Legal Commentary

A & B For P & J: Washington State High School Student Accused of Assault with a Deadly Peanut Butter Sandwich

Posted on October 04, 2008
Joshua Hickson, 19, appears by any measure to be an idiot. When he found out that a student at Wenatchee High School was severely allergic to peanuts, he repeatedly smeared a peanut butter sandwich on the student’s forehead. However, some people are objecting that he is now charged with criminal assault despite the [...

Simpson Convicted On All Counts

Posted on October 04, 2008
O.J. Simpson has been convicted on all 12 counts in his armed robbery case in Las Vegas. The case involving the the robbery of two sports memorabilia dealers at a casino hotel could result in a life sentence for the former football star. Simpson was engaged in a conventional act of self-help in [...

The Body Count Culture: The Bush Administration?s Record on Prosecuting Terrorism Cases

Posted on October 03, 2008
Given the Second Circuit’s overturning of the New York terrorism convictions, the testimony below before Congress may offer a broader understanding of the poor performance of the Bush Administration in this area. I presented an expanded version of this testimony yesterday at Cleveland State University College of Law’s 10th Annual Criminal Law Forum...

Seven-Year-Old Breaks Into Zoo, Clubs Animals to Death, and Feeds Others to Crocodile

Posted on October 03, 2008
In class, we often discuss the limitations on suing children for torts, particularly children under seven. Now, an Australian case represents the problem in dealing with kids who cause destruction. In this case, a seven-year-old broke into a zoo, bludgeoned lizards to death and fed them to Terry, a large crocodile...

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The Ultimate Joe-Six-Pack Vote: Obama Endorsed by Homer Simpson

Posted on October 03, 2008
This week, Obama secured the most sought after endorsement of the election. The ultimate “Joe-Six-Pack” often discussed by Gov. Sarah Palin has endorsed and voted for Sen. Obama in the video below. Homer’s vote is a significant change and should worry the McCain camps...

Judge Upholds Troopergate Investigation of Gov. Sarah Palin

Posted on October 03, 2008
Shortly before the start of the Vice Presidential debate, Alaskan judge Peter Michalski handed down a major ruling threw out a challenge by Republican politicians seeking to block an investigation into Gov. Sarah Palin in the so-called Troopergate scandal...

Second Circuit Overturns Major Terrorism Convictions

Posted on October 03, 2008
In another loss of the Bush Administration, the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit overturned the convictions of Sheik Mohammed Ali Al-Moayad and Mohammed Mohsen Zayed. Ironically, when the decision came down, I was speaking at Cleveland State College of Law on the dismal record of the Bush Administration in prosecuting [...

In Harn?s Way: MADD Sued For Discrimination in Removing Drunk Driving Victim Considers to be ?Too Disturbing? for Public Events

Posted on October 02, 2008
Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) is facing a discrimination action by a victim of drunk drivers, who claims that she was removed from public events due to her appearance. A drunk driver left Rose Harn with one working eye, brain damaged, and a shriveled, disfigured body as well as the need for a rag [...

Religious Controversy Grips the Hamptons

Posted on October 02, 2008
A major fight is brewing in the tranquil environs of the Hamptons. Rabbi Marc Schneier and Orthodox Jews want Westhampton Beach officials to approve the placement of an eruv, a religious boundary that allows observant Jews to perform minor tasks on their Sabbath or on religious holidays...

Jet[Black and]Blue: Airline Pilots Charged with Battery and a Flight Attendent Charged with Abuse in Two Separate Cases from Fort Lauderdale

Posted on October 02, 2008
JetBlue seems to have taken a bad turn this week. In Fort Lauderdale, two JetBlue pilots, Pilots William Hart Smith, 40, and Brad Leopard, 38,, went to a strip club and then allegedly attacked a taxi driver over a $9 fare to a Subway restaurant. In the meantime, a women has said that [...

Possible Mistrial in Sen. Stevens? Corruption Trial

Posted on October 02, 2008
Senator Ted Stevens may get a mistrial after the judge discovered that prosecutors withheld material evidence from his defense. It is a great irony for the Republican Senator who, like Sen. Larry Craig, spent careers stripping criminal defendants of rights, but soon found the value of those hated little “technicalities...

Accused Police Officer in New York Taser Death Commits Suicide at Police Station

Posted on October 02, 2008
The tragic case of Iman Morales just got more tragic. Morales was found dancing naked on the top of a ledge. Police shot him with a taser, resulting in his fall and death. It was an obviously poor decision in violation of department guidelines. Now, the officer in charge who gave [...

Police Officer Accused of Intentionally Hitting S.C. Man and Then Bragging Out It

Posted on October 01, 2008
A trooper in South Carolina is accused of intentionally hitting a suspect and then bragging out it on a police recording. Lance Cpl. Steven Garren is heard on a tape boasting about how he bagged the suspect, Marvin Grant, who is shown on a dash cam recording bouncing off the hood of his cruiser...

The Cow Did It: Ohio Woman Terrorizes Neighborhood Children While Dressed as Deranged Bovine

Posted on October 01, 2008
MIDDLETOWN — This could be the easiest line-up that the Middletown, Ohio police ever put on. Michelle Allen, 32, was arrested after allegedly chasing children and urinating on a front porch in her neighborhood. She was easy to spot. She was wearing a cow outfit...

Latest Biblical Beast Sighting: GOP Mayor Says that It Remains Unclear Whether Obama is the Anti-Christ

Posted on October 01, 2008
Republican politicians continue to explore the possibility that Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ. Recently, a Republican County Chairperson suggested that he was indeed the biblical beast foretold in the Book of Revelation. Now, Fort Mill, S.C. Mayor Danny Funderburk admits that he sent out an e-mail warning about the possibility, but insists [...

