Law Students

Cuz I'm Belize'n On a Jet Plane

Posted on October 29, 2009
yep. that's the title of this post and I'm not apologizing for it. In about an hour, a car is coming to get me to take me to the airport. Then a plane is taking me to Florida. Then another plane is taking me to Belize. Then another teeny tiny little puddle jumper is taking me to this little island in Belize...

My Stolen Lines #7

Posted on October 27, 2009
I think it is worst if you don't know whether it is a good thing or a bad thing which is going to happen. I wake up. It's any Wednesday. No reason for this Wednesday. I wake up and I hit snooze. I hit snooze twice, actually. Pretty standard. For a Wednesday...

Stolen Lines #7

Posted on October 15, 2009
I think it is worst if you don't know whether it is a good thing or a bad thing which is going to happen.For all of you inspirationally challenged writers, here's a new stolen line. This line comes courtesy of the very aweseome and newly employed Butterflyfish...

Smokes

Posted on October 14, 2009
So approximately 3 years and 2 1/2 months ago, I did something awesome. That is, besides start this blog.I quit smoking. Now, I wasn't some half-ass, smoke-when-I-drink, or when-I'm-really-stressed-out smoker. I smoked like it was my job. About a pack and a half...

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Dear Whoopi Goldberg,

Posted on October 05, 2009
I understand you've come out full force to defend your fellow famous person ("FFP"), Roman Polanski. Good for you!!! :-) And by "Good for you," I mean, "Shame on you that is so fucked up and don't try to explain it away, because quite frankly you can't explain it away, and any attempt to explain it away is just another horrific and obnoxious slap in the face to sexual assault victims everywhere...

Dear Illinois Bar Takers,

Posted on October 01, 2009
Actually, ALL bar takers:Daisy just reminded me. This is either a really fantastic day for you, or a really fucking shitty day for you. Or, like me, you lost your anonymous exam number and had to sit around freaking out for five more days. Leave a comment...

For lack of any opinions, Here's an update

Posted on September 30, 2009
It's Wednesday.Watching America's Next Top Model- Short People Edition.Tyra Banks is fucking loud.I won my jury trial on Friday. So far, I am 3 for 3.It's almost October. A little over three hours left of September.I fucking hate Fall.Moreover, I don't understand people who say that Fall is their favorite season...

Finally- A Purpose

Posted on September 23, 2009
So, yesterday I was on the train. Just quietly playing Brickbreaker on my stupid fucking phone, thinking about how my life has turned into quite the routine. And how I don't really do anything besides work and the occasional social function. I certainly am not particularly caught up in any political or charitable activities...

Not to be a grammar nazi, but...

Posted on September 19, 2009
does anyone else find this poster fucking annoying? no? Well, I do.

Hi Bloggie!!!

Posted on September 07, 2009
Sorry for the delay in posting. I actually took a little vacation. Went to New York City for the U.S. Open. Learned that I don't hate tennis. Ate a ton of really good food at some totally fucking kick ass restaurants. Drank fantastic wine. Stayed at a ridiculously awesome hotel that I was completely not cool enough to stay at...

My Stolen Lines #6

Posted on August 23, 2009
Me: You really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?Her: Not really, Grace. Me: Well, it's just that I am unable to let go of things. Her: That's tons of people, Gracie. I'm still angry at this fucking bitch I went to high school with who told everyone that I gave a blow job to...

RIP Softball

Posted on August 19, 2009
It looks like my glory was fleeting. I say this now, because I spent the day in the Emergency room, and now can only walk with the assistance of crutches. And crutches are mother fucking hard to walk with! It's bullshit. They make my arms hurt! So the bad news is I can't walk...

Boston Globe Can Suck It But Thanks Boston Globe!

Posted on August 15, 2009
So recently I was asked by two different websites to write for them. It's sort of flattering. I have decided to definitely do one, because I'll only have to write once every other week. The other asked me to provide a sort of sampler platter of what I consider to be the best/least stupid things I've written on this blog...

Stolen Lines #6

Posted on August 13, 2009
"You really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"This line comes courtesy of Colby, from Colby in the City, a fantastic blog. She pulled the line from Salaam Paris by Kavita Daswani.The rules: Start your post with the above line. End your post with "I stole the first line of this post from Salaam Paris by Kavita Daswani" And maybe link back to me so people can understand the point of the post...

RIP Ingrid

Posted on August 12, 2009
Oh, Ingrid. You were more than just another hot set of fins to me. We were friends. You were a delightful composite of opposites: At once, both irreverant and devil-may-care, yet always on my case about renter's insurance. Like all of those that came before you, you shall be missed.

