Miscellaneous

Retardation is only a theory!

Posted on January 22, 2009
In Mississippi, Rep. Gary Chism is introducing a bill in attempt to include a nice little disclaimer in their high school textbooks. It has something to do with his belief that evolution is horseshit. See for yourself: "This textbook discusses...

I Kind of Feel Like the Polygamists Have a Point

Posted on January 22, 2009
Up in Canada, where far fewer Americans are making plans to relocate thanks to Obama, an interesting legal question has arisen. See, up in Canada, those liberal minded heathens have legalized gay marriage and, thus, modified the definition of marriage...

O ... oh! ... OH! ... OBA--yaaaaaawn

Posted on January 21, 2009
Sounds like it's going to be some gruelling and tired times for the Obama staff: With the metabolism of a White House set by its occupant, Obama's team is preparing for a return to long nights, heavy weekend shifts -...

O ... oh! ... OH! ... OBAMA!!!!

Posted on January 21, 2009
What better way to celebrate the new President than by celebrating with the new President. Well not "with" him like, "you and Barack chilling out over a pizza pie and pitcher of beer." More "with" him like, "sticking a freaky-Obama...

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The (Kinda-Sorta) Daily Memo - 1/21/09

Posted on January 21, 2009
A former Big Law associate is suing his old firm for wrongful termination, defamation, and a slew of other shit, throwing several partners and associates under the bus in the process -- this will definitely end well. (Above the Law)...

Dude: It's Not The Words, It's the Way You Say Them

Posted on January 21, 2009
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A Black Man in the White House. Hell Yeah!

Posted on January 20, 2009
What the hell are we supposed to write today? Dumb criminal and stupid lawyer stories seem fairly inappropriate, and there's no sense in trying to go about business as usual. This is history, motherfuckers. Hmmm. Did y'all see Jill Biden...

One more day ... one day more

Posted on January 19, 2009
(From Friday's Non Sequitur)...

Do it for Dawkins

Posted on January 16, 2009
Seth is still to goddamn busy to post (settlement conference today, I believe), so I'm gonna do the nice thing and post this good-luck, inspirational video in his stead, ahead of this weekend's Eagles vs. Cardinals (really?) game. He'd...

RIP John Mortimer: 1923 - 2009

Posted on January 16, 2009
John Mortimer has just died. He was 85. And despite my legal training, I had no idea who he was until PaddyDog suggested we run an obit on him. Per PaddyDog: A barrister who abandoned the safe side of the...

The New York Giants can't even be the best when it comes to shooting yourself

Posted on January 15, 2009
Last Sunday the New York Football Giant were embarrassed at home by a hungry and expectations-free squad of Philly Eagles. Good times. Part of the reason the Gints couldn't get it done was because they were without their star receiver...

Bah. I Didn't Really Care for the Fourth Amendment Anyway

Posted on January 15, 2009
In case you missed it, yesterday The Sups basically trounced all over our Fourth Amendment rights, further de-fanging the exclusionary rule in search and seizure cases. The conservative majority essentially stated that if the police accidentally violate your Constitutional rights...

Daddy's little cash cow

Posted on January 15, 2009
From MSNBC: "A California man has been arrested for arranging for his 14-year-old daughter to marry a neighbor in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat, police said. Authorities in Greenfield, a farming community on...

The kids are alright

Posted on January 15, 2009
Back in December, Quizlaw reported on a family that was refused a birthday cake with their son's name on it , the son in question was named Adolf Hitler. Apparently Adolf and his sisters have now been removed from their...

Fish Fight

Posted on January 15, 2009
When I read the headline "naked man with raw trout beats shoe salesman" I was a little worried someone had stolen my ultimate fantasy. Not so much the naked and shoe salesman part, but it has been a lifelong dream...

Mickey Rourke: Really Not that Cool

Posted on January 14, 2009
Look: I love a good comeback story as much as the next guy, and if you've seen The Wrestler, you know that Mickey Rourke deserves a lot of accolades for his work. But what seems to be forgotten in the...

