Criminal Law

THIS IS THE WAY TO RESIGN

Posted on March 20, 2011
Ay, no; no, ay; for I must nothing be;Therefore no no, for I resign to thee.Now mark me, how I will undo myself;I give this heavy weight from off my headAnd this unwieldy sceptre from my hand,The pride of kingly sway from out my heart;With mine own tears I wash away my balm,With mine own hands I give away my crown,With mine own tongue deny my sacred state,With mine own breath release all duty's rites:All pomp and majesty I do forswear;My manors, rents, revenues I forego;My acts, decrees, and statutes I deny:God pardon all oaths that are broke to me!God keep all vows unbroke that swear to thee!Make me, that nothing have, with nothing grieved,And thou with all pleased, that hast all achieved!Long mayst thou live in Richard's seat to sit,And soon lie Richard in an earthly pit!God save King Harry, unking'd Richard says,And send him many years of sunshine days!What more remains?Richard II, Act IV, scene 1...

FRIDAY NCAA MADNESS

Posted on March 18, 2011
For the record, we have never, ever called anyone "Dude" and have never, ever, filled out an NCAA bracket. Neither of those two states are likely to change although we venture to guess we know more about College Basketball then any other lawyer with +100 jury trials under their belt...

TOP O THE STRUTHIOUS

Posted on March 17, 2011
It's an all Struthian St. Patricks Day here on the Blog!For the traditional Irish Blessing, make a trip over to Rumpole's favourite Princess who has all the words (and all the moves) to make this a great day.MICHELLE SPENCE JONES AFTERMATH:The SAO still has a second case pending against the embattled but victorious Miami City Commissioner...

MOTION GRANTED, BUT NOT IN BRIEF

Posted on March 15, 2011
ATT00081 We will be brief: My oh my, where to begin? Everyone's favourite Sesquipedalian Judge has issued an order granting a motion to suppress. It is mind boggling...

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ELDERLY JUDGES

Posted on March 14, 2011
BREAKING: DOWN GOES YOSS, DOWN GOES YOSS. SOFLA has all the details on the civil blog. Sort of out of it today (Monday). Sorry for the late post and no, we have not jumped the shark. Jeeze. One late post and the world starts crumbling. Literally. Please donate to the Red Cross to help Japan here...

THE TROUBLE WITH ZAPATOS

Posted on March 11, 2011
Toe the line.....Or....(thanks to the late, great Johnny Cochran) "IF YOUR SHOES CAN'T CLEAR THE SCANNERYOU CAN'T SEE YOUR CLIENT IN THE SLAMMER."With Code Browns, earthquakes and tsunami warnings breaking out everywhere, now comes word about the trouble with Shoes at Metro West and with the Dade Department of Corrections (Motto: "You can see your client at any time for as long as you want on any day of the week that does not end with a "Y"...

CODE BROWN!!

Posted on March 10, 2011
1:15 PM UPDATE: THE ALL CLEAR SIREN SOUNDED AND THE REGJB IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS.No gun was found however the following contraband was recovered:14 unauthorized nail clippers;1- "Al Sepe For Judge" bumper sticker, circa 1978;1 book- The Collected Wit and Wisdom of Judge Henry Fero-paperback Penguin edition;19 frozen Venison sausages;6 Bottles of various liquor including JWBlack;1 Administrative Order from Chief Judge Gerald Weatherington advising Judges against confiscating beepers;3 Robes coloured Green, Blue and Orange with the label "Property of Judge Alfred Nesbitt"And so on...

THE CLERK SAYS "NO!"

Posted on March 09, 2011
NO SOUP (and pleadings) FOR YOU!Reports are trickling in that the Dade County Clerk's Office ("Motto: "We'll be with you in a minute.") is no longer accepting pleadings on behalf of the State Attorneys Office. Apparently that box that they put the pleadings in has cracked and there is no money in the budget to replace it...