Stolen Lines #6

Posted on August 04, 2009
Ok, even I pussed out on the last one. It's been a while. Let's go again. New Stolen Line will be posted on Monday, August 10. I am recommitting. Y'all should too. Now I have to get back to prepping the closing argument for my jury tomorrow. Wish me luck...

Sleazy Defense Attorney

Posted on August 01, 2009
Not too long ago, I'm in my courtroom. I'm having a terrible day. The courtroom is packed, my trial partner and I are...not getting along to put it extremely mildly. The judge is annoyed with everyone. I had already cried twice and almost cried about three more times...

Dear Readers,

Posted on July 30, 2009
There have been a few bloggers lately who have either changed names or taken down their blogs altogether. Some have been open about their new blogs and the reason for the new change. Daisy, for instance wants her blog to be more...family friendly. Some, citing privacy concerns have taken them down altogether, while other anonymous bloggers have reached a point where they don't feel they can say what they want, for fear they will hurt someone's feelings or they could get fired...

Softball

Posted on July 29, 2009
Rather than talk about what I have been trying to talk about for several weeks on this blog, let's talk about my new venture. I. Play. On. The. Office. Softball. Team. Today, I did well. I hit what is called a "Lined Rive" and some guy, as a result of my "Lined Rive" scored a goal...

To All Lawyers Everywhere:

Posted on July 27, 2009
Let's all take a moment and be grateful. Let's raise our collective glasses, and cheers each other. Why?We're not taking the mother fucking bar exam tomorrow. And to all the bartakers? From the bottom of my heart, I wish you all the best of luck. Especially Butterflyfish...

Dear Criminal Defendants,

Posted on July 24, 2009
I know you guys aren't necessarily the smartest bunch, so here's a tip from me to you. When you are in a criminal courthouse, generally, there are a few different kinds of people. There are people wearing black robes. Those are the judges. There are people wearing little blue jackets...

Dear My Female Friends in Chicago,

Posted on July 06, 2009
Ladies. Stop getting in cabs by yourself. Especially if you've been drinking. Ladies.The next time you are ever inclined to say "Oh my god, Kristi is SOOO wasted!! Let's just put her in a cab and send her drunk ass home." Think twice. You are putting a woman, ostensibly, YOUR FRIEND in a situation where no one can protect her...

Happy Pride, Chicago!

Posted on June 28, 2009

Unimportant Things That Make Me Happy- A Meme

Posted on June 20, 2009
I saw this meme over at Hot Sauce Redemption, a truly fantastic blog. I love the writing. And I love the name. And I love that she called me a quesadilla. Normally, I don't do memes. Especially happy ones, because I am such a naturally miserable, negative and toxic person, but since today is the most perfect day ever, and it's summer and it's Saturday and it's not raining, and I am going to see fantastic live theatre tonight, and there's a good chance there will be lobster bisque before the live theatre and I just got a manicure and pedicure, I'm just going to go ahead and think happy thoughts...

"This Won't End Well..."

Posted on June 20, 2009
You look into his/her eyes and you tell him/her that. It's the same warning you've given a hundred times. A thousand times. You've been right every. single. fucking. time. Being right is starting not to matter one. fucking. bit. This is how it goes:You smile at each other, eyelids getting heavy...

To All Bartakers Everywhere Who Are Reading This Blog:

Posted on June 16, 2009
Calm the FUCK DOWN. Did you hear me? I'll say it again. Calm the FUCK DOWN. And maybe one final time... CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Ok? Here's how I know a decent number of you are freaking out. In case you don't know, Sitemeter is this little tool that tells me who comes to my blog, and how they find my blog...

My Stolen Lines #5

Posted on June 15, 2009
Tell me, have you ever thought of changing your life? In the interest of being the biggger person, I am removing my stolen lines. However, it should be noted that a removal is not necessarily a retraction. I can come up with something better anyway.

My Stolen Lines #5

Posted on June 14, 2009
Tell me... have you ever thought...of changing your life?*Of course I have. Just not in the way YOU wish I would. Just not in the way that would make YOUR life more manageable. Not in the way that would make YOU sleep better at night.**You would always lightly chastise me not to be so hard on myself...

Pause

Posted on June 09, 2009
Rather than feel badly about not posting, I'm just announcing I'll be back in a few days. In the meantime, write your Stolen Lines. Or watch this. I am... life-raft searching...

Stolen Lines #5

Posted on June 02, 2009
Tell me... have you ever thought...of changing your life?Hopefully this line is more inspiring. The rules: Start your post with the above line. End your post with "I stole the first line of this post from the play, Betrayal by Harold Pinter" And maybe link back to me so people can understand the point of the post...

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