in Los Angeles...

Tasered, With A Twist

Posted on August 20, 2009
So this homeless man in Lancaster, Ohio got burned by a taser. And I mean literally "burned." Per the Lancaster Eagle Gazette, Officers said they spotted a man -- later identified as [Mr. Daniel C.] Wood -- allegedly placing the end of a can in his mouth then running away...

How To Burgle And Assure You'll Be Caught

Posted on August 19, 2009
There's just no way 48-year-old William King was going to get away with the multiple burglaries he recently committed. How do we know this? Per The Toronto Star: A man burrowed his way through drywall into two salons where he stole cash, cigarettes and a lighter, had a smoke and a bathroom break...

This Guy Really Loves His Car

Posted on August 18, 2009
I love my car, or so I thought until I read this story. As reported by krqe.com: An Albuquerque man faces indecent exposure charges after police say children saw him simulating a sex act with his car in a grocery store parking lot. Danny Brawner, 46, was indicted on two counts of aggravated indecent exposure and one count of indecent exposure for the July 28 incident in the parking lot of the Smith's Food and Drug store on 101 Coors Blvd...

Uncool Dad, Very Uncool

Posted on August 17, 2009
Definitely not the way to treat your daughter... As reported by the Gainesville Sun: Sometimes throwing pizza is a crime. That was the allegation that resulted in the arrest of a 38-year-old Gainesville man early Friday morning. The man, whose name is being withheld to protect the identity of the victim, is charged with child abuse without great harm, a felony...

Cab Driver Jumps The Gun

Posted on August 16, 2009
Cab Driver Tewfik Boukhelal jumped out of his cab - while it was moving! This was not okay with his two passengers, especially the one who was knocked unconscious as she too jumped out of the moving cab. Why did he do this? Because Mr. Boukhelal thought the passengers (1) had released a substance, and (2) were going to steal from him...

Think This Guy Can Be Rehabilitated?

Posted on August 15, 2009
He's a 38-year-old former lay minister at a Lebanon County (Pennsylvania) church, and here are his priors, per the Lebanon Daily News: [In] October 1997, he was arrested and charged with exposing himself to a Lebanon Valley College student in a college parking lot...

Yes, That Was An Alligator On Cruising By On That Bicycle

Posted on August 14, 2009
So this dude is riding his bike in St. Charles Parish (in Louisiana) with a 3-foot-long alligator around his neck. And yes, it was alive. Per the Times-Picayune, when the police approached 38-year-old Terron Ingram and the gator ... Ingram dropped the reptile and his bike and ran off, but was apprehended a few blocks away...

Burglar Foiled By Calling For A Cab?

Posted on August 13, 2009
18-year-old burglar Jake Ormerod could have called any cab company. But he didn't ... As luck would have it [bad luck, that is], the burglary victim was a cab driver. And one of things Mr. Ormerod stole from his house was a cell phone - the very phone he used to call the cab company...

Did Grandfather Grope Minnie Mouse At Disney World?

Posted on August 12, 2009
You be the judge. Mr. Moyer "was accused of touching the woman's chest and buttocks in the Toontown area of the Magic Kingdom." As reported by clickorlando.com: "I'm not guilty," Moyer told the judge. "I haven't, as the prosecution says, molested or grabbed -- maybe unintentionally touched, but that's as far as it went...

Do Not Yawn In This Judge's Courtroom

Posted on August 11, 2009
Clifton Williams could tell you why yawning in Judge Rozak's courtroom is not a good idea. Per the Chicago Tribune: As Circuit Judge Daniel Rozak handed down [Mr. Williams's] cousin's sentence -- 2 years' probation -- Williams, 33, stretched and let out a very ill-timed yawn...

What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate

Posted on August 10, 2009
From the case of Salinero v. Pon, 124 Cal.App.3d 120, 177 Cal. Rptr. 204 (1981): The owner of a six-story apartment building hired an independent contractor, the plaintiff's employer, to wash the windows of the building. No safety devices - from which window washers could be suspended - had been installed on the building...

Don't Mess With My Dog

Posted on August 09, 2009
If Alexander Yermilov is saying this, you should listen. If not, you might find yourself on the business end of an ax. As reported by UPI: Prosecutors said a man in the Chita region of Russia killed two friends he found dismembering his pet dog so they could prepare a meal...

Some Serious Polygamy

Posted on August 08, 2009
For 57-year-old truck driver Mohamed Nor of Malaysia, 3 wives and 18 kids (ages 4 to 34) are not enough. So he is seeking the permission of the Syrariah High Court to marry a fourth women. And guess who has consented to the marriage? Wives 1,2 and 3...

I'm Certain You Have NEVER Been This Drunk

Posted on August 07, 2009
Nor would you want to be, because many folks have died with lower blood-alcohol levels. Would it surprise you if a fraternity was involved? Or pledges? Five hours of drinking? Me either. Pledges to Beta Theta Pi at Lehigh University in Pennsylvania kicked off the pledging season with a bang...

To Be, Or Not To Be - A Potato Chip, That Is

Posted on August 06, 2009
Actually in the United Kingdom, what Americans call potato chips, they call "crisps." The burning question before a UK High Court judge was: Are Pringles "crisps" or not? Why is this important? Because if they are crisps, they get taxed at 17.5%! If not, they are exempt from the tax, as is most other food...

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