Miscellaneous

Single White DA Seeks Victim for Hot Nights in the Jacuzzi

Posted on September 21, 2010
I'd like to give a hearty congrats to Kenneth Kratz, a district attorney out in Wisconsin. You, sir, have the distinct honor of being so perplexingly scumbugarific that, at least for a moment, you've roused QuizLaw out its silent slumber...

Who dat gonna beat dem Comcast execs?

Posted on February 08, 2010
Congrats to the Saints, and a "suck it" to the Colts. In celebration, here's Senator Al Franken giving a bit of a beatdown on one of the devils who are the people who run our cable companies. (Hat tip: Gizmodo)...

Only a Special Moment of Governmental, Bureaucratic Idiocy Could Bring Me Out of the Deep, Dark Cave Where I've Been Plotting*

Posted on February 05, 2010
Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a fax in the machine. But the fax is upside down. If you don't flip it right side up, the words and pictures will be upside down. If you do flip it around, well, then you'll...

The whole freaking system is out of order!

Posted on November 03, 2009
Back in February, we told you about a major whoopsie that had been discovered in the Wilkes-Barry, PA juvy courts. Specifically, two judges were sending minors off to JV prison after taking millions of dollars in kickbacks from the detention...

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Fox News: An Ouroboros of Opinion and News

Posted on November 02, 2009
After making a little fun of the Obama Administration's "war on Fox News," Jon Stewart unloaded on Fox News over its righteous indignation over the whole thing and showed us how things work at Fox. Awesome. The Daily Show With...

Hello Old-School Southern Racism, Good to See You Again!

Posted on October 19, 2009
Wow, just wow. Keith Bardwell is a justice of the peace down in Louisiana who's been getting lots of press over the last few days because he's a bigot. Of course, he doesn't think he's a bigot -- he's just...

Reason Number 264 I Won't Be Moving to Alabama

Posted on September 15, 2009
Because the Alabama Supreme Court recently ruled against Love Stuff, a sex toy store, in holding the state's anti-obscenity law constitutional. Said the Court: Public morality can still serve as a legitimate rational basis for regulating commercial activity, which is...

Bono? Is it Bono? B.J.? Kong? Come on, what the hell's your name?!?

Posted on September 14, 2009
Earlier this month, a monkey was arrested in Perth, Australia, because he refused to identify himself to the police: The monkey had declined to give his name when questioned by police, so they took him away. At the police station,...

This mughshot appears next to the definition of "classy" in my dictionary

Posted on August 26, 2009
So I'm thinking that she got this because, this way, the sun actually does shine down on the place where the sun don't shine and, so she hopes, perhaps people won't shove things up in there. That's the theory, anyways....

Just Because I'm an Ignorant Black Man Doesn't Give You the Right To Be a Worthless Tool

Posted on August 25, 2009
Apparently, Alec Baldwin recently told Playboy that he's thinking about moving to Connecticut because he would like to run for Senate against Joe Lieberman. He's thinking about it, he says, because he's got "no use" for Lieberman. Amen, brother. Lieberman...

Scalia done been called out!

Posted on August 24, 2009
Last week, Alan Dershowitz called the Scalia to the mat. In a recent dissent in a death penalty case, Dershowitz says that Scalia says the Constitution doesn't forbid the execution of a death penalty convict who later is able to...

Things Not to Do

Posted on August 20, 2009
That's right boys and girls, we're back with another exciting installment of everyone's favorite list of common sense items, Things Not to Do! 1) Don't drive drunk. 2) Don't drive drunk at 1:13 in the morning. 3) Don't drive drunk...

Reason Number 325 Why I'll Never Move to Texas

Posted on August 19, 2009
Because this fall, a 2007 Texas law goes into effect, having all public schools, under mandate, teaching the Bible. Obviously, many folks are on board with this. Some aren't: Tyler resident Havis Tatum disagress with Tucker. He said, "I don't...

