Miscellaneous

A Sooner is a Cheater

Posted on October 16, 2009
So it's that time of year again when I have to update all my shots because of the close physical proximity I'm going to be in to people who regularly have sex with farm animals and have poor hygiene. That's...

Redeye Repulsive

Posted on September 22, 2009
This is the grossest story I've ever told here. Sunday afternoon I was walking around in my front yard when I saw a pile of dogshit. This is nothing new or remarkable; assholes are always letting their mutts shit in...

2009 Texas Longhorns Football Preview

Posted on September 03, 2009
One play. One play prevented us from playing in the Big XII Championship Game and the BCS National Championship last year. We were that close. Don't get me wrong - I'm not dissatisfied with the season. 11-1 and Fiesta Bowl...

Redeye Rant

Posted on August 13, 2009
We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you this Redeye Rant. Generalist Ignorance I'm going to coin a new phrase. The phrase is "generalist ignorance." Generalist ignorance occurs when someone knows nothing, or very little, of a subject yet...

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Ojo Rojo is Married Part II: Ojo Gets Engaged

Posted on August 02, 2009
Probably the most common advice that comes to anyone considering whether to pop the question is "When you know, you know." That's either brilliant or really unhelpful. For me, there was no "moment" when I just knew. When I look...

Ojo Rojo is Married Part I: Ojo Meets His Future Wife

Posted on July 23, 2009
I regret that I did not make this blog more a part of the goings-on of the wedding, especially since the blog itself played a rather large role in getting me together with my now wife. (Wife...wife...how long does it...

Ojo's Bachelor Party

Posted on June 30, 2009
***I started writing a bunch of posts and left them in draft status either because I was too distracted to make them right or because I was too busy to finish them. I'm going to touch a few of them...

I Finally Had My Abraham Lincoln Dream

Posted on March 27, 2009
Isn't it written somewhere that every real American has to have an Abraham Lincoln dream before they die? Well, last night I had mine. I normally think that people talking about their dreams is hokey drivel and people always want...

The Decline of American Business and Culture - and - The Extended List of Ojo's Million-Dollar Ideas

Posted on March 20, 2009
These two things actually happened: I recently bought a mountain bike off of Craigslist. It's a 2002 Trek 8000, which is a really, really good bike. It retailed for $1,100 brand new. The owner listed it for $475. When I...

Pwned

Posted on March 18, 2009

Living in the World

Posted on March 14, 2009
I don't post about my job very often; that's by design. I also don't post about my relationship with my future wife very much either. Both for a lot of the same reasons. Probably the biggest is that it could...

It's a Fucked Year

Posted on February 11, 2009
No Marissa Miller in this year's SISE.

The Garage Sale Story

Posted on February 09, 2009
Sometime before Christmas, Audra and I decided to have a garage sale. There were a few reasons. One, the pain from our move over a year and a half ago was still fresh in my mind. I can't tell you...

The Ill-Advised Social Filterless Post

Posted on February 06, 2009
I like crass humor, what can I say? I recently thought that it would be really funny in a breakup letter to an ex-girlfriend to say, "So long, and thanks for all the pussy." (The basis of the quote is...

Redeye Update: 2/2/2009

Posted on February 03, 2009
Some people are going to take this as a sexist comment, but it's really not: I'm sorry, but Pat Summit is just about the most unattractive person I have ever seen. (The first is probably this female child I saw...

And at the End There is an Iron Fist

Posted on January 16, 2009
One thing that I really enjoy is taking the mysteries out of life. Reducing unknowns. Learning. See, ignorance leads to fear and fear leads to unhappiness. So the more you know, the happier you can be. Plus, knowledge is empowering....

2008 Retrospective - 2009 What to Watch For Amalgamated

Posted on January 13, 2009
Is it too late for a New Year post? Well, fuckit. By all accounts, 2008 sucked. From a CNN perspective, I guess it did. Gas prices got anger-inducingly high, the economy tanked (so I read), we found out about the...

