Miscellaneous

The BCS Stands for "Steaming Pile of Shit That Soulless Corporate Types Who Run College Football Make the Fans Eat" and Other Stories

By Chris Stevenson

1. Fuck the BCS.  No seriously, find its orifice and insert the biggest and most painfully shaped phallus you can find (preferrably heated to 1000 degrees) and reapeatedly ram the shit out of it unitl it is literally fucked to death.  I vow that I will not watch a college football game in 2011, and I will start a boycott movement to encourage others to do the same, if there is not at least an 8 team playoff in place for that year's season.

2. The above isn't just about Texas getting jobbed.  The whole system is just ridiculous.  I could accept it if there was a logical or moral reason, but there's not.  It's all about money, plain and simple.  Any conference commissioner or university president who says otherwise is a money-grubbing soulless liar.  I just can't continue to follow a sport, as much as I love it, that determines it's champion in such an offensive way and lies to its devotees so shamelessly.

3. There are a million people out there who have all spent too much time thinking about it who have proffered their "playoff plan" complete with arguments why it is good.  I haven't devised the perfect college football playoff system because I'm not going to spend the time to do it.  The right plan is out there taking into consideration all factors and giving them each appropriate weight.  Motherfuckers in charge just pick one and put it in place.  Before 2011.

4. If the bowls have to die, so be it.  They are from a bygone era and a bowl for a bowl's sake doesn't have any meaning today.  College football has evolved to a point where it needs a playoff system and the bowls are (one of the things) standing in the way.  They should become a nostalgic bit of history in college football.  The Gipper and shit.

5. The irony here is that I think OU and Florida are the two best teams in the country right now as far as off-field observation can tell you.  (Note the HUGE qualifier.)  I like Texas against either of them, though, and I'd really, really, really like to see it on the field.

6. Colt for Heisman.  Even though it would be a nice consolation prize for the program, I worry that if he wins it that psychologically he won't have as much to play for next year when we have another chance at a national championship run.

7. While we're at it, we need to clean house in D-1.  There are too many teams.  Normally, I wouldn't care about that.  I like Cinderella stories and all, but fans of Utah, Boise St., BYU, TCU, Hawaii and all of the rest who whine and complain every year about the unfairness of being left out of the BCS bowls make me laugh.  One Boise St. vs. OU game aside, these chumps are not in the same league as the major programs.  They needlessly complicate the issue when their bloated record was built on victories over even bigger chumps.  Every team in the WAC, Sun Belt, MAC and many teams in the Mountain West and C-USA should be demoted to a lower division.  That would leave close to 70 teams in the top tier.

Full post as published by Cursed With Ambition on December 09, 2008 (boomark / email).