Law Humor

Cost Cutting: CC Equity Diet and Hammonds Forces Holiday

Posted on June 08, 2009
According to the Gazette , Magic circle firm Clifford Chance will report a 5% fall in revenue and profits ?significantly down? on last year?s £1.33bn. David Childs the firm?s global managing partner apparently said that the firm will cut around 15% of its equity partners at the end of its ongoing staff restructuring...

Trainee Retention 100% for Cleary and Bird & Bird

Posted on June 08, 2009
Like many aspects legal business, trainee retention looks to likely to suffer this year. A number of firms have already announced that retention rates will be down on last year but here we have a brace of firms defying the current trend. Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton and Bird & Bird have managed to [...

Courtoons: Keeping Up Appearances

Posted on June 08, 2009
From Courtoons

The Week: Denton?s Cash Call, Herbies Sweet Partner and Mayer Brown Associate Assistance

Posted on June 05, 2009
Politicians can’t monopolise all the excitement this week despite their best efforts… The collapse of GM is a stark sign of the times. Financial results are trickling out of firms with Denton Wilde Sapte the latest - the firm revealed a 36% fall in partner profits and also confirmed that it has asked equity partners [...

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The Joy Of Jury Duty

Posted on June 05, 2009
Since the Criminal Justice Act 2003 came into force, solicitors have been permitted to sit on juries along with other members of the public to see justice done. Although it seems like it might be an interesting oppotunity and there are cases that catch the attention of the media and the public, most probably [...

Friday Funnies: Dead Assets, Poetic Justice, Banana Business and Cheers for the Free Money

Posted on June 05, 2009
There are a lot of businesses going to the wall at the moment and for the most part creditors are normally dying to get their hands on whatever assets remain. Not in this case however -  in Massachusetts a bankrupt medical device maker, Innovative Spinal Technologies, listed nine human bodies, including "eight [...

Tightening Up - A&O NQ Salaries and Hammonds Profit Payouts

Posted on June 04, 2009
Allen & Overy has followed its Magic Circle rivals by slashing NQ salaries by £5,000 from £65,000, down to £60,000. Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer and Clifford Chance previously cut theirs from £66,000 to £59,000 and Linklaters cut theirs from £66,600 to £61,500...

A Lawyer Losing It - ?Facebook?s Madame Bovary?

Posted on June 04, 2009
Mania, paranoia, egotism, neurosis; you will probably see it all as you navigate your way through a stress-filled legal career. Hell, you migh even suffer one or two of these afflictions yourself at some point. When it gets really bad it’s probably time to take a holiday...

Solicitor and Wife Make Millions in Illegal Immigration Scam

Posted on June 04, 2009
Anyone noticed how Jacqui Smith looks more relaxed by the day. Not a huge surprise - she must be glad to be shot of the job of Home Secretary for many reasons, not least for the damning indictment of the Home Office highlighted by this case. Solicitor, Jatinder Kumar Sharma and his wife, [...

Shearman & Sterling Trainee Trimming but Delivering Dairy Deals

Posted on June 03, 2009
Following in the footsteps of Allen & Overy, trainee retention at US firm Shearman & Sterling will suffer this year. The firm will only retain 9 of its 14 London trainees when they reach the end of their training contracts. With the professional services sector still seeing significant headwinds, we expect to see trainee [...

Define ?Business Casual?

Posted on June 03, 2009
Dress codes at work are one of those things that normally start out simple and easy to interpret but can easily degenerate into mayhem when indiduals get the opportunity for a bit of self-expression. This probably happened in the early days of dress-down Friday (for those old enough to remember that dawning) but over [...

Legal Gossip - Quickie Divorce for Andre and Price

Posted on June 03, 2009
The perma-tanned couple have apparently agreed to a quick divorce as hostilities have escalated in the tabloid press. Lawyers have been appointed on both sides with Jordan instructing celebrity favorite Fiona Shackleton of Payne Hicks Beach and Peter Andre appointing Stephen Foster of litigation boutique Stewarts Law ...

Redundancy Watch: Barlow Lyde & Gilbert

Posted on June 02, 2009
It may be sunny but its not so bright as Barlows launches a redundancy consultation putting 49 jobs under threat. The consultation will affect all fee earners, secretarial and business services staff. The practice ares likely to be hit hardest were not specified...

Jacqui Smith to Fight Savage Legal Action - Life more ironic than fiction?

Posted on June 02, 2009
The politics of the incident aside for a moment, there is something heavily ironic about this legal sabre rattling. Take a step back for a second - the Home Secretary wields somewhat authoritrian powers over a select group of individuals for what they have said in public by banning them from entering the [...

