Miscellaneous

Tip o' the hat to the Colbert Bump

Posted on August 15, 2008
Earlier this week, Dustin posted a clip from "The Colbert Report" where Colbert talked about wanting to give Obama the Colbert bump by speaking at the DNC Convention. Man alive would I love to see that happen. Well now there...

E-X-T-O-R-T-I-O-N ... EAGLES!

Posted on August 15, 2008
Herbert Simpson made Eagles fans proud by trying to extort (mother fucking Super Bowl Champion) New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin. The Smoking Gun has an affidavit from the G-Man who investigated the incident. Seems that Simpson sent two phony...

Which is Worse? Penis to the Face? Or Face to Shart Contact?

Posted on August 14, 2008
Can we all just concede that, when you're in high school, you're a dumbass? And maybe leave it at that? I mean, look at this: A 17-year-old kid was arrested yesterday for an incident last December, in which the victim...

Goooooaaaaaallllll!

Posted on August 14, 2008
http://view.break.com/553986 - Watch more free videos Sorry. Off-topic. Couldn't resist....

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Opening Lines, Part Deux

Posted on August 14, 2008
Earlier today, Seth gave us what may be the greatest opening sentence to a news article, ever, which nicely dovetails with a couple of other great opening lines I discovered today. First up, Garrison Spik penned this beautiful sentence, which...

The Daily Memo - 8/14/08

Posted on August 14, 2008
The Second Circuit to John Steinbeck descendants: "The turtle ever-so-slowly crossed the road, dust blowing across its shell. Oh, and fuck off." (Law.com) If you live in the L.A. area and don't hate the gays, there's a fundraiser being held...

Blow me

Posted on August 14, 2008
Make of this what you will: A customer asked a barista at an espresso stand to blow into her breathalyzer on Wednesday, and became upset when she was told no. A Kitsap County sheriff's deputy was called to the Natte...

The best opening sentences to a news article ever

Posted on August 14, 2008
Seriously. It's getting tougher for the dishonest, the mentally unstable and the overweight to get hired as Cook County jail guards these days. As a result, fewer guards are getting hired. So yeah, in the Chicago area, it seems that...

Don't mess with Texas schools

Posted on August 14, 2008
A recent school board meeting in Gonzales, Texas got so heated that the cops had be called in. What's the hubbub about? Seems that the local school district issued a new dress code recently, banning cargo pants and requiring collared...

Free Show! Free Show!

Posted on August 13, 2008
I'm actually surprised we don't see this more often -- I mean, strip clubs, after all, are basically designed to get you to the brink. It was only inevitable that someone was going to climb over the precipice in the...

Today I Loathe Humanity

Posted on August 13, 2008
Sometimes the crazy is funny. And sometimes the crazy makes you want to pull out someone's eyeballs and shove them up their ass so they can see your foot going in. A toddler whose remains were found inside a suitcase...

If You're Going to Commit Animal Cruelty, You May As Well Do It in Style

Posted on August 13, 2008
Howsa 'bout a round of applause for Pauline Harpin and her son, Paul, who are responsible for the worst case of animal cruelty in the history of Vermont. Where's Guinness? Five cats, two ferrets, a lizard, a gecko, a rabbit,...

The Daily Memo - 8/13/08

Posted on August 13, 2008
The most worthless law school class? Almost all of them. The most tedious class? Motherfucking antitrust, sir. (Above the Law) The author of Left Behind is here to let us know that Obama can't be the antichrist because he's an...

Of the two things that are inevitable, doesn't death seem like the rosier one sometimes?

Posted on August 13, 2008
The other inevitability is, of course, taxes. And according to this account, iTunes taxes for everyone are just around the corner. Seventeen states already tax digital downloads, and many others are considering similar legislation, with MA, WY and WA all...

A Surefire Way to Get Actual Viewers to Tune in to the DNC Convention

Posted on August 13, 2008
Get Stephen Colbert to speak. Give Obama the Colbert bump. After all, he has plenty of experience with political speeches....

