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Law Humor

Legal Antics

Chronicling legal humor-- because let's face it-- lawyers take themselves far too seriously and the law is damn funny if you look at it through the right lens.
By Nicole Black, Esq.

Post Frequency: 2.5/day

Last Entry: August 08, 2011 at 07:55:00

Little old ladies say the darndest things.

Posted on March 04, 2008
A regular reader emailed me to suggest the following joke. It's one of my favorites: Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called...

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

Posted on March 03, 2008
Via Volokh Conspiracy comes the following humorous snippet from the bad boys of the 9th Circuit, which is their take on their reversal rate by the Supremes: Judge Noonan: "Typical numbers are 20 out of the 16 thousand cases that...

It's funny because it's true.

Posted on February 29, 2008
Via the Billable Hour comes the following greeting card/comic:

I could have sworn el presidente was a leg man.

Posted on February 28, 2008
--Nicole Black is, among other things, a Rochester, NY DWI defense lawyer, and is of counsel to Fiandach & Fiandach, one of the largest and most experienced DWI defense firms in New York State. She also co-authors the Thomson-West book Criminal Law in New York and writes a weekly column, "Legal Currents", for The Daily Record...

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The New York state of mind

Posted on February 27, 2008
A joke for you: A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be...

The best of Ted

Posted on February 26, 2008
If you love Scrubs, you love lawyer Ted. Via the Video Venue at the Billable Hour comes the following video--a compilation of "the best of Ted":

Me thinks the judge is a bit bored.

Posted on February 24, 2008
Via Above the Law comes this fairy tale of a case, Vitaich v. City of Chicago, No. 94 C 692, 1995 U.S. Dist LEXIS 11804, at * 3-4 (N.D. Ill. Aug. 16, 1995). A snippet for your reading enjoyment: Even...

Never ask a question you don't know the answer to.

Posted on February 22, 2008
Case in point: Q. And do you remember how you were dressed [for the line-up]? A. Yeah, dress slacks and a grey short-sleeved shirt, if my memory serves me correctly. Q. Did you have a Texas Law Enforcement belt buckle...

Wassup?!?!

Posted on February 21, 2008

Wait a minute. That's a joke?

Posted on February 20, 2008
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear...

Damn those technicalities.

Posted on February 19, 2008
Via the Billable Hour's new Video Venue comes this video that teaches a valuable life lesson:

Yet another reason to avoid "lawyer-speak".

Posted on February 18, 2008
Via the Billable Hour comes the following greeting card/comic:

Life's tough for BigLaw associates.

Posted on February 15, 2008
Via the Billable Hour comes the following greeting card/comic:

George prefers one syllable words like "kick".

Posted on February 14, 2008

Read this one carefully the first time.

Posted on February 13, 2008
Professional Fighting Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians....

Not that kind of penal law.

Posted on February 12, 2008
An Attorney? Contribute to Society? Hobo to girl with two bags and seven textbooks: Damn, girl, where you goin' wid all dem books? You rob a Barnes and Noble or somethin'? You tryin'a sell your shit, too? Yeah, you know...

The circular logic of implausible deniability

Posted on February 11, 2008
From a suppression hearing transcript I recently read--a cop who decides to defy logic at all costs--because dammit, he can: Q: Did you fill out this document, Sir? A: I did. Q: And what time does it indicate that the...

It's all the same thing, isn't it?

Posted on February 08, 2008
Via the Billable Hour comes the following greeting card/comic:

Perfectly legitimate explanations, in my opinion.

Posted on February 07, 2008
The following are from actual insurance claims: My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle. When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car. I started...

Master of the obvious.

Posted on February 06, 2008
Q: Please state the location of your right foot immediately prior to impact. A: At the time my right foot was located at the extreme end of my right leg.

Palsgraf, beavis and butthead style.

Posted on February 05, 2008
Via The Billable Hour's Video Venue comes the following video:

Is honesty really always the best policy?

Posted on February 04, 2008
Via all-encompassingly comes the most brutally honest law firm rejection letter I've ever encountered: I regret, Hawaii has too many attorneys as it is, and the work just is not there, this is across the board?.I suggest Hawaii is the...

My Newest Blog

Posted on February 03, 2008
I'd like to introduce you to my newest blog: Women Lawyers--Back on Track. I started this blog with the intent of to providing women lawyers with resources and information about the legal field and to explore how they do/can happily...

Decade, century. What's the difference?

Posted on February 01, 2008
More wisdom from el presidente: "More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way." ?Martinsburg, W. Va., July 4, 2007

Don't look at me. I didn't say it.

Posted on January 31, 2008
Via The Billable Hour comes the following greeting card/comic:

Fact or fiction? You decide.

Posted on January 30, 2008
A joke for your reading enjoyment: A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true. "I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the...

Law school is as lame as...PC guy

Posted on January 29, 2008
Hat tip: Simple Justice.

A Judge With a Sense of Humor?

Posted on January 28, 2008
Perhaps. My offer of proof: U.S. District Judge Beverly B. Martin's first footnote in an Order in MC Asset Recovery v. Southern Co., No. 1:06-cv-00417: 1 Essentially, in the spirit of an old Woody Allen joke, Southern requests more time...

This is your lawyer. This is your lawyer on drugs.

Posted on January 25, 2008
A Taser? Sweet! Lawyer, offering cigarette: Need one? Non-smoking secretary: I'm gonna need something a lot stronger to deal with you today! Lawyer, exiting door to smoke: Top, right desk drawer in my office. Law office Indiana via Overheard in...

USA! USA!

Posted on January 24, 2008
Not at all law-related, but too funny not to share:

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