Miscellaneous

Gomals, Godals and Noffals -or- The Weirdest Post I've Ever Done

By Chris Stevenson

I'm giving the paddling and Safari stuff a rest for at least this one post.  I've got lots of stuff to write about, some I've already written and stored, but I'm close to Safari overload at this moment.  I haven't posted about the Barrier to the Bay race, which was the day after the Prelim.  Nor have I posted about the San Marcos River Clinic that Robo and I did last weekend.  Both are stories worth putting up here.  Later.

What I really wanted to post about is the best science fiction plot I've ever come up with.  This is my idea, and I've never seen anything like it anywhere else.  Not to say it's not out there; I just haven't seen it.  Frankly, I'd be surprised if someone else hasn't already thought about it because it's pretty simple.  I expect my brother Matt to point me to the book that's already been written using this idea.

The basic premise is that there is a race of sensient beings - they could be aliens or highly evolved humans - and, get this, there are THREE sexes instead of two.  You could call the sexes anything you want, but not male or female.  I came up with gomals, godals and noffals just for the title of this post just now.  We'll refer to them as "M's," "D's" and "F's" for short.  Here's how it would work:  M's breed with D's to make D's.  D's breed with F's to make to make M's.  M's breed with F's to make F's.  The breeding by D's and F's produces offspring of those sexes, but M's cannot produce their own.  Of course, you could change up the combinations for all sorts of interesting dynamics.  The one I gave here is the simplest.  Here it is again:

M+D=D

D+F=M

M+F=F 

Imagine the stereotypical behavior of each sex.  Since M's cannot produce themselves, they might be cold and sullen.  Maybe they feel like they are used as the breeding tool of the species.  Maybe they are rarer than the other two sexes and are highly sought after so they hide in the forests and have to be hunted.  Or maybe they are exalted and special bejeweled cities are created to house them.  For, without them the species can't survive.

What if D's and F's hated each other and sex between them was rare?  Wouldn't that be something?

I imagine that the "battle of the sexes" in my little universe is much, much more hostile than in our world.  Then let's throw in some homosexuality!!  Also, the sexual organs and sex acts in this universe would have to be different that what we know.  Let your imagination run wild with this one.  Think of the vulgar slang and jokes they could have!!

"Better to be dead like a bump on a log than red like a pesicle on a Noffal!!"  HAHAHAHAHA!!

Or, "What do you call the secretions from a Gomal's urega?  Bearing grease."  HAHAHAHAHA!!

How about, "What's the difference between a Godal's verja-nu and a flaming odorizer?  You can get close enough to the flaming odorizer to stick it up your ass!"  HAHAHAHAHA!!

The possibilities are endless.

Full post as published by Cursed With Ambition on May 22, 2008 (boomark / email).