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Thanks, But No Thanks. 
Post Frequency: 84.8/day Last Entry: November 18, 2009 at 23:53:00 Recent Entries: 339
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So. Freaking. Awesome.
Posted on November 18, 2009You cannot possibly tell me this is not the most awesome thing you have seen all week. Unless you've seen live elephants. Which I have a soft spot for.Also: This blog does not condone the maltreatment of penguins, on account of the fact that you never rough up guys in tuxedos.
Tonight
Posted on November 18, 2009...is the night I have my total emotional meltdown over law school.Please send cookies.
Law School Roundup #199
Posted on November 17, 2009Welcome to this week's Law School Roundup, the "Oh NO, Its November!" Edition.Without further ado...Tenure: It explains so much (Awkward Turtle)That's What They're Calling It These Days: Why November in the law school is a little...off. (The Corner in the Middle)Just Off: When law school puts you in a funk...
Is it so much to ask, really?
Posted on November 14, 2009All I want is to not, upon reading an article think "Aw, crap. We could totally get sued for this." Remember when I thought that I had terrified my 2Ls into productivity and fabulousness?Foolish, foolish, me. We have a publication deadline on Monday and (fun fact!) the perfect storm of authors who like to make crazy (read: libelous) accusations about other institutions, and 2Ls who figure "Eh! Who needs citations anyway?"So yes: the Journal's going well, thanks for asking...
You're all a bunch of pushers.
Posted on November 10, 2009In other recent news, I signed up for twitter.Please believe that I will be using this an excuse for shoddy blogwork. You brought it on yourself.
Law School Roundup #198
Posted on November 09, 2009This week's Law School Roundup is posted over at Beyond The Underground.Tune in next week, same great place and time, for Law School Roundup #199.
It must be something in the water.
Posted on November 06, 2009Our house is just full 'o smart kids: Roommate's paper just got accepted for publication.Yeah, I knew her before she was famous.Too bad the MPRE is spoiling our toasting time...bubbles to follow when we've crossed that hurdle.
When nerdiness meets 3L-itis
Posted on November 05, 2009Because I like writing, pain, and being over-committed, I am doing a research paper for a professor this semester. If you know me, it will come as no surprise that I am tragically, desperately, and hopelessly behind on every. single. deadline. we agreed upon...
To twit, or not to twit?
Posted on November 03, 2009Twitter? Maybe?Its a balance between my natural loathing of the medium and my need for attention and self-promotion.Also, I sort of think that if I twitter, I might blog more, on account of the fact that I could do it in 140 characters. Or less....I'm just not sure I'm that kind of girl...
This one time, at law school...
Posted on November 02, 2009...I met David Lat. And it was awesome.I mentioned this some time ago, but then the fury of law school rained down upon my head, and I lost track of the post. Anyway, here's how it went down:I had to be in Northern California for Family Wedding Shenanigans (Am emotionally scarred...
Law School Roundup #197
Posted on November 01, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #197.Here's this week's collection of good posts from law students current, future, and recovering...Lesson learned: On how not to do law school (Starting to Melt)Totally Dysfunctional: Law school- it's not just fun that dies here (Awkward Turtle)Law School LOLCat: This one has been making the rounds (Chronicles of a Blawgirl)Slippers: Sometimes, love is in the footwear...
Could not be a worse way to spend a Sunday
Posted on November 01, 2009...than sitting in 4 hours of BarBri MPRE prep.Ugh.
The Write-On Really Wasn't Worth It.
Posted on October 28, 2009It has been a while since you've gotten an update on The Journal of Fun and Wonderment, Internet.This is not because the JFW has not been a thrilling whirlwind of joy and bubbles. Rather, this is because I have been taking the same approach to the Journal as I do to that dent in my car, Admin Law, and people who pass gas in class: if you just ignore it for long enough, it might go away...
One, two, three...liftoff!
Posted on October 27, 2009Southwest is having an amazing 72 hour sale right now- $25 for flights 0-374 miles, $50 for 375-549, $75 for flights 550-999, and $100 for flights 1000+.I'm flying home for vacation for dirt cheap.Go. Now. Two free checked bags. Fly for cheap!This is my good deed for the week...
Three things you don't want to hear in late October
Posted on October 26, 20091. Hmmmmm. Well. I've never seen a computer do that before.2. I think you need a new motherboard.3. But you can turn that article in early, right?....I can only assume swine flu and a rapid coyote attack are on the agenda for Tuesday. Super.
Law School Roundup #196
Posted on October 26, 2009This week's law school roundup is up over at The Legal Underground.Check back here next week, same great place and time, for next week's roundup.
This is a teaser.
Posted on October 23, 2009I met David Lat!Details and reviews to follow when I've safely settled back into the school routine. And planned my new career as a legal blogger.
Three facts
Posted on October 21, 20091. I have known Darwin for two years as of round about...now.2. Not to be all mushy on y'all, but: oh wow have those two years been improved by the addition of one critter-saving, bad-joke humoring, good date-making, perfect couch cuddling, charmer of a gentleman...
In which I must settle for M & Ms. Which are awesome.
Posted on October 21, 2009I did not get the clerkship with Judge Godiva. The clerkship scene is unbelievably dismal (See: recession, job market, general economic suckitude), so it isn't any great surprise, and I find it hard to get too beat up over it. The judge was kind enough to give the final-round candidates an update on who he did hire...
Law School Roundup #195
Posted on October 20, 2009Without further ado, here is Law School Roundup #195....Poetic: Whitman on Palsgraf (1L Poet)Social Graces: On Meth Molly, and timing (No. 634)Sound advice for 0Ls: Children of the LSAT, calm yourself (i don't wear skinny jeans) Getting it Wrong: On the pressure to blog, with excellence ((In)Sanity Souffle)Calculus: On deciding whether you like a class...
Epic fail.
Posted on October 14, 2009Tonight, I tried to sneak up behind Sofa the Cat to scare her. I jumped and hooted.I think I pulled a muscle in my butt. It feels like when you pull your quad, only more debilitating and humiliating, and less likely to earn you roommate sympathy for your whiny antics...
Law School Roundup #194
Posted on October 12, 2009The Law School Roundup for this week is up at the Legal Underground.The Roundup is hosted in alternating weeks here at Thanks, But No Thanks and The Legal Underground. It features good blog posts from law students over the course of the week- if you want to be featured, the first step is get on the blogroll, so shoot me an email so you can get added...
This is a public service announcement
Posted on October 08, 2009Dear Giggly Undergrad,Leggings are not pants.Stop taking cues from Lindsay Lohan: she's on crack. Literally.Also, I can see your underwear. Nice polka dots.Kisses,NB
Watch your back, nasal talker guy.
Posted on October 06, 2009I just got this email from Roommate. It made me laugh out loud. These are the kind of things we do in class:----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To: me @ gmail.comFrom: Roommate @ noschool.eduSubj: I will kill this guy...
Law School Roundup #193
Posted on October 06, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #193!Without further ado...Secret Weapon: Using ninja skills to stay abreast of class (Law School Ninja)Confusing on so many levels: Why is Paula Abdul in your law school's advertising? (No. 634)Jammin': Legal practice, set to music (Now That I'm Awake)And now for something completely different: A tasty way to empty out that freezer (tales of the basil queen)New Friends: On neighbors, and talking to strangers (Exhibit L)Germs: H1N1 is worse than cooties (My Little Green Diary)Kids these days: On beer and STDs (the Rising Jurist)Family Tradition: A casebook worth reading?! (Pay the Money and Take a Shot)Bow to the Power of the 3Ls: Power corrupts...
Sheer Marketing Genius
Posted on September 30, 2009Roommate recently forwarded me this article about a couple who had their wedding at Wal-Mart.Romantic, right?Anyway, this is my thought: How could this not make the most awesome reality show ever? Think about it. Trap 10 engaged couples in a Super Wal-Mart for 48 hours...
Law School Roundup #192
Posted on September 27, 2009The weekly law school roundup is up over at The Legal Underground.The Roundup is hosted in alternating weeks here at Thanks, But No Thanks and The Legal Underground. It features good blog posts from law students over the course of the week- if you want to be featured, the first step is get on the blogroll, so shoot me an email so you can get added...
Kind of a big deal
Posted on September 25, 2009Hey look guys, I'm faaaaaamous!Bitter Lawyer did a piece on their ten favorite student law blogs- and Thanks, But No Thanks made the list! Check out my (largely inane) interview on their site, and scope out some of the other candidates.Yeah, its the big time.
In Which Being A Gunner Doesn't Pay Off
Posted on September 23, 2009Nobody: Prof. Crim Pro, I would like to talk to you about my grade last semester.Prof. Crim Pro: Go for it, Nobody. Let's talk.Nobody: Well, I got a B and...Prof. Crim Pro: Ha! Really?!Nobody: Yes, and....well. I was hoping that I could go over my final with you...
Outlining 101: On Figuring Out What This "Outline" Thing Is, Anyway.
Posted on September 22, 2009Recently, one of the test prep companies on campus made the (grievous) mistake of inviting me to come in and speak to the 1Ls on "Survival Tips for Your 1L Year."Hey. Quell your laughing, guys. They were serious, though I sort of suspect I was their backup choice...
So You Think You Can Blawg...
Posted on September 21, 2009It's fall, loyal readers- and fall brings with it new classes, fresh blood at the law school, and of course, absurdly high hopes for my chronically disappointing football team. And Halloween candy. But that's another story. This blog post is not about The Little Football Team That Broke My Heart, or why those candy corn pumpkin things are the vilest food creation on the planet except for fried oysters...
Law School Roundup #191
Posted on September 20, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #191!The Roundup is hosted in alternating weeks here and at The Legal Underground. It features good blog posts for the week from law students past, present, and future. Today's Roundup is extra-long, because I've been a lackdasical blogger this week, and, even as good as Jansen is, you can only spend so long catching up at No...
Internet, meet Sputnik.
Posted on September 19, 2009The Nobody Law School Family is growing.As longtime readers know, the Nobody Law School Family currently encompasses Roommate (partner in crime, general voice of reason), Darwin (that lovely boy who dates/loves/tolerates me and talks me off of cliffs) and Sofa the Cat (squishy lap warmer)...
Law School Roundup #190
Posted on September 13, 2009Law School Roundup #190 is up over at the Legal Underground.Check back here, same great place and time, for next week's roundup.
Most. Inspiring. Interview. Ever.
Posted on September 11, 2009I had my phone interview with Judge Godiva's clerks today. I sat out on the lawn, where I had cell phone reception and the comfort of a nice fall afternoon.It went well, mostly. Oh, except for the part where they asked "Tell us what you know about Judge Godiva," and without warning, every speaker on campus started blaring "It's My Life...
