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Family Law

Domestic Diversions

Focused on relationships, families and family law.

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Last Entry: November 05, 2020 at 05:40:32

He loves me, he loves me not: What do your children think?

Posted on September 15, 2009
The New York Times summarizes the research showing how TV guru Phil McGraw and Supernanny Jo Frost have it all wrong: using “I Love You” to control behavior harms children. Alfie Kohn writes (excerpt): In practice, according to an impressive collection of data by Dr...

Collaborative Divorce: Investing in cooperation now brings less fights for parents later

Posted on August 23, 2009
The Traverse City Record-Eagle introduces the concept of the gentler divorce through Collaborative Divorce to our neighbors to the north. Vanessa McCray writes (excerpt): But feelings and the family’s future are not to be overlooked. Divorce is a “devastating and emotionally intense time, even if you’ve chosen to use this model,” she said...

Tip #1 on how to persuade

Posted on August 21, 2009
Examiner.com explains that becoming more persuasive starts with your personal credibility. Robert Morris writes (excerpt): There are several outstanding books in which their authors provide a wealth of different perspectives, comments, and suggestions...

Getting the most out of your brain

Posted on August 18, 2009
Real Simple explains how to get your brain to operate more efficiently. Jonah Lehrer lists 10 ways to improve your thinking (excerpt): 1. Tap your emotions. 2. Don’t think under pressure. 3. Consider alternative points of view. 4. Challenge your preferences...

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The first to make the facts come alive: Gaining the advantage in bench trials

Posted on August 14, 2009
The ABA’s McElhaney on Litigation reminds us of how to persuade a judge. Jim McElhaney writes (excerpt): ?You are talking directly to a fellow human being about the ?gut stuff? of life. What?s right and what?s wrong. Fair and unfair. Just and unjust...

Dowry offer for Chelsea Clinton: And Rumi thought the price of kissing was your life

Posted on August 09, 2009
CNN reports on Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s promise to “convey this very kind offer.” Moni Basu writes (excerpt): What can 40 goats and 20 cows buy a Kenyan man? Chelsea Clinton’s love, if you ask Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor...

Persuading without fake sincerity: The truth behind effective public speaking

Posted on August 08, 2009
Courtroom Performance’s new book, The Lawyer?s Winning Edge: Exceptional Courtroom Performance highlights four aspects of persuasion. Lisa L. DeCaro and Leonard Matheo write (excerpt): Remember these four important truths, and filter all advice through them: 1...

When the kids come between you: save your marriage, help your children

Posted on July 30, 2009
CNN and Parenting.com gives us 11 tips on how to save your marriage from your kids Teri Cettina’s list includes (excerpt): Create warm welcomes Try 20-minute reconnects Set early bedtimes Share the load Encourage your kids’ independence Revive your past Put sex on your schedules Fight as if the neighbors can hear you Remember: Dad’s way works, too Be a cheap date Understand the stages of marriage

Grand Rapids Collaborative Child Specialists

Posted on July 25, 2009
Gentler Divorce’s list of collaborative child specialists in Grand Rapids who are trained and committed to collaborative divorce includes: Peter Everts Mary Lier Linda Ringleka Michael Ryan Leslie Visser

Grand Rapids Collaborative Divorce Mental Health Professionals and Divorce Coaches

Posted on July 24, 2009
Gentler Divorce’s list of collaborative mental health professionals and divorce coaches in Grand Rapids who are trained and committed to collaborative divorce includes: Craig A. DeWitt Peter Everts Denise Hames Mary Lier Linda Ringleka Michael Ryan Thomas Spahn Leslie Visser Charlene Wickering

Grand Rapids Collaborative Divorce Lawyers

Posted on July 23, 2009
Gentler Divorce’s list of collaborative attorneys in grand rapids who are trained and committed to collaborative divorce includes: Deborah Bennett Berecz Melanie DeStigter Anthony Gauthier Susan Wilson Keener Courtney L. Quist Ric Roane David Sarnacki Randy Velzen

A really good story = persuasive closing argument

Posted on July 10, 2009
ABA Journal’s McElhaney on Litigationshows how to make your closing argument ring true. Jim McElhaney writes (excerpt): Cabbages and Insance Goats ?Thirty years ago, the late Craig Spangenberg of Cleveland said, ?The greatest weapon in the arsenal of persuasion is the analogy, the story, the apt comparison to something the jurors know from their own experience to [...

Marriage counseling: Therapists help those who help themselves?

Posted on July 06, 2009
The Detroit Free Press identifies the need for couples to take action, work with their marriage counselor and avoid four obstacles to a successful therapy relationship. Alex Kecskes writes (excerpt): 1. Couples don’t have a goal in mind. They’re stuck in their own feelings about the relationship, their own blame about how their partner has wronged them, [...

Negotiating skills: 5 tips for persuasion

Posted on July 04, 2009
Examiner.com shows how to prioritize negotiations from most important to least important. The commentary concludes with another hearty recommendation of Robert Cialdini?s Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. In between those two points, the author includes five guidelines for formal negotiations...

Just how temporary is the custody awarded to Michael Jackson?s mother?

