Miscellaneous

2008 Retrospective - 2009 What to Watch For Amalgamated

Posted on January 13, 2009
Is it too late for a New Year post? Well, fuckit. By all accounts, 2008 sucked. From a CNN perspective, I guess it did. Gas prices got anger-inducingly high, the economy tanked (so I read), we found out about the...

Texas Football 2008: Fiesta Bowl and Season Recap

Posted on January 06, 2009
First of all, I'd just like to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ because without him, none of this is possible. Second of all, did I nail this motherfucking season, or what? If you recall my preseason prediction post...

The BCS Stands for "Steaming Pile of Shit That Soulless Corporate Types Who Run College Football Make the Fans Eat" and Other Stories

Posted on December 09, 2008
Fuck the BCS. No seriously, find its orifice and insert the biggest and most painfully shaped phallus you can find (preferrably heated to 1000 degrees) and reapeatedly ram the shit out of it unitl it is literally fucked to death....

The BCS Rant

Posted on December 03, 2008
You know, if Blake Gideon's breadbasket didn't have a giant hole in the bottom of it or if Earl Thomas' body-eye coordination hadn't failed him for three tenths of a second at the end of the Tech game this post...

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How I Learned That Fish Are Everywhere

Posted on November 25, 2008
"Hello?""Is Troy there?""He's down seinin' at the end of the road.""Oh. Okay. Well, thanks."I hung up the phone. Mrs. McGaugh had recognized my voice and knew who I was. Probably nobody else would have been calling for Troy anyway. I...

The Decline of Western Civilization

Posted on November 21, 2008
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz named their kid Bronx Mowgli. (Maybe it's not that obscure, but points distributed to whoever can tell me the origin of the name Mowgli without using the internet.)

The Muschamp Thing

Posted on November 19, 2008
When I first heard the news that UT had named Will Muschamp as the successor head coach to Mack Brown I thought it was a horrible stunt. Almost immediately, though, I began to see the genius in the move. My...

Redeye Update 11/18/2008

Posted on November 18, 2008
I have a lot to write about, but I've got to make this quick. My job has gone from "SHITSTORM" to "VORTEX OF PANIC," so that's why the scant posting. I'm a little late with it, but I'm glad Obama...

Is Texas Really This Good?

Posted on October 21, 2008
The answer is YES. Coming into the season no one, and I mean no one, had Texas sniffing No. 1 or the National Championship. Everyone figured that the other Big XII schools were more talented and Texas' schedule was just...

Texas OU Weekend

Posted on October 07, 2008
It's only Tuesday and I really can't think about much else. Going to this game has become somewhat of a family tradition. I don't know how many years running or how many times I've been altogether, but this year has...

Hurricane Ike and Shit

Posted on September 22, 2008
As is my custom, I'm blogging about something long after being late doing so was fashionable. We spent the actual landfall of Ike in Austin. We actually drove to POC Wednesday night to save what we could at the Bayhouse....

Texas Water Safari 2008: Saltwater Barrier to Seadrift

Posted on September 04, 2008
I was in very good spirits when we pulled into the Saltwater Barrier. I still had an endorphin buzz so I wasn't hurting that much physically. Plus, I knew that the odds of something going wrong at this point were...

My Olympics

Posted on August 28, 2008
The Olympics have been over for several days and I've been too busy trying to finish my Safari story to write about them. But I watched them everyday, sometimes 3 times a day, for the full two weeks. I missed...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Invista to Saltwater Barrier

Posted on August 27, 2008
We pulled out of the Invista checkpoint after taking on fresh jugs of water and ice. The girls were still getting situated so we decided to go ahead and get our light ready for the coming night. Sitting up front,...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Victoria to Invista

Posted on August 22, 2008
A veteran racer had once told me that he got that "horse headin' toward the barn" feeling at the Victoria checkpoint. In urban terms, that meant that he could see the exit ramp to home after stalling through miles of...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Cuero to Victoria

Posted on August 11, 2008
I slept like the dead on that bare patch of grass under the FM 236 bridge just south of Cuero. I never even noticed the stench from the porta-potties. After what seemed like 5 minutes after I laid down, Audra...

2008 Texas Longhorns Football Preview

Posted on August 08, 2008
Some years I'm really into it; some years I'm not. This in one of those years that I'm into it. (That noise in the background is my fiance' sighing.) Overview Most predictions from the so-called "experts" out there seem to...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Cheapside to Cuero

Posted on July 28, 2008
We left Cheapside a few minutes after boat 259 and worked hard to catch up to them. I was nervous about Cuero dam because we hadn't ever seen it and I wanted to go through with an experienced team who...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Hocheim to Cheapside

Posted on July 23, 2008
The section from Hocheim to Cheapside is the second longest stretch of the course without any access points. Again, you have to be careful to take on enough water for the entire section because if you run out you are...

Dumbest Thing I've Ever Said

Posted on July 18, 2008
"The internet is a farce." I just made this post from my new Palm Treo. Amazing.

Texas Water Safari 2008: Gonzales to Hocheim

Posted on July 11, 2008
Audra came to wake us up exactly 90 minutes after we'd laid down, just as I'd asked. I was already awake and thinking. Since we hadn't planned on sleeping, I hadn't really calculated our exact down time into the splits...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Palmetto to Gonzales

Posted on July 09, 2008
We were in good spirits leaving Palmetto. The night was still young, our light was working well, we felt okay and we were able to appreciate the day's body of work. We had made nearly all of our goals, matched...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Luling to Palmetto

Posted on July 07, 2008
Immediately after leaving the Luling Dam area we came to a slight bend in the river where the current was running into and under a downed tree. There was a crook in the trunk of the tree over the rushing...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Staples to Luling

Posted on June 30, 2008
The stretch of the San Marcos river between Staples and Luling is dreaded by most Safari racers. Reason being, the river is narrow with lots of sharp twists and turns. Worst of all, it is choked with downed trees and...

Texas Water Safari 2008: The Start and Aquarena Springs to Staples

Posted on June 25, 2008
We sat parked in our starting position, dipping our paddles into the water every now and then to keep the boat pointed downstream. We made small talk with the teams nearest us. They announced one minute to go. We got...

Texas Water Safari 2008: Check-in and Pre-race

Posted on June 24, 2008
Every team in the Safari has to check their boat in with a race official on the Friday before the start. We pulled in to Aquarena Springs from Houston around 2:30 in the afternoon. Check-in runs from noon to 5...

The Texas Water Safari: Prelude

Posted on June 12, 2008
Today is the last day I'm going to have internet access until Monday, June 21st, so this is just a short prelude to what is probably going to be a string of long posts about my experience in the Safari....

Sand Dune Bocce

Posted on May 28, 2008
Believe it or not, this is the most fun activity on Earth. Okay, second most. Okay, third most if you don't mind the negative side effects of cocaine. Anyway, as far as I know, this game does not officially exist...

Gomals, Godals and Noffals -or- The Weirdest Post I've Ever Done

Posted on May 22, 2008
I'm giving the paddling and Safari stuff a rest for at least this one post. I've got lots of stuff to write about, some I've already written and stored, but I'm close to Safari overload at this moment. I haven't...

Safari Training Update: The Texas River Marathon aka "The Prelim"

Posted on May 09, 2008
This past weekend Robo and I participated in our first races together. On Saturday we did the 38.35 mile Texas River Marathon, so called "The Prelim" because your finish position in that race determines your starting position in the Safari....

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