Roommate is such a good influence on me.
Posted on September 11, 2009This morning, I made coffee. Roommate and I were dismayed to find that there was no creamer left (we like our coffee like we like out men: sweet, rich, and good with bagels in the morning). We tried to problem solve by using milk, but the milk had just started to turn, and we were left with black coffee...
Curiouser and curiouser: On uninvited guests.
Posted on September 10, 2009Recently, we received a notice from our apartment management that the maintenance guys would be coming in to replace some faucets. Since our showerheads were older than Methuselah, there was much rejoicing in the Nobody household. Hooray! Water pressure! Sometime during the Designated Week of Changing Faucets, I was in my room doing my morning routine (read: rocking out while half dressed)...
What Next?
Posted on September 09, 2009After graduation, law students face a plethora of scary alternatives to the student life exciting options. Back in the economic glory days, we called these things "opportunities." Now they are more appropriately characterized as "Things which will stress you out when your mother asks about them...
Law School Roundup #189
Posted on September 06, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #189. At this point in the year, you're reluctantly getting back into the swing of things, or realizing with that horrible sinking feeling that when they said 2L was easier...they lied. Or maybe you're a 3L, and you're off perfecting your golf swing and denying economic reality for another few months...
Auspicious search results
Posted on September 03, 2009Great news: "Something dead in my wall" is in my top 10 search phrases on Google Analytics. You're welcome, Internet.
Peas. Pod.
Posted on September 02, 2009Phew. Ok, several whirlwind weeks of training and terrorizing the 2Ls (hi guys) and writing stern emails to my recalcitrant authors, and coercing sweet talking Darwin into helping me clean the Journal office, and we are finally up, running, and ready to go...
Law School Roundup #188
Posted on September 01, 2009Law School Roundup #188 is up at the Legal Underground.Check back here, same great place and time, for next week's Roundup.
In Which I Go to Jail.
Posted on August 30, 2009Tomorrow, I go diving into the real world* head first. I'm externing at the county jail.Yeah. Me. The jail.NoSchool has a really cool program where our desperately overworked public defenders take on third year interns for 8 weeks. The benefit for the public defenders: free labor, an ease on the caseload, someone to get coffee...
Law School Roundup #187
Posted on August 25, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #187. Without further ado*:Law Review: It ought to come with a warning label (A Woman in Law School)Staying out of trouble: Solid advice for blawggers, from the ever-relevant Dennis Jansen (No. 634)That Girl: Gossip's not an Honor Code violation, it's a way of life...
Law School Roundup #186
Posted on August 18, 2009This week's Law School Roundup is up over at Legal Underground. Check back here next week, same great place and time, for roundup #187.
Welcome to hell, here's your mood crystal.
Posted on August 15, 2009Living at home is nice, in the "I don't have to pay rent" sort of way. Less nice in the "horrifying flashback to high school way."Some things have changed in the last 7 years. Dad's taken up gardening. The Nobody Family menagerie has shrunk a little, and the population has changed significantly (more dog, less goat)...
Law School Roundup #185
Posted on August 10, 2009Welcome, ladies and gents, to Law School Roundup #185. Without further ado, here's this week's selection of good posts from law students current, aspiring, and recovering:Says who? Fine tuning your office skillz (Legally Questionably Content)Says Mom, that's who...
Law School Roundup #184
Posted on August 02, 2009This week's Law School Roundup is up over at Legal Underground. Check back here next week, same great place and time, for roundup #185.
You learn something new every day
Posted on July 30, 2009Today's something new, courtesy of one of my loud-phone-talker officemates: When things aren't working quite as you like, and you need to make the best of it, you could offer some platitude about lemons and lemonade.OR....you could offer (with quiet wisdom): "Well, Charley, sometimes you've got to take chicken poop and make chicken soup...
The things we learn on summer break.
Posted on July 28, 2009Coming home and being illicitly drunk in front of your family? Hilarious.Waking up the next morning and being illicitly hung over in front of them? Horrendous.Living at home is stellar. Woo.
Law School Roundup #183
Posted on July 26, 2009Welcome, ladies and gents, to Law School Roundup #183. Without further ado, here's this week's selection of good posts from law students current, aspiring, and recovering:@Barzam: The Twitterati on bar prep. (Butterflyfish)Been There, Done That: Jansen's words of wisdom for law school orientation (No...
Invasion Of The (Mind) Snatchers
Posted on July 25, 2009Over the course of the last few weeks, my sleepy college town has been invaded by stress-case maniacs.In a town where cows usually outnumber people in the summer months, where there are more coffee shops than there are places to buy a pair of socks, there is not a single free seat to be found...
In Which Roommate Returns
Posted on July 24, 2009The great part about turning your power off for the summer is that you get emails like this upon your return: Nobody:Visited the apartment today and learned: 1. you have a package and lots of mail, 2. I should have 2 packages but have none, and 3...
Seriously? Monday?
Posted on July 20, 2009Ugh. It is Monday. It is 105 and rising. I have a meeting to discuss my use of commas this afternoon. Ugh.I need a mai tai and some seriously air conditioning.
Law School Roundup #182
Posted on July 19, 2009Law School Roundup #182 is over at the Legal Underground. Check here next week, same great place and time, for #183.Update: Oof. Link is now fixed. My apologies.
What stress?
Posted on July 18, 20096 o'clock on Friday, and the office is a wasteland. In fact, the only people left on the floor are chatting about the firm volleyball game and eating leftover cake from this afternoon's birthday party (obviously, Internet, I am there for the cake).I would be concerned about my offer and the workload, except that the hiring partner just informed us that the firm had a record budget excess this year, and he "wants to cultivate a feeling of trust at the law schools...
Law School Roundup #181
Posted on July 13, 2009Welcome, ladies and gents, to Law School Roundup #181...but first, a shameless plug: If you are an incoming 1L: Welcome to the support group the legal fraternity. In a few short years, you'll be sitting in the a proud member of the bar...
Law School Roundup #180
Posted on July 06, 2009Law School Roundup#180 is up at the Legal Underground.Check back here next week, same great place and time, for Roundup #181.
Reason I Love Darwin #457
Posted on July 03, 2009I am cleaning out my email inbox today (instead of grading write ons, working, or doing laundry, obviously), and I came across the following one-liner from Darwin: The elderly are out and about in. I see and hear them in the courtyard. I think they're conspiring against me...
Law School Roundup #179
Posted on June 29, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #179. Because everyone else is running a tribute to Michael Jackson, this week's roundup is brought to you courtesy of the late, the great, Billy Mays. Try to leave your Shamwows at home for this one, folks- we don't want Vince Schlomi to get the wrong idea...
Glorious
Posted on June 26, 2009Today is casual Friday.This afternoon is lunch with That One Fun Partner, and then a white-collar crime bonanza (researching, not committing, thanks).Tonight is firm-sponsored happy hour.Best. Day. Ever.
Down the Rabbit Hole: On not knowing the answer, ever.
Posted on June 24, 2009The frustrating thing about being a summer associate is that you are constantly two steps behind everyone around you. The experience combines all of the uncertainty of 1L year with the soul crushing "what if I don't get a job" terror of 2L year, wrapped up in a big shiny package...
Law School Roundup #178
Posted on June 23, 2009Law School Roundup #178 is up at The Legal Underground. Check back here, same great time and place, for Roundup #179.
Law School Roundup #177
Posted on June 15, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #177. Without further ado, here is this week's roundup of posts from law students current, aspiring, and recovering:Summer So Far: A recap of the highs and lows of summer associate life. (Sua Sponte)Creative Liberties: A helpful guide to the can's and cannot's of Facebook's new username program (Virgin in the Volcano)Double Take: You think you know a girl...
Etiquette question
Posted on June 12, 2009What do you do when the partner in your office smells like the homeless person in your parking garage?Le sigh. It's always the environmental attorneys, isn't it?
Poetic Justice?
Posted on June 10, 2009This morning, one of the summers asked me to proof read an assignment, and I eviscerated it for him. It was awkward for everyone involved, really, but a little vindicating for me.Tonight, my mother read over my shoulder and suggested "clever asides" for an email I was editing...
Am drunk, please send more Pahlmeyer.
Posted on June 07, 2009Tonight, went to magically delicious wine bar with Funny Wine Friend (this is not her normal blog name. I forget her normal blog name). Proceeded to be normal charming selves, finished (ok, mostly-finished) crossword, got owner drunk. Owner commented on how in sync and crossword zenny Funny Wine Friend and I were, which was very flattering...
Law School Roundup #176
Posted on June 07, 2009This week's Law School Roundup is up over at Legal Underground. Check it out, and come back next week, same great time and place, for Roundup #177.
Updates from the Job Front: Coming to Terms with Working Life
Posted on June 05, 2009I am two weeks into my summer job at Work Hard, Play Hard, LLP, and things are bopping along more or less smoothly. I like the people. The work, for the most part, is interesting. I have a window! And yet, I don't feel quite settled in yet.I have yet to purchase a meal on my own dime, and am starting to long for a grilled cheese sandwich and baby carrots straight out of the bag...
Law School Roundup #175
Posted on June 01, 2009Happy Monday, and welcome to Law School Roundup #175. Without further ado...Time to Say Goodbye: A letter to law school (Useless Dicta)Office Humor: Keeping up to speed with co-workers' hi-jinks (Starting to Melt)MILP: Weekly Moms in the Legal Profession Roundup is at PT Law MomAnd then he peed all over the wall: Bad day? It's all a matter of perspective (Mommy on the Floor)Family Celebrations: There's always a hearty dose of WTFery (You've Got the Rubber Chicken)Shared Genes: Really though, they build character (Virgin in the Volcano)Friends IRL: Its a small, bloggy, world...
Working for the Weekend
Posted on May 26, 2009First day of work today!Dress code for the summer is "business casual." My shiny new summer associate manual came with a description of what this means, which was entirely uninformative: I've thus far learned that cut-offs, shirts with sexual slogans, and high-top sneakers are not appropriate...
Law School Roundup #174
Posted on May 25, 2009Law School Roundup #174 is up over at the Legal Underground.Go check it out!
I have no use for ruby red slippers
Posted on May 22, 2009Hello, Internet, how are you? Miss me? Naturally you did. I will be blogging more this summer- I have not abandoned you. Promise. Also, good news: I did not fail corporations, so I will actually be able to continue as a law school blogger, not just a random malinger of others...
