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: Law with GraceThe Dog and Me- A Dialogue Part III
By Grace
Me: You KNOW how hard I am trying to keep a positive attitude about the holiday season. You know I'm tired of being called a grinch. Why in the world would you break my brand new Santa candy dish and eat all the M&M's? Why? Why? Why?
Dog: Because people who talk to dogs deserve to have their Santa candy dishes broken, you dumb whore.
Me: Chocolate is poison for dogs. Poison, I say!
Dog: So I could die? So maybe this will be the last day I ever have to spend with your sorry ass? There's no way I would have such stellar luck. Unfortunately, I'll be just fine, Loser.
Me: What's with the attitude? You used to be such a good sweet dog. Lots of cute looks and kisses...
Dog: How many times do I have to tell you? Those aren't kisses. I'm trying to wipe the taste of my own genitals off my tongue. You think that's a kiss? Who have you been hanging out with, Skank?
Me: Ok. You make a good point. But seriously. Why did you eat all the chocolate? You know it just means I'll be up all night cleaning up diarrhea.
Dog: Again, you're talking to me like this is something I give a fuck about. I'm not gonna clean it up. Your ugly ass is.
Me: I'm not ugly.
Dog: Yes you are.
Me: No I'm not.
Dog: Yes you are.
Me: Fine. I am. If calling me ugly makes you feel better, then fine. I'm ugly.
Dog: Fine. Glad we finally agree on something. Now put the leash on me, bitch. I'm about to have the runs.
Me: Ok. thanks for the notice.
Dog: Shut up.
Full post as published by Law with Grace on December 01, 2007 (boomark / email).
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