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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

Crime Doesn't Pay

Posted on April 07, 2009
Longtime Juicers may remember this one. Rockproof.

Posted on April 06, 2009
Darren Mirren, age 16, had an interview scheduled with a commercial cleaning company. He didn't show. When they called him, he said he didn't know how to find the office. So they rescheduled the interview. Again he didn't show. Prepare yourself for this: He didn't get the job! OMG...

Poop Suit

Posted on April 05, 2009
What do you do when your kid steps in poop? Here's what one woman did, as reported by UPI:[Norwalk, Connecticut] City Attorney M. Jeffry Spahr said Kelly DeBrocky of Mahopac, N.Y., filed suit against the city April 7, seeking $100 compensation for her child's ruined shoes and tickets for Maritime Aquarium -- which the mother said her family had to leave early because of the incident -- The (Stamford, Conn...

If You're Not Ready For The Test ...

Posted on April 04, 2009
Kids, if you're not ready for the test, do NOT go down this road. As reported by Northland's News Center: A school in Duluth received quite the scare Monday. Around noon, the Nettleton Magnet School was evacuated after a 911 call claimed that someone was shot on the campus...

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A Case Of Life Imitating Art?

Posted on April 03, 2009
Two friends, Robert John (age 20) and Carl Thorpe (age 26) ran into each other in town. They had a few drinks and returned to Mr. Thorpe's apartment to watch a DVD "featuring football [soccer] hooligans," as reported by the BBC. [The DVD] featured footage of fans biting each other...

Some Seriously Strange Bonding

Posted on April 02, 2009
This takes BFF to a whole nother level. As reported by WKBW - TV in Buffalo, New York: City of Tonawanda Police tell us of a most bizarre scene on Longs Avenue early Monday morning. It started with a call to law enforcement, after Longs Avenue Resident Jenny Stickles reported her car stolen...

What About This Idea For Getting To And From The Bar?

Posted on April 01, 2009
A motorized barstool! Think about it. You hop on it at home, drive right into (and up to) the bar, down a few, then drive back home. Brilliant! The proud owner, Kile Wygle, said it can go 38 mph! Luckily for him, he was "only" going 20 mph when he crashed...

Oh No You Didn't Just Try To Rob THAT Village

Posted on March 31, 2009
Criminals don't always make the best decisions. Here's an excellent example, as reported by the South Asian Post: Angry villagers in eastern India [Jharkhand] burned eight robbers and beat four others to death, police said. About 20 robbers raided a remote village in Jharkhand state, but were surrounded by hundreds of villagers, who began chasing them, the police said...

Can Employers and Employees Drop The F-Bomb in Italy?

Posted on March 30, 2009
Yes, and no. Okay, maybe. According to the Court's latest ruling, yes. According to some prior rulings, no. Read on, from ANSA.it: It is OK to say ''Who the f*** do you think you are?'' to a boss as an ''instinctive'' reaction to being reprimanded, Italy's highest court said Thursday...

What Part of "No Omelette" Do You Not Understand?

Posted on March 29, 2009
Ravi, the husband, wanted an omelette for dinner. And he's not real flexible (at least he wasn't at the time). Wife Kavitha, a school teacher, didn't feel like cooking no stinkin' omelette. After an argument, she began chopping onions for the omelette...

Streets Safe For Swedish Strip Club Ads?

Posted on March 28, 2009
Tired of the same old billboards? You wouldn't be, if you were in Sweden. Some Swedish legislators were upset by mobile billboard ads for strip joints. Per The Local: ?It?s degrading to continually be confronted with cars whose main purpose is to drive around Stockholm?s streets in the evenings ? with naked women as the focal point ? serving as advertisements for strip clubs,? wrote Sylvia Lindgren and Veronica Palm ...

The Lake Oswego Police Blotter

Posted on March 27, 2009
It's been a slow few days in Lake Oswego, Oregon, a town where, apparently, folks will call the police for just about anything. Here are a few highlights from the police department's records, as reported by the Lake Oswego Review: 3/16/09 3:21 p.m...

Mrs. Kobe, Mrs. Kobe, Mrs. Kobe

Posted on March 26, 2009
If I titled the post "Vanessa Bryant, Vanessa Bryant ...." would you know who I was talking about? No. But like Prince, Shaq, and Magic, everybody knows who Kobe is. Now they're also going to know a little more about his wife Vanessa, thanks to a lawsuit filed by the couple's former housekeeper, Maria Jimenez, for wrongful termination, among other things...

Take That Stinking Parking Ticket And ...

Posted on March 25, 2009
So this British woman (Penny Batkin) is driving her disabled son (he's 4, can't walk or talk, and has frequent seizures) to a hospice when she hears him gasping for air, as reported by The Telegraph. Of course she immediately pulls over to resuscitate him, which she does...

How About Theses Excuses For Speeding?

Posted on March 24, 2009
Here are some interesting excuses offered by speeding drivers, as recalled by a Tennessee judge and some police officers, as reported by The Murfreesboro Post: ... When he asked why she sped, the driver replied, ?My colon has fallen in my vaginal canal...