Law School Roundup #173
Posted on May 17, 2009Congratulations, Graduates! Apologies for the lack of posting- updates to come soon, I promise. I've been alternately lying drunk on the couch watching the Food Network, and rambling around on the beach with Darwin (jealous? You should be). It turns out that Corporations will really take it out of you...
Law School Roundup #172
Posted on May 11, 2009This week's law school roundup is over at the Legal Underground.Check back here next week, same great place and time, for the latest edition!
Levity from the depths of the stacks
Posted on May 05, 2009This may come as a surprise to you, but it isn't just finals week for the law students.My little freshmen took their final yesterday. Although I was desperately trying to learn corporations while I proctored, I didn't see any (visible) tears, though everyone was writing till the last minute (and some beyond...
Law School Roundup #171
Posted on May 03, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #171. If you've been outside, congratulations on being done with finals. If you haven't: don't worry, I've filled my freezer with margarita mix. I'll save you a glass.It's time to put down the coffee cup, back slowly away from the highlighters, and enjoy a heaping serving of blawggy...
Thoughts on Finals
Posted on April 30, 2009That about sums it up. For those of you who have emailed, asking if I am still alive, I am: right under the vultures. In your next quasi-regularly scheduled episode, get ready for swine flu, undergrads, the mean thing I did to a stranger, and how fun professors are drunk...
Law School Roundup #170
Posted on April 26, 2009This week's law school roundup is over at the Legal Underground.Check back here next week, same great place and time, for the latest edition!
Hope for the hopeless
Posted on April 25, 2009Today, my always-helpful Pandora Mozart station* played a piece by Georg Philip Telemann. I rather enjoyed it, so I clicked over to tell Pandora that I liked it, and briefly skimmed his bio.I found this gem:The youth showed remarkable talent in music, but was temporarily discouraged in his chosen pursuit by Puritan Lutherans, who told Telemann's mother that he would turn out no better than "a clown, a tightrope walker or a marmot-trainer...
Ugh.
Posted on April 24, 2009Know what's more fun than spending 14 hours on campus on a Friday?Spending 14 hours on campus, on a Friday, writing a jurisprudence paper.FML.Further whining to follow.
A thought.
Posted on April 21, 2009If my stomach could handle it, I could concieveably just keep consuming caffiene until I became the most productive person on the planet. I could actually get everything done. Or write the entire works of Shakespeare on a typewriter. It would be sweet...
Law School Roundup #169
Posted on April 20, 2009Ok, ok. I know it's Monday morning already. You'll have to forgive me: Yesterday, I informed Darwin that it was Mother's Day, and he'd best call his family. If I can't get the month right, I can hardly be expected to get the day right, can I? At any rate, here is this week's Law School Roundup, for those of you still tottering through to the end of the semester...
What's that I spy?
Posted on April 13, 2009You say: Light at the end of the tunnel. Hope! Joy! Spring!I say: More like the glaring inevitability of the operating room lamps. Must! Learn! Corporations!Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.Commencing cold, hyperventilating panic.....now. Check and check.
Law School Roundup #168
Posted on April 12, 2009This week's Law School Roundup is up over at the Legal Underground.Check back here, same great place and time, for next week's collection of good posts from law school students past, present, and aspiring.
Congress joins TMI Thursdays
Posted on April 08, 2009Ok, who let Congress play with Twitter?You turn your back for one minute, and all of a sudden they're telling stories about their grandson's love life, exposing their grammatical insufficiencies to the world (see: all), and talking about their midnight snacks...
Law School Roundup #167
Posted on April 05, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #167.You made it through the week, survived April Fools, and have slid into Sunday more-or-less intact. Finals are looming, and springs not quite here yet- could there be a better time for innuendo? I think not.Without further ado, Law School Roundup #167, The "That's What She Said" Edition:Obviously: "Breasts and juries totally go together!" (A (non)Token Minority Student) Speaking of Which: "Next time, I don't care how cold it is in this town, I'm showing more boob...
Go home.
Posted on April 02, 2009Fun Fact:If you are an undergrad, you are not paying First Born Child Status tuition for the dubious privilege of studying in the lawbrary.And if you didn't sell your first born child to write that law tuition check, then, hey: you might not go here.And if you don't go here, why in God's name are you and your hair twirling and your biology note taking and your OMG! Txting! infiltrating my library?The conclusion is: if you are an undergrad, get out...
Really, though, I should sell tickets.
Posted on March 31, 2009My Circus discussion section full of freshmen just spent the last 90 minutes laughing at me. Interspersed with marginally smart things, but still: laughing. They were nodding, too, so maybe they're learning something?Or maybe I'm just my own low-budget variety show...
Mmmm, salty.
Posted on March 30, 2009Fun Fact: The (very very very) annoying 1L who informed me earlier this year that his plan was to clerk for the Supreme Court (excuse me while I laugh derisively, moron) is sitting at my table. In addition to breathing my air, which I do not appreciate, he is also audibly snorting loogies back up his nose...
Law School Roundup #166
Posted on March 29, 2009This week's Law School Roundup is available at the Legal Underground. Go check it out, and come back here, same great time and place, for next week's Roundup!
Social Networking 2.0
Posted on March 22, 2009All tweeted out? Too hip for MySpace? Allergic to Zuckerberg?Try this hip new social networking site, TheBarAfterWork. Evan Schaeffer has a very informative review here, which I high recommend you check out ("Is TheBarAfterWork a Valuable Networking Tool, or Just For Drunks?")Try it out: it might surprise you.
Law School Roundup #165
Posted on March 22, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup # 165...While you're here, have you met Mickey? He's so fine, he blows my mind. Also, the MILP (Moms in the Legal Profession) Roundup is up over at Butterflyfish. Stealing a page out of her book, this week's roundup is 80's-tastic, so without further ado, pump up your iTunes, and prepare yourself for this week's selection of posts from law students aspiring, recovering, and still slogging away...
It's All a Matter of Perspective.
Posted on March 21, 2009Sometimes, law school is rotten for the self esteem. This post over at Law Ingenue really touched me. Reflecting on this reminded me: I've had a post which is long overdue to share with you.Before my legal life, I worked for a city recreation department...
Even the Special Olympians are Better Bowlers Than Me
Posted on March 20, 2009Oh lordy.President Obama apparently made a special Olympics joke about his bowling on Leno tonight (not that I would know, because obviously, I was sleeping).My proposed solution is to let the Special Olympics team come to the White House and kick the crap out of him in bowling...
From The Horse's Mouth
Posted on March 17, 2009Lexis Rep:"Every time you click 'Edit Search', Westlaw kills a puppy"
Law School Roundup #164
Posted on March 16, 2009This week's Law School Roundup is up at The Legal Underground. Check back here next week, same great place and time!
I Am Full of Unpopular Opinions Today
Posted on March 16, 2009....Unpopular opinions and mozzarella sticks, so I'm going to call this one a wash, but I am still grouchy.* 1. I hate Twitter, and I think it's making us dumber and more self involved than we were before. This problem has expanded to the point where I am considering delivering my patented You Are Not That Important Lecture via loudspeaker as I drive through town...
ABCs & 1-2-3's at the Circus.
Posted on March 12, 2009My little minions have their papers due this week. Getting assignments back from them is always an interesting social study: a (terrifying) peek into the mind of college freshmen. Although there are always a few hilarious standouts ("The colons were in great unrest before the revolutionary war") they tend to be more or less variations on the same theme...
Law School Roundup #163
Posted on March 08, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup # 163, the flu-season edition. There was a glut of quality posts this week, which only goes to show: it must be midterm season again. While you're putting off your outline, here's this week's selection of posts from law students aspiring, recovering, and still slogging away:Mens Rea? Proposed changes to Canada's mental illness law (Law is Cool)Lights, Camera...
Smitten Kitchen, I'm not.
Posted on March 07, 2009I am up at Darwin's this weekend. Mostly, I am pottering around in the grey early March weather complicating his grocery shopping with demands like "No, the good kind of juice," and using my exception good luck to help him win things like giant cheese baskets, but I make occasional forays into other Darwin-related hobbies: eye-rolling, sweatpants stealing, absconding with his clean towels, monopolizing the kitchen table with a horrifying array of law books...
Mmmm, pass the salt.
Posted on February 24, 2009For those of you Good Guilt Ridden Catholics out there, Ash Wednesday is tomorrow- this a perfectly appropriate time to give up on all the fun that law school's not letting you have, and call it a sacrifice, instead of "spring semester."Also, in the event that you're the kind of Good Guilt Ridden Catholic that my mother wants me spending more time with, and you won't be eating meat on Fridays for the next 40 days- good news:As of the 16th Century, these guys are officially Pope-sanctioned fish...
Law School Roundup #161
Posted on February 22, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #161. It's been an 80's flashback week here in the But No Thanks household, so consider yourself warned.Without further ado, here's this week's selection of posts from law students aspiring, recovering, and still avoiding their homework by watching The Princess Bride again:Inconceivable! Research, old-school style (Terra Nullius)Rhyming? Not quite...
Why I Love Darwin, Part 341
Posted on February 21, 2009Darwin: Who is this person?Me: He's that law review guy, the shady one.Darwin: Oh! Yeah. I don't trust him.Me: Me either. Also, he wears oversized suit jackets and sunglasses inside.Me: And a backwards baseball cap. Sometimes, it's time to let go of the eighties...
February: Now Worse than March in all 50 States
Posted on February 21, 2009It is not yet spring, no matter how hard I may try to wish spring into being. Instead, it is the dreary, wretched, soul-crushing post-winter Armageddon that only February knows how to bring.I hate February. If it weren't for conversation hearts, I would boycott it entirely...
This is just to say...
Posted on February 16, 2009....This afternoon, it dawned on me:Yes, I was right about all that. You know, the elusive, nondescript, ever-present All That. The All That which encompasses naysayers, killjoys, whether it was a left or a right at the corner, career dreams, spontaneous risks, the proper role of Chunk Lite Tuna, and the value of broccoli...
Law School Roundup #160
Posted on February 15, 2009This week's Law School Roundup is up over at The Legal Underground- check it out for good posts this week from law students current, aspiring, and recovering.Check back here, same great place and time, for next week's Roundup!
I am the Grand High Priestess of Everything
Posted on February 13, 2009...slash, Master of the Universe....slash, Editor in Chief of the Journal.Enter the era of twitchy control freaks. I'm so all over that business. Bluebook, ho!
Just What Every Little Girl Dreams Of
Posted on February 11, 2009I'm trudging through the law school exhausted today, because I couldn't sleep last night. Why, you ask? Well, gentle reader, I shall tell you.I couldn't sleep because I had a law school nightmare.*Last night, I dreamt that I had a Very Serious Important Project due, and I couldn't, for the life of me, find the sources that I needed...
