Family Law

When Children Star in a Public Divorce

By Erin Kelley

Recently Gov. Mark Sanford announced his extramarital affair with an Argentina woman. While most people are familiar with the story of a politician admitting to an affair during a political career, many were not prepared for Sanford to then go visit his mistress - all while lying to his staff and family about hiking the Appalachian Trial.

The Govenors wife, Jenny, found out about the affair in January. For months after the discovery, Jenny tried counseling to save the marriage for the sake of the couple’s four sons. She even allowed her husband the space he wanted, but the South Carolina first lady forbid her husband to go visit Maria Belen Chapur, the Argentinia mistress.

However, Jenny is not concerned about her marriage or the governor’s career anymore. Her number one priority is helping the boys through the couple’s public divorce.

“His career is not a concern of mine,” she told The Associated Press last week, according to news reports. “He’s going to have to worry about that. I’m worried about my family and the character of my children.”

Divorce is an incredibly hard situation to work through, but now the Sanfords will have to do it with the media and the rest of the world watching.

“These very public divorces add another layer of difficulty and complexity for children, because all their peers know,” Joy Berry, author of “Good Answers to Tough Questions about Divorce” told the press. “It would be nice if they got the support from their friends, but often they don’t. These situations are embarrassing, and it’s terrible to be embarrassed as a kid.”

According to studies, divorce typically has a more negative affect on children between the ages of 4 and 10 than teenagers. But some experts believe there are ways children may benefit in divorce.

“Family conflict where the family stays together can actually turn out worse for the children, especially if there’s violence,” Kenneth Dodge, a psychology professor at Duke and the director of the Center for Child and Family Policy, told the press. “Divorce can be healthier.”

Sources: The News & Observer, New York Daily News

Full post as published by The Divorce Blog on July 02, 2009 (boomark / email).