City Council Asks Tenants to Stop Locking Sheds to Allow Less Damage During Burglaries

Posted on October 01, 2008
The Bristol City Council has finally acted in response to a rash of burglaries of council-owned sheds: it has asked tenants to stop using locks because burglars often damage the doors to get inside. The National Criminal Association applauds the act as a needed reform where the government and burglars can work together [...

Republican Chairwoman Resigns After Sending E-Mails Suggesting that Obama is the Anti-Christ

Posted on September 30, 2008
Republican activists appear to be increasingly leaving behind oil, the economy, and the war as campaign issues in favor of a single campaign issue: Obama is the anti-Christ foretold in Revelations. Only recently, James Bramlett sent out an email warning that Satan was behind Obama’s success...

The Troutman Found With Dead Cats: New York Landlord Sued for Allegedly Using Cat Carcases to Force Tenants to Leave

Posted on September 30, 2008
Heskel Properties of Manhattan is being sued for a bizarre effort to force tenants out of an apartment building that it recently purchased: it littered the property with dead cats to create a stench at 64 Troutman — a building in Brooklyn. The tenants apparently have rent-controlled apartment and they accuse the new [...

Officer (Not So) Friendly: Iowa Man Charged with Assault After Hugging Police Officer

Posted on September 30, 2008
On a Saturday afternoon in Iowa City, Iowa, Luke Schreder had a dangerous, felonious idea: he thought that a police officer just “needed a hug.” The officer proceeded to charge him with assault on a peace officer for his spontaneous act of affection...

Over 200 Killed or Injured in Another Stampede at a Hindu Temple in India

Posted on September 30, 2008
India has experienced yet another stampede at a Hindu temple. Over 25,000 devotees showed up to pass through a steep and narrow pathway to 15th century Chamunda Devi temple. The resulting stampede killed at least 147 and injured at least 55 others...

Amazing X-Ray of 15-Year-Old Knife Victim

Posted on September 30, 2008
The English police are seeking some thugs in a horrific stabbing crime near a bus stop. I am not going to try to invent some substantive reason for adding these x-ray images other than to note: THIS KID SURVIVED. A 15-year-old boy tried to stop a robbery in England and was stabbed in [...

Would You Like to Come Upstairs and See My Fatwa? Pakistani President Sanctioned for Flirting with Sarah Palin

Posted on September 30, 2008
On this SNL video of Tina Faye playing Sarah Palin, she complains about a couple of Pakistani guys “literally embracing her.” It appears that it was more than comic relief. Pakistani cleric Maulana Abdul Ghafar has issued a fatwah against Pakistan President Asif Ali Zardari for “unIslamic” flirting with Palin in New York...

Egyptian Journalist Jailed for Writing About Mubarak?s Health

Posted on September 29, 2008
The Egyptian appeals court on Sunday upheld the conviction of Ibrahim Eissa, editor of the independent daily al-Dustor. His crime? He simply wrote about the health of 80-year-old President Hosni Mubarak and was accused of damaging national security by spreading rumors...

Potty Confusion in Personchester: Gender-Nuetral Toilets Cause Chaos at Manchester University

Posted on September 29, 2008
Jennie Killip, the women’s officer at the students’ union at Manchester University, considered traditional toilet signs to be insulting to transgender students by referring to “Gents” or “Ladies” or “Men” or “Women...

China Accused of Lies and Cover-up in Massacre

Posted on September 29, 2008
Do you remember that “separatist attack” in Kashgar that the Chinese government and media reported days before the Olympics? Evidence now indicates that the government lied to the world about two separatists killing Chinese paramilitary police...

Chinese Government Pressuring Lawyers to Stop Representing Tainted Milk Victims

Posted on September 29, 2008
Chinese public interest lawyers are being pressured to drop clients injured by the latest Chinese product scandal related to tainted milk. The Chinese government now views these victims and their claims to be an unacceptable embarrassment. The options for victims in China are limited, but these lawyers have been utilizing what is available to help [...

Special Prosecutor Appointed to Investigate the U.S. Attorneys Firings

Posted on September 29, 2008
After many months of refusing demands for a special prosecutor, Attorney General Michael Mukasey has finally yielded after the Justice Department’s own Inspector General called for such an appointment. He appointed Nora Dannehy, an experienced career federal prosecutor in Connecticut...

Inspector General?s Report Calls for Appointment of Special Prosecutor

Posted on September 29, 2008
For many months, some of us have been calling for a special prosecutor to handle allegations of criminality in the Bush Administration, particularly with regard to unlawful surveillance, torture, and political firings. Now the Inspector General has called for such an appointment to further investigate the removal of nine U...

Muslim Forklift Operator Sues English Company For Having to ?Handle? Alcohol

Posted on September 29, 2008
Mohammed Ahmed, 32, is suing the English company Tesco because some of the crates that he was forced to lift with his machine contained alcohol, which he insists violates his religious beliefs. The company insists that it tried to accommodate him but that virtually all such jobs involved some interaction with alcohol products...

Texas Jury Acquits Man Who Forced Teens to Kneel in Front of Him and Fatally Shot One in the Back

Posted on September 28, 2008
A Laredo, Texas jury has acquitted a man who was accused of murdering a boy who broke into his home with other teens in search of snacks and sodas in July 2007. Jose Luis Gonzalez, 63, shot Francisco Anguiano, 13, in the back after making him and his three friends kneel in front of [...

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