Law School Roundup #159
Posted on February 08, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #159.This week, keep in mind: it's not a trick, it's an illusion. A trick is something...well, you get the idea. And this week's theme! If not, get thee a hulu membership, and catch up on your Arrested Development.Without further ado, here's this week's selection of posts from law students aspiring, recovering, and still slogging away:Definitely Not a Nevernude: Indecent exposure in the classroom...
"I Am Not A Crook," and Other Valuable Campaign Slogans: In Which I Run for Office
Posted on February 07, 2009So I'm doing my very best to get a position as Editor in Chief of the journal. The journal, which, despite my griping about bluebooking and students notes, I like quite a bit (and not just as a resume padder...though it helps). The position is elected, so I bit the bullet and announced my candidacy this week...
Epic Grammar Fail
Posted on February 03, 2009My little freshmen had an assignment due today.For the love of all that's holy, shouldn't you know by the age of 18 about subject/verb agreement? Or thesis sentences? I mean, really. I know I play fast and loose with grammar, but I'm a blogger. Hamilton and Jefferson would not appreciate your tendency to write things like:"It is intrinsikally natural for the president to have complete control after the second Tuesday in Nov...
Law School Roundup #158
Posted on February 01, 2009This week's Law School Roundup is up over at The Legal Underground- check it out for good posts this week from law students current, aspiring, and recovering.Check back here, same great place and time, for next week's Roundup!
Separation of Powers Never Looked This Good
Posted on January 29, 2009I had my very first teaching experience at The Circus today.Up until now, I've just been holding office hours and looking Very Serious and Important up near the front of the room, while my master professor dances around imparting wisdom and molding young minds...
I Win! Also, am exceedingly uncomplicated.
Posted on January 28, 2009Yep, I'm still employed.Got letter from from my summer firm today confirming my start date, and asking me to fill out a "conflict of interest" form. I should have just written in red pen "I have no substantive legal experience" to alleviate their concerns, but I didn't want to push my luck in the current economic climate...
"...and hilarity ensued"
Posted on January 27, 2009I have become enamored of this phrase: "...and hilarity ensued."I'm not sure when it first flitted through my head, but because it so accurately describes so many moments (small and large) in my life, it's stuck there, like a constant punchline to my increasingly surreal existence...
I think my creative side is being stifled.
Posted on January 26, 2009So last night, I had a dream that I was heading up some sort of mass escape from a very tiny prison.There were 4 or 5 women about my age, and at least 100 moderately adorable and extremely tiny school children. I had some sort of mission to complete on the beach, and then I had to round them up and get them onto a (no joke) magic school bus and take them...
I love Google Analytics
Posted on January 25, 2009Great searches that lead to this blog this week:1. Fat troglodyte Lauren: I don't like Lauren, either. I do like that this search led to my blog, and you'd better believe that I will be blogging about troglodytes more often. Much more often.2. Feeling dumb in law school: Obviously...
Law School Roundup #157
Posted on January 25, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup #157.This week, many of you went to the Inauguration (but, guys? Pictures? Hello? You're killing me), and reflected on the state of things these days. Many more of you dragged yourselves, disgruntled, to class, and tried to get back to the routine of business as usual in law school land...
Survey Says: I should have done the reading.
Posted on January 25, 2009So Virgin tagged me, and though I'm not usually a meme kind of girl, her writing very helpfully reminded me that meme doesn't have to mean mundane.Also, I've been drinking, and I don't want to read for Corporations. This may result in an uncomfortably honest ramble...
Links: Law Wiki, and help for aspiring 0Ls
Posted on January 22, 2009I don't always promote the links I've been sent,* but occasionally, I make exceptions, either for particularly good resources (noted here), or because of my surpassing glee at the writing featured (see: Funny Mean Friend). Incidentally, I've yet to sell out on the sponsorship thing,** so you'll have to just accept the fact that some things are just too cool not to blog about...
Well, Would You Look At That.
Posted on January 20, 2009Even with all the hoopla: this whole peaceful transfer of power thing is pretty cool.
"If I Did It": Of microwaves, EasyMac, and life on the inside
Posted on January 19, 2009First of all, if it did happen (and I'm not saying that it did), it isn't my fault they didn't lock the doors.And if they didn't want me to use the faculty kitchen, perhaps they should have named me by name. Because honestly, if you look at the student body, and ask yourself "Who is most likely to sneak into the faculty suite to nuke her EasyMac?"...
Law School Roundup #156
Posted on January 18, 2009This week's Law School Roundup is up at the Legal Underground. Check it out for posts by law students current, aspiring, and recovering.Check back here for next week's Roundup, same great place & time!Update: Sorry, feed readers, for the wrong link...
Yes, Please.
Posted on January 18, 2009Do you read Smitten Kitchen? Because, really, Internet, you should.SK is this delightful cooking and recipe blog (see "The Good Stuff" link section) that taught me how to make The World's Greatest Pie Crust (No joke. Even Darwin's mom was breaking off little bits of it from the pan post-Thanksgiving festivities...
A Creepy January Story: Or, Pest Removal- Another Great Reason to Love The Internet
Posted on January 17, 2009Good news: the Note That Beat Up Your Grandma And Stole Her Purse is officially vanquished. While I very much doubt that it is going to any great lengths to convince my editorial board that I am the sparkling, witty, Editor-in-Chief candidate I not that secretly hope to be, it is, at least, done...
In Which My Psychological Breakdown Necessitates a Beadazzler.
Posted on January 16, 2009Gah. I have so, so many words left to write and bluebook on The Note That Made Baby Jesus Cry, and oh-mother-of-truck it has been a long week. Resigning myself to defeat, or at least mediocrity, I dropped my Federal Courts for Super Smart Geniuses class, and am going to add something that doesn't renew my 1L fears about failing out of law school...
Nasty, brutish, and short.
Posted on January 15, 2009Hooray! The little minions are coming in today to discuss Locke & Hobbes. Who misses reading Leviathan? Internet, put your hands in the air if you love you some social contract theory.Because I got a bit later start in the year than Funny Mean Friend, I've had no criers- yet...
SIW #1: I rock out, with regularity. And eat cookies!
Posted on January 14, 2009If you've noticed a lack of law-related posts, it is because I'm in denial. And writing. Always. About nothing interesting at all. 2L year is a bitch, and both my blogging and my legal writing have gone into a spiraling hole of lackluster blech. I need a bit of a jumpstart, but it's frightful outside, and stagnant inside, so I'm feeling a little stuck...
In Which I Leave The Zoo.
Posted on January 13, 2009All good things must come to an end. So, too, must all mediocre, cringe-inducing things (Bromance, I'm looking at you). This semester, due to time/sanity constraints, I am no longer working at The Zoo. Instead, glutton for fun and punishment that I am, I've taken a position as a graduate teaching assistant with an undergrad government class...
Law School Roundup #155
Posted on January 11, 2009Welcome to Law School Roundup # 155.This week, the pre-Ls struggled with law school decisions, the 1Ls discovered that yes, grades are are a rude awakening, the 2Ls searched increasingly desperately for jobs, and the 3Ls awoke from their holiday reverie to start worrying about the bar exam...
Thanks for your patience
Posted on January 07, 2009I am fiddling with the blog, obviously. As a paper-writing break.
10 Moments in the Life of the Turkey: Or, why Nobody Family Holidays are just Stellar.
Posted on January 07, 20091: Thanksgiving 2001: I drag my teenaged self out of bed and meander into the kitchen. My mother (the veterinarian) is dressed and pacing. She hands me a bunch of celery and a knife, and announces: "Your grandmother's dog is dying. The family's coming at 4...
Law School Roundup #154
Posted on January 04, 2009This week's Law School Roundup is up at the Legal Underground. Check it out for posts by law students current, aspiring, and recovering.Check back here for next week's Roundup, same great place & time!
Resoloved: I've got a list, and I'm checking it twice
Posted on January 01, 2009Inspired by my terrific wine friend, I have been brainstorming some goals for 2009. Not silly, boring goals like "be nicer" or "eat fewer Doritos" (I have enough improving to do in those areas that I can't be waiting for a new year to start to turn over a new leaf), but nice, finite, glad-to-say-I've-done-it goals...
Law School Roundup #153
Posted on December 28, 2008Welcome to Law School Roundup # 153, the holiday cookie-coma edition. For those of you who aren't still stranded in an airport somewhere (Margaritas. Wings. O'Hare. You do the math- I recommend it), here's this week's selection of posts from law students aspiring, recovering, and still slogging away:Bilingual: A Christmas story, translated...
Merry Christmas!
Posted on December 25, 2008...To all, and to all a good night.It's Christmas Eve. I miss Darwin. That's about the sum of things.Tomorrow: 25 drunk relatives descend on Chez Nobody. Politically incorrect, kid-friendly fun for the whole family! Stay tuned.
Put a fork in me, I'm done.
Posted on December 23, 2008I'm doney McDonesalot, done done done.Yeah. Except for that silly "40 page note" and whatever else hanging over my head- halfway done with law school.Having slept for several hours (read: days), and braved holiday travel, I'm home just in time to cook my family into a holiday stupor (in the stuffed-on-the-couch way, not the fava bean way)...
Law School Roundup #152
Posted on December 21, 2008This week's Law School Roundup is up at the Legal Underground. Check it out for posts by law students current, aspiring, and recovering.Check back here for next week's Roundup, same great place & time!
In Which I Get a Big Shiny Gold Star
Posted on December 17, 2008span style="font-family: georgia;"I'm not sure if you've noticed, but law students like to cut ourselves some major slack during finals. In part, it is because this experience is span style="font-style: italic;"rough/span- stressful in a way that very few other experiences in our life have been so far...
In Which I Have A Tantrum, and Get Judged For It
Posted on December 16, 2008Tonight, I got a phone call from the girl who works the shift before me at The Zoo. Apparently when our boss, said that our hours ?end before finals,? what she meant was ?Hours anywhere you don't work end before finals.? Which means that my shifts, out in the main building, are still on...
Thank you, Target Gurus
Posted on December 15, 2008Dear Grand Poo-bahs and Most Rocking Buyers at Target,Remember when I pitched a big hissy fit about the No Booze on Sundays rule? And when I swore I was shopping at the Farmer's Market, forever and ever amen? Or when I pitched a big fit about the No Good Cheese to Be Found problem? I'm sorry, most reverent Target Powers...
