Miscellaneous

God Bless Texas

Posted on November 25, 2008
Where even the politicians have no sense of decency: Dallas County Constable Jaime Cortes is already feeling the Christmas spirit. But this is not your average law enforcement holiday event. Cortes, the Precinct 5 constable who was just re-elected, is...

The Daily Memo - 11/25/08

Posted on November 25, 2008
The bailout bill could hit over $7 trillion. Buckle up kids, it's going to be a loooooong and bumpy flight. (Bloomberg Meanwhile, the Judges are still complaining about their fucking salaries. To be fair, if we're already spending $7 trillion...

My favorite police officer

Posted on November 25, 2008
Back in March, the Mayor of a small New York town (the Canadian article calls Mamaroneck a "bedroom community") was pulled over for using her cellphone while driving by Officer Michael Petrillo. When Mayor Savolt appeared in court in September,...

One town is living up to its name...

Posted on November 25, 2008
On Sunday, a 26-year-old man in a wheelchair was stabbed. Quite a surprise, no doubt. So fitting that he was stabbed in the town of Surprise. The victim, James Del Rio ... told police he was in his wheelchair going...

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Beady eyes and floppy heads, indeed!

Posted on November 25, 2008
For all the good up in Canada, they still fuck some shit up, eh. A recent court case has cost an internet carpooling startup eleven grand (Canadian). The site was designed to let folks easily arrange carpooling -- good for...

This Week's Best "SNL" Skit Left on the Cutting Room Floor

Posted on November 24, 2008
Why? Because it's too f**king funny for general consumption. Also, because nobody knows who Rahm Emanuel is. But he will cut you. And he'll probably cut Samberg for this skit....

Sometimes, YouTube Is Too Good to Be True

Posted on November 24, 2008
The fact that this woman exists makes me happy. So happy. There's nothing more satisfying than seeing a young mother teach her toddler to say,"F**k Obama." There's just too much crazy, and not enough world to go around....

Arrested for Farting? That's Flutulent!

Posted on November 24, 2008
Only in Florida, folks: A 12-year-old Florida student was arrested earlier this month after he "deliberately passed gas to disrupt the class," according to police. The child, who was also accused of shutting off the computers of classmates at Stuart's...

The Daily Memo - 11/24/08

Posted on November 24, 2008
Anne Coulter, Star Jones and Geraldo Rivera are on this lady's list of sexiest lawyers? Eegads. (LawInfo) If you're surprised by Obama's slide to the center, you haven't been paying attention to what's been behind the rhetoric. (Salon) An Iowa...

You think you've got landlord problems?

Posted on November 24, 2008
You ain't got shit. Because at least your landlord isn't Daniel Cunningham. A building owned by the Honolulu landlord recently collapsed and he claims it was the fault of the building's residents. If that's all we had, this story wouldn't...

Are you there God? It's me, Mugshot.

Posted on November 24, 2008
(From The Smoking Gun, of course.)...

These boots were made for stealin, and that's just what I'll do....

Posted on November 24, 2008
Last month I told you about the dangerous Florida Bra Bandit, a gal who stole 452 bras worth a little under two hundred grand. Well there's a Texas truck driver who'd like to tell her that she ain't shit. Because...

If a Tree Falls in the Woods and Everyone is Watching, Will Anyone Clean Up the Mess?

Posted on November 21, 2008
So, there's this online reality TV deal called Lifecaster, right? Lots of the kids these days, they tape themselves all Ed style, and you can go on over there and watch folks go on about their mundane lives. I don't...

This year, I'm thankful for Stormy Daniels

Posted on November 21, 2008
An appeals court has said that Pulaski Township's anti-porn ordinance is unconstitutionally vague. Which means that the local adult video store no longer has to shut down on state-recognized holidays. So this Thanksgiving, the folks in Pulaski can say "whatever"...

Florida-level Genius Found in California

Posted on November 21, 2008
Chris Baker, a true American hero. Chris Baker, 19, pulled up next to a police vehicle early Monday morning and rolled down the driver's side window, according to the Merced County Sheriff's Department. Baker allegedly asked Deputy Delray Shelton if....