Texas Football 2008: Fiesta Bowl and Season Recap

Posted on January 06, 2009
First of all, I'd just like to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ because without him, none of this is possible. Second of all, did I nail this motherfucking season, or what? If you recall my preseason prediction post...

The BCS Stands for "Steaming Pile of Shit That Soulless Corporate Types Who Run College Football Make the Fans Eat" and Other Stories

Posted on December 09, 2008
Fuck the BCS. No seriously, find its orifice and insert the biggest and most painfully shaped phallus you can find (preferrably heated to 1000 degrees) and reapeatedly ram the shit out of it unitl it is literally fucked to death....

The BCS Rant

Posted on December 03, 2008
You know, if Blake Gideon's breadbasket didn't have a giant hole in the bottom of it or if Earl Thomas' body-eye coordination hadn't failed him for three tenths of a second at the end of the Tech game this post...

How I Learned That Fish Are Everywhere

Posted on November 25, 2008
"Hello?""Is Troy there?""He's down seinin' at the end of the road.""Oh. Okay. Well, thanks."I hung up the phone. Mrs. McGaugh had recognized my voice and knew who I was. Probably nobody else would have been calling for Troy anyway. I...

The Decline of Western Civilization

Posted on November 21, 2008
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz named their kid Bronx Mowgli. (Maybe it's not that obscure, but points distributed to whoever can tell me the origin of the name Mowgli without using the internet.)

The Muschamp Thing

Posted on November 19, 2008
When I first heard the news that UT had named Will Muschamp as the successor head coach to Mack Brown I thought it was a horrible stunt. Almost immediately, though, I began to see the genius in the move. My...

Redeye Update 11/18/2008

Posted on November 18, 2008
I have a lot to write about, but I've got to make this quick. My job has gone from "SHITSTORM" to "VORTEX OF PANIC," so that's why the scant posting. I'm a little late with it, but I'm glad Obama...

Is Texas Really This Good?

Posted on October 21, 2008
The answer is YES. Coming into the season no one, and I mean no one, had Texas sniffing No. 1 or the National Championship. Everyone figured that the other Big XII schools were more talented and Texas' schedule was just...

Texas OU Weekend

Posted on October 07, 2008
It's only Tuesday and I really can't think about much else. Going to this game has become somewhat of a family tradition. I don't know how many years running or how many times I've been altogether, but this year has...

Hurricane Ike and Shit

Posted on September 22, 2008
As is my custom, I'm blogging about something long after being late doing so was fashionable. We spent the actual landfall of Ike in Austin. We actually drove to POC Wednesday night to save what we could at the Bayhouse....

Texas Water Safari 2008: Saltwater Barrier to Seadrift

Posted on September 04, 2008
I was in very good spirits when we pulled into the Saltwater Barrier. I still had an endorphin buzz so I wasn't hurting that much physically. Plus, I knew that the odds of something going wrong at this point were...

My Olympics

Posted on August 28, 2008
The Olympics have been over for several days and I've been too busy trying to finish my Safari story to write about them. But I watched them everyday, sometimes 3 times a day, for the full two weeks. I missed...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Invista to Saltwater Barrier

Posted on August 27, 2008
We pulled out of the Invista checkpoint after taking on fresh jugs of water and ice. The girls were still getting situated so we decided to go ahead and get our light ready for the coming night. Sitting up front,...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Victoria to Invista

Posted on August 22, 2008
A veteran racer had once told me that he got that "horse headin' toward the barn" feeling at the Victoria checkpoint. In urban terms, that meant that he could see the exit ramp to home after stalling through miles of...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Cuero to Victoria

Posted on August 11, 2008
I slept like the dead on that bare patch of grass under the FM 236 bridge just south of Cuero. I never even noticed the stench from the porta-potties. After what seemed like 5 minutes after I laid down, Audra...