Law School Roundup #151
Posted on December 14, 2008Welcome to Law School Roundup # 151, the "Sorry, I can't....I have law school" edition. It is the end of the semester, and neurosis and tensions are running high- so are post counts. Shouldn't you people be studying?Without further ado, here's this week's selection of posts from law students aspiring, recovering, and still slogging away:People who know people: Tapping into the hidden job market (Diary of a Law School Mom)Ack! Skim! Do not get between a law student and her coffee, Barista...
Sigh.
Posted on December 13, 2008Holiday cookie parties. Sleeping in on Saturdays. Going to the Farmer's Market "just because." Playing in the snow. Cinnamon buns. Wrapping presents.Sigh.Remember when we used to have "fun"? Me too, until Law School stole Christmas.No, Professor H. TwoSizesTooSmall, Eight hour finals were not on that list...
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Posted on December 10, 2008Ok guys. Who signed me up for Ann Coulter's newsletter?Hilarious.Now 'fess up.
Fun with Undergrads: In which we learn I am not really a "people person"
Posted on December 09, 2008Oh my, oh my, oh my. Sometimes, I am ever-so-patient with the legions of undergraduates that insist upon populating my campus. Other times, not so much. While doing my token paper-pusher job for student services at The Zoo, I've rapidly decelerated from "Yeah! I heart the young 'uns! Let's mentor! Lollipops for everyone!" ...
You know what would make this go faster?
Posted on December 09, 2008...having done my copyright reading to begin with.Epic. Intellectual. Property. Fail.But everything I need is in the E & E, right? Of course right.
Law School Roundup #150
Posted on December 07, 2008This week's Law School Roundup is up at the Legal Underground. Check it out for posts by law students current, aspiring, and recovering.Check back here for next week's Roundup, same great place & time!
Sunday night updates from Blogland.
Posted on December 07, 20081. I've added the Followers feature from Blogger, so now you can "follow" me. Creepers. (I meant that with love!) (I will still know who to call if you are sitting in the bushes outside. Ahem.) (But really though: don't you want to follow me? Fun!)2. I still want to redesign the blog...
Congratulations, FMF
Posted on December 06, 2008Funny Mean Friend (FMF)* just finished her Big Ole Exam of Awful. (What, you've never met Funny Mean Friend? Click away, my poor, unenlightened reader. Click away.)Thankfully, she has not been buried in a pile of literary errata, but is actually alive, well, and in recovery mode...
Do Not Do Business With GE Money Bank
Posted on December 05, 2008Good morning, shoppers!I've got a brief public service announcement for you all, courtesy of GE Money Bank, and their No Good Very Bad Customer Service team. I had a card with GE Money Bank. I know what they say about consumer credit cards, but I'm addicted to a certain cashmere-filled rewards program, so there you have it...
Joy, panties, and the million dollar bra
Posted on December 03, 2008Victoria's Secret Fashion Show tonight- 10pm/9 Central. Be there.Here, there will be cocoa, s'mores, Kahlua, whipped cream, unbounded joy. A person has to unleash that finals stress somehow, right?Now. Who's buying me a bra made of diamonds?In case you were wondering what I am doing instead of Evidence, it's 20% off all orders at the The Place of The Wonderful Underwear, until midnight tonight...
Library wanking?
Posted on December 02, 2008This post is not family friendly.My lovely, lovely laptop returned from the laptop hospital with more issues than I sent it off with, so I am once again back on a loaner laptop from the school. It still sucks.However, Loaner 2.0 sucks in new, more literal, ways that Loaner 1...
Sheer joy?
Posted on December 02, 2008This morning, I re-discovered iTunes' "Genius" feature. Aptly named? I think so. It's better than Christmas!So, while you were gloomily staring out the window, ladies and gentleman, I was grooving to "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" in front of the dresser. Lord help us all, "Billy's Got His Beer Goggles On" is up next...
Law School Roundup #149
Posted on November 30, 2008Welcome to Law School Roundup # 149.It has been a big week in Blawgland. Turkey was eaten, green bean stories were told, and we all just generally ran amuck. Before we begin, let's all heave a collective sigh of relief that NaBloPoMo is over, shall we?Leaving out the green beans (which merit a roundup all their own) and the "this is just a post because I owe you a post for NaBloPoMoLaDoWhaHoDeeGo-whatever," here's this week's selection of posts from law students aspiring, recovering, and still slogging away:That's what she said?: Sometimes, vocabulary eludes us...
This is a post with a purpose
Posted on November 26, 2008This post is for Rob, who googled the blog for his name and kept coming up with "problem," and who consequently thinks I need a vacation.I probably do.Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob.Happy thanksgiving to all! I'll be running amok with Darwin over the next few days, so posting will be sporadic...
Law School Roundup #148
Posted on November 23, 2008Law School Roundup # 148 is up over at The Legal Underground.Check back here next week at the same great place and time for a new selection of law student blogiliciousness.Now excuse me, I have to get back to the Food Network Challenge- Thanksgiving Dinner...
Ooops.
Posted on November 19, 2008Dear Feed People:I have been spamming you with my constant returning back to change grammatical errors, haven't I?Sorry. I will try to keep my editing in one place and not get so trigger-happy on the "publish post" business.My bad!!Kisses,Nobody
Law School Makes You Fat And Miserable.
Posted on November 18, 2008Law school makes you fat.* There's really no other way around it.** 1Ls, revel in that tanned, lithe, undergraduate body of yours while you can, because winter is coming, and with it the body of a disgruntled beluga.Remember "outside"? Upperclassmen, you may have to focus for this exercise...
I Learned to Share in Kindergarten, Too.
Posted on November 18, 2008So I'm sitting in the library, toodling away on my Evidence reading (I'm a toodler), when I notice that my lips are getting chapped. I reach over, pick up my handy-dandy Burts Bees, and take care of that problem. Good work, Nobody! You are a problem solver...
The book says..
Posted on November 17, 2008...."Performing rights societies" I say......."hang out with band geeks" Believe it or not, this is not actually what is meant by the term. Blurg. This could not possibly be over soon enough.
Law School Roundup #147
Posted on November 15, 2008Welcome to Law School Roundup #147.Before you start reading: go on over to PT-LawMom, give her a big e-hug, and remember that we've all got to band together to support our own.Hug done?Well then, with no further ado, here's this week's sampling of interesting posts from law students current, impending and recovering:Mood: Soulless: Lessons we all wish we learned before law school (The View From The Middle)"Oh, it gets easier": Some choice words for those "reassuring" souls ((In)Sanity Souffle)Trends: Government...
Who Needs Inauguration Tickets?
Posted on November 14, 2008Why hello there. You want to go to the Inauguration, do you? Quick, quick! Call your representative! There must be an extra one lying around.And while you're on hold, the Diplomat has a few words for you: Dear Inauguration-watching hopefuls, I know you think coming to DC to go to the inauguration will be the best thing since sliced bread, but i implore you to use your better judgment, and think again...
Another one bites the dust?
Posted on November 13, 2008Roommate is considering starting a blog. Internet, raise your hand if you think Roommate should start a blog. ME TOO! Look at all those hands! Go, Roommate, Go!
I love chicken, I love liver, Google, Google, please deliver!
Posted on November 12, 2008As you know, I have a long and luscious history with dead animals. I can't help it- the gross just finds me. And it is icky. Because of my propensity to blog about things that are icky, every once in a while, someone finds this blog by googling "rotting mouse": a sad sign for them, me, and the blog...
I can alliterate.
Posted on November 12, 2008Slowly but surely, the slovenly student sitting next to me slurps snot skyward, sneaking slimy, slithering, snot-slugs surreptitiously to his sinuses. No really, it's gross. Get a Kleenex.
Memo #13: I think you need to rethink your diagnosis
Posted on November 11, 2008Dear Future Anna Nicole 1L:You really freaked me out today, with your talking about your doctors' visits. You were so flippant when your classmate complained about her difficulty staying alert. Did the good doctor actually prescribe you drugs "to make you focus" and "to keep you awake" so that "law school is easy now!"?I hope not...
Meh....meh, I say!
Posted on November 10, 2008...or I would, if I could muster that sort of fervor. A litany of Monday complaints:1. I have a surprise admin due on Monday. Surprise! Admin! I hate you! Editor!2. Want to know about the 4th Amendment? Me too. There is not a Schoolhouse Rock episode on this, otherwise, I would have actually been prepared for Criminal Procedure...
Law School Roundup #146
Posted on November 10, 2008This week's Law School Roundup is up at the Legal Underground Check it out for posts by law students current, aspiring, and recovering.Check back here for next week's Roundup, same great place & time!
Internet, Meet Darwin: My partner in crime.
Posted on November 07, 2008I've been reading through old blog posts, trying to clean up my labels a bit and make everything more accessible (see the to-do list), and it's made me all reflective.Not in the neon-orange, riding your bike at night way, although that would be pretty neat...
Sidenotes: Tell Us What You Really Think
Posted on November 06, 2008In reviewing my notes & outlining courses today, I came across the following little sidelines gems. Unlike last year, where I listened, this year's notes have scribblings of crossword clues and fatalistic predictions about my ability to get a job...
In Which You Thank God You Do Not Have to Live With Me...Also: Monsters!
Posted on November 06, 2008Poor Roommate. She is a smart, politically active, intellectually engaged girl, living with someone with the mind of a small child.Don't get me wrong. I like talking politics and policy and The Way Things Should Be with Roommate. She's interesting and smart, and she challenges me to think in new ways...
Sportsmanship: Not just for tennis anymore
Posted on November 05, 2008The election is over. Did you get that memo? Yeah. I know, right? Crazy.So, fellow law students: Now Is The Time: Shut up.Stop talking. You had your chance. The votes are in. If your guy won, congratulations. If your guy lost: I promise you, this is not the apocalypse...
4 years ago today...
Posted on November 04, 2008...I was at a very exclusive election night party in D.C.I can't tell you whose, but I can tell you the following people were there: a Green Party girl, a CNN reporter or two, a Democrat, a Republican, an Independent, and Don King.One of them was really considering a career change...
Partisanship is peachy.
Posted on November 03, 2008I don't know if you've noticed...but there's an election tomorrow. Apparently. And, much to our founders' surprise and delight, people are quite engaged, and everyone's got an opinion. Have you noticed this? I live in a cave, and I've noticed.If you haven't voted yet* (a proposal: send "I Voted" stickers with the absentee ballots? Please?), Google Maps has a polling place finder...
Law School Roundup #145
Posted on November 02, 2008Ok really though- I will start posting more this week. Cross my heart!With no further ado- here's this week's edition of the Law School Roundup. Welcome to Roundup #145, the Happy Daylight Savings Edition.Here's this week's collection of interesting posts from law students current, impending and recovering:Kind Of A Big Deal: You know you're kind of big deal when...