Killjoys In Tremonton, Utah

Posted on March 23, 2009
I guess, once upon a time (and still? - okay, let me have it, Tremontonians), certain animal behavior was popular in Tremonton, Utah. From the Tremonton City Ordinances: 13-221. Unlawful Acts. It shall be unlawful for any person to ... (4) ... let any male animal to any female animal for the purpose of providing entertainment or viewing to any person...

Flower Fight Leads To A Severed ...

Posted on March 22, 2009
No, not that. Read on... So 65-year old Pamela Fox thought 50-year-old neighbor Marija Andric harmed her flowers. Ms. Fox then allegedly "poured a caustic substance over the borders and lawn of [Ms.] Andric," per The Telegraph. But that wasn't the end of it...

"He's A Good Dog." I Think The Mailman Would Disagree

Posted on March 21, 2009
OMFG. Make sure you click on the link at the end of the post to see a picture of mailman Gary Bloom's face. He was just making the rounds in Springfield, Missouri when the dog literally attacked HIS FACE. As reported by ky3.com: The Springfield-Greene County Health Department quarantined the dog for a mandatory 10 days...

A Candidate For The World's Worst Driver

Posted on March 20, 2009
If there is a worse driver out there, I'd be shocked (unless it's the guy in this Juice post). As reported in The Hamilton Spectator, here are some highlights of Toronto resident Gloria O'Neill's driving history: Her driver?s licence was suspended as far back as 1978, when she was just 21...

Former MP's Friend Not Very Helpful In Court

Posted on March 19, 2009
Former Labour MP Helen Clark (Peterborough, Cambridgeshire) is in the soup for some things she allegedly said to a barmaid. You know things are probably not going well when your "friend" testifies ... "I felt she had had a lot to drink. I felt she was out of control...

Pub Owner Faces The Music

Posted on March 18, 2009
Nobody likes a noisy neighbor. What if you lived next to a bar that cranked out music - outside - from 9 p.m. - 3 a.m., from 5 speakers, nonstop? Such was the fate of some folks in Barcelona, Spain. As reported at canada.com: A court in Barcelona said three persons living near the city's Donegal pub "developed depressive anxiety syndrome that needed medical treatment" due to the noise ...

Dude, You're iTouch Is On Fire - No, I Mean It's Really "On Fire"

Posted on March 17, 2009
Perhaps the Apple iTouch has been out so long that it's no longer "hot." A 15-year-old Ohio boy would beg to differ. Seems he bought an iTouch in November 2008. As alleged in the Complaint filed in Federal Court in Ohio: On December 4, 2008 ...Plaintiff ...

Judges Speed Too, And This One Lies

Posted on March 16, 2009
Nobody likes getting a speeding ticket. But how far would you go to beat it? If you are Australian Judge Marcus Enfield (former Judge, that is), you'd go pretty damn far. As reported at abc.net.au (and brought to The Juice's attention by John in Australia), Mr...

Yes, You Want To Get To Court On Time, But ...

Posted on March 15, 2009
No doubt you should always be on time for a court appearance. But let's say you don't have a ride, and there's this car sitting over there ... Yup, he [allegedly] stole it! As reported by the Cincinnati Enquirer: Spinnie, 42, of Norwood, is accused of stealing a Chevrolet Uplander on Tuesday in order to get to his 9 a...

How To Get Sundays Off In South Carolina ...

Posted on March 14, 2009
If you're scheduled to work on Sunday in South Carolina, how about this little ditty from the South Carolina Code: Any employee of any business which operates on Sunday under the provisions of this section has the option of refusing to work in accordance with Section 53-1-100...

Man In Restaurant Busted For 2 F-Bombs

Posted on March 13, 2009
Is it criminal to be incredibly rude and demeaning? If so, then this New Yorker dining out in Galveston, Texas is surely guilty. Here's what happened, as reported in The Galveston County Daily News: A Galveston officer was enjoying an early dinner at 4:15 p...

And I Thought Airline Security Was Crazy In The U.S.

Posted on March 12, 2009
The Juice abhors vagueness. The European Union register of hand-luggage restrictions (which, by the way, was secret until last year!) prohibits passengers from bringing "any blunt instrument capable of causing injury" on the plane, as reported by The Austrian Times...

F-Bombs Hurled At Judge; "No You" Says Judge. The Result?

Posted on March 11, 2009
So the police respond to a call regarding a gas station burglary. At the scene, they see old Bullock trying to hide. When told to halt, he runs - and crashes through a plate glass window. He was caught and taken to the hospital. When the cuffs were removed, and put on with his hands in front of him so he could be treated, he ran again! He was caught again, charged with unauthorized entry and simple escape, and convicted on both counts...

Not The Kind Of "Calling Card" You Want To Leave At The Scene

Posted on March 10, 2009
If you're going to break into a tavern and steal 4 1/2 cases of beer, it's not a good idea to leave YOUR LIBRARY CARD ON THE FLOOR. Yes, these are allegations, but it sure doesn't look good for 34-year-old Kristopher Lehnhardt of Sheboygan, Wisconsin...

That's Not A Letter Sticking Out Of The Mailbox

Posted on March 09, 2009
What else would you put in a mail slot on a door other than a letter? A penis, or course. Such was the case with Mr. Bryan Owens. And it wasn't easy. As reported in The Sun: Prosecutor Paul Caulfield said: ?He had adapted the draft excluder to make a hole wide enough for him to stick his penis through so others could see it...

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