WILL

Posted on March 07, 2011
WILLby Elia Wheeler Wilcox, 1917.There is no chance, no destiny, no fate,Can circumvent or hinder or controlThe firm resolve of a determined soul.Gifts count for nothing; will alone is great;All things give way before it, soon or late.What obstacle can stay the mighty forceOf the sea-seeking river in its course,Or cause the ascending orb of day to wait?Each well-born soul must win what it deserves...

PROFILES IN COURAGE

Posted on March 07, 2011
We submit to you Broward ASA Anita White.(Hat tip to Broward Beat- the title of the post links to the Sun Sentinel Article.)Faced with a Governor who wants to balance the budget on the backs of poor state employees, Ms. White took a day off from work, drove to Tallahassee (at $3...

BREAKING SATURDAY NEWS: One of

Posted on March 05, 2011
BREAKING SATURDAY NEWS: One of Charlie Sheen's two "goddesses" has "left the building" as per a late night Tweet. Events are fluid in California and in Tripoli and we are monitoring both for you. Friday's Investiture of Judge Michaelle Gonzalez Paulson: An eyewitness to history writes: Anonymous said...

MR. IRRELEVANT (RC)

Posted on March 03, 2011
First a shout-out to our gracious hosts in the 9th Circuit. What a wonderful place to practice. And the law ain't bad out there either. Next- South Florida has two good posts- DOM's motion for Buju for a new trial (rule 33) and motion for judgment of acquittal (rule 29) which...

NO PARKING ...NO PEACE

Posted on February 28, 2011
No Parking...No Peace. OrNo Parking....No Pleas. Anyway you look at it, the unlawful usurpation of parking spaces in Lot 26 by the myriad of South Florida Police Agencies continues into its second month. Rumors swirl of jackbooted thugs threatening to arrest City Parking Attendants who dare to question the officers authority to park where their agency hasn't secured their right to park...

WHO IS THE BEST YOU EVER SAW?

Posted on February 28, 2011
Sometimes readers drive the bus: Sam I am said...Rumpole: Everyone hates lawyers... (hard not to when you have to count Thomas Jefferson, Abe Lincoln, Gandhi and Nelson Mandela amongst your ilk). But here's a question for you and your able readers: Who are the five most vile attorneys of the past 300 years? I'll take my answer off the air...

RIP DUKE

Posted on February 27, 2011
EDWIN DONALD (THE DUKE) SNIDER passed away Sunday at the age of 84. Believe or not kids, there was a time way before Starbucks, the internet, and cell phones, when New York had 3, count-em, THREE baseball teams. And none of the players had agents. Centerfield for Dem Bums, the Brooklyn Dodgers, was patrolled by "The Duke Of Flatbush": Duke Snider...

TWITTER!!!

Posted on February 26, 2011
Well our Twittering has been an unqualified success! And it's fun too!In case you missed it, here are some of the things we discussed on twitter the last few days:FEDS GO AFTER JURY NULLIFICATION ADVOCATE:The US Attorneys Office in Manhattan (Motto: "In the Southern District Of NY our 'you know what' doesn't stink...

RUMPOLE ON TWITTER/PROBLEMS AT THE HAGUE

Posted on February 24, 2011
Before we get to Twitter, a quick report from the Colonel of County Court:Attention All County Court Soldiers! The Colonel is in the House. At ease soldiers, take a knee. The major shake up in County Court has been the replacement of Judge Bloom with Judge Hague...

THE UPS AND DOWNS OF SAM SLOM'S WORLD

Posted on February 23, 2011
Kudos to Judges Slom and Soto for responding to the complaints re: the infamous lot 26. Dear Friends: Judge Soto and I understand your frustration and we will chat with Chief Judge Joel Brown and our Trial Court Administrator as to what avenues can be pursued to address the parking issue...

AN INVITATION FROM JUDGE COOKE

Posted on February 22, 2011
An invitation from Judge Marcia Cooke arrived in our email inbox the other day. When emails arrive from federal judges we immediately start checking our bank balance to see if sufficient funds are available to hire Mr. Markus for defense. But not to worry, this email contained an invitation for a wonderful event...