Fiddling with blogger
Posted on October 27, 2008I changed my setup around a little- I found a 3 column template over at Webtalks, which is a nice start.Learning web editing is on my to-do list...I will do my best not to have this blog self-destruct in the interim.
Law School Roundup #144
Posted on October 27, 2008This week's Law School Roundup is up at the Legal Underground. Check it out for posts by law students current, aspiring, and recovering.Check back here for next week's Roundup, same great place & time!
Meet the Parents?
Posted on October 22, 2008My family is odd.Yes, yes, I know. Every family is odd in it's own right, etc., e tc. But still: odd. Smart sometimes, interesting always, but distinctly and irrefutably odd. Not creepy, usually, though my assessment may have been tainted by years of growing up in a household where "Infectious Disease: Symptoms & Consequences" is a normal topic for dinner table conversation...
Who's a failure now?!
Posted on October 21, 2008I got an offer! Yeah! Major selling points of the firm include:1. Pays cash-money2. At last check, does not drown puppies.3. Not in Modesto.Unlike last summer's job search, I did not promptly begin with the effusive, delirious thank-you's that are typically my wont...
Law School Roundup #143
Posted on October 19, 2008Welcome to Law School Roundup #143, the with-love-from-Joe-the-Plumber Edition...Here's this week's collection of interesting posts from law students current, impending and recovering:But I'm Charming! Some BigLaw hope for those of us who are better at cocktails than Contracts (The Shark)It Might Be One of the Plagues: Sometimes, the great outdoors just insists upon coming in, and it's gross...
I don't like you because you're not me.
Posted on October 17, 2008Roommate: Hahaha. That self-important 1L we hate is complaining about how hard it is going to be to make her final memo short enough. Oh honey. You're going to have to learn to cut all the excess words. And judging by the amount of talking in the lounge today- there are LOTS of them...
The credited response is: Blech.
Posted on October 14, 2008To the googler who got here with the search "how do you feel after the lsat".........bring beer. And a designated driver. And maybe a cookie. You've got a long, miserable road ahead of you.But since, judging from the referrals, its getting to be That Time of Year again, you can also find my ramblings from the LSAT to Oh-No-I'm-a-1L process here, under the tag "Applications" or "LSAT...
Recipe: Chicken Broth Cures Bad Days
Posted on October 14, 2008Blurg. It has been gloriously pretty the last few days- crisp mornings, bright, warm afternoons- but that's all over now. Fall has.......fallen. Like a ton of soggy, smelly bricks.I woke up this morning to the sound of rain on my window. Under other circumstances, this is a rather pleasant sound...
Law School Roundup #142
Posted on October 12, 2008Law School Roundup #142 is up over at Legal Underground.Check back here next week- same great place & time.
That's what she said, redux
Posted on October 07, 2008Roommate on tonight's presidential debate:"If I hear the phrase 'Wall Street...Main Street' one more time, I might have to choke a bitch."
"All We Do Is Work"....No kidding.
Posted on October 06, 2008Roommate pointed this out to me this afternoon.Jackson Lewis law firm moto: "All we do is work"Can't say you weren't fairly warned, right?
Law School Roundup #141
Posted on October 05, 2008Welcome to Law School Roundup #141, the promise-not-to-talk-about-Sarah-Palin edition....Promise.Here's this week's collection of interesting posts from law students current, impending and recovering:Drag Queens: Chalk it up on the "things that are more fun than outlining" list...
Theorhetical Question
Posted on October 04, 2008How much old-school Britney Spears can you rock out to in the living room before you have to turn in your cool kid card?I'm just wondering. For a friend.How about bubblegum punk?
Limericks are fun!
Posted on October 03, 2008This morning, in limerick form: There once was a sweet little kitten, Whose wild side must have been itchin' She strode onto the tile,With a big kitty smile,And took a fat dump in our kitchen. Oh yes. That happened. There's nothing like Sofa looking you in the eye, and then taking a shit on the kitchen floor ("hey...
Memo #12: Kenny Chesney, we need to talk
Posted on October 02, 2008Dear Kenny, I?m so glad that you have ?No shoes, no shirt?no problems.? It sounds delightful. I, however, have all of the above. In spades. Perhaps you?d like to take some off my hands? I think I have your fair share. Another problem: I do not have ?sun and the sand and a drink in my hands, with no bottoooomm,? though I would like it very much...
Memo #11: Why, that sense of entitlement really matches your eyes
Posted on October 01, 2008Dear NoSchool 1Ls:Ok, I get it. I was a 1L. We all have our moments. I've resisted bashing. Even when it was probably deserved. But guys, we've got to have a sit-down. Some of your number need to be reigned in, or I am going to crack and go on a chair flinging rampage...
I want a damn Xanax
Posted on September 29, 2008It is Monday.Oh my god I'm never getting a job.I'm screwed. Screwed, screwed, screwed.The End.** Update ** Bailout does not pass. CNN tells me this = epic fail. Bailout, no bailout- we are all going to hell in an unemployed hand-basket...."We need to get something done...
5 Blogs, 5 Bloggers....Pass it on.
Posted on September 28, 2008I knew someone was listening.PT-Law Mom read my mind (sending out socially anxious pick-me-pick-me-pick-me vibes) and tagged me for the meme that's been going around. As you may have already adduced, I'm like nothing more than making other people read the things I think are fabulous*, so I've been itching for a chance to spread the love...
Law School Roundup #140
Posted on September 28, 2008Law School Roundup #140 is up over at Legal Underground.It's a good one! Check back here next week- same great place & time.
Comfort Food?
Posted on September 24, 2008Roommate is feeling even more despondent Re: the lack-of-jobiness than I am (though she has less Brick* moments in her interviews than I, so perhaps there's hope for her yet).Anyway. I am making dinner tonight, to make me feel better, and hopefully to make her feel better...
Memo #11: What is the "fun" you speak of?
Posted on September 23, 2008To the person who found this blog with the google search "reading law review for fun":That is not fun. Don't lie to yourself. Go outside and play, before the horrible winter of library and frostbite settles back in again. Kisses,Nobody
Law School Roundup #139
Posted on September 21, 2008Welcome to Law School Roundup #139.Here's this week's collection of interesting posts from law students current, impending and recovering.In their own words:Tasty: "Let the flavors come together by simmering for a minute or so more, then add the chicken back to the pan" (Divine Angst)A Matter of Perspective: "But I?m irreplaceable!" (No...
The drop outs are coming, the drop outs are coming
Posted on September 18, 2008The first of the 1Ls are starting to drop. It's sad...and a little familiar.Good luck on the outside kids.To the ones who stay: We call the first one Goose....the surviving gunners are up to you.
What goes around comes around.
Posted on September 17, 2008Men who wear $30,000 watches...well. I hate to break it to you kids, but classy doesn't wear a shooting star coat with his high-roller wristwear. Classy does not use the phrase "bomb the hell out of them" when discussing foreign policy, either, but beggars can't be choosers...
Email Alert: Ding dong, ding dong
Posted on September 15, 2008From: Nobody [butnothanks@blogsareawesome.com]Sent: Monday, September 15, 2008 5:05 PMTo: Roommate [roommate@rocksmysocks.com]Subject: ummmmmmmmmmm Dear Roommate,So, if you are tall and male. Or really, if you are male: it is inappropriate to stand and jangle your keys at?ahem...
Law School Roundup #138
Posted on September 14, 2008Law School Roundup #138 is over at Legal Underground.Look for it next week here- same great time and place!
Today at law school, I learned...
Posted on September 10, 2008...if you put enough half & half in it, the law school coffee gets upgraded from "scathing, tastes like burnt turkey feces" up to "dirt-flavored milk."This is important information for a rough Wednesday morning.
Law School Roundup #137
Posted on September 07, 2008Welcome to the Law School Roundup #137,With no further ado, this week's collection of interesting posts from law students current, impending and recovering:Observations: Being a law student means taking notes, and sometimes just taking note. (Somebody Shake Me, Please)So you had a bad day? Sometimes, The Fates are just out to get you (No...
Memo #10: Sandals' Seedy Underbelly?
Posted on August 31, 2008Dear Sandals Resort Marketing Team,Awkward pictures of honeymooners? Check. Softcore porn music? Check. The phrase "Watersports Included," in big, bold letters?I may be an innocent little girl, but....you might want to rethink this, if you're going to be airing these things on E!...
Tuesdays are so much better than Mondays
Posted on August 26, 2008Today I dropped my practical skills course (aka "The Grand Festival of Suckitude"). I did this, despite the potential for hours of entertainment with: The creepy-stalkeresque 3L: Attention 1Ls (especially the ladies): DO NOT DATE LAW STUDENTS. They are crazy, usually smart, and obsessed with being in control...
Inbox Fun, Day 1
Posted on August 25, 2008I don't so much "email" Roommate as I do "spam her constantly." Being at the same law school, taking much of the same classes, and seeing the same people, the ability to keep up a running commentary over our inboxes allows us to play Joan Rivers on a daily basis...
That's what she said
Posted on August 25, 2008Meredith Vieira on this morning's news, talking about visiting the Great Wall for the first time- the group is chatting, when Meredith belts out above the furor:"It was so cool to be a virgin again!!"Yeah. It was awkward for me, too.
PSA: First Week of School Advice, Version 1.0
Posted on August 24, 2008Congratulations, 1Ls. You're here, you're in, you've signed on for a solid 3 years of angst. Yippy skippy, right? As promised, I have some words of wisdom for you. There will be more forthcoming- you know I like to talk.1. First things first: Sit yourself down...
Law School Roundup #135
Posted on August 24, 2008Welcome to Law School Roundup #136, the Oh-N0-It's-School-Time-Again edition.Incidentally, I've been trying to include one never-before-included blogger each week, with varying success. If you see someone fun, feel free to interrupt my Food Network marathon to keep me informed...
On-Campus Ouch?
Posted on August 20, 2008The only thing more fun than on-campus interviews? On campus interviews with a sunburn.Yipes.
Law School Roundup #134
Posted on August 18, 2008This week's Law School Roundup is at Legal Underground.Check back here for next week's installment!
In Which You Thank God I Am Not Your Proof Reader
Posted on August 17, 2008Today, I am proof-reading the Anti-Gunner's writing sample. I do this because I am a good person, and also because he is buying my beer for the month of September.I can drink an astounding amount of oatmeal stout, and I really, really don't like OCI season, so it could be a pricey month for him...
Olympic Minutiae?
