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Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

#Madoff Revealed by NY Magazine

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Thanks to NY Mag's Steve Fishman for getting my story out and humanizing me and getting the record straight.
[Note to Little Erin--I'd have given you the exclusive on the phone interview, but those idiots at Barrons don't get it, and on top of that, your agent sucks! Your book was a road map, but your agent and your publisher couldn't promote their way out of a paper bag for you! Oy!]

Sure..some of you can go ahead and smirk all you want when you read and listen to Fishman's audio tapes, but if you have half a brain, you'll figure out that I'm not such a bad guy.

And, for the handful of you that still don't accept that I'm a damn Midas, just go back through my diary here and you'll see that I'm not only a trading genius (I've called at least 6 major interim market bottoms and tops in the past two years, including the major stock indexes, the price of gold and the price of oil!), but when it comes to world politics, maybe I should have been Secretary of State!

What? You haven't paid attention to what I've been telling President Obama about how to handle the Middle East?--That's right, I'm the one that's been saying all along that we should never have sent any of our troops in to those crazy places, and we never should!

Well guess what? Even though the m-tards at the NY Times and Wall Street Journal missed the entire story last Friday, it'll be picked up soon enough: the damn Secretary of Defense Bob Gates made a speech to West Point last Friday and said exactly what I've been saying!!!  

"In my opinion, any future defense secretary who advises the president to again send a big American land army into Asia or into the Middle East or Africa should 'have his head examined,' as General MacArthur so delicately put it."

For my fans and followers that want to know what I think about the markets now, here's something to think about:

1. Sure, I read about Buffet's latest views on the market. Here's what I think: he's talking up his "book" and telling everyone to buy stocks. At the same time, short sales are at their lowest since the market peaked back in late '07, oil is at its highest since '08 and if JPMC's wanting to buy a slug of Twitter on heels of The Squid taking a fat stake in Facebook isn't a sign of a bubble about to burst, nothing is!

While we're on the subject of The Squid and JPMC..you don't really think they're making those out-sized "investments" without having already lined up investors to pay more after they've closed the trade, do you?? If you do, you're in the same bucket with those moron money managers that would rather go to those "big bank trading desks" for  "capital commitment trades", instead of using an agency-execution firm that can get you better prices. Oh that's right, I forgot. You hedge fund big shots don't care about saving a few pennies on a trade; after all its your clients that are actually getting hosed, not you.

2. We've still got 10%+ real unemployment with no sign of improvement, housing prices are sliding again, and half the states and cities in this country are on the verge of bankruptcy. What? If we keep printing greenbacks, that's going to solve these problems? Don't be ridiculous!

3. That's right, markets trade in cycles; trends always repeat themselves.Sell high and buy low. Its always been that simple!

4. I've also been saying the US Govt operates its treasury like one big Ponzi scheme. The SEC? Please, don't make me pee my pants with laughter.

Last-To My Darling Ruth:
The reason I hired a new mouthpiece was really for you. She's a smart gal, trust me. Just watch her on MSNBC or when she appears on the Today Show! Use her to do the divorce work; that guy Felder isn't for you!  In fact, Andy and Debbie should go speak to her too. This gal knows how to mediate relationships better than anyone. Trust me!

Bernie

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on February 28, 2011 (boomark / email).

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