PARKING MAYHEM!!!!

Posted on February 22, 2011
As many of you are aware, the parking nightmare that we predicted (see, Thin Edge of A Large Wedge from January 18 of this year, when we also predicted the fall of the governments of Egypt and Libya.) has come home to roost. Today, a Tuesday after a Monday off saw police officers from multi-jurisdictions take almost all the spots that attorneys are paying a monthly fee for...

MONDAY OFF

Posted on February 21, 2011
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DOM DOES IT AGAIN

Posted on February 18, 2011
Longtime and careful perusers of these electronic pages know that Rumpole's Fourth Rule of Trials ( (c)2011 Rumpole, all rights reserved) is 4)AVOID FRIDAY VERDICTS AT ALL COSTS!!!Longtime and careful readers of the blog will remember that the last time our hero went to Tampa to defend Buju Banton, David Markus endured a tense Friday only to have deliberations halted for the weekend and resume on Monday, wherein the jury eventually announced they were hung...

MOVE ON

Posted on February 16, 2011
Time to move on. The only posts that have stayed up longer have been those remembering when someone we knew died. And thank goodness no one has died. Nice to see the late Rob Pinero is up for an FACDL award. Kudos to whomever nominated him. Where do we vote? The FACDL listserv was abuzz with a Rule 29 (JOA for us State court practitioners) that David Joffe obtained for his client facing a minimum life sentence (double 851 enhancement) in a big drug case...

SILENT THOMAS

Posted on February 14, 2011
Our own "Silent Charlie" has nothing on Justice Clarence Thomas. As the NY Times pointed out Sunday, it's been FIVE YEARS since Thomas asked a question in oral argument, and that question was reportedly "Are you done? I need to use the head." From the article: "In the past 40 years, no other justice has gone an entire term, much less five, without speaking at least once during arguments, according to Timothy R...

HIRSCH PRACTICE ORDER

Posted on February 14, 2011
Here we go. The much discussed, (in)famous Judge Hirsch Practice order. Judge Milton Hirsch Motion Practice Order A few thoughts:The order is dated January 4, 2011, the first working day of his term. One could say it shows that he started his term prepared...

FWS

Posted on February 13, 2011
FWS: (From the Urban Dictionary):1. The agonizing mental process of accepting that football season is finally over.This serious mental disorder afflicts millions of Americans every year, usually in the second week of February. Effective therapy is not available until the following August, at the earliest...

MUBARK RESIGNS (sort of)...POLICE INVADE!

Posted on February 10, 2011
UPDATE: Marbarak has just spoken. He did not resign. He did transfer power to his VP. But he's still around. Sort of like a lesser included jury verdict. No one wins, no one is happy. Unlike a jury verdict, the situation in Egypt cannot last. The people are furious and they will not accept this compromise...

TRAFFICKING UNCONSTITUTIONAL! (but still not legal).

Posted on February 08, 2011
There was some chatter in Tallahassee this past week about upping to ten years as a member of the Florida Bar (from five years) the minimum requirement to be a Judge. If they make it retro-active, the REGJB could empty out quickly. Add a requirement of say ten jury trials and ten appeals and the hallways would be downright lonely...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RONALD WILSON REAGAN

Posted on February 07, 2011
With all the hoopla over the Miami Heat recently, we neglected to mention that Sunday marked the 100th birthday of the 40th (and our 2nd favourite) President of the United States. Why is Ronald Wilson Reagan our 2nd favourite President? Simple. It was - as Sarah Palin likes to note- his life long adherence to the conservative values that made our country great that endear him most to us...

FIRST SUPER BOWL PREDICTION

Posted on February 05, 2011
We really like tails. Also the over. The Steelers were 2 point dogs by the public and two point favourites by the bettors. So the early play was Pittsburgh +2. But lets say you've woken up on the day of the big game and decided to make the Super Bowl interesting...

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