Miscellaneous

The Daily Memo - 9/29/08

Posted on September 29, 2008
New York judge to attorney trying to withdraw from a case because he doesn't want to pay twenty grand in witness fees that his clients may not be able to pay back: "You're a lawyer, right? So you get what...

It's good to be the Judge

Posted on September 29, 2008
Me, I get a DUI, I get tossed in the clink. You, you get a DUI, you get tossed in the clink. You or me, we get a second DUI, you better believe we get tossed in the clink. A...

Cue up the Ringling Brothers music now, maestro, if you'd be so kind...

Posted on September 29, 2008
So Sheriff's deputies are called to your house because of a domestic disturbance between you and your husband. Your husband gets arrested, and now it's your turn. But you don't want to go to jail -- you ain't going out...

I, too, try to hide my discomfort behind my adorability!

Posted on September 29, 2008
Not as funny as the first one, particularly since the interview it's based on was so damn (unintentionally) amusing on its own. But it still has a few good bits:...

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My Life on the Suing-the-Shit-Out-of-You List

Posted on September 29, 2008
Emmy-winner Kathy Griffin has ... wait a minute? Emmy winner? Seriously people, when are we going to recognize how ridiculously worthless all these Hollywood awards are? I mean, as proven by last weekend's lowest-rated-ever Emmy broadcast, they don't even give...

Sarah Palin Hates These Witches

Posted on September 26, 2008
So, I've been hearing about a video involving Sarah Palin's church pastor, who did some sort of exorcism in church or something. And I thought, well, at worse, Sarah Palin might have been in the church and witnessed it....

Bill O'Reilly Flips Out, Starts to Make Sense

Posted on September 26, 2008
You've gotta listen to this clip. I mean it. O'Reilly goes off on right-wing radio. Seriously, goes off on the deep end. Angry, yelly, O'Reilly. Of course, he goes after Barney Frank ("you big fat toad"), too. But, hey!...

Ahhhh! Putin's Head Enter's Alaskan Airspace

Posted on September 26, 2008
There is nothing more terrifying than the thought of Putin's head floating around in Alaskan airspace. I hope he can't shoot lasers from his eyes. (Sorry about the image -- I'm not exactly a Photoshop expert; it's the best I...

Righteo, duderino

Posted on September 26, 2008
(This happy hippy brought to you by The Smoking Gun.)...

I'm guessing it was Hudson Hawk

Posted on September 25, 2008
There are so many jokes that can be made about this story that I don't even know where to begin, so I'm just giving it to you: A 40-year-old man walking his dog in the nude Friday night in northwest...

Hi. It's Sarah Palin -- Does This Mean I'm Pars'ident Now?

Posted on September 25, 2008
How many of you folks went to bed last night with your head spinning? I'm one of those goddamn news junkies, who spent the entire night in front of one of the various cable shows (Olbermann, Maddow, Cooper, Stewart, Letterman...

The latest reason McCain is full of shit....

Posted on September 25, 2008
So McCain suspended his campaign and said he's not showing up to Friday night's debate unless legislation is passed resolving the financial clusterfuck we're in. Because shit doesn't get done in Washington unless Old Man McCain is there to git...

The Dark Bailout

Posted on September 25, 2008
Meh. (H/T Film Experience)...

Here's Some Honest Diversity of Opinion

Posted on September 25, 2008
I spend too much time on left-wing blogs or watching the "liberal elites" on the cablers. So, in an effort to see what the other side is saying, I checked out some conservative blogs this afternoon, just to see. Here's...

Mommy ... hold me ... I'm ... so cold and scared ...

Posted on September 25, 2008
"Just the tip," is an oft-used line by teenagers hoping to get an inch of nookie. Now it has an entirely different and altogether uncomfortable meaning.... A Shelby County man and his wife said two doctors amputated the man's penis...

The Daily Memo - 9/25/08

Posted on September 25, 2008
So after January 1 I can't text in my car anymore? That's valuable billable time going to waste, man! (LAist) Biden's met just a few more foreign leaders than Palin. (The Trail) Good times at Tampa Bay games once more,...

Are We Headed Toward Martial Law?

Posted on September 24, 2008
Diane Rehm is a crazy left-wing nutjob, but she's got a show on NPR, so she must know something, right? Anyway, she's reporting here that the United States, for the first time ever, is putting an active army unit...

Irony is Thy Name!

Posted on September 24, 2008
Do as I say, not as I do. A Maryland state delegate who called for "DUI" license plates that would be issued to people convicted more than once of drunken driving has been charged with driving under the influence himself....

The courts have no appreciation of good literature...

Posted on September 24, 2008
From The Columbus Dispatch: A southwest Ohio judge has ruled that a man acquitted of rape cannot adopt the name of the lead character in a famous novel about wrongful imprisonment and revenge. Former Miami University student Jason Landis wanted...

The Daily Memo - 9/24/08

Posted on September 24, 2008
A new Supreme Court term is around the corner, and while it looks to have less drama than the last one, it's still early. (Law.com) Google and some internet companies are telling the Bush Administration to shove its new copyright...

Campbell Brown: Trendsetter?

Posted on September 24, 2008
CNN's Campbell Brown has always struck me as the sorority girl type who got called dumb by a professor, so she went to J-school and studied her ass off while her friends were out fucking their brains out. Cause...

Throw away the fucking key while you're at it

Posted on September 24, 2008
This charming young man is a convicted sex offender. And a fucking idiot. Back in July, he was put on probation. One of the terms of his probation was that he had to stay away from kids. Forty minutes later...

Hey Gov'ner lady! Show us ya' tits!

Posted on September 24, 2008
New York's The Daily News decided to hire a look-alike to walk the Big Apple's streets pretending to be Sarah Palin. Some folks seemed to dig her, but this man's quote is the real gem: "You're hot! But I hope...

Good! Suspend the little Twerp

Posted on September 23, 2008
Since when did 11-year-old kids start espousing hateful political speech. Oh yeah. When their parents became hateful fuckers. See, e.g.: An 11-year-old in Aurora says his first amendment rights are being trampled after he was suspended for wearing a homemade...

The Absolute Worst Presidential Campaign Ad. Ever.

Posted on September 23, 2008
At least McCain's ads are provocative, even if they are completely false. This one: Holy shit. Talking to a parrot? Animal metaphors? The only thing it's missing is panda rape. (Image Courtesy of Pajiba's jM)...

Al Frankes Hearts Rape

Posted on September 23, 2008
And here's the problem with running for political office when you once were a comedy writer. So much material can be used against you. And that's ... okay. Because, doggone it ... ah, screw it....

The Daily Memo - 9/23/08

Posted on September 23, 2008
Arrrrrrrrr.... Activision is suing game pirates. (Wired Blog) What? But how can this bailout be anything but wonderful, glorious news? (Concurring Opinions) Seriously people, an additional $700 billion burden is awesome. (CNN Money) A lawyer filed a $20 million lawsuit...

This Ain't No Nigerian Email ....

Posted on September 23, 2008
SUBJECT: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP DEAR AMERICAN: I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE. I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY...

Dane Cook v. Dog Poop....

Posted on September 23, 2008
How do you tell which is which?...

Yeah, that's right.

Posted on September 23, 2008
So I'm carrying some guns, cop. Whadda you care? The ladies love these guns. Even some of the guys love these guns. These guns! Oh yeah! (These guns brought to you by The Smoking Gun.)...

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