Posted on July 03, 2009
The New York Times adds a little context to the looming custody issues following Michael Jackson’s death and the apparent change of heart by Debbie Rowe toward 12-year-old Michael Joseph Jackson Jr. and 11-year-old Paris Michael Katherine Jackson, 11...

Create a happy, healthy marriage: 9 tips

Posted on June 27, 2009
CNN and Health Magazine show how making some effort leads to making your marriage last. Kate Stinchfield explains 9 ways to a happy, healthy marriage (excerpt): 1. Watch your waistline 2. Have a financial plan 3. Figure out your family rules 4. Make sex a priority — but not a chore 5...

Happy divorces: using collaborative divorce to avoid more trauma

Posted on June 26, 2009
Smart Money shows how making joint decisions can cost less and feel better. Aleksandra Todorova writes (excerpt): The goal of collaborative divorce is to avoid that. “In a collaborative divorce, the decisions have to be made by the couple,” Stoner says...

The power of explanation: how to be a great communicator

Posted on June 25, 2009
Bloomberg shows how persuasion requires explanation and gives 3 tips for becoming a more effective communicator. John Baldoni writes (excerpt): Define what it is. The purpose of an explanation is to describe the issue, the initiative, or the problem...

Rush to judgment: how to lower the costs of divorce

Posted on June 24, 2009
Smart Money declares the top 5 divorce mistakes and highlights divorce mediation in the process. Stacey L. Bradford writes (excerpt): 4. Rushing to Court The fastest way to run up those hourly attorney fees is to go to court. While a regular divorce costs around $8,000, one that goes to trial can easily run upwards of $20,000, says [...

Finding the right balance: work and family

Posted on June 23, 2009
CNN & CareerBuilder offer tips for mixing family and career. Jason Ferrara writes (excerpt): 1. Communicate Don’t reserve your open dialogues only for your boss. Make sure you’re talking to your family about what’s happening at work ...

Back seat drivers: Moms who control dads’ time with the kids

Posted on June 22, 2009
The Wall Street Journal shows how “gatekeeper” mothers can help or hinder the involvement of fathers. Sue Shellenbarger writes (excerpt): Some ideas on avoiding the gatekeeping trap: Skills training. . . . In the hospital after childbirth, Mr...

Fatherhood: having the courage to raise a child

Posted on June 21, 2009
Parade Magazine shares some fatherly advice from our President. President Barack Obama writes (excerpt): . . . When we work hard, treat others with respect, spend within our means, and contribute to our communities, those are the lessons our children learn...

Feeling guilty about your divorce? How to overcome guilt

Posted on June 17, 2009
Attorney Mike Mastracci shares Dr. Paul Wanio’s tips for understanding guilt in divorce: Nobody’s perfect and that’s OK. Everyone makes mistakes, even when they’re doing their best. Divorce is like death in that you and your children need to grieve for the losses divorce entails...

Before the relocation: living together after filing for divorce

Posted on June 13, 2009
Dr. Deborah Hecker.com/ published tips for living together separately after the divorce; many suggestions would work well for that time period when a divorce is filed or imminent but neither spouse has relocated: Be civil and respectful at all times. Both parties and their children must be clear that the arrangement is temporary...

Not quite a top ten list: 6 principles for raising healthy children of divorce

Posted on June 10, 2009
Attorney Mike Mastracci shared 6 principles for putting your children first: Avoid playing the blame game. Don’t blame your ex for the divorce, for lack of money, or for the loss of your home or possessions. Your problems with your spouse are adult issues that shouldn’t be aired in front of the children...

Today is your lucky day & you can’t control it!

Posted on June 09, 2009
CNN shows us the difference between controlling the outcome and controlling how we face the outcome. Peter Bregman writes (excerpt): So here’s the good news: You can change your results by changing your mind-set. When Dweck trained children to view themselves as capable of growing their intelligence, they worked harder, more persistently, and with greater success on [...

Raising healthy children of divorce: a top 10 list

Posted on June 06, 2009
Dr. Deborah Hecker provides these suggestions for understanding and meeting the needs of their children: The ?best interests of the children? does not mean the immediate gratification of the client and his/her need for me-me-me. Over and over again, the focus should be pro-child and centered on building a safety net for the children...

Losing an honorable man: Judge Michael Smolenski

Posted on June 02, 2009
The Grand Rapids Press reports on the passing of Judge Michael Smolenski, 64, who died from a rare neurological disease. Nardy Baeza Bickel writes (excerpt): Rretired Michigan Appeals Court Judge Michael Smolenski passed away Saturday night after battling a rare neurological disease in recent years and five months after voluntarily retiring because of his debilitating condition...

Keeping the kids out of it: Jon & Kate plus anger, infidelity, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera

Posted on June 01, 2009
The Detroit Free Press uses the Jon and Kate Gosselin saga at TLC’s “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ as a springboard for a discussion about mistrust, honesty and forgiveness. And what about the children? Erin Chan Ding writes (excerpt): BENSKEY: You always want to reassure a child that the problem has nothing to do with them...

If you try collaborative divorce first, you might just come out with some communication skills

Posted on May 25, 2009
The Orlando Sentinel reports on how collaborative divorce promotes a kinder, gentler process. Mark Schlueb writes (excerpt): “You’re focusing on the children from the start,” she said. “And people who have been through it say they came out with communication skills they didn’t have before...

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