Wow. Our Speaker of the House is Hilarious

Posted on January 14, 2009
Ladies and Gentlemen, Nancy Pelosi put this video together, apparently with all the spare time she had between not saving the economy and Botoxing her face into oblivion. And it's Hi-Larious -- it features Pelosi's cats, but it's really...

Stepping away from the insanity for a moment...

Posted on January 14, 2009
So yeah, not so much posting from me of late, as we're basically in full-on trial mode. Aside from carving out a few hours each week to enjoy the expectations-free playoff run of a certain Philadelphia football team, I've been...

Floridian's Stupidity is Another Man's Gain

Posted on January 13, 2009
They just make it so easy on the cops, don't they? A man who Pasco sheriff's deputies say attempted to steal about $2,000 worth of fishing poles from a parked boat didn't help his situation by telling deputies during questioning...

Gideon v. Wainwright Just Jumped the Shark in Washington

Posted on January 13, 2009
If you're caught skipping class in Washington, you might want to get used to this refrain: "You have a right to an attorney, anything you do or say can be held ... " A panel of judges has apparently made...

I Mean, Hooters is Sexist. Why Shouldn't Men Sue?

Posted on January 13, 2009
TMZ.com is making a big hullaballoo over the fact that a few guys are filing suit against Hooters because of gender discrimation -- they weren't hired because they are men. TMZ puts it this way: These dumbasses -- led by...

And You Thought You Were Wasting Your Life Away ...

Posted on January 12, 2009
If, after 26 years, you still haven't mastered your hobby, here's an idea: Get a different one. It has taken most of his life - but, after 26 years, builder Graham Parker has finally solved the puzzle of the Rubik's...

It's Not Like He's Gonna Eat the Kid

Posted on January 12, 2009
In Arkansas, you can't adopt a child if you're gay. In England, apparently you can't adopt a child if you're fat. A man has been told he cannot adopt a child because he is overweight. Damien Hall was told by...

Jackass Punditry of the Day

Posted on January 12, 2009
From Joe the Plumber (Samuel Wurzelbacher), who is reporting on the war in Israel for the conservatire outfit, JJTV.com: I'll be honest with you. I don't think journalists should be anywhere allowed war. I mean, you guys report where our...

You Can't Throw a Pie in a Guy's Face When It's Already Covered in Custard

Posted on January 09, 2009
By virtue of making fun of himself first, I do believe that Anderson Cooper has just bought three months immunity from "The Daily Show." He is a handsome fella, too. And lookie: Puppys!...

What's so bizarre about this?

Posted on January 09, 2009
From Darwin, Australia: Brenton Alan Erhardt, 39, pleaded guilty in the Darwin Magistrates Court to dangerous driving. He was pulled over by police on the Stuart Highway in July speeding at 147 kilometres per hour, south of Daly Waters. He...

If You're Gonna Steal a Car for a High Speed Chase, Make Sure It's not Explosive

Posted on January 09, 2009
Here's some real Grand Theft Auto stuff: One robbery suspect is dead and another in police custody after a bizarre pursuit Thursday night that ended in a fiery wreck that has shut down a portion of the Brookshire Freeway. Police...

"I'll give you a penny for your thoughts." "Well I've got about 300,000 thoughts." "Not a problem."

Posted on January 08, 2009
The weird thing about this story from Indiana is that Craig Stueber had been collecting pennies for 30 years, accumulating about 300,000 of the little Lincolns. The weirder thing is that some dude stole them pennies. Stueber reported that he...

What a Paternity Clusterf**k

Posted on January 08, 2009
One of our illustrious readers, Darcy, pointed me toward yet another WTF decision by a Canadian court (you think our court system is messed up? They just make shit up in Canada). It involves a father who learned that he...

Modern-day Calvin sorely misses his Hobbes

Posted on January 08, 2009
When I think "four-year-old boy," I almost always picture Calvin. Cute little, pugnacious kid with messy blond hair, dragging around his stuffed tiger and tossing aside philosophical quips when he's not too busy turning cardboard boxes into high-technology...

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