Courtoons: Summer Hots Up

Posted on June 02, 2009
From Courtoons In this heat, yes it is… but we love it

Big Deal: GM Bankruptcy Bonanza, Ashurst Motors on M25, More Banking Bonuses for Links and Slaughters

Posted on June 01, 2009
As another giant bankruptcy proceeding sets into motion in the US, the effects reverberate all over Europe. General Motors’ collapse and subsequent restructuring is no doubt a worry for factory workers in Luton and Ellesmere Port but a raft of lawyers across the US and Europe will be rubbing their hands together...

Injured? - Try Jim ?The Hammer? Shapiro

Posted on June 01, 2009
When it comes to lawyers with wrestler-esque nicknames, the closest we get over here is Nick Freeman; otherwise known as Mr Loophole for his knack at getting celebrities off driving offences. So far though, we haven’t seen Mr Freeman advertising his skills quite like this (and his moniker isn’t quite as purposeful either)…

Anonymous Assistant: Material Non-Disclosure

Posted on June 01, 2009
The saga continues… There is a rule in litigation which says that clients must entrust the retrieval of their documents to their most feckless office junior; provide him with no guidance as to which ones are relevant, but instruct him to throw everything into a dog-eared cardboard box and deliver them to us with absolutely no discernible way [...

The Week: Economic Bellwether - Redundancies, Property Departments or Latvian Hookers?

Posted on May 29, 2009
The indicators for the country’s economic health are visible in all walks of life but if you’re like us you’ll look to what you know. So corporate lawyers will be looking at their deal flow, property lawyers will be waiting for their developer clients to dust off the mothballs and every assistant, associate and [...

Financial Fiddlers. Go Big or Go Home.

Posted on May 29, 2009
After all of the recent fraud revelations, this one might seem like small fry until you see the sentence. British man Robert Tringham, 64, from Knebworth, Herts, has been charged in the United States over a $7 million (£4.39 million) investment fraud...

Private Eye Revelations Lead to Napier Step Down from LSB

Posted on May 29, 2009
When news that Private Eye had managed to prevent Michael Napier, former President of the Law Society , from using an injunction to stop it publishing details of a complaint against him lawyers everywhere quivered at the possibility that rulings against any lawyer accused of misconduct could now be publicised...

Revenue Review: Camerons and Lovells Up, Ashurst and Eversheds Down

Posted on May 28, 2009
CMS Cameron McKenna was the first of the major London law firms to announce its 2008-09 results. Revenue was up by a slither at 2% but profits were down around 15%. So in real terms PEP has dropped from last year?s figure of £655,000 to £554,000 and total profits were down 14%, from £84m [...

Judges? Fashion Tips for Females

Posted on May 28, 2009
A panel of US judges has criticised some female lawyers for wearing sexy and revealing clothing in the courtroom on the grounds that it distracts everyone from the quality of the lawyers? arguments. Obviously, this is less of a problem in UK, where male and female lawyers alike are expected to wear gowns at [...

Lucky 13: Trainees Defer for Year at Dentons

Posted on May 28, 2009
Back in April , Denton Wilde Sapte contacted some of its future trainee solicitors requesting them to push back their start dates by a year. Thirteen trainees have taken up the firm?s offer and will be in line to receive a payment of up to £10,000 for their 12 months off...

Redundancy Watch: Herbert Smith

Posted on May 27, 2009
The fallout from yet another redundancy consultation hits as Herbert Smith completes its April review. Eighty-four members of staff have been laid off in London. Twenty-four positions have been axed from the firm?s corporate team along with nine paralegals...

If you thought A&O?s Deidre Dare was Risque; Try Former Sidley Austin Associate, ZZ?s ?China High?

Posted on May 27, 2009
The ex-pat lifestyle of young lawyers working for large international firms has had some intriguing exposure with Deidre Dare’s recent revelations. Her offline and online antics and subsequent dismissal from A&O’s Moscow office ensured maximum publicity and a new career in writing but if that left you a little wanting, then you might want [...

Thompsons Trade Union Tie Up

Posted on May 27, 2009
More consolidation in the legal market as trade union lawyers Thompsons merge with rival Rowley Ashworth. The combined firms make up the largest trade union firm in the UK. The firms act for Unison, Unite and the GMB which refer personal injury  work from their members...

Redundancy Watch: Bircham Dyson Bell and Pannone. Freshfields? Trainee Tips and Shoosmiths? Senior Shuffle.

Posted on May 26, 2009
Welcome back to the cheerful reality of the legal job market. Bircham Dyson Bell has cut 15 jobs following a consultation launched in mid-March. Five fee-earners and 10 secretarial and support staff jobs have been slashed mainly in the corporate and real-estate departments...

50% Tax Owed on Sale of Virginity

Posted on May 26, 2009
It’s not every day someone gets had up by the tax man for losing their virginity but… German inland revenue investigators are looking to claim 50% of the money that a teenage student earned for ‘auctioning’ her virginity online because they claim it was "tantamount to prostitution...

Courtoons: Future Corporates

Posted on May 26, 2009
Get the feeling that some lawyers have it easier than others… From Courtoons

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