Ra-ra, sis-boom-fail

Posted on November 21, 2008
In Houston, several cheerleaders have been indicted for hazing, and the 17- and 18-year-olds of the squad now face up to six months in the clink. It was only a tradition -- a friendly pre-dawn breakfast hosted by the varsity...

Unbelievable. The 24/7 News Back to Mind-Numbing Tedium

Posted on November 20, 2008
Makes you miss election coverage. And Natalee Halloway coverage. And Anna Nicole Smith. I mean, really: Doodles? DOODLES?! The one redeeming point: Hearing Wolf Blitzer say doodle. Talk about a guy who needs some doodlin'....

Conspiracy Theorist Make It To the Supreme Court

Posted on November 20, 2008
Yeah. Barack Obama was elected to be the next President of the United States. But it's not official yet. And apparently, Clarence Thomas thinks there's enough evidence that he's not a U.S. Citizen to review his birth certificate in the...

OMG!! What are you guys, like, doing um, next weekend?

Posted on November 20, 2008
'Cause evidently Britney has some pearls of wisdom to bestow. Following the incredibly horrible reception of her last attempt, Britney Spears is trying it again with a new documentary film, the brilliantly-titled and, I'm sure, thoughtfully conceived, "For the Record,"...

The Daily Memo - 11/20/08

Posted on November 20, 2008
The CA Supremes will hear arguments in March in the Prop 8 case. (LA Observed) Mitt Romney thinks a Detroit bailout is a bad idea if we want to see the industry fix itself. And I'm half-inclined to agree, particularly...

Knock knock .... who's there ... bar results!

Posted on November 20, 2008
Tomorrow is the dreaded day, here in California, when bar results come out. Reader three elle asked what recommendations we had to avoid insanity tomorrow, forced to watch the minutes tick away until the results go live. She said she...

Abracadabra ... Marthastewart Lawsuit!

Posted on November 20, 2008
Martha is being sued by a magician who is also a hand model. Actually, he's suing some of her companies, because he bought a Martha Stewart Everyday lounge chair and, when he was moving it on his deck last year,...

They may not be able to get married in most states...

Posted on November 20, 2008
...but now that eHarmony has settled its lawsuit with NJ's Attorney General, gays can find love through one of the biggest online matching services. Sorta. eHarmony isn't going to let them onto the main site, but will create a special...

Kids Can Be So Cruel

Posted on November 19, 2008
This is just mean: A few of the cool kids in a Utah high school convinced the mentally limited janitor to buy them beer in exchange for photographs of their penises (peni?). Fair enough, right? The boys get some beer,...

Is That Your Penis in a Jar Or Are You Just Happy to S ... Wait. Why is Your Penis in a Jar?

Posted on November 19, 2008
Freakshows. The whole world is full of 'em. Who the hell thinks to get himself off by sticking his penis in a jar? And who doesn't take it out of the jar before engaging in a high-speed chase with the...

A Silver Lining in the Recession

Posted on November 19, 2008
Man, this recession blows. I never thought that something like a little old worldwide economic recession would actually affect me, but Dear God, it's killing me. Thankfully, I'm not like one of the 50,000 Citigroup employees laid off earlier this...

That's it -- they're taking over!

Posted on November 19, 2008
Ok, look. Obama's our next President, I get it. But does he have to stick in the faces over every redneck racist out there? It's widely believed that he's going to nominate Eric H. Holder, Jr. for his Attorney General...

I Must Know What Kind of Sandwich It Was

Posted on November 18, 2008
Damnit. Damnit. You ever get hung up on the minutia in an otherwise interesting story? Sure, beating your girlfriend with a sandwich makes for a fascinating post, but not knowing what kind of sandwich it was is going to...

Microsoft Helps Keep Lawyers Employed

Posted on November 18, 2008
Via the Tax Prof, there's a wacky but legitimate employment law issue arising over computer boot-up times: Lawyers are noting a new type of lawsuit, in which employees are suing over time spent booting [up] their computers. ... During the...

Bad Way to Die: Episode #1

Posted on November 18, 2008
In a folding couch: A St. Petersburg woman who killed her husband by shutting him inside a folding couch has been given a one-year suspended sentence, prosecutors said Monday. In response to an insulting comment from her husband in July,...

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