Miscellaneous

Get your hands off my science text book, you damn dirty ape!

Posted on June 30, 2008
Mother fuck. One of my biggest pet peeves, in a day and age where there are a lot of things that get my blood boiling, are these hick mother fuckers who simply can't deal with the fact that evolution happened....

Now if we could just get some legislation protecting us from shitty Jerry Bruckheimer movies...

Posted on June 30, 2008
I hate Jerry Bruckheimer. Hate. He and Michael Bay are responsible for foisting some of the worst celluloid crap upon us this side of Uwe Boll. And I think it's 1998's Armageddon which really made my relationship with Bruckheimer irreconcilable....

Congrats to Espana

Posted on June 30, 2008
In honor of Spain pulling out a great win in the Euro 2008 tournament, here's a soccer related story for all you footie fans. Over in Jolly Ol', the police pulled over a car for speeding. The passenger decided to...

My eyes ... these goggles, they do nuzzing!

Posted on June 30, 2008
I'm no better than most everyone else. If I hear there's a celebrity sex tape, I kinda want to see it just because. However, I have no, no, no desire to see the sex tape starring Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer, which...

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"George Carlin Is In Hell. Deal With It."

Posted on June 27, 2008
If Heaven admitted Westboro Baptist Fuck, Fred Phelps, I'd gladly walk into the flames of Hell with a smile on my face....

Friday's in Colostomy Bag Punditry

Posted on June 27, 2008
"The last football game we'll ever get to see before the United States gets blown up by the Islamists under Obama." ... Hugh Hewitt, June 25, 2008. 1) Wow! 2) Who the hell is Hugh Hewitt; and 3) I...

What the Hell is Going on in Canada?

Posted on June 27, 2008
Last week, we gave you the absolutely ridiculous case in Canada where a 12-year-old girl sued her father because she felt her punishment was too harsh and won. This week, the Human Rights Tribunal in Vancouver has agreed to hear...

The Daily Memo - 6/27/08

Posted on June 27, 2008
The Secret Service is a bunch of heartless bastards, getting a crazy homeless guy tossed in the clink for five years just cause he said he wanted to head down to DC to shoot Mr. Bush. (Above the Law) Earlier...

Was her name Rosie?

Posted on June 27, 2008
Over in Italy, a 43-year-old Genoa man was upset about his ex-girlfriend leaving him. So he did what any cool-headed man does -- he called up his buddies and went to the local pub to get trashed, lick his wounds...

Lemme see Adam's Sandler's shitty Zohan do this!

Posted on June 27, 2008
In Canton, Michigan, Joseph Webster wandered into a local bank thinking he was going to make some quick cash. He gave the teller a note telling her he had a bomb strapped to his chest. After hitting the silent alarm,...

The best trespassing story you'll read all day

Posted on June 27, 2008
In Boulder, Colorado, 25-year-old Luke Barrett has been arrested for, and pleaded guilty to, trespassing and obstructing an officer. Seems that Barrett was homeless and so, last December, he made his own home on the property of a T-Mobile store....

Who The Hell Are You Calling Black, Kettle?

Posted on June 26, 2008
Unbelievable!...

Lesser of Two Evils Loses Millions

Posted on June 26, 2008
I've never been a huge fan of NBC's "To Catch a Predator," and I always suspected it was only a matter of time before they drove someone to suicide. And in fact, they did just that a couple of years...

Aaaaaand, today's Australia hat trick is complete

Posted on June 26, 2008
Brilliant. Just brilliant. A police officer approached a motorist relieving himself on the side of the road in South Kitsap, a suburb of Washington. The man explained to the officer that he had consumed "a bunch" of beers but was...

The Daily Memo - 6/26/08

Posted on June 26, 2008
God forbid an all-female law firm try to have a little fun with its advertising. (Buffalo News) Could gas prices plummet to $2 a gallon if Congress would just get off its ass and do something? (MarketWatch) The Central District...

Supreme Court Allows Heston to Keep Handgun in Cold, Dead Hands

Posted on June 26, 2008
Unsurprisingly, and by another 5-4 vote, the Supreme Court just handed down it's ruling on the D.C. handgun ban, ruling that it was unconstitutional under the 2nd Amendment. The biggest surprise to me, I suppose, is that there were four...