Posted on August 11, 2008Dear NBC,Human interest blah blah blah. I still don't care what Michael Phelps eats for breakfast.Although he has gotten much hotter since the last Olympics. So thanks for that footage. I'd totally make out with him now.Kisses!Nobody
Law School Roundup #133
Posted on August 11, 2008Welcome to the 133rd Edition of the Law School Roundup- the middle-of-the-night edition.I just got home: real, honest to goodness home, so I've been in a bit of a food coma- I apologize for the delay. With no further ado:Olympic Hopes: It's good to have dreams (think like a woman...
Dear Tyra: Please?
Posted on August 06, 2008Dear Tyra,After a year's worth of non-stop America's Next Top Model marathons, how is it possible that you're giving me nothing now? You're killing me. It is vacation. Get with the program.I can only watch Animal Planet for so long, and I'm trying not to get a job...
Home, home, home again!
Posted on August 05, 2008I'm back from my adventures in the Great Big World, and home again in NoTown, relieved of the pressures of having to choose from actual 'cuisine' and 'vegetables' when dining out, and back in the company of Roommate and Roommate's crazy cat, Sofa (thus named for her squishiness, nappiness, and tendency to gravitate toward her favorite place)...
In which you thank God you are not dating me.
Posted on July 30, 2008So I pick up my phone, and see that I have 3 missed calls, all from Darwin, and 2 voicemails. Naturally concerned, I listen to the first voicemail. He sounds like death on toast, so as soon as he gets to "I'm having a really bad day," I hang up the phone, and call his cell (I am a worst-case scenario kind of girl)...
Law School Roundup #131
Posted on July 28, 2008Welcome to this week's installment of the Law School Roundup, featuring posts from law students to be, current, and not so far away from graduation that they've fully recovered.Happy reading!Sorry for the late posting, I was out of town, being irresponsible...
Somebody pooped on Jason Bateman!
Posted on July 23, 2008...Or, "A train of consciousness, courtesy of me, filled with links"Really though. Somebody did.Also, it is reassuring that the Victorians still had my sentiments about babies:Unless they are Jason Bateman's babies. Hmm.I am all Jezebel-ed out today. You should be, too, since (1) it is awesome, and (2) today is Wednesday...
Thoughts my mother wishes I hadn't had today: The Tuesday Edition
Posted on July 22, 20081. I can get my calcium from Half-Baked, I think. Right? Right.2. My world would go much better with an early-era Britney Spears sound track.3. Speaking of which. New rule: less with the pants wearing, more with the Popsicles. It's summer, after all.4...
Hello, friends & visitors!
Posted on July 21, 2008Two favorite hits of the day, courtesy of Sitemeter:From the "US Courts" domain in DC: I choose to believe that The Powers That Be are now avid fans. How could they not be? Hi guys!On the other end of the spectrum....From the Indianapolis Zoo: YES. MONKEYS READ MY BLOG...
A Tom Chapin interlude
Posted on June 11, 2008I grew up on Tom Chapin (Billy the Squid, anyone? Ghost of Bleak House? Yes, we watched alot of public television too.)So, in honor of grades coming out and the last vestiges of anything I might have learned in 1L drifting off in a martini-clouded haze: a musical interlude, by Tom...
Random Google Roundup, Version 2.0
Posted on June 08, 2008So, after tooling around on SiteMeter today after some absence (the internet is monitored at work, etc, etc), I discovered two little gems, which might tell me more about who's been trotting around this humble blog, and how very much we have in common...
Sandra Day is video-game-tastic
Posted on June 05, 2008One can only imagine my delight when, sliding into jeans and getting comfortable after a long day of work, I came across this headline on my Google News:"Retired Supreme Court Justice Unveils Video Game" Atta girl. I'd play.
Does God have Gmail?
Posted on June 05, 2008No longer content with taking over the world, Google sets its sights on taking over the universe.
Grades....great.
Posted on June 03, 2008Today, I am sitting in a coffee shop, coming to terms with my own mediocrity.Having the latest batch of grades today, I can practically hear my chances of making a journal/being successful/working myself into an early grave pissing away.Blech. It hurts, more than a little.
The Voice of Reason chimes in on mediocrity
Posted on June 03, 2008Since I was clearly being self-pitying yesterday re: grades, etc., I naturally reached out to former coworker The Voice of Reason for a little sympathy.The Voice of Reason is notoriously skilled at bringing me back down to earth. Also, she, like me, finds incompetence hilarious, and seems to draw it like ants to honey...
Summer Reading is F-U-N
Posted on May 31, 2008This has been going around the blogosphere, and literary nerd that I am, I couldn't help but jump in. The list below comes from LibraryThing, which is clearly just a delightful excuse to add more goodies onto an already too-long "things to buy from Amazon" list...
Wait...you want me to...work?
Posted on May 31, 2008I know, I know....I've been a sporadic little poster, haven't I?I don't really have a legitimate excuse, except "Trying to drive the length of the country sans internet" and also "isolated from other 1Ls, don't have many funny things to say."However: I did come across this in my online ramblings- www...
In Which We Learn that I have Bad Travel Karma
Posted on May 14, 2008So I'm stuck in the Cleveland Airport. This is either the start of a horrible joke (isn't my life just one big joke some times?), or just another tragic statement of reality...It turns out, I bear the worst travel karma of anyone else I know. Currently, I'm thanking my lucky stars that nothing has been cancelled, and nobody's asked me to (a) sit co-pilot, or (b) "step on the scale, please" before boarding my flight (yeah...
Stick a fork in me, I'm done
Posted on May 08, 2008Done, done, done with finals. More done than a steak in Hell's Kitchen, and happier than a 4 year old in a lollipop factory.How was it? Well....It was...."utterly macabre."* I don't think these things get any better with time. Last semester, I infused a little personal drama into finals week- it made the whole experience fly by like a very, very, ugly, book-filled avalanche...
Oooh. Law School is sparkly-fun.
Posted on April 28, 2008If this doesn?t thrill you with excitement? ?Traditional Exceptions to the Contributory Negligence Bar in a Comparative Fault Regime? ?you are probably already dead inside.In other recent news: have been at the Friendly Little Coffeehouse so long/for so many days consecutively, have now met every member of the owners' family, all of the staff, and been adopted by the regulars...
Finals Blow, but Coffee is Nice.
Posted on April 23, 2008Fact: If you are ever wondering: ?gee, should I get that extra shot of espresso in my very lovely drink?? the answer is always ?yes, certainly, you deserve it,? - it will make your inevitable tumble down the front of the student union so much less painful and disgruntling...
Dear Law Review: I am much smarter than I look
Posted on April 09, 2008Last night, after a very long day, I got stuck walking home in the rain. Nobody answered my phone calls, small children threw rocks at me, and the world's smallest violin played "My Heart Cries For You." In a nutshell, it was rough. Part of my funk was due to the fact that, law school being the bubbling cauldron of misinformation that it is, I had determined that the law review write-on competition was: 1...
May It Please the Court, because it certainly doesn't please me.
Posted on April 09, 2008For those that are wondering, oral arguments went well. Law prom also went well, but that's a story for another blog entry. By "well," I mean that I neither cried nor had to fake narcolepsy (at either!), so all in all, a productive evening. My legs were shaking so badly that I kicked a cord loose on my podium- I solved the trembling problem by gripping onto the thing like my ship was going down...
Here's to You, Mr. I Decided to Wear Cologne Today
Posted on April 08, 2008Roommate's Ode to the Yummy:Here's to you Mr. I Decided To Wear Cologne. Your insistence on smelling good amidst a crowd of male law students who either smell bad or not at all is a breath of fresh air (no pun intended). You refuse to let law school drag you down, and you give hope to the rest of us...
Things that are more fun than law school, part 921
Posted on April 06, 2008I have no self control. Or a property outline.I do have:Cream cheese wontonsHot & Sour soupGeneral Tsao's chickenAmerica's Next Top Model.Blue MoonA sunny Sunday afternoonThe moral of the story is: Self control is overrated.Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Conscience.
Noted-Fashion-Photographer, what?
Posted on March 31, 2008I am a not-that-closet America's Next Top Model fan. Yeah, yeah- cue eyerolling/gasps of empathy and recognition. The thing is- its like crack. I just can't stop. Which is why, now that the last episode has re-aired, I'm going to put this out in the blogosphere:There was a Challenge for all the little would-be-Tyras to complete (bear with me here)...
Memo #8: Just because it covers your skin doesn't mean it's clothing
Posted on March 30, 2008Dear NoState Law School (Personnel Management Division), We may need to have an intervention. You see, I understand that you are Very Far From Fashionable and The Coasts and Frequently Misguided and also have a population clearly resembling your burgeoning beef industry...
The Prince is Giving a Ball!
Posted on March 28, 2008Law prom tonight, law prom tonight, the boys are in ties and the girls are in heels, its law prom tonight!Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen: it's true. The one, the only, the social event of the year- Law Prom. Thankfully, we've been preparing for this law school (high school?) right of passage for some time...
But I GOT the flu shot!
Posted on March 12, 2008I have the plague. Blah.Also, turns out that cold medication makes me much, much, stupider. I am in fact a smarter drunk than I am a sick person. Not a good sign for my immediate future, great news for my future legal career.
In Which We Change Our Life Plans to Something Easier & More Cliche
Posted on March 05, 2008FMF: I'm perusing blogs to avoid a) planning my 8 am class or preparing the handout and b) reading the second have of Hegel's Philosophy of Right. If it's going to make me stupider--or merely make me feel that way--I want none of it, thank you Nobody: I feel like that is an excellent life philosophy...
Thoughts of the Day #7: The Diplomat on the Democratic Process
Posted on February 28, 2008The Diplomat, on Civics-Class inspired optimism:"Congress needs a case study and a trial period and a legit reason for all those things....they got these kids hopes up, like they can really change the world. Well, you can change the world: if you want to name a post office or something we can do that on the first try...
We're not smiling because we like you, we're smiling because we mock you. Kisses from the Nobody household!
Posted on February 28, 2008Today in Contracts:Roommate:We have to buy tickets for law prom. We also have to buy tickets together, so we can make fun of everyone else without shouting. Lets remember to bring checkbooks tomorrow, k?- Nobody--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------N:Check and check...
Misappropriation of Terms: "Snarky"
Posted on February 27, 2008Dear Sneaky Bastard,Your adoring public has been long-awaiting your inevitable online evisceration. For some time, I resisted mocking you here- you have so few friends, you see, and I pitied you as you cried silent tears of self-loathing into your Con Law reading...
Gosh, employment feels nice.
