Law Students

Nyquil Commercial- The one With the Roommate

Posted on February 07, 2008
You know which one I'm talking about, right?The girl is walking around her apartment looking like shit, obviously feeling like shit, and her overly perky roommate comes home, and says "oh my god!!! Are you sick? You need nyquil!" and then she goes and gets nyquil for her roommate, and then goes on with the whole "you'll sleep like a baby, or like a puppy or like a blah blah blah," and then the sick roommate says "like before I had a roommmate?"You know what? That's a fucking bitchy thing to say...

Football

Posted on February 03, 2008
Why I Love It:- Daytime drinking- Gambling- Screaming at television sets- Chicken Wings- Having the sound of thousands cheering fans in the background of my condo every Sunday morning, so I can pretend the fans are really cheering for the good job I'm doing with the Swiffer...

Charity

Posted on January 29, 2008
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. My computer is in the shop getting fixed. Because it's broken. Speaking of broken things, my car is also broken. Anyway, so that's why I'm not posting. Because I don't think the tax payers want me blogging from work...

Being a lawyer is GLAMOROUS!!!

Posted on January 22, 2008
I have a fabulous friend. Her name, for purposes of this blog, is Fury Berlin. This is an email that Ms. Berlin sent to me describing her morning at the courthouse."So I go in today on a status for one of the partners (same case that I got sent to where I showed up for ?status? and plaintiff?s counsel was there for trial)...

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The Beginning of a New Friendship

Posted on January 15, 2008
On 1/14/08, Sandra James wrote:Dearest One,I am writting this letter with due respect and heartful of tears since wehave not known or met ourselves previously I am asking for your assistanceafter I have gone through a profile that speaks good of you. I want to find out if it's possible for you to deal with individual as to investment...

Goodness Knows, the Wicked's Lives Are Lonely

Posted on January 12, 2008
People can be good for people. In the last ten days or so, I've been hanging out with some seriously high quality people. And I think it makes me a better person.For example, today I was on my way to pick up a friend to take her to lunch, and my CD player broke while my Wicked CD was inside...

Personal Day

Posted on January 10, 2008
So, I took a "personal day" today. Back when I worked in the entertainment industry, if I called in to my boss and said "I'm taking a personal day" I would get laughed at. I once actually had to show up to work hours after a botched wisdom tooth extraction when I was bleeding my face off...

Nothing Really To Say

Posted on January 09, 2008
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. There's really no good reason. Except my internet at home isn't really working. And I don't really have anything to say. So here are some non-newsworthy items. 1. I got a new dry cleaner. They seem nice.And that's pretty much all I got...

My thoughts on Polygamy

Posted on December 30, 2007
I think about polygamy a lot when I'm ironing.It doesn't sound so bad. I mean, it needs to be changed up a bit. the whole religion part of it isn't going to fly. And the fact that the "sister-wives" don't um... have... their own fun as a group is a bit preposterous...

The Nicest Christmas Hater Ever

Posted on December 23, 2007
I sat on the bus, reading my book. I was dressed how I dress nearly everyday: black skirt suit, black heels, black overcoat, pearls. Nothing that reveals much about my personality. Two girls get on the bus. They're sort of dressed... well...let's just say I might be able to hazard a guess as to their sexual orientation...

Dear 72.94.142 from Allentown, PA,

Posted on December 16, 2007
Hey there!!! You're one of the anonymous lurkers who leaves threatening/insulting/creepy messages on my blog. I'm sure you're not the only one, but you're one of the best!!!! Yay, you!But wait. It's not just me, is it? No.It's her. And her. And her...

My Night

Posted on December 10, 2007
New Lingerie: $88Taking a Cab from the El Station to ensure I wouldn't be late: $6.00Bottle of Wine Back at My Place: $18.00Whimsically Offering to Pay Half the Dinner Bill: $34.00________Listening to My Ex Talk about the the NEW Ex?: Priceless.Wait...

The Dog and Me- A Dialogue Part III

Posted on December 01, 2007
Me: You KNOW how hard I am trying to keep a positive attitude about the holiday season. You know I'm tired of being called a grinch. Why in the world would you break my brand new Santa candy dish and eat all the M&M's? Why? Why? Why?Dog: Because people who talk to dogs deserve to have their Santa candy dishes broken, you dumb whore...

Dear Asshole at the Red Line entrance this evening,

Posted on November 26, 2007
That's right. You're a complete asshole. What kind of person watches someone slip down a flight of stairs (yes, readers, Grace has no grace. Apparently Grace also refers to herself in the third person, but that's a separate issue) and instead of saying "oh my god are you ok?" shakes their head disapprovingly and says, "Why do you wear those?" referring to my shoes? I'll tell you what kind of person does that: A TOTAL FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!Seriously...

Grace Meets Grace

Posted on November 22, 2007
Today, I went to my mother's house for Thanksgiving dinner. My sister brought along her new puppy.Her new puppy. Who she named GRACE. Yes. My big sister named her dog Grace. And not Grace, as in my pseudonym for this blog. I mean, my REAL name.Here's what the night sounded like:"Grace, congrats on getting sworn in as a lawyer!""Ooops! Grace made a poopie on the kitchen floor!""Grace, how's your new condo?""Grace is eating the cat's food again!""Grace! NO! NO!""Look at how cute Grace is!""Grace! NO BEGGING! NO!""Grace...

Ready. Set. Fuck You, Holidays

Posted on November 21, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving.

Sometimes I Just Need a Man to Toss My Salad

Posted on November 14, 2007
And Alejandro is just that man.I'm cheating on my salad bar. With Alejandro.I love my salad bar, because I love the idea of getting exactly what I want. And that's what a salad bar is all about. Choices. Well, you know sometimes I don't want to make choices...

Dear My Dead Junkie,

Posted on November 05, 2007
I'm sorry to refer to you like that in the title of a post. It sounds like I'm almost trying to make a joke. I'm not. I just can't call you by your name, and I can't call you by a fake name, because that seems like something you'd hate.You died a year ago today...

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