My god, I was this close to getting thrown out of school!

Posted on August 13, 2008
Over the weekend, I stumbled upon an article talking about my undergrad alma mater, Temple ("I could've gone anywhere, but I chose Temple" actually means "I could've gone anywhere, but I could afford Temple"). Seems that the Owls have been...

Obama Sure is Dreamy

Posted on August 12, 2008
All right, so here's yet another commercial where John McCain tries to paint Obama as a celebrity, though he was smart enough this time to exclude Paris Hilton. Instead, he seems to be comparing Obama to Justin Timberlake, while...

Man Rides a Horse. Then He Rides a Horse.

Posted on August 12, 2008
Those frisky fucking Brits. Last month, a British man was caught with his britches down after making sweet sweet love to a baaaaaaaad sheep. This month: A 60 year old Brit sowed his oats with a horsie. Neeeeeyyyy. A shocked...

Hey! Whats Worse than Rain on Your Wedding Day-ay?

Posted on August 12, 2008
Ooooh. Oooooh. I know! I know! Pick me! Pick me! How about getting arrested for criminal contempt and being jailed without bail? For violating a restraining order. Put out by your bride! A New York state man has been arrested...

The Daily Memo - 8/12/08

Posted on August 12, 2008
Mmmmm ... beef. (Above the Law) Judge to juror -- "STFU with your nullificaiton nonsense." (WSJ Law Blog) Does a McCain speech writer love him/herself some Wikipedia? (CQ Politics) Could this gal be a future Supreme? (WSJ Law Blog)...

Well I'm already going to jail, so I might as well tell the Jersey cops how I really feel

Posted on August 12, 2008
(From The Smoking Gun, of course.)...

I'm surprised this is the first such story I've ever read

Posted on August 12, 2008
Down in Florida, Craig Matthew Feigin has gotten into some trouble over his computer repair job. Seems that he was rigging fixed laptops so that their webcams would snap illicit pics and send them to a remote server. In one...

Oh yeah? Well let's take it to the YouTube, bitches!

Posted on August 12, 2008
A staffer for Obama is using the interwebs to debunk one of McCain's ads calling Obama out for being nothing more than a celebrity.... Of course, the trouble is that the folks who are probably most susceptible to and influenced...

McCain in Eight Years

Posted on August 11, 2008
Worried about voting for McCain? Do you fear that, because of his ripe age, he may drop dead before finishing out two terms as President? Well, fear no more. According to this time-lapse photography, McCain will survive all eight...

Sour Grapes Takes New, Speculative Turn

Posted on August 11, 2008
You gotta love that, despite finally conceding the nomination to Barack Obama and, allegedly, supporting him in his bid to become the Prez, Hillary Clinton -- or at least her former Communications Director -- is now suggesting that, had the...

Meh

Posted on August 11, 2008
The official Obama response/attack ad to McCain's "Obama is a celebrity" ad is kind of disappointing, mostly because 1) attack ads don't suit Obama, and 2) by making the claim that McCain is the real celebrity, even jokingly, Obama...

The Daily Memo - 8/11/08

Posted on August 11, 2008
Breath easy, DC -- the kickball lawsuit has been dismissed! (Deadspin) In shocking news, attorneys who get bonuses bordering around $200,000 are satisfied with their compensation. (Above the Law) The California Supremes have given the judicial middle finger to non-compete...

Maybe he shouldn't stay up so late watching his stories

Posted on August 11, 2008
Aw, poor whittle Johnny McCain needs some more sweep.... In the meantime, McCain said he would concentrate on getting more sleep when he can. "If I put in three or four 18-hour, 20-hour days in a row, I'm not sharp....

So wait, a poorly-executed raid that kills a mayor's dogs is a bad thing?

Posted on August 11, 2008

Leave my football alone!

Posted on August 11, 2008
A member of the New Jersey State Supreme Court may soon find himself sued by Conor Larkin, a former stud football player for a local Jersey high school. Seems that Larkin gave the judge's son a rough time at football...

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