Family Law

Empowering Parents :: Part Five

By Ben Stevens

The following is part five of our exclusive online presentation of "Empowering Parents" by Rev. Dr. Trey Kuhne, LMFT:

I hope those reading this series are thinking about renewing your marriage and perhaps other relationships. Renewal of relationships is important because it is a way to value those relationships. Think through those who are your friends. Take a moment to tell them how special they are to you and how you appreciate their part in your life.

Telling those we love how important they are to us is privileged communication. In legal terms, privileged communications are conversations that are protected in trust when one sees a counselor or clergy, in that signed release is required before such information can be made public. The communication is considered privileged or special because the conditions surrounding the conversation, its content, and the manner in which it is shared are private and held in that privacy much like our money is held in a secure bank vault.

I was thinking about this idea of privileged communication. I deal with it every day in my work. But I was thinking about how conversations with our spouses are also special and privileged. Without the sense of security and privacy enabled by the confidences of our spouse, our own sense of vulnerability could be found in jeopardy.

What makes talking to a counselor so special? The strong and secure sense of confidence and confidentiality. Secrets can be shared where they wouldn't be shared otherwise. What is so special about talking to a minister or clergy? There is something powerful to be said about being honest, vulnerable, open, real, and free about our relationship with God and the struggles we encounter in everyday life living by faith.

Our relationships and our marriages are psychological, spiritual, and social opportunities of privileged communications. There is even a bible study group called 'Call to Discipleship' where the small groups enter into strict confidentiality with one another so that openness, honesty, and a real sense of vulnerability can be shared with one another. Isn't this a benefit of our marriage as well?

It is an honor and act of respect to your spouse in marriage when you share with them in confidence. Opening up the secret, vulnerable, and private areas of our heart and mind shows to our spouse that we consider them worthy of privileged communications. This kind of trust builds a marriage and empowers each spouse. It is trust in its most basic form.

May this year be a year of more privileged communications with your spouse as you are empowered and strengthened in your marriage and family to the glory of God.

Grace and Peace,
Dr. Trey Kuhne

Dr. Trey Kuhne is a pastoral counselor and licensed marriage and family therapist with Pathways Pastoral Counseling located at St. Christopher's Episcopal Church, 400 Dupre Drive, Spartanburg, SC 29307. He specializes in working with individuals, couples and families. Call (864) 542-3019 for an appointment. He may be reach via email at: pathwayspc@aol.com.

Full post as published by SC Family Law Blog on August 05, 2009 (boomark / email).