2008 Texas Longhorns Football Preview

Posted on August 08, 2008
Some years I'm really into it; some years I'm not. This in one of those years that I'm into it. (That noise in the background is my fiance' sighing.) Overview Most predictions from the so-called "experts" out there seem to...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Cheapside to Cuero

Posted on July 28, 2008
We left Cheapside a few minutes after boat 259 and worked hard to catch up to them. I was nervous about Cuero dam because we hadn't ever seen it and I wanted to go through with an experienced team who...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Hocheim to Cheapside

Posted on July 23, 2008
The section from Hocheim to Cheapside is the second longest stretch of the course without any access points. Again, you have to be careful to take on enough water for the entire section because if you run out you are...

Dumbest Thing I've Ever Said

Posted on July 18, 2008
"The internet is a farce." I just made this post from my new Palm Treo. Amazing.

Texas Water Safari 2008: Gonzales to Hocheim

Posted on July 11, 2008
Audra came to wake us up exactly 90 minutes after we'd laid down, just as I'd asked. I was already awake and thinking. Since we hadn't planned on sleeping, I hadn't really calculated our exact down time into the splits...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Palmetto to Gonzales

Posted on July 09, 2008
We were in good spirits leaving Palmetto. The night was still young, our light was working well, we felt okay and we were able to appreciate the day's body of work. We had made nearly all of our goals, matched...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Luling to Palmetto

Posted on July 07, 2008
Immediately after leaving the Luling Dam area we came to a slight bend in the river where the current was running into and under a downed tree. There was a crook in the trunk of the tree over the rushing...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Staples to Luling

Posted on June 30, 2008
The stretch of the San Marcos river between Staples and Luling is dreaded by most Safari racers. Reason being, the river is narrow with lots of sharp twists and turns. Worst of all, it is choked with downed trees and...

Texas Water Safari 2008: The Start and Aquarena Springs to Staples

Posted on June 25, 2008
We sat parked in our starting position, dipping our paddles into the water every now and then to keep the boat pointed downstream. We made small talk with the teams nearest us. They announced one minute to go. We got...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Check-in and Pre-race

Posted on June 24, 2008
Every team in the Safari has to check their boat in with a race official on the Friday before the start. We pulled in to Aquarena Springs from Houston around 2:30 in the afternoon. Check-in runs from noon to 5...

The Texas Water Safari: Prelude

Posted on June 12, 2008
Today is the last day I'm going to have internet access until Monday, June 21st, so this is just a short prelude to what is probably going to be a string of long posts about my experience in the Safari....

Sand Dune Bocce

Posted on May 28, 2008
Believe it or not, this is the most fun activity on Earth. Okay, second most. Okay, third most if you don't mind the negative side effects of cocaine. Anyway, as far as I know, this game does not officially exist...

Gomals, Godals and Noffals -or- The Weirdest Post I've Ever Done

Posted on May 22, 2008
I'm giving the paddling and Safari stuff a rest for at least this one post. I've got lots of stuff to write about, some I've already written and stored, but I'm close to Safari overload at this moment. I haven't...

Safari Training Update: The Texas River Marathon aka "The Prelim"

Posted on May 09, 2008
This past weekend Robo and I participated in our first races together. On Saturday we did the 38.35 mile Texas River Marathon, so called "The Prelim" because your finish position in that race determines your starting position in the Safari....

Aquaterra Tri (Cont.)

Posted on April 10, 2008
Here is a video of the start. Here is another photo of the start showing the downed K1 with Arild in the water. You can see me passing on the top right. I didn't know this until recently, but he...

TWS Training Log: 30 Miles on the San Marcos and the Aquaterra Tri

Posted on April 09, 2008
This past weekend was a heavy training weekend. Robo and I set out on Saturday morning to Staples on the San Marcos river to do a 30 mile run to Zedler Mill in Luling. I got up a little before...

Screw Freebirds, or, Why It's Okay to Get Angry

Posted on April 04, 2008
When burritos first came out as another option for fast food, I was thrilled. The idea seemed perfect to me. A burrito with the right ingredients is way healthier than most of the other options. Plus, it tasted good. For...