Zoinks! Like, no way man!

Posted on June 26, 2008
Australia may not have free speech, but they've got a Scooby on the lam. In fact, Scooby Doo "has become one of Queensland's most wanted after giving police the slip during a reckless track invasion at the Ipswich Cup race...

I thought he was just a hotrod builder?

Posted on June 26, 2008
In Australia, a 16-year-old boy has been arrested because he had the audacity to wear a t-shirt. Down under, they've got this Summary Offences Act 2005 which makes public nuisance illegal and, apparently, t-shirts are public nuisances. To be fair,...

Well, It's About Damn Time ...

Posted on June 25, 2008
Seattle police -- good men and women with a healthy amount of common sense -- have appropriately started ticketing folks who hold up traffic in the passing lane of the freeway, even if they are going the speed limit. And...

Clinton Holds Hand with Unidentified Woman; Canada Goes Apeshit

Posted on June 25, 2008
The Edmonton Sun caught this image on camera and ran wild with it: An Edmonton Sun photo of Bill Clinton holding hands with a smiling young woman has launched a new storm of gossip and speculation for the randy ex-commander-in-...

It's about time man-tits were made illegal

Posted on June 25, 2008
In Easton, Maryland, 18-year-old Sean Cephus was given a ticket earlier this month for having the temerity to wander around outside with no shirt. This scofflaw was in direct violation of the town's 1974 ordinance forbidding public toplessness and so...

The Daily Memo - 6/25/08

Posted on June 25, 2008
Note to self -- when robbing a gas station, don't give them my driver's license first and then leave it there. (AL.com) Summer associates get drunk and hook up the night before they're supposed to build a Habitat for Humanity...

Supreme Court Gets It Right, But I Don't Like It

Posted on June 25, 2008
I'm not a death penalty advocate whatsoever; in fact, I'm pretty set against it, so long as I'm not actually privy to the facts of a particular case (throw in the gruesome details, and my conservative "give 'em the chair"...

When opening the QuizLaw Mailbag, please bring your own terrorist funding

Posted on June 25, 2008
You gotta love our diligent government. Reader Eric O. points us to the story of a poor Danish clothing boutique which tried to order six dresses from a dress manufacturer in Pakistan, only to find its $205 payment frozen by...

How to get away with crimes in Norman, Oklahoma

Posted on June 25, 2008
It's quite simple, really. Let's say you suddenly find yourself in a high-speed chase. It's late on a Sunday night, and the po-lice are on your tail. You turn left, they turn left. You turn right, they turn right. Like...

Wow! What an Enthusiastic Endorsement!

Posted on June 24, 2008
Bill Clinton finally came out and did what he needed to do, delivering this written, one-sentence endorsement of Barack Obama: "President Clinton is obviously committed to doing whatever he can and is asked to do to ensure Senator Obama is...

Wearing Saggy Pants? Well, You Get What You Deserve, Then

Posted on June 24, 2008
In Florida, though it's not yet a petty crime to wear your pants halfway down your ass, it still might get you shot. Why? Cause that's how they roll in Florida! A Jacksonville man is accused of shooting an 18-year-old...

Ha Ha Ha ... Wait, That's Not Funny

Posted on June 24, 2008
Those MySpace bastards have taken the "Punk'd" thing to a whole new level: Police charged two Spotsylvania County men yesterday after a Timberwood Road resident called to report a break-in and death threat. According to a press release from 1st...

The Daily Memo - 6/24/08

Posted on June 24, 2008
For eight-year-old NYC boys, has lawyer-envy taken the place of penis envy? (Legal Antics) "How to get your security deposit back." (LawInfo) Out in Weston, Ohio, a wonderful sheriff told kids that society would be so much simpler if we...

Can you smell me now?

Posted on June 24, 2008
That fine specimen of Ohio man right there is Jeffrey Barrier. He was recently arrested for being a video-taking peeping tom at a tanning salon. Seems the fine Mr. Barrier traveled on over to Aloha Tanning, in Cincinnati, and climbed...

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