Posted on February 19, 2008Future Dream Boss is now just Dream-Boss-to-Be! Hooray!There will be an imminent dance party to celebrate- meet me in the living room, I'm the one with the Pringles.Future updates to follow...in the meantime, I think I may have the plague.
Time Management? That's for undergrads.
Posted on February 12, 2008Dear Professor Letter of Rec, Remember what I said about "maturing" and "learning to put school work first"? I promised you that my procrastinating days were over. I said that I had turned over a new leaf. Gosh. I am so, so, sorry about that. Old dog, new tricks...
No Diving: Sticking a Toe in the Law School Dating Pool
Posted on February 10, 2008"Dating as a grad is like trying to execute a perfect, 1 and 1/2 twist dive--into the shallow end. Of the kiddie pool." -- Funny Mean Friend, on the Grad School dating scene *When FMF is dead on, well...she's dead on. More power to all of you in your shiny happy little grad school relationships- y'all are the Olympians of the dating scene, I swear it...
The return of Self-Indulgence Tuesdays
Posted on February 05, 2008A bit of law school arithmetic:Kahlua + ice cream = AmazingKahlua + ice cream + fire = Hott.Kahlua + ice cream + fire + The Office = DivineKahlua + ice cream + fire + The Office + The Office Quoting Princess Bride = TranscendentBest. Tuesday. Ever. I highly recommend it.
No, I Don't Have an Outlook Appointment With Your Name On It
Posted on February 05, 2008Oh for Pete's sake, boys.We've had the talk. I don't want to have it again. I didn't want it to come to this, but someone had to be a spokeswoman for the group, and I drew the short straw:-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Over-Exuberant Male 2Ls,Honey-bunches-of-oats, I know...
Productive Procrastination, or "Ace of Base makes me want to be a decorator"
Posted on February 03, 2008Woke up this morning to the sweet, sweet sounds of Ace of Base, and rocked out in my pajamas. When you've gotta dance, you've just gotta dance.Roommate is gone this weekend, and I swore to myself that I was going to have the Most Productive Weekend Ever in her absence...
Dear Dream Boss: You are funny! Lets hang out.
Posted on January 30, 2008Its 1L interview season! Wooohooo. Yes, firm-in-city-I-don't-really-know, I love love love that city. Its my dream city! My second cousin lives there. We are likethis. I will never, ever leave. Pay me lots of money? Thanks.I'm (naturally) still unemployed, though I will probably have the decency to be coy about it when & if I con some unsuspecting employer into hiring me...
Roommate on interviews
Posted on January 30, 2008There's a smattering of people walking around in suits today, mostly looking insufferable. Because I am not interviewing today, I am feeling particularly judgy- which is not to say that I am not typically judgy, but I am feeling more judgy than usual...
Life philosophy & baked goods
Posted on January 27, 2008Woke up this morning in a cold-medication induced fog, to find a message on my phone.Since no one ever calls me, this was sort of surprising. Upon opening the message, I found an extra-special photo from Funny Mean Friend: a cookie, iced (white) emblazoned in big red writing with the motto "I win...
Fatty wants a cookie?
Posted on January 24, 2008Dear "law school is making me fat" searcher:Hey, me too! But please see the previous conversation with Roommate- law school is not making you fat, it is making you self-loathing. Believe me, I have to clarify for myself sometimes, too.I know that we've picked a crazy, sadistic profession, full of crippling self esteem problems and equally embarrassing drinking "habits": but wouldn't it be easier to hate yourself over something a little less teen-angsty?There are sexier, more grownup ways to freak out: ones that actually involve consuming tremendous amounts of self-indulgent food and liquor, instead of wishing you could...
An Update on the Lamp Situation
Posted on January 21, 2008The Changing of the Lamp has come.There were men in robes and doomsdays signs, and the works.Never fear though- with the moral support of 4 strong men and women, one brave soul managed not only to change the lamp (amidst much shushing from the Moral Support Division), but to move Old Lamp (substandard, lacking in social graces, and completely insufficient Old Lamp) to the table directly behind us, and to replace it with New Lamp (appears physically the same in every regard, but almost certainly has special, as-yet-undiscovered super powers which merit this level of pomp & circumstance)...
Beware the Coming of the Lamp: overwrought with excitement in the library
Posted on January 21, 2008School has started again, with a vengeance, and our class schedules appear to have been specifically organized to cause the maximum damage to our psyches. Given that this is an entirely sadist career and educational choice, I shouldn?t be surprised, but consolidating a whole mess of fractured, frightened little 1Ls up next to the construction noise next door and then demanding Constitutional Law of them seems a bit much- and they?ve taken away our laptops! This is not an environment conducive to learning, or Scrabulous...
An uncomfortable flashback? Oh yes.
Posted on January 16, 2008So, the job search. About that.Hi, Mom & Dad. Yes, I'm still unemployed. But I was thinking- you know what would be great? Event planning! No, I don't know "what kind of law I want to practice," and no, I don't really want to talk about it....let's talk about event planning!Really, I feel they ought to pat me on the back for not developing a drug dependency, and call it a day...
Whoops, my bad...
Posted on January 11, 2008Ok, but really- I promise I'll start posting when school starts again.Roommate tells me I have a package, and loads of mail. Yeah!Oh wait. Yeah for the package, which almost certainly contains my not-$140 Property book, and boooooooo for the mail, which is my stack o' rejection from the resume drop this fall...
Deep Sigh of Relief? Annnnd........Breathe.
Posted on December 21, 2007Finals are over. More on that later, when it won't make my brain bleed.Packed in a foggy, somewhat drunk, and exceedingly tired state last night/into the wee hours this morning. To no one's surprise, I've forgotten my power cord to the wee computer.To a number of people's surprise, I may have forgotten to pack pants...
Correspondance from the Front: Finals Still Not That Fun
Posted on December 17, 2007N: Law school is making me fat. I am never hungry, yet constantly eating. I don?t even really want Pringles, but you know, if we had some, I?d eat them all. I will drink white Russians and watch ANTM and try to pretend that its actually next Wednesday night and I have my life back...
Geekity geek geek geek: Language is fun!
Posted on December 16, 2007I would comment on this, but I'm trying to teach myself civil procedure:NY Times: We Love Us Some Commas, Says Court
Academic Planning with Roommate: Pringles Recommended.
Posted on December 12, 2007Ensconced among the stacks, its nearly impossible to keep track of time, and I'm beginning to feel even more disconnected from the outside world.Also, am beginning to smell like musty old books and bad 70's furniture. Gross.On the plus side, I have Roommate to email incessantly, the better to distract her and keep me entertained...
Thoughts of the Day #7: All I Want For Christmas
Posted on December 10, 2007All I want for Christmas is an on-campus bakery.Is that so much to ask? No more seran-wrapped, sticky-stale muffins: bring me back to the day when I could have a hot cup of coffee and a slice of poundcake on my way to class. With buttercream icing!No matter how happy my French Press and magical wonder-coffee make me, its just not the same without proper baked goods...
Hello, I'm in Grad School. Of COURSE I have inadequacy issues.
Posted on December 08, 2007If I am not dreaming in outline form, it is because I am not sleeping.For this reason, I will be taking blogging short-cuts (as opposed to usually, when I take them out of sheer laziness) for the next week or two.The following exchange between self & The Other Grad which more or less accurately depicts my current state of mind (and that of my classmates)...
Memo #8: Letters Home
Posted on December 06, 2007Beloved family, I was recently reminded that the holiday season is approaching. So are finals. On this note, I would like to make a holiday announcement regarding gift-giving this year: I give no presents. You get my love, and be glad I have any of that left to spare...
Tortious Behavior!
Posted on November 29, 2007Thanks to SLLS, I discovered today that I am a saucy little tort...Are you?
Memo #7: Post Script
Posted on November 28, 2007Post Script: have just realized that the Three are actually the Five: the lesser were booted to adjoining tables. Good heavens, it?s a migration!
Memo #7: Check Yes or No?
Posted on November 28, 2007Dear Three Blind Mice, I know the library is very crowded at this time of year. And clearly, the prospect of being separated must be truly terrifying to you. I know you survive best in the herd environment. However: is it really necessary to sit shoulder to shoulder, three-across, at the library study tables? Shocking as this may be, they put two chairs on each side for a reason...
Fun and Games with Silly Little Dogs
Posted on November 27, 2007Hee hee hee....Not entirely certain if the evil giggle I get out of the link below (listened to sans audio, so let me know how that goes for you, I'm in the library) is fair or mature. Regardless, how could you not love it? Waddle, waddle, waddle...bam!
Post Holiday Breakdown: Migration of the Crazies
Posted on November 27, 2007Went home over Thanksgiving weekend, and, as I was flying, got to have the requisite ?freaky airline people? experiences. The problem was exacerbated as the fact that NoSchool?s airport is the crown jewel in the Annoying Airports of the World tiara, and was full of what could only be termed ?a crush of humanity...
Thoughts of the Day #6: Please stop, I hate you.
Posted on November 26, 2007Every damn time Sneaky Bastard opens his mouth, steaming piles of moron come spewing out like vomit.It makes me cringe every time he raises his hand.Would it be so much to ask for him to just stop talking for a day? I think it may be giving me migraines...
Thoughts of the Day #5: An Abuse of Good Sense & Fabric
Posted on November 21, 2007Dear me. Why, oh why, oh why would one take a perfectly nice piece of fabric and turn it into something this offensive?I'm perturbed. It looks like something the Elegant Freak would wear.
Dispatches from the Field: FMF Is Concerned With The Future of America
Posted on November 20, 2007When the going gets tough, the tough call on Funny Mean Friend, to remind them that there are, in fact, more useless people in this world than a whole mess of 1Ls having a mass panic attack.Dear Nobody, This is what I've figured out about today's students...
I miss my old life.
Posted on November 18, 2007Um, hello, yes............this is our life now, until Christmas.Unrelated: Today, had a rare moment of being grateful for someone else's smarts. Good work, Clark Kent!Either age or the change of scenery is making me increasingly allergic to talking politics.
Thoughts of the Day #4: What is good for the mind may not, in fact, be good for body & soul
Posted on November 15, 2007Despite best efforts, have just caught sight of self in mirror after 6 1/2 hours in library. Look like death warmed over, pummelled by ugly train, and served with garnish of funk.Fabulous.
The Doctor Will See You Now: Please Find a Spot On the Couch...
Posted on November 15, 2007Nobody: Law school fuckin' sucks, dude.The Other Grad: I can't WAIT for this quarter to be over. I bet your life is turning into a lot of fun right now too...Nobody: it blows fat monkey chunks. Got publicly mocked twice this week.TOG: shitefucker. (I'm listening, and also providing you with fun facts...
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