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Law Students

Law School for Dummies

By "Justice Moustache

Post Frequency: 0.5/day

Last Entry: February 26, 2010 at 18:37:00

Simon's latest victim: aspiring American Idol Alberto Hurtado

Posted on January 22, 2008
This is a rare gem... Please, please watch it. I promise it's worth it."You are the equivalent of a storm cloud on a sunny day..."

No good deed goes unpunished

Posted on January 21, 2008
I'm not an idiot (well, not completely at least), and I realize that non-profit, not-for profit, etc. organizations, causes and charities rely on repeat donors in order to sustain themselves. It makes sense and I don't knock them for it.However... there is a constructive way and a counterproductive way of doing this...

Paging Dr. Phil to the Moron of the Week podium

Posted on January 14, 2008
As much as it pains me to give even more attention to the awe-inspiring nuclear meltdown that is Britney Spears, it also gives me an opportunity to trash the ridiculously self-serving and obnoxious goober- ishness of Dr. Phil. Howard Stern had some choice words about the good doctor on Letterman the other night, not the least of which was his pointing out the fact that a Ph...

My Fellow Americans,

Posted on January 10, 2008
This is called a "roundabout:"It is a very simple traffic tool that promotes efficient travel by auto-mo-bile. It has had great success in virtually every other country in the Western world, so I assure you they do in fact work when used properly. However, since some of you more brain-dead amoebas cannot seem to master the intricacies of this simple engineering device (e...

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A Glimmer of Hope for you Disgruntled 1Ls

Posted on January 08, 2008
Most of my grades are now in, and things are looking quite a bit brighter than they did at this time last year, to say the least. The main differences: I learned how to study.I learned how to write exams.I'm no longer being graded against my 1L section (which, unlike the rest of the sections, was half composed of law review members)...

Stop posting grades for classes other than mine

Posted on December 26, 2007
Waiting.... waaaaiiiiiiting....

Some limited wisdom for the 1L or law school hopeful

Posted on December 10, 2007
Almost halfway done--woot! Since I'm approaching the midway point, I'll share a few gems I've picked up over the past 16 months.1. Some professors--not many, but some--are extremely lazy. If you have a hunch about one, it's probably right, and the grades will be given out with no particular rhyme or reason...

THIS JUST IN--

Posted on December 02, 2007
drinking rum and watching football is more fun than studying for finals.We'll have more news on this breaking story as it develops.

A limerick from the empty caverns of my mind

Posted on November 21, 2007
Ten days with no classes--gadzooks!Now the student can make his grades higher;But instead of outlining and minding the books,He spent most of it watching The Wire:

American Gangster Punch

Posted on November 10, 2007
This evening Mrs. Moustache and I went out to see the latest picture show, "American Gangster." Since it was a late viewing, we had some time to kill, and as we were passing by the local package store while en route to the cinema house, we hopped in for a package...

Separated at Birth?

Posted on November 07, 2007
Atlanta Hawks guard Joe Johnson,and...... actor Eriq LaSalle

Aha!

Posted on November 06, 2007
I finally realized today that the whole "thinking like a lawyer" thing is really just law school orientation jargon for "using a balancing test to justify whatever conclusion you want." My first year my head was so focused on getting the issues, facts, and holdings of every case that I failed to recognize--until now--that balancing tests control the world...

Dear Krystal Chili Cheese Pups,

Posted on October 19, 2007
Despite the fact that I devour you at 3:30am on a near-weekly basis and am growing tired of waking up next to your empty boxes, I remain in awe of your deliciousness.Love,J.M.PS. If you make me fat I'll fucking shoot you.

A Plea to the Shoely Challenged

Posted on October 09, 2007
Is anybody else sick of seeing dudes in flip-flops? I understand wearing them to run out to the store or something--but 80% of the guys I went to college/go to law school with wear the same pair of flip flops everywhere, every single day. It's disgusting...

Sadly, this is my life

Posted on October 04, 2007
Every weeknight around 11:30 or so, I invariably end up in the kitchen and return with this combination (or some variety thereof).

Fun with the Commerce Clause

Posted on October 02, 2007
A fantastically ironic story relating to Heart of Atlanta Motel (the Supreme Court case that blew open the Commerce power and helped bring about the Civil Rights Act of 1964). The crazy racist owner is still alive and ticking... and causing trouble. What a bastard!

I guess those torts cases really do happen in real life

Posted on October 01, 2007
I was driving on the interstate back to school from Big City the other morning when all of a sudden the car started shaking violently. I looked in the rearview mirror and it was like the thing was clamped in one of those industrial paint can mixers--I couldn't see a damn thing the mirror was shaking so hard...

Surrounded by idiots

Posted on September 27, 2007
Text to criminal procedure classmate: Better think twice about eating a french fry on the DC subway if you're a 12-year old girl. The Supreme Court will let them lock your ass upResponse: Thurgood Marshall must have just banged his head against the wall for hours every day after work

Young co-ed or toothless heroin junkie? A tough choice

Posted on September 25, 2007
While there are several problems with the fact that this story below even happened, I'll start with this: hey, dingus--in case you didn't get this memo in your orientation packet, YOU'RE A DIVISION-I QUARTERBACK AT THE BIGGEST SCHOOL IN THE COUNTRY. I think you just might be able to find a few campus floozies to give up the goods on any given night...

Moron/Piece of Shit of the Week

Posted on September 20, 2007
and I don't even really like cats, but what an absolute degenerate. Police: D[R]acula man fed live cats to dog A man in Gwinnett County captured kittens to feed live to his pit bull, investigators said Thursday.Sheriff's deputies charged 21-year-old Tye Hilmo Thursday with aggravated cruelty to animals, said Stacey Bourbonnais, spokeswoman for the Gwinnett County Sheriff's Department...

Interview Douche

Posted on September 18, 2007
Interview season is upon us, and with it the golden opportunity for conceited douchebags aplenty to sign up for every single firm that comes to campus--even ones they have no intention of joining if selected--solely because it will give them increased chances to wear a suit to school and thereby tell everybody "hey, guess what...

Get your hot dogs and poker off my damn television

Posted on September 12, 2007

Ezekiel, you play right midfield--Judas, you're in goal

Posted on September 11, 2007
This evening I received a yellow card for an obscenity-laden tirade during an intramural soccer game versus the Baptist Student Union.It began with a horrendous call (after the keeper slid in front of me and I cut inside towards the goal, he grabbed my legs and wouldn't let go, and, unable to move my legs, I eventually fell on top of him...

To those law students also in the job race

Posted on September 07, 2007
Has anyone (2Ls or 3Ls) had any experience cold-mailing resumes and cover letters? Everyone keeps telling me this is a necessary complement (even though responses are generally meager) to the job search process, but it seems like a huge waste of time...

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