Half of Me Says They Should Be Heavily Punished, The Other Half Is Jealous That I Didn't Do This as a Dumb Kid

Posted on August 18, 2009
A pair of Missouri teen broke into a local go-cart joint and took their stolen goods to the local interstate. Witnesses reported seeing the go-carts driving down the highway. "Some people driving by thought it was odd there were go-carts...

Wanna get some pizza?

Posted on August 17, 2009
Yes, things have been quiet around the QuizLaw front. Can't be helped, children. Dustin's days are busy running the best little entertainment review site in this corner of the interwebs, and I've been busy being a law talking guy. Times...

And cops wonder why they're so often hated?

Posted on July 22, 2009
Check this shit out -- in an area south of Milwaukee, a cop was patrolling the parking lot outside a music arena. It was late at night, and he found a teenager sleeping in his car. The cop knocked on...

See, this is why nobody in Jersey has any manners!

Posted on July 21, 2009
Craig Fletcher tried to do the right thing. Late last month, he was robbing a house, and had stuffed three laptops and an Xbox into his backback. That's not the right thing. So the homeowner wound up interrupting him, and...

This guy needs to take a lesson from Meatloaf

Posted on July 20, 2009
All Frank Paul Reyos wanted to do was get married. So he took his girlfriend and off the pair hopped to the local courthouse for a quick and simple marriage. Turns out Reyos was a fugitive, wanted by the local...

How not to get busted for driving around with pot and coke in your car...

Posted on July 13, 2009
...don't drive around with your two-year-old grandson hanging out of your car window....

Congrats to the New Junior Senator from Minnesota

Posted on July 08, 2009
(Hat tip: TPMDC)...

On a more serious note...

Posted on July 06, 2009
This morning, I was being rather juvenile. Turning to the less-cock-more-important realm of things, the Lawinfo Blog has a nice little roundup of the more significant cases from the just-concluded 2008-09 Supreme Court term. From discriminating against white firefighters to...

Juvenile Mondays, Coming at Ya!

Posted on July 06, 2009
Over at The TTABlog we learn that the Federal Circuit has affirmed a decision to refuse trademark protection for a cigarettes which were found to falsely suggest a connection to the Shinnecock Indian Nation. Understandable decision, since the smokes used...

I have nothing to add...

Posted on June 30, 2009
(Hat tip: Legal Antics)...

Shot through the heart, and you've been sued...

Posted on June 30, 2009
Good on ya, District Judge Michael M. Baylson. He was writing up a 29-page opinion in a case called AFL Philadelphia v. Krause. AFL Philadelphia would be one of the owners of the Philadelphia Soul, an AFL football team. Jon...

What? You think I hung out in the sun too long? I thought I was just getting some nice color...

Posted on June 29, 2009
(This melanoma brought to you by The Smoking Gun.)...

Smooth Criminal

Posted on June 29, 2009
Oh Florida, I feel so guilty. You just give and give and give, and we just take and take and take. A fight broke out on a Florida bus when news of Michael Jackson's death sparked debate over whether he...

Uhm, honey, you got a little something there on your face ... yeah, there ... and there ... and a bit there, too

Posted on June 17, 2009
(From The Sun. She claims she only wanted three stars, not 56, but the story's a bit suspect, you ask me.)...

Uhm, dude, you got a little something there on your face ... yeah, there ... and there ... and a bit there, too

Posted on June 17, 2009
(Another friendly booked-criminal from The Smoking Gun, of course,)...

Is that a shiv in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Posted on June 10, 2009
Dawud Yaduallah, that happy-go-lucky dude right over there who used to go by the name David Hanley, is an ex-convict and a career criminal. But now he's also a plaintiff because, free from the confines of prison, he's he's filed...

This is like a literal "get out of jail free" card

Posted on June 09, 2009
This is unbelievable. Five years ago, Dwayne Keith Fitzen was serving a 24 year prison sentence in Minnesota, and prison officials decided to transfer him to California. So you know how they had the inmate known as "Shadow" transferred? They...

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