Law Humor

Tough times on Wall Street these days -- not only are securities traders getting smacked around by the market, they aren't even safe during their leisure-time lap dances.

A lawsuit filed on March 14 by trader Stephen Chang alleges that Chang was injured at the rather unimaginatively named "Hot Lap Dance Club" last November.  (Isn't that sort of like calling your movie "Snakes on a Plane"?  It's not really a name, just a description.)

According to the New York Post, the complaint states that Mr. Chang "paid for and was receiving a lap dance" when, "during the course of said lap dance, the employee suddenly swung around, striking the plaintiff in the eye with the heel of her shoe."  Said strike allegedly caused Chang to "sustain serious injuries."  The Post said neither Chang nor his attorney would return calls to discuss the extent of the ocular infringement.

The Daily News was able to reach a manager at the club, however, who said he was skeptical because Chang had not reported any injuries at the time.  "We didn't have any reported accidents," said "Lou," who noted that standard Hot Lap Dance Club medical practices would have come into play had such an incident occurred.  "We have a first-aid kit," he said -- well, that's good to know -- "and we would have treated the guy or called an ambulance" in case of injury.

Oh, just the ambulance for me, thanks.  Yes, I know my eyeball is hanging out, and there's a lot of blood, but I'd just rather Lou and his "first-aid kit" stay over there.  Nor am I confident this young woman is actually a nurse, but thanks for the offer.  Actually, maybe I'll just go hail a cab and pop this back in myself on the way to my lawyer's office.

Because the extent of the injuries are not yet known, it is impossible to confirm or deny one blogger's speculation that the fist of the man's wife might be an possible alternative cause of the eye injury.

Link: CBS News