Safari Training Calendar: San Marcos to Luling 90

Posted on March 31, 2008
Saturday was the first time we took the Raptor out on the Safari course. Our plan was to run the approximately 40 miles from San Marcos City Park to Luling Hwy 90 bridge. That stretch represents the first two legs...

A Couple of Other Shits

Posted on March 21, 2008
Every now and then I think I have an idea that is really, really good. I've had a few ideas for inventions lately that I think would be awesome. I can't write here what they are for risk of some...

Random Shit Killing Time Waiting for The Tournament to Start

Posted on March 20, 2008
So here's a few things to kill time with before the tournament starts: This is some seriously funny shit. A few things that are not cool: $3.30 a gallon gas, tramp stamps on dudes, being the golden boy governor of...

The Madness

Posted on March 18, 2008
March Madness is upon us. I have really come to enjoy the bracket contests over the last few years. I've got mine about 90% filled out. Here are my takes: General One thing I've heard repeatedly that I've taken to...

HLSR

Posted on March 14, 2008
Went to see John Fogerty at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo on Wednesday night. The way it's set up is the doors to the stadium open up at 6:45 and the rodeo goes on for a couple of hours....

34

Posted on March 11, 2008
I turned 34 years old on Sunday. It's weird to look at that number and think that's the number of years I've been around. 34 seems like a lot, when you're talking about years living. A lot has happened during...

Buffalo Bayou Regatta

Posted on March 10, 2008
This past Saturday I ran in my fourth canoe race, the Buffalo Bayou Regatta. For those who don't know, Buffalo Bayou runs through the heart of Houston and empties into the Gulf of Mexico. The city of Houston was founded...

Redeye Update

Posted on February 26, 2008
An important national holiday passed without a mention here. February 12th was SI Swimsuit Edition rollout. Let me just say, Johnny Damon's wife is pretty hot. And just when I thought Alessandra Ambrosio was going to be my new favorite...

Traffic Court

Posted on February 15, 2008
I got a ticket a couple of weeks ago for turning left where turning left wasn't allowed. As it was happening, my fiance' was in the passenger seat and tried to tell me, "Just go down a couple more streets...

TTC 69

Posted on February 05, 2008
I received an email forward a few days ago from some concerned citizens regarding the Trans-Texas Corridor, and specifically about the creation of one component of the project, I-69. I haven't done a whole lot of research on the project,...

Redeye Predictions

Posted on January 30, 2008
Since I did so well with my college football nat'l championship prediction I thought I'd test out my prognostication skills on some other things: Texas will land Darrell Scott. The basic pros/cons of the decision are out there - CU...

Cursed Winter Ambition

Posted on January 16, 2008
Winter should be all about hot soup or chili, fires in the fireplace, hot chocolate, sex and cuddling under thick blankets, reading books by the fire and sleeping in. I bet that's what it was like for the Indians. Instead,...

Nat'l Championship Prediction

Posted on January 07, 2008
LSU 38, OSU 17 You heard it hear first, folks. I think LSU is the far superior team. They've got more speed, more depth, more weapons, more animals on their team that OSU. This one isn't even going to be...

Yup

Posted on January 02, 2008
Bowl Season The things I'm most happy about this bowl season (besides Texas' win over ASU) are Hawaii losing badly to Georgia in the Sugar and Illinois losing badly to USC in the Rose. Hawaii was exposed as exactly what...

Ojo Rojo on...

Posted on December 21, 2007
Roger Clemens My problem with the whole Mitchell report is that they could have said anything, anything, and who can call it into question. The sum total of its legitimacy comes solely from former Senator Mitchell's reputation. And he has...

Redeye Update 12/18/07

Posted on December 18, 2007
There are some truths about the world that I'd really like to know. The current hottest one on my list is, "Whether generic products are the same or as good as their name-brand counterparts." I was dying for a new...

Redeye Update 12/10/07

Posted on December 10, 2007
Results for the San Marcos Solo Race are up here. Not shown is my previous best time of 3h6min that I achieved in a much slower boat. There were two factors: the river was flowing a lot higher and faster...